Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

Objective: The War Over Valentine's Day!

Victory Unlimited

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 3, 2005
Messages
1,364
Reaction score
324
Location
On the Frontlines
Original post located here: http://victoryunlimitedshow.com/general/audio-intel-report-the-war-over-valentines-day/



The War Over Valentine's Day: What’s in it for Men?




Today is the BIG day.

Everywhere you go, all the advertising slogans that you’ve been hearing…all the “say it with flowers” commercials you’ve been seeing…and all the hints that many of our dates, girlfriends, and wives have been throwing out at us culminate in ONE event.

Valentine’s Day.

That’s right. Madison Avenue’s campaign to get men all over the world to express their affection for the women in their lives by “saying it with jewelry” has all been for today. For many men, Valentine’s Day might as well be the same as Election Day.

Why?

Because in the eyes of most of the women you know and in the eyes of society at large---you’ve been “elected” to show the lady in your life that she’s also the love of your life. What’s more, you’re also “obligated” to display how you feel about her to EVERYONE she knows. Valentine’s Day, more than any of the other holidays---even Christmas, Mother’s Day, or her birthday, is “the” holiday that shows men’s appreciation for women---and very publicly at that. And woe be it unto any man who dares question his need to observe it…

However, this year, more so than in any other, there’s been a backlash by a lot of men against this holiday. Some have been very vocal about their opposition to the pressure that they say they feel over having to perform on this day of the celebration of all things romance. And the reason that they are in rebellion is simply because they feel that Valentine’s Day really is not a celebration of “all things romance”, but rather, just a celebration of only one side of the romantic equation:

The Woman’s.

You needn’t look far to see evidence of just how out of hand this backlash against Valentine’s Day has gotten.

My Intel tells me that there are reports of men dumping their girlfriends right before the day arrives---to avoid feeling like they have to honor it.There are reports of chronically unfaithful men exploiting some of their women’s desperate need for validation by enticing them to forgive the unforgivable---just by putting a few “extras” on their Valentine’s Day gift. And the latest report I’ve received was that there are some men who have chosen to boycott Valentine’s Day altogether.

No matter where you stand on this holiday, there’s no way of getting around the fact that there’s a definite disconnect between how some men now view it. For them, it’s become a battle of wills, whims, and ideals. Rather than a day of Hearts and Flowers it’s become more like a choice between Guns and Roses.

But is avoiding this day, boycotting this day, or manipulating this day to your own ends REALLY the best way to deal with the perceived inequities that Valentine’s Day represents in the minds of a lot of men? Well, that’s a question that every man must answer for himself.

Here, at headquarters, we’re not interested in fighting in any war over Valentine’s Day. We’re more interested in fighting through the facade to expose what this disagreement between men and women is really about. What this seems to be about to the Valentine’s Day Haters is what they consider to be a lack of reciprocity.

In other words, the opposition can usually be boiled down to just one question:

What’s in it for men?

Sex, maybe?

Well, most men who are already in healthy exclusive relationships or marriages enjoy sex regularly with the women in their lives anyway. Or, for those who aren’t in healthy relationships or marriages…for those who don’t get sex “on the regular”, well, they tend to get it by cleverly slipping an item of lingerie into their lady’s Valentine’s Day “goodie bag” as a not-so subtle enticement.

But the bottom line is that whether it’s by trick or treat, all most guys get out of the deal is sex. That’s right. No matter how much money men spend, no matter how big the romantic hoops men jump through, and no matter how big, bold, and public the declaration of love they make---their reward is always the same.

Yes, SEX…and sometimes, they even have to be lucky to get it. However, is this really a fair, equitable, or even a satisfying exchange between couples that already enjoy a multifaceted relationship all the rest of the 364 days of the year?

That is the question…and each and every couple should answer it as truthfully as possible.

My Intel tells me that letting this question remain unanswered is a major cause of the blowback that comes from those men who take issue with the observance of this holiday. In my estimation, most men’s time would be better served by just letting the “worthy women” in their lives simply have this day for themselves.

That’s right. As manufactured and commercialized a day that it may be, he probably should just let her have it. Again, this is if she’s a lady in his life that’s worthy of receiving this kind of honor (in whatever creative ways he chooses to show it). But I would only sign off on this Relationship Peace Treaty under one condition:


SHE must also pick a day to recognize, honor, and PUBLICLY celebrate the man in her life---just as HE has chosen to do so for her.

I know…I know. A RADICAL idea isn’t it?


But “what if” the day after Valentine’s Day (February 15th) was annually observed by millions of women, and called something like “My Great Guy Day”?

“What if” guys received the same quality of gifts at work from their girlfriends or wives that THEY routinely give?

“What if” women were bombarded by Radio, Internet, and Television ads for a month and a half straight, prior to “My Great Guy Day”?

“What if” guys had great expectations of what gifts their girls would give to them on “My Great Guy Day” like women have for guys on Valentine’s Day?

The answer, of course, is…”who knows”...

Furthermore, long after you’ve read this post and had a little time to really think it over, ask yourself this:

Is it really REALISTIC that most women would ever adopt, adapt to, or observe such a radical idea as “My Great Guy Day” for showing their appreciation for the men in their lives?

The answer once again is…”who knows”…

But think of it this way:

Even if just SOME of them did…wouldn’t it be great to see just what kind of effect something like that would have on men’s views on Valentine’s Day and women’s views on the nature of romantic relationships in general?

Who knows…


~Victory Unlimited


 

slikkmeister

Don Juan
Joined
Jul 3, 2013
Messages
59
Reaction score
3
HAHA the steakandbj thing is awesome... Texted it to my bro and he showed to his wife and she said deal....lol
 

SecondHalf

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 25, 2011
Messages
658
Reaction score
23
Location
North America
Warrior74 said:
That's hilarious, will read this site later.

However, regarding Valentines day ... bring it on!
It's great for my business!

Regarding the unbalance of it ... why would a man be with someone like that anyway.
It's just as much of an opportunity to for Women to reach out as men? If you have an over entitled bimbo who thinks this is a unilateral exchange and you have to comply or risk rejection, then you best look for a new woman ... and maybe yourself.

I've always been given something on this day (although never roses). Today I received a gift worth more than what I spent.

And I'll get the steak & BJ.

The statistics are profound I must admit though.
http://www.statisticbrain.com/valentines-day-statistics/

SH
 

Peaks&Valleys

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 11, 2013
Messages
1,968
Reaction score
349
Tl;dr
 

Victory Unlimited

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 3, 2005
Messages
1,364
Reaction score
324
Location
On the Frontlines
SecondHalf said:
Regarding the unbalance of it ... why would a man be with someone like that anyway.
It's just as much of an opportunity to for Women to reach out as men? If you have an over entitled bimbo who thinks this is a unilateral exchange and you have to comply or risk rejection, then you best look for a new woman ... and maybe yourself.

I've always been given something on this day (although never roses). Today I received a gift worth more than what I spent.

And I'll get the steak & BJ.

The statistics are profound I must admit though.
http://www.statisticbrain.com/valentines-day-statistics/

SH

Hey SecondHalf,

Congratulations! My guess is that you're in the smaller percentile of men who actually experience real reciprocity on Valentine's Day.

I think a lot of guys stay in one-sided relationships because they were too blinded by the pursuit of the pusssy in the beginning. AND---if some women are "over-entitled bimbos", it's because too many men WITHOUT enough forethought have willingly chosen to "sign" that title and give it to them.

Here's what I mean:

In the beginning, before they got the girl, they probably didn't really think in terms of balancing their approach, measuring how much they were putting INTO the girl versus how much they were getting FROM her, etc.

And then, once they've set that hungry, thirsty, and "it's all about HER" precedent---they find it difficult to readjust their tactics and strategies to a much more suitable and realistic standard. BUT---because they've already set the terms that "SEX" is their accepted form of payment for EVERYTHING that they do for their girlfriends---they get hopelessly stuck in that mode from that point on.

Here's the typical average "relationship" guy's Valentine's Day strategy:
  • Do for her, act towards her, or get her whatever she wants in order to make her happy.
  • Then, if I'm "lucky"---I might get more, better, or maybe an "extra-special" sexual treat from her return.
THIS is how the Valentine's Day imbalance presents itself and repeats itself year after year. Like Pavlov's experiment with the dogs---both men and women keep responding to the sound of the same bells that they rang at the start of their relationship---to get it going.

And as we all know, there's no way to UNRING a bell.

Here's a case in point:

just the other day, I asked a friend of mine what he and his wife had planned for today in terms of "celebration". He went on to describe all the things he "had" to do, all the things that his wife "expected", and how much he'd have to "hear it" if he didn't follow through.

What was interesting to me was that he never once mentioned ANYTHING that she was going to be doing to honor him and his commitment to HER. Then I asked him pointblank:

Hey, what do you think your wife's got planned for YOU, bro'?


He just turned and looked at me with a look on his face like NOBODY had ever even asked him that question before. It's like he never even considered that today could be used as a good day to "show the love" both ways. Lol...

I found that to be sad---but also far too typical. A lot of guys I talk to just write off this day as part of paying their "Boyfriend Tax" or "Husband Tax", etc. They think of it as something that they HAVE to do---not something that they WANT to do. Which SHOULD be off-putting to many women (but somehow, for a variety of reasons, it's strangely not...)

My main point is that I just wished more of us men thought MORE of ourselves---and respected OUR value in relationships more.

Because as the legendary Al Green sings: Love is a Beautiful Thing

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XTdE3_rm0jY

And I'm ALWAYS pleased and hopeful whenever I hear about two people in a relationship both GLADLY and ENTHUSIASTICALLY upholding their ends of it.

From my vantage point, anything LESS than that is not a real relationship---it's just an "arrangement".


V.U.
 

Scaramouche

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 27, 2008
Messages
3,781
Reaction score
973
Age
80
Location
Australia
Dear Victory,
Valentines has been around for a long time...I find its celebration useful,in that it is only sociably acceptable, to contact acquaintances,on this day,their Birthday and Christmas....
I find cards very effective at breaking the ice,in acceptably establishing your interest in someone...A tasteful Card,a witty handwritten message and a personally crafted Envelope costs what? a lousy Dollar...
 

glass half full

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 2, 2012
Messages
909
Reaction score
296
I'm glad these experiences with Valentine's Day happen to other guys too. Though it was just me...
It went from getting a steak dinner cooked for me, and real good sex, to me buying her an expensive holiday gift (flowers, etc) and it was a forgotten gift, seeing it rest where I pit it in our bedroom after she left it where I presented it to her a month earlier.

Or the "competition" I was in, when her "friends" at work who were publicly telling her she could "do better than me" after ten years of marriage, they all had their guys sending flowers to work. In "the game" I bettered them by having a Vermont Teddy Bear sent to her at work (read-"expensive"). It got it's leg broken by a jealous beeyatch troublemaker before the day was done. Fvck valentines day its such a bunch of bs these days.
 

Alvafe

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 26, 2012
Messages
3,369
Reaction score
1,572
Age
40
one thing I find funny is here where I live the valentine day was never celebrated, only on this last years the comerce tryes to push guys to buy things.
but we normally celebrate it during june, and both the BF and the GF buy presents for each other, some couple take this day as to give a present for the couple (something they both would use together), but that open to each couple, I did know some tehy just go out and go to some place they normally won't go together.

but I never really though your guys side of the day was just for guy buying the girl present and not getting anything back.
 

Epimanes

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 15, 2012
Messages
1,276
Reaction score
615
Age
46
My wife and I dislike "hallmark" holidays. For valentines my wife asked me to NOT get her stupid flowers that just die and to NOT get her any chocolates that just make her fat. Instead she said to me "let's just go out on another day to our favorite resturant when it won't be so busy and leave the kids at home".

Similar things are discussed for other "holidays"

Epi
 

kintsugi

Don Juan
Joined
Feb 18, 2014
Messages
19
Reaction score
2
Location
UK
Growing up the standard on V day was to give an unsigned card - a little bit of fun and mystery (but not really that mysterious if you are in a relationship, but you could send two etc to throw some fun around).

Now I've noticed the change you describe, possibly as a result of dating younger women. I've had girls say 'I expect you to buy me flowers'. I don't do well with demands, so didn't buy them and all hell broke loose!

I don't know if you can de-escalate the entitlement on V day (un-ring that bell). But you can just do what you feel is right - a card and maybe flowers is nice, doesn't break the bank and can be fun if you make the card.

I agree, it's not a reciprical day anymore - but you can still enjoy it within boundaries that you control.
K
 

evan12

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 2, 2012
Messages
1,400
Reaction score
329
OP:Although I agree with you in concept, but I noticed when women give a gift they really care a lot to be impressing for that person,also they use they maximum ability to get that gift. So I think women think if a man really love them he will get the best gift he could offer otherwise he really does not love them . that is why women ask about the value of the gifts always because they want to compare it with your real ability .
 
Top