We had just finished having sex when she said … “I don’t think we should go on.” “I think we are at different points in our life and I want what you can’t give me” she said. “I have this feeling inside that I want another child” she said. “I know it is unlikely, but I at least want that hope.” “You asked me what I see for myself in the next five years and I see myself married, not working, and having a family.”
She is thirty-six years old and has one child, whom she through in vitro. It is extremely unlikely that she will get pregnant naturally due to reproductive issues. Her husband had divorced her four years earlier. She is an attractive woman with a nice body, intelligent and a good personality. We dated for ten months.
I am forty and was seriously considering her for marriage. I have also had a vasectomy.
“I can’t help what I feel” she said. “When we first started seeing each other, I was fine with having no more children, but that feeling has come back and is strong.” “The irony is that you are the only man I desire.”
The previous night everything was great. We had sex before bed. In the morning we had sex again. She has never withheld from me.
“Did you know you were going to do this last night?” I asked. “No.”
“This is what you want?” “I have these emotions…” she started, and with that I left.
After work I went to her house to get my things. She grabbed hold of my arm and tried to pull me to her. “Just one hug” she said, “as friends.” It was the word I had been waiting for. “We’re not friends” I said calmly, “and you’re not mine to comfort and I’m not yours to get comfort from.” “You’re not mine, right?” “We’re just not clicking” she said. “You can’t meet my needs.” I left without another word.
My sixty day no-contact rule is in place. This is day two.
This has been the oddest breakup I have ever heard of. We had just gone on vacation with our kids the week before. Everything was great. Last Friday she sent me this message, “To An Amazing Man ... I love you, you are so deep in my heart. Let me be clear -- loving you is a pleasure and joy. Sometimes it is easier to love you than me. My own scars and pain cloud my perspective of me. You are a spectacular soul, a sexy man in any way I can think of, and I treasure everything we have and share. With all my love, Your -----”
She sent me this message Tuesday, “Good Morning Dearest, It strikes me just how much passion we share and how intense this attraction is. We are mirrors one unto the other, and in some respects that also unnerves me. I really didn’t want to have to come back to reality. What we shared last week was not perfect, but it was more or less the sort of life I had always wanted when I envisioned having a family.”
Wednesday she stated that she wanted to break up. I don’t get it. I have to add though that she was in the opening stages of ovulation and her brother’s wife just had a baby. I believe I’m a good mix of alpha and beta. I’m fit and attractive. I track her cycle and act accordingly. Sex was frequent, at least 4-5 times per week and has been that way since the start. I **** her good and she likes it. There was no pulling away, no withholding of sex, no indication that there is another man in the picture. What gives? Ideas?
She is thirty-six years old and has one child, whom she through in vitro. It is extremely unlikely that she will get pregnant naturally due to reproductive issues. Her husband had divorced her four years earlier. She is an attractive woman with a nice body, intelligent and a good personality. We dated for ten months.
I am forty and was seriously considering her for marriage. I have also had a vasectomy.
“I can’t help what I feel” she said. “When we first started seeing each other, I was fine with having no more children, but that feeling has come back and is strong.” “The irony is that you are the only man I desire.”
The previous night everything was great. We had sex before bed. In the morning we had sex again. She has never withheld from me.
“Did you know you were going to do this last night?” I asked. “No.”
“This is what you want?” “I have these emotions…” she started, and with that I left.
After work I went to her house to get my things. She grabbed hold of my arm and tried to pull me to her. “Just one hug” she said, “as friends.” It was the word I had been waiting for. “We’re not friends” I said calmly, “and you’re not mine to comfort and I’m not yours to get comfort from.” “You’re not mine, right?” “We’re just not clicking” she said. “You can’t meet my needs.” I left without another word.
My sixty day no-contact rule is in place. This is day two.
This has been the oddest breakup I have ever heard of. We had just gone on vacation with our kids the week before. Everything was great. Last Friday she sent me this message, “To An Amazing Man ... I love you, you are so deep in my heart. Let me be clear -- loving you is a pleasure and joy. Sometimes it is easier to love you than me. My own scars and pain cloud my perspective of me. You are a spectacular soul, a sexy man in any way I can think of, and I treasure everything we have and share. With all my love, Your -----”
She sent me this message Tuesday, “Good Morning Dearest, It strikes me just how much passion we share and how intense this attraction is. We are mirrors one unto the other, and in some respects that also unnerves me. I really didn’t want to have to come back to reality. What we shared last week was not perfect, but it was more or less the sort of life I had always wanted when I envisioned having a family.”
Wednesday she stated that she wanted to break up. I don’t get it. I have to add though that she was in the opening stages of ovulation and her brother’s wife just had a baby. I believe I’m a good mix of alpha and beta. I’m fit and attractive. I track her cycle and act accordingly. Sex was frequent, at least 4-5 times per week and has been that way since the start. I **** her good and she likes it. There was no pulling away, no withholding of sex, no indication that there is another man in the picture. What gives? Ideas?
