Not sure where I'm really going - any advice?

[QuodErat]

Alright, so I met this girl, and we've got a good deal of sexual tension between us.
I constantly tease her about chasing me, about how she's shorter than me, and whatnot - all that stuff. Just two points:

1) We've been chatting a sh!tton lately. Not texting, but IM and Skype and stuff. We talk about all sorts of deep personal things and bull****, and i'm wondering if talking too much will screw her interest level over or whatever. At the moment, I see her sort of as a friend, except that we say all sorts of flirty crap to each other (really thinking about it, I probably hit on her a lot more than she responds back. Any way to balance the scales?).
Will this kill the attraction she has for me? Where am I headed? Is there some sort of "Less is more" rule I'm supposed to be following?

2) How can I make her more invested in giving back? I'd like her to take more interest - or am I just being clingy/needy/desperate?

Any and all advice is appreciated.

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

You shouldn't be talking to her alot on IM and Skype. Keep interactions with her short unless they are in person.

You should do things right the first time so you wouldnt be in this situation. It seems like right now your in the friendzone. I say to get out of it you need to invest more time to you and less time with her. Let her initiate most of the contact and when she does don't seem to intrested.

 

[Kirro]

Alright, so I met this girl, and we've got a good deal of sexual tension between us.
I constantly tease her about chasing me, about how she's shorter than me, and whatnot - all that stuff. Just two points:

1) We've been chatting a sh!tton lately. Not texting, but IM and Skype and stuff. We talk about all sorts of deep personal things and bull****, and i'm wondering if talking too much will screw her interest level over or whatever. At the moment, I see her sort of as a friend, except that we say all sorts of flirty crap to each other (really thinking about it, I probably hit on her a lot more than she responds back. Any way to balance the scales?).
Will this kill the attraction she has for me? Where am I headed? Is there some sort of "Less is more" rule I'm supposed to be following?

2) How can I make her more invested in giving back? I'd like her to take more interest - or am I just being clingy/needy/desperate?

Any and all advice is appreciated.

Take this as an investment towards your future because your present is basically finished with this girl. A common mistake a lot of dudes make is realizing they're messing up when in reality they've already messed up.

All the chatting about all that stuff has put this chick in a comfort zone, she knows that if she wants attention from you that she just has to IM or talk with you on Skype. Its finished, she'll either reject you if you try to take this offline or flake on you.

You're welcome to ask her out ASAP if you wish, just to see if you get lucky. However its best you move on, find a new girl & don't make the same mistake.

You have to moderate the amount of attention you give a chick when she's not directly in front of you.

 

[JPlaya]

This happened to my friend and the girl flaked on him.

 

[mahoney]

it depends on the girl - i've had no real problem spending time on messenger with certain girls (and have spent very little time on messenger with other girls) - i have two main guidelines

1) know when a conversation is reaching a natural conclusion, and know to wrap it up at that point. this point is different with every girl, and even with the same girl it is different each time. basically don't let a conversation get boring

2) don't always be the one to message first - and be ok with both being 'online' but neither of you messaging - it isn't required

i'm not huge on messaging to be honest but sometimes i do with a girl and as long as the above are obeyed i have never had any kind of problem. my basic rule on this is, if its good its good, if it isn't good - don't do it

 

[QuodErat]

Alright, so i'm going to start investing less on her and more on me then, and see where that goes.
If that doesn't work, then i'll just know what NOT to do in the future.

From what you guys are saying, I probably fuxed up. Oh well.

 

[dementia]

Yes you are building comfort without anything sexual, no kino escalation, nothing.. really apart from comments (which is really nothing to go by).. u will only get boring and in the friendzone the more u do this. AVOID anything about yourself on online chat. It has to be virtually all banter unless she wants to talk.. but really... just avoid it and do the phone call as quick as u can..

If you want to get anywhere you need to stop ALL MSN contact. Get the number, set up a SPECIFIC date/time of something you are going to ANYWAY (so many guys still dont get this).. imediately hug her when u meet...etc.. you could even go for a hand hold straight away.. ive seen it work, but it is cavemanning to a degree so it might not... but do try to guage interest super quick. then run some comfort routines, the cube etc.. you need to set the frame and lead everything!

ONLY call from now on, and only do it to set up dates. THEN communicate.

 

[neghitzbrah]

it depends on the girl - i've had no real problem spending time on messenger with certain girls (and have spent very little time on messenger with other girls) - i have two main guidelines

1) know when a conversation is reaching a natural conclusion, and know to wrap it up at that point. this point is different with every girl, and even with the same girl it is different each time. basically don't let a conversation get boring

2) don't always be the one to message first - and be ok with both being 'online' but neither of you messaging - it isn't required

i'm not huge on messaging to be honest but sometimes i do with a girl and as long as the above are obeyed i have never had any kind of problem. my basic rule on this is, if its good its good, if it isn't good - don't do it

I agree with this. I have a chick who almost always sends me pix of herself via text. I don't really call her, but she says she wants to drink/smoke with me. She initiates 90% of the time so it's not a problem.

The problem with messaging is that people think so damn much on what to say and how to be ****y/funny. This actually works against you. Just say what's on your mind. And you don't have to respond to every goddamn message.

 

[mahoney]

yes, basically the problem with IM isnt IM itself, its that it allows boring people to be boring some more.

girl turns on the computer and who is there? why its that dude again - and whats he going to do? message her? and whats he going to say? nothing particularly interesting

the main problem for many dudes isn't texts or messages or mails particularly

their problem is WORDS. really boring ones....delivered with relentless monotonous regularity. clockwork men grinding girls down with the cuts of a thousand texts