Online Dating is a Lost Cause

Spaz

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Joined OK Cupid hoping to expand my horizons meeting women, but I couldn't have been more wrong. I'm an offline type of guy, so all this comes as a surprise to me--a practical disgrace.

Online, you're automatically assumed to be nothing: a white knight willing to do anything to get a woman's attention. You'll send out 150 messages and be lucky to get a few replies. It seems that they see us as beggars who are easy to acquire and easy to dispose.

Your odds are incredibly better in the real world. I can get more dates approaching 25 women at a mall in two hours than writing messages to 150 women online. Lastly, women online are mostly damaged goods; psychological issues, sense of entitlement, radical feminists...I don't understand how these businesses still exist. It's definitely a source of depression and self-blaming for men, as we start to wonder if there's something wrong with ourselves.

Cold approaches is where the action is, gentlemen. Anyone else have a similar experience with online dating?

I've experimented with OkCupid, prolly abt 15 years back.

Took much of my free time, got some dates there.

More like a hunting ground for women.

Got some stalkers. Crazy women online.

I've not done OLD since.
 

derby1

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What these women dont understand is this: The guy that is chatting her up that is a 9 only wants to fvck her and nothing else
does this boil down to them being emotional based and not logical, cause youd think theyd figure this out after 2 pump and dumps, but your are right and i was already aware......they literally are still being pumped and dumped years later
 

Glassguy

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does this boil down to them being emotional based and not logical, cause youd think theyd figure this out after 2 pump and dumps, but your are right and i was already aware......they literally are still being pumped and dumped years later
Once their self esteem plummets, they become very slow learners. I honestly believe they think the next guy will be different and can still pull a guy that is an 8-9 with his shyte together in life when they are only a 6 with a hot mess of a personal life.

This also stems from the fact that its OLD and even 6's get hit on and messaged 20 times a day. Its smoke and mirrors. They have a false sense of a high value and worth because its not real life. Put the same 6 in club on a Saturday night and she wouldnt have even a 7 say "hi" to her.
 

sosousage

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Once their self esteem plummets, they become very slow learners. I honestly believe they think the next guy will be different and can still pull a guy that is an 8-9 with his shyte together in life when they are only a 6 with a hot mess of a personal life.

This also stems from the fact that its OLD and even 6's get hit on and messaged 20 times a day. Its smoke and mirrors. They have a false sense of a high value and worth because its not real life. Put the same 6 in club on a Saturday night and she wouldnt have even a 7 say "hi" to her.
its false but since internet is part of life nowadays then its partially real sense of entitlement/self esteem/ego/value
 

Masculinity

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of course.. easy pvssy from time to time, and some of the girls r smokin hot.

But if you’re looking for marriage/ sane women, stay away.

Haven’t you realized by now that cold approach in this day and age is just as bad as OLD?
I think men can do much better in cold approaches, depending on where he approaches and the social dynamic there.
 

Solomon

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Joined OK Cupid hoping to expand my horizons meeting women, but I couldn't have been more wrong. I'm an offline type of guy, so all this comes as a surprise to me--a practical disgrace.

Online, you're automatically assumed to be nothing: a white knight willing to do anything to get a woman's attention. You'll send out 150 messages and be lucky to get a few replies. It seems that they see us as beggars who are easy to acquire and easy to dispose.

Your odds are incredibly better in the real world. I can get more dates approaching 25 women at a mall in two hours than writing messages to 150 women online. Lastly, women online are mostly damaged goods; psychological issues, sense of entitlement, radical feminists...I don't understand how these businesses still exist. It's definitely a source of depression and self-blaming for men, as we start to wonder if there's something wrong with ourselves.

Cold approaches is where the action is, gentlemen. Anyone else have a similar experience with online dating?

Agreed but online dating is all based on location and your aesthetics

I say why not do both? approach women in real life and do online dating, as a guy who had reasonably online dating success I will say the field is king

IMO online dating should be used to supplement your real life approaching/social circle gaming etc

In the field

The women are hotter

The quality is better

I live near a college town, and the girls I see IRL are not on tinder, it's quite obvious to me, not just from observation but also talking to the girls("why would we need it?") They don't need Tinder hence online dating is useless. Unless you're looking for a fattie, single mother, or chick with mental issues

The hottest chicks in my town are in the field

So once again it's based on location IMO
 
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Masculinity

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Agreed but online dating is all based on location and your aesthetics

I say why not do both? approach women in real life and do online dating, as a guy who had reasonably online dating success I will say the field is king

IMO online dating should be used to supplement your real life approaching/social circle gaming etc

In the field

The women are hotter

The quality is better

I live near a college town, and the girls I see IRL are not on tinder, it's quite obvious to me, not just from observation but also talking to the girls("why would we need it?") They don't need Tinder hence online dating is useless. Unless you're looking for a fattie, single mother, or chick with mental issues

The hottest chicks in my town are in the field

So once again it's based on location IMO
Looks are key online. I have a hard rule not to stick my wiener in crazy though and that's mostly what I find online
 

Solomon

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Looks are key online. I have a hard rule not to stick my wiener in crazy though and that's mostly what I find online
Yup and for some odd reason my success has been less and less every since 2014

I even lost weight no difference

I believe now that online dating in my area has becoming either more competitive or I need to lose more weight/become rip
 

Masculinity

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Yup and for some odd reason my success has been less and less every since 2014

I even lost weight no difference

I believe now that online dating in my area has becoming either more competitive or I need to lose more weight/become rip
Competition has become more fierce, as it's easier to tap a screen than to approach an attractive woman in person.
 

MrWood

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a year off from OLD and I bet you'll see 75% of the same faces on there.
this might be true in the US. I just went back to a Euro site after 1.5y, went through all my previous responders, of about 50-80 profiles about 3 or 4 were all that still had profiles up.
note: the women to men ratio is about 2/1
 

devilkingx2

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Disagree, I had like 92 matches on Tinder playing it casually for 3 weeks. Only one girl I asked for a number and wouldn't give it. I had to cancel and flake on a few dates because I just wasn't ready, it was like shooting fish in a barrel. Deleted it though because I prefer to meet girls out and about and I was getting in way over my head and figured I'm better off matching and going on dates with these girls when I have the time.

I have a solid 10 numbers of chicks that want to meet stored in my phone for back up.
you're famous aren't you? you can't fool me channing
 

Murk

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you're famous aren't you? you can't fool me channing
I'm Hollywood handsome, many people say my Snapchat is like a TV show and I should be on TV. Typical charmer, I make friends with everyone, my only fault is I'm mentally fvcked, anxious, other thinker, but hide it well. We can't all be perfect.
 

Masculinity

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Exactly how many messages did you send and how many responses did you get before concluding that OLD is a disgrace?

Based on my many years of OLD success (have met at least 200 women via OLD): if I'm sending out 150 messages, I can expect 15 lay opportunities. This is based on a very conservative ratio of 1 in 10 responses.

15 women is enough to keep me very busy for a very long time.
Let's talk about this in a private conversation...haha. I'd like to learn what steps you take.
 

MrWood

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my hit rate is at least 50% responders, only HB7-9 contacted, I use various push/pull openers
my age target is 38-42, most younger dont have kids and want them, 28-37 w/kids want providers
2-3 a week unsolicited contacts - random HB4-6, a few HB7-8
Mostly Russian, StP/Moscow - I live in Finland, but now going for 2nd date with a professional masseuse from Estonia 42/HB7
 

Grit-Persist

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Joined OK Cupid hoping to expand my horizons meeting women, but I couldn't have been more wrong. I'm an offline type of guy, so all this comes as a surprise to me--a practical disgrace.

Online, you're automatically assumed to be nothing: a white knight willing to do anything to get a woman's attention. You'll send out 150 messages and be lucky to get a few replies. It seems that they see us as beggars who are easy to acquire and easy to dispose.

Your odds are incredibly better in the real world. I can get more dates approaching 25 women at a mall in two hours than writing messages to 150 women online. Lastly, women online are mostly damaged goods; psychological issues, sense of entitlement, radical feminists...I don't understand how these businesses still exist. It's definitely a source of depression and self-blaming for men, as we start to wonder if there's something wrong with ourselves.

Cold approaches is where the action is, gentlemen. Anyone else have a similar experience with online dating?
Listen, there's no one medium that's better than another. To meet women, you have the following mediums:

- OLD
- Social Circles for warm approaches
- Random cold approaches at random places during the day or night

Use all of them.
 

the_stig

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I haven't been on any of the sites for a couple years, just occasional Tinder and Bumble use.It's so much harder than it was a few years ago. I think part of it is being 34 puts me out of swiping range of the early-mid 20's, but even then, five years ago I could keep a pretty steady rotation of 2-3-4 girls, would get 2nd dates pretty often, sex or at minimum fooling around on the first date happened regularly. Now it's few times per year if I'm lucky. Hell it's hard enough to even land a date with a decent girl (not overweight) let alone maintain her interest long enough to meet for a 2nd, 3rd, etc.

I partly wonder if it's me, but I don't think it is? I'm an avid runner and cyclist, don't drink or smoke, most people think I'm still mid-late twenties and are shocked when they hear otherwise, so not aging poorly. Yet it's soo much more difficult than it was 5-10 years ago. I don't get it.
 

DEEZEDBRAH

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Joined OK Cupid hoping to expand my horizons meeting women, but I couldn't have been more wrong. I'm an offline type of guy, so all this comes as a surprise to me--a practical disgrace.

Online, you're automatically assumed to be nothing: a white knight willing to do anything to get a woman's attention. You'll send out 150 messages and be lucky to get a few replies. It seems that they see us as beggars who are easy to acquire and easy to dispose.

Your odds are incredibly better in the real world. I can get more dates approaching 25 women at a mall in two hours than writing messages to 150 women online. Lastly, women online are mostly damaged goods; psychological issues, sense of entitlement, radical feminists...I don't understand how these businesses still exist. It's definitely a source of depression and self-blaming for men, as we start to wonder if there's something wrong with ourselves.

Cold approaches is where the action is, gentlemen. Anyone else have a similar experience with online dating?
Use ETP2.0 (thank you reddit). Obv, the best pics you have, no group shots or try hard **** like hot women in pics. Its pathetic and predictable. If a woman uses "single mom, feminist, SJWs, and or curvy," NEXT HER!

I have the samething going for me mate. With online like bumble/tinder, even on the tube in London, I can match tons of women, and 99% its not from around. Its usually tourism. Munich is great that way too. Amsterdam too. See, my mates and I get **** from women back home so, when in America, its like scoring on a open net.


Cold approach is king. Still, you should clean up these blind spots. Give ETP 2.0 a go. My only word of warning is to use snapchat to screen for lady boys and fatties. Women love to post pics from the 90s and early 2000s when thin/young/attractive. I never use sites like pof or okc. I found Bumble > tinder. Less bots and if a woman matches she is 99% dtf. Tinder was great but, it has fallen from grace ages ago.

The E standards women have is absurd and they bring very little to the table. Always low hanging fruit. Going out with a girl late this week. She is young, foreign, and pretty cute. Again, snapchat avoid fatties and haggard women rather then a shocker on date.
 

Solomon

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I haven't been on any of the sites for a couple years, just occasional Tinder and Bumble use.It's so much harder than it was a few years ago. I think part of it is being 34 puts me out of swiping range of the early-mid 20's, but even then, five years ago I could keep a pretty steady rotation of 2-3-4 girls, would get 2nd dates pretty often, sex or at minimum fooling around on the first date happened regularly. Now it's few times per year if I'm lucky. Hell it's hard enough to even land a date with a decent girl (not overweight) let alone maintain her interest long enough to meet for a 2nd, 3rd, etc.

I partly wonder if it's me, but I don't think it is? I'm an avid runner and cyclist, don't drink or smoke, most people think I'm still mid-late twenties and are shocked when they hear otherwise, so not aging poorly. Yet it's soo much more difficult than it was 5-10 years ago. I don't get it.
What's good bro, nice to see a familiar face. I have come to the conclusion that online dating where we live has become waaaaaaaaaaay more competitive, in a weird way the field hasn't
 

the_stig

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What's good bro, nice to see a familiar face. I have come to the conclusion that online dating where we live has become waaaaaaaaaaay more competitive, in a weird way the field hasn't
What's up man I've been meaning to text you! How you been?
 
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