Now What?

[Yookiwooki]

Yesterday I spent the New Years in the very best way. I had my first kiss with a beautiful girl. As far as first kisses go, this was pretty extreme; we made out on her bed for over 20 minutes.

I have been dating this girl for under a week, so even for experienced DJ's it seems im going a little fast.

I should be feeling great right now, I just stopped short of second base for the first time with a really hot girl... but for some reason I'm feeling troubled, confused, and guilty. Even while I was with her I felt uneasy.

Part of the problem was that I had rubbed one off earlier that day. I didnt know I would be visiting her until after I was done, so I was low on testosterone when I saw her.

Another problem is that I lied to my parents, sister, and friends about where I was going so I could see her when her parents were gone. While I was making out with her all I could think of was how many ways I could get in trouble. I probably would have been given permission to see her anyways, but for some reason I'm still very shy about my relationship with her. And I feel horrible about lying to my friend about why I was late to his party.

Now, the day after, I feel awkward about calling/texting/IMing her. I'm not sure if she really liked it, or if she thinks I'm a creep. I have no idea what to say to her. Tomorrow school starts and I'll see her there, but I dont know what to do then. For some reason Im not able to commit myself to openly saying that I'm in a serious relationship with her.

I dont know whats wrong with me; I should be feeling amazing; my relationship with this girl shouldnt be awkward anymore; I should feel comfortable about calling her my girlfriend... but for some reason I wont.

 

[The Forms]

Making out for twenty minutes with a girl you've been seeing for a week isn't going too fast. Especially if you and this girl are in a relationship. It's not uncommon to end up making out with a girl for twenty minutes by the end of the first date. A week in for the first kiss is definately not too fast. Relax, it's no big deal.

I wouldn't worry about lying to people about where you were. I doubt any of them would really get mad about it (it might freak your parents out a bit to know you were kissing a girl, because it seems like they probably aren't used to you doing that, but there's nothing wrong with it). It would be different if you were lying because you were doing something wrong, but you only lied because you are shy. I'm sure your buddy would high five you if you told him the real reason why you were late. Don't sweat it man.

I'm confused, why would she think you're a creep? Are you and this girl in a relationship or not? You say that you are, but then you act like you think she'd be mad at you for kissing her? Did she SEEM mad about it?

Always call the day after you hook up with a girl (to any degree). You don't have to have anything special planned out to say. Just call up and chat for 5 or 10 minutes. Girls want you to call them the day after you hook up just to acknowledge that you are aware they still exist. If you don't call she might feel ignored. Or she might think maybe you didn't have a good time, or she did something wrong, and you don't like her anymore. "Did I use too much tongue? Oh god, what if he thinks I'm a slut now? Maybe he was only kissing me to be nice. He probably doesn't even like me at all. OK, he hasn't called yet. He definately doesn't want to see me anymore."

Yea, I know. Girls are silly. They freak out about this type of thing. Reading too much into nothing. But still, if you call up and have a normal pleasant conversation it puts her mind at ease. A simple, "hey, I had a really great time last night," is all you need to say about you kissing. She just needs that validation. She doesn't have to worry anymore. If you don't call she might feel like you don't like her anymore.

 

[Yookiwooki]

Thanks Forms,

I should definetely call her... before I left she asked me to. If I really think about it, just by the fact that she asked me to keep in touch after we were done kinda rules out the whole creep thing.

I was just worried because my performance was clumsy at best as far as the making out goes. It really wasn't what I expected it to be like, but I'm sure she enjoyed it at least as much as I did.

You know what? I'm really reading too much into this... what I'm doing to myself here is what girls usually do haha. If I keep taking things like this so seriously im gonna go crazy. I cant believe it, but I just realized what was wrong with me -- I was afraid of my own testosterone.

 

[Yookiwooki]

I called her just now...

Wow that was easy, and now I'm sure I dont creep her out.

 

[SinJester]

If you creeped her out she wouldn't have kept going for 20 minutes... and you are going out right?

Rubbing one off doesn't 'lower your testosterone', it might just mean you have less desire. Some people reccomend it because it lets you keep a cool head and not be desperate.

Don't worry about the lying, everyone does it sometimes. Wasn't it worth it?

Take it easy man. Don't worry so much. You had a great time and an excellent start to the new year. Just go with the flow and enjoy it.

 

[mastacheef]

your doing great man, don't be afraid and don't ponder too much on what she's thinking! *cheers*