Oh My God Shes Pregnant

[kingwilliam]

I have been dating a girl for about 6 months.




She just informed me that she is pregnant.

She intends on having it. (Im a pro-lifer myself so abortion is not an option)

Anyway, I dont know what to do here.


I cant marry her. We would be destined for divorce. We argue quite a bit and she is MUCH more into me than I am her. (We argue over the fact that I dont tell her I love her) At the same time I dont want to come off as a POS for not being with her.

Dont get me wrong, I will do anything for the child...it is mine and I accept that and I accept everything that comes with it, but I am not going to be unhappy for the rest of my life with someone that I dont love.

I just dont know how to handle the situation. I cant just break up with her and tell her to call me when the baby's born.

please help

 

[ecko280]

Congratulation!!!

you don't have to be with her. Just be there for your child.

 

[Strelok]

Are you sure the kid is yours? don't sign anything in the hospital before being sure of it.

Maybe she lied to see your reaction,did I already said to dont sign anything in hospital cause those papers work in the court wheter the kid is yours or not?

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

You know what your doing when you have sex with a women without a condom.

 

[ChalengeGuyFan]

I have been dating a girl for about 6 months.




She just informed me that she is pregnant.

She intends on having it. (Im a pro-lifer myself so abortion is not an option)

Anyway, I dont know what to do here.


I cant marry her. We would be destined for divorce. We argue quite a bit and she is MUCH more into me than I am her. (We argue over the fact that I dont tell her I love her) At the same time I dont want to come off as a POS for not being with her.

Dont get me wrong, I will do anything for the child...it is mine and I accept that and I accept everything that comes with it, but I am not going to be unhappy for the rest of my life with someone that I dont love.

I just dont know how to handle the situation. I cant just break up with her and tell her to call me when the baby's born.

please help

unprotected sex, not being married, the possibility of having a child and being pro-life DON'T GO TOGETHER !

I pity that child who will possibly grow with mental problems because of a dysfunctional family.

Dumbasses!

 

[vatoloco]

Two words for you, my friend: Paternity Test.

 

[logic1]

Well, I would say you fell into a womans trap by way of pregnancy or claiming pregnancy.

Take some deep breaths and allow things to simmer. Take a little time to think things out. get your head clear. There might be the possibility of the "false alarm" routine just to grab your attention. Which I assume worked!!

Be calm and patient she will start blurting out what she expects in a week or 2. Go from there

Be back on a comment about the lesson learned and what to do.

Good luck

 

[Colossus]

You know what, rather than judge the guy and call him a dumbass, check yourself and know this could happen to any one of us here who has sex...condom or not. That's the risk that EVERYONE assumes if they have sex, whether they acknowledge it or not. Condoms are not bulletproof.

As to the OP, tough spot you're in man. Definitely DO NOT marry her--sounds like you have no intention of doing that anyway. This is a really personal decision and it's one thing to tell a guy do this or that, but far different when you're in his shoes. Personally I say let things sink in for a while...dont make any rash decisions and let things unfold a bit before you decide what to do. Best of luck.

 

[kingwilliam]

Thanks for calling me a dumbass :trouble:



I have every intention of taking care of the child....his/her life will not be dysfunctional nor will he/she have mental problems.


My life is good. I own a company, I do quite well. If the child is mine (which I am fairly certain it is) it will live a great life.

I think the life of a child would be much worse growing up with parents that dont get along and argue all the time versus the alternative.

 

[Blackmm]

My life is good. I own a company, I do quite well. If the child is mine (which I am fairly certain it is) it will live a great life.

Like the other guys are saying, get a paternity test before doing anything else. Women have a primal need for provision and security. Don't put it past her that she did this on purpose to guarantee herself and her child a meal ticket for the next 18 years.

 

[ChalengeGuyFan]

You know what, rather than judge the guy and call him a dumbass, check yourself and know this could happen to any one of us here who has sex...condom or not. That's the risk that EVERYONE assumes if they have sex, whether they acknowledge it or not. Condoms are not bulletproof.

Let me quote myself:

unprotected sex, not being married, the possibility of having a child and being pro-life DON'T GO TOGETHER !

I pity that child who will possibly grow with mental problems because of a dysfunctional family.

Dumbasses!

What says "IRRESPONSIBILITY" (to use a mild word this time) more than having unprotected sex with someone you're not married with (or don't plan to marry) if you are "pro life"?

Thanks for calling me a dumbass



I have every intention of taking care of the child....his/her life will not be dysfunctional nor will he/she have mental problems.


My life is good. I own a company, I do quite well. If the child is mine (which I am fairly certain it is) it will live a great life.

You are very welcome.
You think it's all gonna be simple and pink, but what will happen when you or the mother will get married and build proper families?
What will happen if you or her will have to move to another part of our vast world?
What will happen if, by some unexpected event, you and the mother will become like enemies?

I think the life of a child would be much worse growing up with parents that dont get along and argue all the time versus the alternative.

Yes, supposing that child already exists when the parents split up.
Otherwise it'd be better if that future child wouldn't come at all.


I have a female friend whose parents split; her father didn't abandon her, but ended up marrying someone else, having another child and moving to another place (a few hundreds of km apart).
She stayed with her mother, received/receives money from her father and saw/sees him for a total of 1 month/year (at most).
Guess what: she doesn't like this at all. AT ALL!


I bet you like to tout about being pro-life; well, because your mind is set on the possibility of tormenting a child (with possible repercussions over its entire life) you are as ANTI-LIFE as one can be.

That, or at the venerable age of 33 you have no idea what world you live in.

I'm sorry, but I can't sugar coat my thoughts.

 

[KarmaSutra]

1-800-45-MAURY

Use it. Live it. Watch the b!tch run off stage.

 

[kingwilliam]

Let me quote myself:


What says "IRRESPONSIBILITY" (to use a mild word this time) more than having unprotected sex with someone you're not married with (or don't plan to marry) if you are "pro life"?


You are very welcome.
You think it's all gonna be simple and pink, but what will happen when you or the mother will get married and build proper families?
What will happen if you or her will have to move to another part of our vast world?
What will happen if, by some unexpected event, you and the mother will become like enemies?


Yes, supposing that child already exists when the parents split up.
Otherwise it'd be better if that future child wouldn't come at all.


I have a female friend whose parents split; her father didn't abandon her, but ended up marrying someone else, having another child and moving to another place (a few hundreds of km apart).
She stayed with her mother, received/receives money from her father and saw/sees him for a total of 1 month/year (at most).
Guess what: she doesn't like this at all. AT ALL!


I bet you like to tout about being pro-life; well, because your mind is set on the possibility of tormenting a child (with possible repercussions over its entire life) you are as ANTI-LIFE as one can be.

That, or at the venerable age of 33 you have no idea what world you live in.

I'm sorry, but I can't sugar coat my thoughts.

I tell ya what bud, instead of coming at me with your negative attitude, why dont you go back in the 25 and under forum where you belong, son.

Thanks for playin

 

[Warrior74]

As the saying goes. What's fun is fun and what's done is done. No need to call you names. People get in this situation every day.

The main thing you need to do is remain calm. Get a grip on your emotions.

I suspected my ex girlfriend got pregnant on purpose. Our relationship was not going in a good direction. I had told her that I didn't want to get married ever. She knew where I stood. When she got pregnant, I told her the truth. I would always be there and take care of my child, and I always have.

We ended up living together and raising our daughter until she was 4 years old and then we split. It was practically for all intents and purposes like being married, the only difference was that it would have cost me a lot more money when we split up.

There will be pressure to get married. Accept that fact and decide what you want to do about it right now. Understand there will be consequences either way. If you don't marry her, she won't be happy about it. Her family won't be happy about it. Your family might not be happy about it. Eventually (and eventually may be months, or it may be years) the relationship will suffer.

lf you do marry her, understand what you are getting into legally and financially.

If you really don't see this relationship going forward and you are brave enough to take the consequences, end it now. Understand that you will be making a possible enemy who you are raising a child with. You will be attached to this woman and her decisions for the rest of your life regardless of what you choose.

If you decide that you love her and you want to settle down. Do that. It's no shame or defeat in that path either. Continue to be the man, lead your family and live your life.

My ex is infuriating sometimes, I hate being a weekend Dad. And I'm working my butt off so I can get custody of my daughter because I do not like her decisions. If you feel you want custody, start laying the ground work now.

Oh and before you sign a birth certificate, get a a paternity test. If you are really concerned over paternity, they can do a test in the womb but it's not advised as it can be slightly dangerous to the health of the mother and baby.

Good luck.

 

[Warrior74]

As the saying goes. What's fun is fun and what's done is done. No need to call you names. People get in this situation every day.

The main thing you need to do is remain calm. Get a grip on your emotions.

I suspected my ex girlfriend got pregnant on purpose. Our relationship was not going in a good direction. I had told her that I didn't want to get married ever. She knew where I stood. When she got pregnant, I told her the truth. I would always be there and take care of my child, and I always have.

We ended up living together and raising our daughter until she was 4 years old and then we split. It was practically for all intents and purposes like being married, the only difference was that it would have cost me a lot more money when we split up.

There will be pressure to get married. Accept that fact and decide what you want to do about it right now. Understand there will be consequences either way. If you don't marry her, she won't be happy about it. Her family won't be happy about it. Your family might not be happy about it. Eventually (and eventually may be months, or it may be years) the relationship will suffer.

lf you do marry her, understand what you are getting into legally and financially.

If you really don't see this relationship going forward and you are brave enough to take the consequences, end it now. Understand that you will be making a possible enemy who you are raising a child with. You will be attached to this woman and her decisions for the rest of your life regardless of what you choose.

If you decide that you love her and you want to settle down. Do that. It's no shame or defeat in that path either. Continue to be the man, lead your family and live your life.

My ex is infuriating sometimes, I hate being a weekend Dad. And I'm working my butt off so I can get custody of my daughter because I do not like her decisions. If you feel you want custody, start laying the ground work now.

Oh and before you sign a birth certificate, get a a paternity test. If you are really concerned over paternity, they can do a test in the womb but it's not advised as it can be slightly dangerous to the health of the mother and baby.

Good luck.

 

[ChalengeGuyFan]

I tell ya what bud, instead of coming at me with your negative attitude, why dont you go back in the 25 and under forum where you belong, son.

Thanks for playin

I'd have a negative attitude if I told you that your business will fail because of <reason>, or if I told you that you can't improve with women because of <another reason>.

I presented you some real facts that have happened in real life and that could happen to you (and most importantly to your child), too.


Rereading my own posts, I admit that my attitude was unnecessary, but I don't regret it, because I still believe that no reasonable human being should be "pro-life" no matter what.

And "age"? Please! That's a counterargument?

 

[kingwilliam]

I'd have a negative attitude if I told you that your business will fail because of <reason>, or if I told you that you can't improve with women because of <another reason>.

I presented you some real facts that have happened in real life and that could happen to you (and most importantly to your child), too.


Rereading my own posts, I admit that my attitude was unnecessary, but I don't regret it, because I still believe that no reasonable human being should be "pro-life" no matter what.

And "age"? Please! That's a counterargument?

"no reasonable human being should be "pro-life" no matter what?"

That says it all, I refuse to bring that debate into this forum.



Warrior74- thanks for the post, thats the kind of real life experience and advice I am looking for.

 

[Wubbman]

I can't believe that no one's brought it up yet, but you could always put the baby up for adoption. There are so many couples out there that want children but can't concieve. Why not give the baby to one of them since you obviously don't want it?

 

[Julius_Seizeher]

That's the most constructive post, wubbman.

OP will have to come up with a powerful sales pitch, he'll have to show her that while people who have abortions are often called selfish, it is far more selfish to keep a child that you cannot give a good life to. He'll show her that the "selfless and moral" thing to do is to find a good home for this child.

Godspeed

 

[f283000]

You guys really need to stop attacking OP. We all know that men will do anything for some pu$$y. We'll take them to the back of the car risking getting caught and losing our decency in the process, parents house and risk getting caught by parents when we're younger, we'll drive for hours, we'll wait for hours, we'll do things in the moment with a woman that you said you would never do.

When things get hot the last thing on your mind is the condom. The first thing on your mind is sticking it in!

Let's stop acting like we never made a mistake. If you met a hb 9 and she told you to f*** her raw you would throw that condom away like if it's toxic waste. Don't lie and say this isn't true. Rare is the man that would turn down free sex with a hot woman.

I'm willing to bet most here have had secks without a condom they just didn't get a random sloot pregnant.