omfg so many missed opportunities

[aelux]

Figured I would post in the case that someone else has had a similar experience.

For a long time I've been an AFC and had serious resentment against women because

a) the women who pursued me were very substandard
b) had some serious heartaches/breaks in junior hs and hs
c) the women I liked always seemed to just play games

as a result I've always, repeat, always ignored AIs because I figured they were just another woman playing games.

After reading AFS, like a thunderbolt, I realized the problem is ME.

I've ignored literally hundreds of AIs out of fear. Just today there was a girl in line at the cafe who looked back, and after a bried pause, licked her lips, adjusted her hips, and went through her purse. Of course being the AFC that I am, I said "oh she's probably just randomly licking her lips and adjusting her posture." Nevermind that she might actually have thought I was attractive and wanted me to initiate conversation.

Also, coupled with that fear was a belief that if a woman reaaallly was attracted to me she would initiate conversation with me. FALSE. I was ignoring the biological wiring that tells women to be submissive and coax men into action. And, I've been ignoring my biological wiring that has been torturously commanding me to take action and initiate contact with HBs with or without AIs.

So today I made two initiations. First, I saw a girl sitting down drinking milk that had previously tossed her hair when I walked by her. So I stopped and said "milk does a body good." I got a "what???" then after repeating she smiled and said "of course it does!"

This is farther than I've ever gotten. Again, out of fear I went to check the bookstore and exclaimed "oh the bookstore isn't open." Turned, smiled, and said, have I nice day. She smiled and said you too.

Even though I got afraid this encounter boosted my confidence.

Next, I saw a girl in one of my classes and initiated a conversation. We talked for about 5 minutes and I ejected again out of fear.

So the next step for me is turning an initiation into a pickup

Of course tommorow I have to deal with a very HB in math class who has been torturing me. But as my friends have said "just ask her out." I'm going to call her bluff and even if it isn't successful I won't have to worry about her anymore and can move on.

Thanks to everyone who has posted on this site and comments would be greatly appreciated!

 

[\O/]

Way to go aelux!

It's not so scary is it? And it gets easier. Cold approaches are the hardest part of a pickup because of fear of rejection... It will get easier and easier to stay in sets before ejecting...

Good luck

 

[Cableguy]

Figured I would post in the case that someone else has had a similar experience.

For a long time I've been an AFC and had serious resentment against women because

a) the women who pursued me were very substandard
b) had some serious heartaches/breaks in junior hs and hs
c) the women I liked always seemed to just play games

as a result I've always, repeat, always ignored AIs because I figured they were just another woman playing games.

After reading AFS, like a thunderbolt, I realized the problem is ME.

I've ignored literally hundreds of AIs out of fear. Just today there was a girl in line at the cafe who looked back, and after a bried pause, licked her lips, adjusted her hips, and went through her purse. Of course being the AFC that I am, I said "oh she's probably just randomly licking her lips and adjusting her posture." Nevermind that she might actually have thought I was attractive and wanted me to initiate conversation.

Also, coupled with that fear was a belief that if a woman reaaallly was attracted to me she would initiate conversation with me. FALSE. I was ignoring the biological wiring that tells women to be submissive and coax men into action. And, I've been ignoring my biological wiring that has been torturously commanding me to take action and initiate contact with HBs with or without AIs.

So today I made two initiations. First, I saw a girl sitting down drinking milk that had previously tossed her hair when I walked by her. So I stopped and said "milk does a body good." I got a "what???" then after repeating she smiled and said "of course it does!"

This is farther than I've ever gotten. Again, out of fear I went to check the bookstore and exclaimed "oh the bookstore isn't open." Turned, smiled, and said, have I nice day. She smiled and said you too.

Even though I got afraid this encounter boosted my confidence.

Next, I saw a girl in one of my classes and initiated a conversation. We talked for about 5 minutes and I ejected again out of fear.

So the next step for me is turning an initiation into a pickup

Of course tommorow I have to deal with a very HB in math class who has been torturing me. But as my friends have said "just ask her out." I'm going to call her bluff and even if it isn't successful I won't have to worry about her anymore and can move on.

Thanks to everyone who has posted on this site and comments would be greatly appreciated!

What a great post bro! I can't help but chuckle at your situation because that's exactly how I used to be. Chicks would break their necks to look at me and I'd be thinking they were staring because I had a booger hanging out my nose or something. You're doing the right thing by starting slow. Just get your confidence up by talking to random hotties and you'll see that most are friendly and aren't going to escoriate you for talking to them. Keep us posted!

 

[aelux]

thx for the positive feedback brothers

I'm realizing this is a lifestyle change and not just a method for talking to chicks. Today I rolled out of bed, showered, skipped breakfast and headed to class looking and feeling subpar. As a result I got 0 AIs and some IODs for the first half of the day until math class when the teacher started giving me AIs :crackup: So tommorow I'll go for a run to get my emotion/endorphins up so I hit the day feeling and therefor looking my best.

While I was feeling subpar I had a chance to talk to the chick I talked to yesterday. Without realizing it I hit her with a DLV thinking it would make her more comfortable. WRONG. Instead I got the "oh..." and I can understand why. A girl wants to be talking to a guy who has his stuff together and *that* is what makes them feel better. In chick logic their confidence/emotion runs parallel to yours but previously I had thought it was the opposite... supplicating my behavior hoping to make the chick feel superior.

It's a complicated game but I'm realizing it is just that - a game where the goal is to max the BT of the HB you are trying to close. Good sex and maybe a relationship is what I'm looking for and both of these rest on BT. To increase BT I'm going to have to make some changes to myself that might take some time but I've already started by eating better, getting back into jiu jitsu, and improving my spiritual life. For awhile I didn't want to conform, retaining my slacker/stoner "whatever man, if its meant to happen itll happen" view. Now I realize what is meant to happen is me getting my ass in gear and starting to hit on women.

Thx again bros this site is truly a godsend

 

[squirrels]

See...they don't bite.

Unless they're really freaky.

 

[~attrACTION~]

c) the women I liked always seemed to just play games

I've ignored literally hundreds of AIs out of fear.

...Of course being the AFC that I am, I said "oh she's probably just randomly licking her lips and adjusting her posture." Nevermind that she might actually have thought I was attractive and wanted me to initiate conversation.

Also, coupled with that fear was a belief that if a woman reaaallly was attracted to me she would initiate conversation with me. FALSE. I was ignoring the biological wiring that tells women to be submissive and coax men into action. And, I've been ignoring my biological wiring that has been torturously commanding me to take action and initiate contact with HBs with or without AIs.

...I ejected again out of fear.

Dude, I have to say this is exactly how I've been feeling lately. Fear has paralyzed me these past few months. Missed opportunities have been making me so depressed. But actually, I've started to make some progress too, and pick myself back up from feeling down.

For the longest time, I also felt that if she is that interested, then why doesn't she come and talk to me? But I guess it wouldn't make sense. As a man, I should be approaching her. I've noticed that girls do a ton of different things to get your attention...and I've also noticed that if you start talking, she may jump right into your personal space and get right in your face.

I'm also at the stage where I'm trying to face that fear and take these opportunities.

When I'm somewhere and a girl is staring, twirling fingers in her hair, fixing her clothes, etc...I'll just say to myself...

This is the only time I'll have this opportunity. After this, I can't go back...if I don't go talk to her, I won't have a second chance for as long as I live, so I might as well give it a shot right now.

For me, that's worked. And also, I've just tried to be more sexual and let myself enjoy checking out girls wherever I go. Since they like being checked out, and because it makes me feel a lot more comfortable to approach when I'm comfortable with that.

Hey good luck, hope you can kick that fear to the curb. I'm trying my best too.

 

[aelux]

Dude, I have to say this is exactly how I've been feeling lately. Fear has paralyzed me these past few months. Missed opportunities have been making me so depressed. But actually, I've started to make some progress too, and pick myself back up from feeling down.

For the longest time, I also felt that if she is that interested, then why doesn't she come and talk to me? But I guess it wouldn't make sense. As a man, I should be approaching her. I've noticed that girls do a ton of different things to get your attention...and I've also noticed that if you start talking, she may jump right into your personal space and get right in your face.

I'm also at the stage where I'm trying to face that fear and take these opportunities.

When I'm somewhere and a girl is staring, twirling fingers in her hair, fixing her clothes, etc...I'll just say to myself...

This is the only time I'll have this opportunity. After this, I can't go back...if I don't go talk to her, I won't have a second chance for as long as I live, so I might as well give it a shot right now.

For me, that's worked. And also, I've just tried to be more sexual and let myself enjoy checking out girls wherever I go. Since they like being checked out, and because it makes me feel a lot more comfortable to approach when I'm comfortable with that.

Hey good luck, hope you can kick that fear to the curb. I'm trying my best too.

Right on brother, I'm taking the steps, 1 step at a time and day by day. One thing I've noticed is that crashing and burning actually builds confidence - yet another part of dealing with women that defies logic.

The other day I was walking down the stairs and noticed an woman, a bit older than me and very well put together waiting for the elevator when she saw me she gave me no AIs but *I* was in the mood. I stopped and said "I think your shoelace is untied." She looked confused looked the other way and looked at her shoes with no shoe laces... I got scared and said "sorry" and scampered away. As I walked away she said "don't freak me out" with that *****y kind of attitude.

BUT what a confidence builder for me! For all the times girls have ****ed with my head I tried to pick up a HB and I'm really not too worried that it went the wrong way. It was a reminder that even if they don't smile and realize that we're trying to enter a mutually beneficial interaction they still are people who aren't going to bite your head off if they get a little irritated.

Another thing, I walked into a sports store and the girl at the desk gave me a big smile and hello. Of course I thought "oh it's her job... if she really likes me we can talk when I make my purchase." WRONG. 3 second rule in effect. When I did make my purchase her attitude had totally changed and she was harder to talk to - although I did get the info that she was going as a lobster for halloween And her friend at the counter, a little substandard, was very chatty but I failed to capitalize.

Also, attraction, I hear ya with the depression - I've found the best cure is to go for a run, drink a protein shake, and read a random passage from the bible/other spiritual text.

My last time reading the bible I came upon a gem that read something like "and the king decreed that all men should take order of their households."

 

[Black Casanova]

But what a strange way to open... "Your shoelace is untied"... "milk does a body good"

If that's the best you can come up with you'd be 1000 times better off just asking what her name is

 

[Serialized3]

Just remember that these chicks want your bone man (especially college girls). Are you going to give it to them?

Damn, I can't wait to go back to college. It's like shooting fish in a barrel with a shotgun.

 

[Jon55]

At least I'm getting myself out there and making attempts. They say it helps if you don't beat yourself up after a missed opportunity, but it's so hard not to. How do you guys cope with a missed opportunity?

I used to have a big problem; I was a perfectionist. If I didn't do something right (when it came to girls) I told myself "sh!t" and did everything (even wussy things...this was before I found PUA stuff mind you) to make the situation at least "ok" so I could walk away from her feeling alright about myself.

When I finally started allowing rejection and just took it like a man (which was hard as hell at first) it really built me up. I went from a pebble to a boulder. I feel much stronger when a girl turns me down, and could care less.

It really does just come with time, and rejection. Just throw yourself out there and face fear. Once you see fear, tell it to go choke oh a bucket of d!cks.

 

[Fenderules]

yeah im starting to break out of my AFC faze. im a lot more open now when i see a hot chick. i let them know i got my eye on them.

 

[snowdog]

IOI's?
AFC?
AI?
AOD?
HB?
DLV?
BT of the HB?
PUA?


???....WTF does that all mean?

 

[snowdog]

Snowdog here's a link that I've been using when reading posts with all those acronyms

http://www.fastseduction.com/acronyms.shtml

If anyone knows of a better reference, let me know.

I'm not sure if Aelux was showing off or he really had the lingo down lol.

Haha that's crazy!

 

[Obsidian]

But what a strange way to open... "Your shoelace is untied"... "milk does a body good"

If that's the best you can come up with you'd be 1000 times better off just asking what her name is

Nah, random quircky/funny stuff is a pretty good opener. Then you just have to follow up on it a bit, and she'll usually want to introduce herself.

I'm with you on the abbreviations, snowdog...BT and DLV got me.

 

[Obsidian]

btw, aelux, I would advise you that this site is way better than fastseduction if you're looking for a relationship. They have some decent stuff over there, but it's all geared toward capitalizing on sluttiness fast. (also, imo, the patterns stuff sounds pretty hokey)

 

[danielzxc]

What a great post bro! I can't help but chuckle at your situation because that's exactly how I used to be. Chicks would break their necks to look at me and I'd be thinking they were staring because I had a booger hanging out my nose or something.

I used to "explain" it with "oh, this is just the direction they were looking in and I just happened to be in their line of sight" -- I didn't even allow that they could actually be looking at ME. (Argghhhhhhhhh, the bad old days!)

 

[Jack McCrack]

Dude you're right

I get tons of IOU's and PIS's it drives me nuts

Don't even get me started on the LFAQ's

 

[danielzxc]

Eating lunch at Subway with a friend, I saw a girl I wanted to approach. This friend of mine reads alot of PUA books and watches the seminars. I keep telling him we gotta sarge together but he never wants to. Anyways, I couldn't think of a way to approach this girl. My friend told me to throw one of my Lays potato chips at her. On the way out I tossed a chip and it landed on the floor like three feet away from her *sigh* so pathetic.

Lol, WTF?

Your friend reads the books and goes to the seminars and THIS is the best idea he can come up with?

(Seriously man, I'll never put down somebody for making the effort, but throwing chips at her? How old are you?)

 

[Jack McCrack]

i recommend the sunchips

they're more aerodynamic than the potato chips

 

[snowdog]

or rocks, they are heavy too so you can aim better