Ok is it me or is this how its supposed to work?

[Outofexile]

Ok 35 yr old male divorced a little over a year now after being married six years. Was a complete AFC during my divorce. I mean, they make doormats now with my initials on them in reference.

So after the divorce, I took some time off and worked on me. I shed 50 lbs and got back into the shape I used to be pre marriage. Saved some money, got a new wardrobe (losing 50lbs makes that necessary anyway), and basically rebuilt me.

I dated some pretty girls after a while but it seems that it has been one reoccurring complaint theme with them all...that I am too self absorbed. Not enough time with them. Not giving and caring enough. That I put too much into the gym and my son and my hobbies and not enough into the relationship.

So what is it? DJ principals is to love your passions and never let a woman take them away. Also to never change yourself for a woman. Ok did both of these but still went sour because I was too self absorbed and wouldnt change. I wouldnt bend over and kiss their asses and revolve my life around them. Im not crying grapes here because everything is a learning experience and it wasnt like they were keepers or I was in a position to want to keep anyone.

Just trying to figure out for future when it may count one day in the future. Is it that they were like three bad apples who I oddly got in a row or what?

 

[PEPE LE PIU]

I dated some pretty girls after a while but it seems that it has been one reoccurring complaint theme with them all...that I am too self absorbed. Not enough time with them. Not giving and caring enough. That I put too much into the gym and my son and my hobbies and not enough into the relationship.

Besides the complaints what else is there? Did they dump you? Did you dump them?

 

[SharpGame]

I'm still learning, but I'll give this a shot. No healthy woman should want you to stop living your life or to start putting them at the center of it. If you're living your life well, this is probably what attracted them to you in the first place. My guess is that their real complaint is that you don't include them enough in this great life you've created.

 

[Outofexile]

It was always a mutual thing. They would be like you are so self absorbed and dont do this or that and I would be like, well thats not me at this point in life...sorry. We agreed to disagree and cease seeing each other. No huge drama.