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One of the most important posts ever!

Discussion in 'The Hall of Excellence' started by Hidden-Danjer, Jul 30, 2000.

  1. Hidden-Danjer

    Hidden-Danjer Master Don Juan

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    Yes, I know this is in the hall of fame but I doubt many of you have read it when you really should!

    I posted an article last week about getting back with my ex, and everyone's resounding answer was FORGET HER!

    Well guys, she's forgotten! It just goes to prove how stupid you can get when you fall for a girl. All of you younger guys really could learn from this. Here's the story of how to make a cheap girl glitter like gold, how to break your own heart, and how to lose everything that matters to you. Take notes, guys, don't screw up like I did.

    It was August of 1999 and I had just got back from being a counselor at a Youth Leadership camp. I was working at a gas station at the time and a friend of mine and his girlfriend walked in. They had with them another girl. There was nothing spectacular about her looks, and she was considerably sunburned. A 7 at best. She was very quiet and shy. I joke with my freind as they ordered a cold cut samwich. (We have a deli) Apparently she was attracted to my wit, because she left her number for me on a napkin. A week later I called her, and she suggested that we go to the movies with the couple she came in with. We had a VERY long conversation and appeared to really hit it off. Everything was great up until this point. Then I got stupid.

    A week later we went on the date. The movie was good, and I discovered that she had a great sense of humor. We talked and laughed and had a good time. Then we got back to her friend's house. HERE IS WHERE I BECOME A WORLD CLASS IDIOT. PAY ATTENTION AND DON'T DO WHAT I DID!

    I was totally amazed by her. I THOUGHT she had everything that I wanted. I was BLINDED! I stood there and told her for like two hours how wonderful she was. And since she had never had anyone tell her that, she just ate it up. Flattery was getting me EVERYWHERE, she was wrapped around my finger. But I was stupid enough to wrap my own self around something that didn't exist.

    One date and I though I was in love! THAT IS STUPIDITY! But it gets worse!! Take notes, young guys, this is your life!

    I called her the next day, still fawning over this Goddess I hade made out of an average girl. She was nothing too special, but I put her on a pedestal anyway. MISTAKE #5. I even wrote a couple poems about her. AFTER ONLY ONE DATE!! MISTAKE #6. I acted like a puppy on a string, AFTER ONLY ONE DATE!! MISTAKE #7. Do you get the picture?

    Just because I had never gotten any female attention before, I was falling for the first girl that gave me the time of day. DON'T BE THIS STUPID!! Guys, this is the easiest thing to do. You want to treat her like a princess because she makes you feel so good. You would do anything she says. MISTAKE! "But I love her!!," You say. You're not in love, you're infatuated with the idea of being in love!

    Oh wait, IT GET'S WORSE!!

    I started planning a second date. Wanted everything to be perfect for this girl I was in "love" with. MISTAKE #8. Once you start obessing, you've lost it. But she had never had anybody treat her this good, so she was still eating it up! A confident girl would have never agreed to a second date! TAKE NOTE OF THAT! I was calling her every day, and without knowing it, I was becoming more of a pest than a date. So I took her to a park in the mountains where we had a picnic. I read my poetry to her, and told her that I wrote it about her. MISTAKE #9. She was uncomfortable, but flattered. The relationship was still salvagable at this point, BUT I WAS AN IDIOT IN LOVE. When we got back to her house, we stood on the porch and talked until midnight. MISTAKE #10. Yeah, talking is good, but not when you have no real intimacy with the girl. I was trying to create some kind of false intimacy. MISTAKE #11. I had never even held this girls hand!! MISTAKE #12. Like a little lost puppy, I asked her if we could be "official' boyfriend and girlfriend, to be the one to change my pansy diapers. MISTAKE #13. She, feeling sorry for me, said yes. HER MISTAKE!

    YES! IT EVEN GETS WORSE FROM HERE! I AM SERIOUS, DON'T BE STUPID LIKE ME!

    So I call her every day, trying to set up a third date. MISTAKE #14. She blows me off on several occasions, and I act like it is OK. MISTAKE #16. She starts to avoid me. (Now she's getting smart) So I start visiting her at work. MISTAKE #17. Her old boyfriend is back in the picture. I find out that she was ENGAGED to the guy when she started dating me!! She still has feelings for the guy who treated her like dirt and I do nothing about it! REALLY STUPID MISTAKE #18. So I call her more often and she blows me off again and again. Still I act like everything is ok. MISTAKE #19. We finally get a third date. Yes, only THREE dates in THREE months. And this is the girl I supposedly "love".

    So after about a month of almost becoming a stalker, I had finally had enough, so I do the ONLY SMART THING I DID IN THIS RELATIONSHIP. I told her I was meeting her at work and that we WERE going to talk about things. She had blown off a date with me so she could work! A week earlier I had prepared a candlight dinner for her, and I wasn't smart enough to take her hint when she blew that off, so I made it a candle light LUNCH! IDIOTIC MISTAKE #20. So I cried for like two hours and basically broke my hand from punching things that day. MISTAKE #21.

    So I met her at work and she could instantly tell that I was upset. I told her I was. (This was actually a smart thing.) So we found a place and sat down and I held her tight. I had a lot to say. I told her that I couldn't handle this playing phone tag all the time and her avoiding me. But I was STILL stupid enough to think I could make it work. MISTAKE #22. Then I was stupid enough to actually initiate LETS JUST BE FRIENDS FOR A WHILE!! WORLD'S STUPIDEST MISTAKE #23. Are you learning anything?? So when it is all over she is thinking, "Finally, this guy is gone." Even though she still thinks I'm a sweet person, she's glad I'm gone. And as I watch her walk away, I think "There goes the only girl I ever loved." And I start to cry. STUPID!! UNBELIVABLY STUPID MISTAKE #24.

    As if that wasn't enough, I thought I could still fix the relationship. MISTAKE #25. So I try to call her and I whine to her Mom for a while. MISTAKE #26. I whine to her sisters. MISTAKE #27. I whine to her friend, (who was actually dumb enough to side with me!) MISTAKE # 28. I finally get a hold of her and I am sucessful at killing whatever spark might have been there with my pleading. KILLER MISTKE #29.

    Please learn from this!! This girl was no super model! She was a little unstable, with a screwed up family! She was emotionally abused by her father and ex-boyfriend and for a while she was glad to have someone treat her like a princess. The only really pretty thing about her was her eyes and her nice round butt. Like I said, a seven at best! I wasn't even attracted to her at first! But here I was, drooling over her at every chance I got. Now she's dating a guy that treats her like dirt, and this 'sweet' girl, who I thought was a good Christian and who had vowed never to have sex before marrige, is screwing this guy! Just goes to show you what can happen if you don't even really know the girl you are in "love" with!

    Young guys (and older guys too!) Don't be this stupid! No woman is worth it! Only now can I see that she isn't even a person I want to be freinds with! Don't be blinded by infatuation.

    Can you see all of the stupid mistakes I made? How many of these mistakes are you making??

    I really need some feedback on this! Is there anyone out there with a similar experience??

    Let me know if this helped you! Please don't make the same stupid mistakes I did!

    Somebody let Allen Thompson know about this post, because every young Don Juan needs to read it.

    ~Preachaman

    PS: DON'T MAKE THE SAME MISTAKES!

    POSTED BY: Preachaman (Mar 13th 99)

    ------------------
    *Hidden-Danjer* -Top english geezer

    And you better believe it matey! :)
     
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  2. Anti-Dump

    Anti-Dump Master Don Juan

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    He only made ONE mistake. He took her number.

    I keep trying to tell you guys when a women INITIATES a date or relationship she is not very serious. Women have a million reasons for asking you out.

    Very few are for romantic purposes. This guy blamed himself. That's a shame. THE GIRL HAD LOW INTEREST FROM THE START. Him getting the number the 'easy way' should have alerted him not to take it seriously.

    You guys have to keep your EGOS in place. You think you must be fantastic for her to give you her number. It proves you don't know women. WHEN A GUY IS FANTASTIC WOMEN (most) ARE A LITTLE AFRAID to make a move.

    They make their moves on guys that are NOT overpowering emotionally. If a woman thinks you are out of her league (above her) she will NOT ask you out.

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  3. Hidden-Danjer

    Hidden-Danjer Master Don Juan

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    Anti-Dump

    Yeah, your right about him taking her number.

    If he had followed your advice right from the start he would never have got into that mess!

    But to say that was his ONLY mistake?

    PLEASE!!

    ------------------
    *Hidden-Danjer* -Top english geezer

    And you better believe it matey! :)
     
  4. Anti-Dump

    Anti-Dump Master Don Juan

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    P.S.,

    Notice how SHE suggested the movies (not HIS first date idea) and brought a couple with her. She didn't want to be alone with him.

    He should have REJECTED the movie idea, and made a counter-offer to do something else to test her interest. The he could have WEEDED her out right there.

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  5. Anti-Dump

    Anti-Dump Master Don Juan

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    Hidden-Danjer,

    That was the only IMPORTANT mistake.

    If he had asked for the number,
    He DID make all the others of course! I used to make all those mistakes myself. I won't say which ones. He,he,he!!!

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  6. Anti-Dump

    Anti-Dump Master Don Juan

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    Hidden-Danjer,

    I just want to show that confidence is great but strategy is more important. It saves time and emotion and money.

    To say like Vassago said in your last post from the Hall of Fame:

    "If you get rejected SO WHAT" is ridiculous to me. Life doesn't have to be ALL hard knocks. You can do something about women.

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  7. terminator911

    terminator911 Master Don Juan

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    Sad story indeed...

    ------------------
    "Women. They've got half the money in the world and all the pu$$y."
     
  8. Pook

    Pook Master Don Juan

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    Hidden, thanks for sharing with all the details. I know that took an effort to write and its hard looking back at such a bad time when all you want to do is forget about it and move on.

    I'm finding myself in a *similiar* situation. The girl was hitting on me very very hard, yet I turned her down (haha!). But I admit, I was very very flattered (what bigger boost is there to the ego then a chick hitting on you HARD?). We've been playing lots of phone tag. I've noticed that infatuation has creeped up on me.

    Most guys on this forum are (or were) nice guys. SPOT INFATUATION AS SOON AS IT BEGINS. It is important to SEE infatuation before you mistake it as 'love'. This is what makes puppies out of nice guys.

    I'm willing to walk away at the drop of the hat. I know she's not worth it. But I'll play along for now, let the clock tick, and see what happens. Women seem to be very patient and letting the clock tick is one of the best things I've found so far.

    Anti-Dump is semi-right that a women will not find it interesting if *she* initiates the date/meeting/etc. But the woman wouldn't initiate it if she didn't want it.

    But that brings us to a contradiction. After all, wouldn't WE find it boring to initiate a date/meeting/etc.? Of course, this isn't true. So if men do not get bored with initiating a date/meeting/etc. then why would a woman? I think Anti-Dump has missed something here.

    Women use sex to get relationships; men use relationships to get sex. That is how the sexes are wired. The latter demands reproduction, the former demands nurturing. Both are essential to the continuance of the species.

    If you were to find out that the woman you were dating was a slut and *easy*, you would quickly stop dating her. (unless you planned to 'use' her, but that's a whole different story)

    Now let's say you are female. You find out that the guy you were dating is *easy* emotionally and becomes instantly infatuated with you (i.e. NICE GUY). You would quickly stop dating him (unless you planned to 'use' him and milk him of his money, etc. but that's also a whole different story).

    Just because a woman INITIATES the contact doesn't mean its uninteresting to her (hell, she wants it to happen or else why go through the trouble?). What is important to remember that us guys would take that initialization of contact and turn it into infatuation ("Whoa! She's asking me out! Man, I'm killer stuff! She must really like me!).

    The reaction is that we guys become flattered and become very easy emotionally for them. The point is not that the initialization done by the woman that makes the man uninteresting, but the man surrenduring emotionally to the women that initiates it.

    Any thoughts on this?
     
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  9. NEANDERTHAL SUPERSOLDIER

    NEANDERTHAL SUPERSOLDIER Banned

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    here ya go for all ya AD and Pook worshipers out there. BUMP.
     
  10. CHALENGE GUY

    CHALENGE GUY Senior Don Juan

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    Thanks NEANDERTHAL SUPERSOLDIER
     
  11. Paradox

    Paradox Master Don Juan

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    Bump
     
  12. PortugueseMeatball

    PortugueseMeatball Senior Don Juan

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    Hear, hear.

    I went through a similar story. A organ-playing friend introduced me to a choir and I started enjoying it. There were two or three girls over there, kinda cute, but I had my eyes on someone else back at school; didn't get any (at school or at the choir) because I was prime AFC material. Well, the guy gets out, and so do the girls (at different times and for different reasons). One girl (the main target of the story) started dating a school class colleage of hers after that. So, I was left directing the church choir (I played organ and there was no one else to teach them new songs, so they picked me). Everything was OK. A few months after that the two girls come back to the choir; there were few people, so I used friendly talk (maybe I incidentely was coming across some rapport-building stuff without me knowing it) to convince them to come back. All true. So they decide to resume their choir activities after a couple of years interlude. So, at the time I was the puppeteer... >:->

    I get infatuated over one of those two girls (the one that never had a boyfriend). Not much there, it had already happened. The good policy would've been "don't date people from work" -- or choir, or whatever. Well, the other girl had a birthday coming up in a few months, so I planned to offer a dinner at a restaurant I really liked. My main idea was not to get to any of those girls, actually, but rather have a good excuse to return to that restaurant, I really liked it -- honest! So I spoke of the restaurant and I said that "we should go there sometime". Again, my idea was to offer it on the second girl's birthday, but neither knew about that, making it both pleasant (for them, I hoped) and useful (for me, I liked the restaurant... now I'm sounding like a ravaging meal-eating beast... well, not far from truth! ;-) ).

    The second girl gets ahead of time and invites me and the girl I was infatuated to have dinner at that restaurant. That caught me off-guard. I didn't want to sound unpleasant or pushy (goddam it!!! why??!!!) so I accepted it; after all, the girl I was infatuated would be there. I get to the meeting place, and only the second girl is there. It was still salvagable, I guess... but I went with the other girl. It happened we really hit it off, or so I chose to think. We only broke the dinner (just dinner!) date after 5 or 6 HOURS!!! because I hung around the other girl like a hungry beast, coming closer to her, and she backing off... I should've taken the hint then, but I was a poor AFC...

    It turned out that this second girl had a boyfriend (her first) for 2 years and they were to be married. But he somehow got tired of her (hmm...) and started hanging out with another girl, and she hates both of them (her more than him, she really never forgot him). Being around this second girl more often, I get infatuated over her (oh dear). And after TWO DATES, I offer that we become exclusive (heavens!! no!!).

    To make the story more brief, I went through a dating-breaking up patter for three times until I said "enough!" and permanently walked away. It was the only smart thing I did the whole time. My mom sensed she was no good and it took some time before I see it through and realise that mom was right all along. That girl was the needy kind. Raised by her grandparents, both parents separated, she chose to live with them. Her dad told her (by her account) that his legacy to her was "the ground she'd walk on", something like that. Talk about disfunctional family. And somehow I sense she was hoping me to save her from her doom --- when I'm having a hard time turning myself into an independent man! I still don't know her true motives. Maybe she was trying to use me to cause envy to her old boyfriend --- making him see that she was "over him" because she was seeing someone else. Ha!

    Ah, and BUMP! too.
     
  13. Fu Fu

    Fu Fu Don Juan

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    Bumpin' some advice fom the Masters!
     
  14. Blaaaaat

    Blaaaaat Senior Don Juan

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    I had/have a similiar situation

    I met the girl on a party last August, and i wasn't interested in her at all. When the days passed by, i start seeing her more and more, and she gave me a real high intersted level. So... I started to like her more and more, and i started to act like an AFC more and more.... no suprise... the intrest level went away... I really screwed up al lot in this period, a lot of AFC-actions... :( Seeing her every day, being reallly nice, acting like a friend instead of acting like a boyfriend. Haha, stupid me, later i found out she was banging with some other guy at this point. To bad for me i was already in love, and my feelings were stronger then my logical thinking, something that i'm not familiar with BTW.

    Sorry for me i havent found this website and when i first read some of the articles I noticed that i did a lot! of things wrong... to f#cking late...

    So at some point I realized that it wouldn't work, but it was too late. I was so stupid to fall in love, i can honestly say i have never felt so strong to someone as much I did. So i wrote her an email, and bassicly said that it was to painfull for me to see her knowing she didnt cared about me as i did for her. Uhm... now i think i overdid it in explaining to here... completly honest about my feelings, which i kinda regret now...

    So i stopped seeing her for about three-four weeks when she contacted me again, wanted to see a movie (she had already saw the movie, but wanted to see it again with me). So I agreed.... I realy cared for her, so i did try the LJBF thingie... Big mistake, this is something i will never do again. Somehow she got me into a weekend to France with her mom, in March...

    well... blah blah...
    My problem, My logical thinking is saying "get out, this ain't worth all the sh!t". But my feelings won't go away. I already understand that things will never happen. But I starting to get crazy as the feelings won't go away. I can't break the "friendship" because the ticket to France is already paid for. So what can/should I do to make my feelings towards her going away?

    (did i mentioned she wants to work in another country for about one year... and one of my best friends is proberly going with her... haha, i feel so f#cking stupid :( )
     
  15. TheLink

    TheLink New Member

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    You know what...you make me feel SO MUCH BETTER !!!

    I went out with a girl at that night club, did a few CP, talked a little bit, and kissed her. Since i hadn't been out with a girl for a few years, i thought a REALLY thought i was in love with her. But she was only average, at most a 7 !!! And she ended up hanging out with other guys 1 day later. And then i never saw her again ! I was treating her like gold, and felt sooo bad after that. THANK YOU SO MUCH !
     
  16. whiteee

    whiteee Don Juan

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    Need help lost in "love??" similar crisis

    HEy guys i really need help ..... I dont what the hell is going on im so crazy about this girl i met in a nightclub she seems awesome (am i going nuts or what?) to cut to the chase the story goes back a month ago when i met her in a nightclub we danced and **** got to know each other seems she was interested...... id go up to her talk a bit and then go off mingle with other girls anyways shes like so when are you gonna come back im like im always here so shes like ill see u here on saturday im like ok fine.... anyways she shows up the following saturday and i dont give her too much face and i had two girls with me dancing all the time and her eyes couldnt stay off me. Anyways i see her two weeks later on a saturday and she runs up to me and hugs me and says i came down to see you im like im so happy u came (mistake) and she kisses me on the cheek so we dance alot that night and i make out with her and at the end of the night i take her number........ This is where the story gets freakin (painful to me) weird anyways i call her up like four days later and we go have coffee (alone) around midnight so we get to know each other better we talk and talk and all thru out her conversation she was hinting about us and stuff and as she was driving me home she was talking about her bad experiences with her X boyfriends and we makeout intensely.... so we decide to go the next day to that same nightclub anyways........ So far so good?? like the dumbass i am, got drunk b4 we met and she asked to sit and talk outside for a bit i spilt my guts out to her telling her she is so special im attracted to you(i didnt mention love) i really like you and talked so emotional she seemed to be responsive and told me that she is not ready to date and that she'll think about it (i got pissed off so much, drinking really F@#$%s with a persons emotions) anyways i didnt react to that so we went in and she ****ed around dancing with other guys for that moment she really got to me it really hurt for some weird reason....... she talked to my friend and told him to take me home cuz i wasnt very stable and told hmi that she really likes me and cares about me................. i think that is what messed up everything..... i call her the next day she doesnt asnwer........ (4 times) i call her the day after that and she answers being like all [pissed off asking why ive been bothering her with all the phone calls im like i just called to see if i didnt disrespect you in anyway she was quite and was like no but thanks for calling.......... so i dont call her for another four days (by that time my heart is being ripped apart at what is going on) she directly answers and asks about me anyways that was that. a few phone calls here and there she tells (i never brought up the subject of what happened) that shes got her period, or her face is messed up or shes going thru a depression....... and finally this saturday shes like i wanna see u tomorrow to have coffee (finally there is a God!) i call her up the next day she doesnt answer......... that really pissed me off and it hurt like hell........... i sent her a message the following day saying answer the phone i wanna end this game, she replies im sorry but my phone is out of order call and see..... i didnt bother i replied back saying that it seems u dont wanna talk to me anymore....... no reply then like the freakin desperate/lost/crazed dumbass that i am i sent her back saying that i guess the answer is no well its been nice knowing you you'll always have a special place in my heart love you........ from then on i called her a week later another stupid mistake and she doesn't answer.................... sorry for all the bull**** and this is gonna seem a stupid question but what am i going to do? im crazy about her its so freaking weird i cant explain it.................... help in need of advice............ thanks
     
  17. Blaaaaat

    Blaaaaat Senior Don Juan

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    Hehe, glad I could help.
     
  18. librito

    librito Senior Don Juan

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    hidden danger said.....
    Can you see all of the stupid mistakes I made? How many of these mistakes are you making??

    I say.... I know I did them all but thanks to sosuave at least I realized those were mistakes.
    A question to all the AFCs out there. are you still making those same mistakes? if so, change your attitude towars chicks because those acts wont help you to get laid.
     
  19. JackPrescott

    JackPrescott Banned

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    Wow, that was pathetic.

    Rule number 1. NEVER suck up to a woman. Be nice to them, to a point for sure. But dont put them on pedastals, they hate that.

    Rule 2. Mistakes 25-29 are the absolute worst. Women DESPISE whiners. And you NEVER beg a woman, let them beg you. Remember that song "Boys are back in town" "If she dont wanna know, forget her"

    Rule 3. "Now shes dating a guy who treats her like dirt" Do we learn anything here? Women love a$$holes/jerks. So be one. Confusious say, if hunter is stalking antelope, he has fruitful hunt by copying tactics of fat tiger. Skinny tiger's skeletons line the jungle, because they dont know how to hunt. Women love to be treated bad. Not physical abuse, but they WANT and NEED to fight for your love and affection, and it needs to be earned.

    Rule 4. Dont bother with "LJBF" It never works, if a woman isnt willing to get naked for you, "Next"...and crying in front of a woman, has the same effect on her sexually, as spoiled porkroast.

    Rule 5. Dont call. Let them do the calling. If they are interested, they will ring you. Dont bother them at work, or their homes, if you are wanted, you will be invited. Oh, an OCCASIONAL quick call to say "Hi, wanna have a drink" or such is fine, but keep it short, sweet and to the point.

    You could have fukked this honey, or possibly made her a girlfriend had you acted mysterious, aloof, and scarce. Had she seen you or heard about you with other women, you may have got her natural competetiveness/cattiness going. The game of love is 50% physical, 50% head games.
     
  20. Stackthestyles

    Stackthestyles Banned

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    bump
     

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