Shivastorm_88
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Jul 10, 2007
- Messages
- 408
- Reaction score
- 16
I like to look back at how I used to be before I discovered this website. Although I am not yet where I wish to be, looking back makes me realize how far I have gone from. Every aspect of my life has been ameliorated through this website (mostly through the book of Pook, AD posts and a few select others, such as the boot camp), ranging from the way I live my life (hobbies, priorities, philosophy of life) to the way I interact with people (both women and men), without forgetting the very sought alpha male aspect.
Oneitis, as viewed by AFCs, is falling in love. In our society, it's normal to fall in love with a girl that you just met, and try to win her love through offerings... We can thank the media (books, TV) for that. Oneitis, as viewed by myself (and I'm assuming most of this forum), is simply infatuation for a girl, and letting your emotions cloud your judgment. For the AFC, oneitis is Godly and defines his life, while for us who are "aware of the matrix", it is to be avoided like the black plague (I personally agree with avoiding oneitis, but disagree with the method to avoid it, and I will explain later on).
Back in my major AFC days (14-16 years old), I used to get Oneitis for a girl that I spoke once or twice in my life, and it was so bad that I did not dare speak to her in person, only through MSN, but because of that, I felt like I was still connecting with her, and the oneitis grew worse. Then I grew a bit older, a bit more mature, I was still an AFC, but not as bad. Yes I was still getting oneitis for a girl, but by then (17-19 years old) I wasn't actually scared to talk to her. Eventually I came to this website, I learned a huge deal about women, about dating, about life, and my attitude started changing. I still got oneitis, but only with girls that had an interest in me as well (needless to say, they lost interest very quickly)
Recently, something triggered a huge domino effect of change in me, and I've realized something. Here, it is preached to spin plates in order not to get oneitis for a girl. Although I don't disagree with the concepts of spinning plates, I do disagree with the motive for it (to avoid oneitis). Spinning plate to avoid this is simply covering the problem, it isn't addressing it at it's core. What will happen when you decide to settle for a LTR and stop spinning plates? I believe the best method to avoid oneitis is to learn to control your emotions. Simple as that. Although extremely hard to do (and can't be done overnight), now that I learned how to control my emotions, I don't really get oneitis anymore.
A real live example: Right now I am very busy, and therefore not really interested in the dating scene. Lots of sports, lots of activities, school and work means my free time is very scarce, and when I do have free time, it's either for my hobbies or for my friends. However, there is one girl (personally I find her an HB8.5, I also did see her as a LTR material, although she has a solid relationship with her BF) that I hang out with about twice a week. She is basically my sports buddy, with whom I wall climb, do yoga, ice skate, but I also chill with her from times to times. Other than her, I am not seeing any girl right now due to lack of time. The old me (major AFC, or even AFC) would've been head over heels for her. Even the recent me (about a year ago) would have oneitis for her. However, the current me isn't head over heels for her.. Not even remotely close. Not because I am spinning plates (don't have time), but simply because I can control my emotions. I guess the fact that I am busy with so many things help, but even then, the real reason why I am no longer falling prey to oneitis is my self-control.
Oneitis, as viewed by AFCs, is falling in love. In our society, it's normal to fall in love with a girl that you just met, and try to win her love through offerings... We can thank the media (books, TV) for that. Oneitis, as viewed by myself (and I'm assuming most of this forum), is simply infatuation for a girl, and letting your emotions cloud your judgment. For the AFC, oneitis is Godly and defines his life, while for us who are "aware of the matrix", it is to be avoided like the black plague (I personally agree with avoiding oneitis, but disagree with the method to avoid it, and I will explain later on).
Back in my major AFC days (14-16 years old), I used to get Oneitis for a girl that I spoke once or twice in my life, and it was so bad that I did not dare speak to her in person, only through MSN, but because of that, I felt like I was still connecting with her, and the oneitis grew worse. Then I grew a bit older, a bit more mature, I was still an AFC, but not as bad. Yes I was still getting oneitis for a girl, but by then (17-19 years old) I wasn't actually scared to talk to her. Eventually I came to this website, I learned a huge deal about women, about dating, about life, and my attitude started changing. I still got oneitis, but only with girls that had an interest in me as well (needless to say, they lost interest very quickly)
Recently, something triggered a huge domino effect of change in me, and I've realized something. Here, it is preached to spin plates in order not to get oneitis for a girl. Although I don't disagree with the concepts of spinning plates, I do disagree with the motive for it (to avoid oneitis). Spinning plate to avoid this is simply covering the problem, it isn't addressing it at it's core. What will happen when you decide to settle for a LTR and stop spinning plates? I believe the best method to avoid oneitis is to learn to control your emotions. Simple as that. Although extremely hard to do (and can't be done overnight), now that I learned how to control my emotions, I don't really get oneitis anymore.
A real live example: Right now I am very busy, and therefore not really interested in the dating scene. Lots of sports, lots of activities, school and work means my free time is very scarce, and when I do have free time, it's either for my hobbies or for my friends. However, there is one girl (personally I find her an HB8.5, I also did see her as a LTR material, although she has a solid relationship with her BF) that I hang out with about twice a week. She is basically my sports buddy, with whom I wall climb, do yoga, ice skate, but I also chill with her from times to times. Other than her, I am not seeing any girl right now due to lack of time. The old me (major AFC, or even AFC) would've been head over heels for her. Even the recent me (about a year ago) would have oneitis for her. However, the current me isn't head over heels for her.. Not even remotely close. Not because I am spinning plates (don't have time), but simply because I can control my emotions. I guess the fact that I am busy with so many things help, but even then, the real reason why I am no longer falling prey to oneitis is my self-control.
