Obvious signs of BPD?

[st_99]

Whats the mom and dad story? Is dad around? an alcoholic? died at young age?

This usually explains a lot from what i can gather.

 

[5string]

I have said it before. Can't swing a dead cat around on this forum without hittin' a guy who's run into a BPD.

Danger is right though. Impossible to tell. We are not clinicians. Speculators at best.

Search SS for "The Official Boderline Personality Thread". Might provide some insight.

 

[TheSomberlain]

That sounds less like BPD and more like 23. Mind you, she might still be a flake, and she might not be the best person to trust, but it's more likely to be an age thing than a mental disorder.

Here are other signs she has BPD:

-She wants to have really rough sex with you to the point at which you're beating her. If you don't punch/strangle/throw her hard enough against the wall, she calls you a *****. Then the next morning, she accuses you of rape.

-She hates her father. She loves her father. You're such a better man than he was. You'll never be as much of a man as he was. And when she spontaneously starts calling you 'Daddy' while having sex, she'll break down crying.

-You wake up in the middle of the night to her punching you. After you physically restrain her, you ask her what the hell she's doing. She tells you she's mad at you because she had a dream that you cheated on her, and she won't let you get away with it.

-She's a perfect 10 in bed...and a -86 in sanity.

That sounds more like HPD.

 

[Deleted member 109925]

As I've grown older and more precise about my expectations, I completely agree with the above advice/experiences:

1) Follow your gut - it will counter your lust in these cases.
2) Pay attention to the father relationship.
3) Pay close attention to how they respect boundaries.
4) Pay attention if they start arguments for no reason. It will dawn on you that their version of drama is more than just a simple **** test.
5) Have the COURAGE to walk away - they will ruin you and you can't fix them.

P.S. There are some informative cartoon scenarios on YouTube. Search for "narcissistic women". The NPD materials apply just as well to BPD women.

 

[5string]

I'm gonna give the OP the best advice he can get right fvckin now.

To answer your question, the first thing to look for is everything is perfect, and could not be better. The convo, the sex, the fun, etc.

When it seems to be too good to be true, that's your red flag right there!

Give it time. Be ever watchful. Don't get emotionally involved. They will always reveal their true selves to you in a few months. Assuming it's there, BPD will surface if given enough time.

 

[Deleted member 109925]

CAUTION! Here's what the end game looks like. This is taken from a survivors of BPDs board. All of the too-good-to-be-true elements are here. And, so is the mess that's left behind. Poor guy.:


"In a lot of ways I feel like I have been in a downward spiral over the last 2-6 months. I really have not been taking care of myself, but this weekend I really hit rock bottom. In my 27 years, I have never once smoked a cigarette. The thought never appealed to me in the slightest. I don't do drugs. And I have been doing my best to not talk to the ex and had been making progress.

But Friday night I just felt like I had nothing left. I feel like I gave my heart completely to this girl. I even foolishly spelled out to her that I could deal with her making out with other guys.... getting drunk... telling me my feelings are not important. I could forgive her for nearly anything. But stupidly told her in her therapist's office that the one thing that would completely destroy me is her sleeping with someone else. So she of course did exactly that just a few days later... with some guy who doesn't care at all about her.

Now I feel completely worthless.... like I can't even go on. I went out Friday, drank too much, smoked cigarettes, did drugs, stayed out all night, called my ex in the morning and then spent the entire weekend in bed... completely sick and depressed.

Today I felt terrible. I feel alone. I feel like there is nothing that makes me happy anymore. I cried in bed, on the floor, in my shower. I feel like I have nothing left in my heart after she drained me. I feel crazy... like I have BPD.... like I am out of control. I miss the girl who used to adore me.... when I could do no wrong... and when she only could imagine being with me (or so I believed).... when every minute we spent in bed was magical.

This is rock bottom for me.... absolute rock bottom. Tonight I am making a conscious decision to myself to no longer dwell on the past... to mourn what was lost or may have never been and move on.... and to take care of myself. The only control she has is what I have given her. All I need to do to have control over my life, my happiness, and my destiny is to simply realize that I DO have that control, to not give it to her ever again, and to make every day a little better than the last."

 

[WTID]

I'm thinking I've met one of these.

Had sex on 2nd date, she message me constantly, is saying things like I always make her laugh when I have not really said anything funny.
Lots of sex talk about what she wants to do to me.

Parent issues her mother seems jealous of her daughters relationship with her father.

Her Father had a stroke and the message I got was 'I'm at the hospital tell me something funny'
Now maybe it's just how she wanted to deal with it get something to take her mind off it.

Now her Uncle died and on the same day she sends me pics of herself in underwear.

I want to enjoy the fun without getting attached ,so I'm not offering her advice or trying to fix her or be her white Knight which I know I should never do .

Advice welcome

 

[dutchmaster]

Okay, well the girl im suspicious of:

-> is really sweet
-> a virgin
-> will/has spend money on me
-> hasn't shown hate or anger towards me ever
-> wants to be exclusive with me
-> not suicidal (like some bpds)

However she:

-> approached me about getting in a relationship, but when i take things to the next level, she sometimes pulls away.
-> has trust issues
-> claims she's still finding herself at 23
-> besides the trust issue thing, says she is seeking a serious relationship
-> does drink, but without getting drunk...

The biggest thing that scares me is when she admitted that most of her past relationships failed due to her becoming sometimes randomly distant.

Does it sound like a BPD, or a chick with major trust issues?

Doesn't sound like BPD exactly, but she does sound like a pretty serious nut job

my verdict: take that V and split

 

[49au]

Psychology is a soft science.

There is still tremendous debate about personality disorders - histrionic, borderline, antisocial, and narcissistic personalities have many similarities and can be difficult to distinguish.

Rather than looking for a specific personality disorder, look for the signs of a fragile and weakened ego that seeks to engulf you or be "perfect" so you will not abandon them. Then you can detect a wide range of unhealthy women with ease.

 

[WTID]

I'm thinking I've met one of these.

Had sex on 2nd date, she message me constantly, is saying things like I always make her laugh when I have not really said anything funny.
Lots of sex talk about what she wants to do to me.

Parent issues her mother seems jealous of her daughters relationship with her father.

Her Father had a stroke and the message I got was 'I'm at the hospital tell me something funny'
Now maybe it's just how she wanted to deal with it get something to take her mind off it.

Now her Uncle died and on the same day she sends me pics of herself in underwear.

I want to enjoy the fun without getting attached ,so I'm not offering her advice or trying to fix her or be her white Knight which I know I should never do .

Advice welcome

So she asked me to phone her while I'm working nights tonight.To which I replied I will be busy until 2am, she said she doesn't mind being woken

 

[5string]

So she asked me to phone her while I'm working nights tonight.To which I replied I will be busy until 2am, she said she doesn't mind being woken

Don't go there brother, unless you truly know what you are dealing with.

Like someone said.....BPD's are like 117 stealth fighters. You never know they are coming until it's too late.

Take it to heart.

 

[5string]

I particularly like your analogies.


My favorite so far is "you can't swing a dead cat around this forum without hitting someone affected by a BPD".

Brother Danger

If you were'nt taken, I'd hit on you!

 

[WTID]

Don't go there brother, unless you truly know what you are dealing with.

Like someone said.....BPD's are like 117 stealth fighters. You never know they are coming until it's too late.

Take it to heart.

So is that one a red flag what about the other things I have posted about her

 

[Bible_Belt]

Obvious signs of BPD?

My bpd girl asked me to marry her tonight. Her ex who killed another guy in a fight over her, but is out of jail now, was visiting her at her parent's house this weekend. He got a dui last night. Her other ex was also at her house today, in violation of a no-contact order for beating her up; the cops came, but he ran away first. The murderer ex also went to jail for beating her up, but now swears his undying love, calls and texts her constantly, and cries when she screams at him for being codependent.

If a woman's life sounds like that, she probably has bpd.

 

[5string]

Obvious signs of BPD?

My bpd girl asked me to marry her tonight. Her ex who killed another guy in a fight over her, but is out of jail now, was visiting her at her parent's house this weekend. He got a dui last night. Her other ex was also at her house today, in violation of a no-contact order for beating her up; the cops came, but he ran away first. The murderer ex also went to jail for beating her up, but now swears his undying love, calls and texts her constantly, and cries when she screams at him for being codependent.

If a woman's life sounds like that, she probably has bpd.

Bible

WTF are you doing with a chick like you have desribed? Just the poon?

Better get a permit and a Colt .45

 

[Bible_Belt]

best...poon...ever.

I actually have a .45, but live in the only state in the US that does not allow concealed carry.

 

[5string]

best...poon...ever.

I actually have a .45, but live in the only state in the US that does not allow concealed carry.

:crackup: IL huh?

Best poon ever? Kudos. No complaint from me brother. Tear it up.

 

[soulforge]

my current ex...

mother was an alcoholic.. and a crazy foul mouthed bi@tch

father died at an early age

she didn't have a father figure... so she always dated guys such as door men, bodybuilders alpha types... probably a daddy thing

overly high interest level at the bigening of the relationship, marriage, kids, etc

sometimes hot.. sometimes cold...

she would push you away... and then reel you back in

narcassitic traits, lack of empathy, guilt dodger, never admits any wrong doing

obsessed with her looks & her body

very seductive & amazing sex.... also used as a form of control

sometimes i was the greatest guy in the world & then the worst boyfriend in the world...

my gut was screaming at me... ignore the lust... just get the f@ck out, while you can

 

[5string]

my current ex...

mother was an alcoholic.. and a crazy foul mouthed bi@tch

father died at an early age

she didn't have a father figure... so she always dated guys such as door men, bodybuilders alpha types... probably a daddy thing

overly high interest level at the bigening of the relationship, marriage, kids, etc

sometimes hot.. sometimes cold...

she would push you away... and then reel you back in

narcassitic traits, lack of empathy, guilt dodger, never admits any wrong doing

obsessed with her looks & her body

very seductive & amazing sex.... also used as a form of control

sometimes i was the greatest guy in the world & then the worst boyfriend in the world...

my gut was screaming at me... ignore the lust... just get the f@ck out, while you can

You lived, learned and survived. Not everyone does.

My favorite saying is that, you can't swing a dead cat around on this forum without hitting someone who has been affected by a BPD!

Danger loves that line. :crazy: