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[asid76]

I'll make this short. I met a girl. Got her number. I called.

Got a dinner date. She said most dates she's been on the guys just wanted sex so I played it cool and didn't escalate sexually or anything, just talked, got a hug at the end. Went on another date; a walk in the park, and again we just talked, another hug. Then went over for breakfast for a third date - I started some kino like ran my hand down her back, high fived etc, but all in all I kept it non-sexual - didn't want to be like the other guys she complained about. Hugged her and went home. Thought to myself NEXT time its on!

Now I'm in friends zone as she said she doesn't see me in a physical light (told me in a text), I would've liked to escalate faster and alot more but she said she didn't like guys that were all about sex and always flirting with her.

Where did I go wrong?
What should I do next time?
Help.

 

[dark god]

dude...u need to brush up on the basics STAT.

 

[romangod]

Instead of hugs you should have kissed her.

Cheers!

 

[dark god]

Instead of hugs you should have kissed her.

Cheers!

pffftt He should of did at least a dozen things differently.

 

[romangod]

pffftt He should of did at least a dozen things differently.

Maybe, but kissing her would have answered all his questions. What are the other dozen things? I await your wisdom.


Cheers!

 

[dark god]

Maybe, but kissing her would have answered all his questions. What are the other dozen things? I await your wisdom.


Cheers!

1)dinner date? somebody mention dinner equals sleep..they were right
2)On the first date she mention "guys just want sex" so he played it cool...sh*t test and he failed
4)At the end of the first date He got a Hug...dead give away He In the friend zone..shouldve moved on
5)second date went for a walk in the park..Is she a french poodle cause I thought he was tryin to get laid IMO didnt didnt set a good atmosphere
6)At the end of the second date another Hug..again shouldve seen the flag
7)third date did breakfast tried kino but "all in all kept it non sexuall" He played "the nice guy role" and end up In AFC land again.
8)" Thought to himself at the end of third date "NEXT time its On" afc mentality shouldve been on since the first date.
9)put him into the friendzone becuase he had three different dates an listened to her bull and made HIMSELF the beta.

well u got me on the twelve but heres nine.

 

[DjVita]

She said most dates she's been on the guys just wanted sex so I played it cool and didn't escalate sexually or anything, Help.

that is what you did wrong. she sh!t tested you, and you took her word.
now she sees you as an older brother.
your problem was taking her word.
you disregard her BS and take what you want (her).
you are sexual regadless of what she says.
i even imagine her saying "ugh! i hate it how guys only want me for sex! " and yet thats just what she wants....

you were non sexual, so she saw you in a non sexual way
dont take womens advice!
i hope you learned your lesson, you CANT "play it cool" you play it WELL, that means as A MAN
come on your 41, you can do it bud!

 

[jophil28]

Got a dinner date. She said most dates she's been on the guys just wanted sex ...

Unfortunately, it was dead at that point.

"Most guys just want sex..."

The womanspeek translation is," I am not feeling it for ya, buddy. No nookie for you."
You were already in the FZ.

Then she did what all self serving women would do, she continued to accept your hospitality and took the benefits of your time and money UNTIL she knew, by your kino, that you expected THE PAYOFF.

Notice how she waited until after the third date to tell you (via the safety of a text) that she was not feeling sexual towards you.

I do not so much agree that she sh!t tested you on the first date ( although there is always a chance that she was) She was telling you how she FELT towards you.

Curiously these situations when women talk about how they dislike "sex crazed" men, always end badly.

On a brighter note, at least you can say that you have met ONE women whose words matched her eventual actions.

 

[Zarky]

I disagree I've banged chicks who said they weren't interested in guys who "just wanted sex." But I've played hardball with them and dumped them and stuff and they changed their minds on their own. Some, of course, just left, which was fine by me.

You need to set the frame from the beginning. You only want to deal with the ones who are down for sex with you asap. Weed out the others.

 

[asid76]

Thanks! First of all I'm 34. I see now my errors. I felt off my game with this one for sure.
Right as soon as she said "most guys just want sex" I felt paralyzed. I had read so much about this kind of **** test yet bombed when confronted with it
My mind went blank I was like "oh fu*k oh fu*k how do I turn this around?" I froze.

I am getting better and this was the first date in my new city after just getting settled in here so was good practise.
I agree with ALL nine points above but also wonder if by her saying that on the first date was she trying to nicely say "I'm not attracted to you".
Maybe. Thanks guys. Next time I'll just be sexual anyway right from the start and if they don't like it I'll move on...

Cheers!

 

[jophil28]

..if by her saying that on the first date was she trying to nicely say "I'm not attracted to you".

Cheers!

If you read my post above you will see that I made that exact point.
Women send signals covertly. She was telling you that she had no IL in you from the get go and her eventual LJBF text was the final confirmation of that
The other posters missed one vital detail in your post - She told you that she disliked men who pursue sex in a Dinner Date setting - you were in "Provisioner role" and her comment essentially rejected you in that context. When women accept a man as a potential "provisioner" , and they are sexually attracted to him, they FUKK the guy. There was absolutely no way that you were going to 'get some' (at least in the first few dates) with this woman. As far as she was concerned you were not a contender . You were off the menu from the entree onwards . Her remark about her dislike of men's singular pursuit of sex WAS her message to you.
The belief by the other posters that she was "sh1t testing", might have been valid if she had made that remark,off the cuff, at a party where the vino was flowing and men and women were playing and flirting.

The fine detail is this - she made that remark when you were on a dinner date.. just you and she. The context and the setting were vital clues to her hidden message.

Live and learn.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear asid,
Jophil was right when he surmised "Unfortunately, it was dead at the point she says "Most guys just want sex..."
The womanspeek translation is," I am not feeling it for ya, buddy. No nookie for you........Having said that I would like to try and correct the rather naive expectation from a lot of the younger posters that ALL Women if gamed correctly will give sex,many never will....If you drew a bell curve for Female sexuality with avid,uncontrollable nymphomaniacs at one end and completely asexual femmes at the other,there are several intermediate stages which stop short of indulging in the dirty deed.....Your girl is I think,someone who needs the social accreditation of a Man,but considers him as she would any other necessary part of her social accoutrements,like the crocodile skin handbag or the latest fashion in shoes....That she warns you straight up is to her credit,that you paid for a nice meal to learn it perhaps less....Learn a lesson,don't waste money on expensive dinners for first dates...I agree with Max Miller,a stand up comedian of my youth,who wrote perhaps whimsically "I love the girls that do, I like the girls that don't, I hate the girl who says she will and then she says she won't. But the girl I like the best of all, I think you'll say I'm right, is the girl who says she never will, but look as though she might.

 

[Bible_Belt]

Right as soon as she said "most guys just want sex" I felt paralyzed.


I would disagree that this is a sign of low interest. I think what she is saying is that SHE was the one who wanted sex too much, and afterward she felt cheap. It's easier to think of guys as dogs than of herself as a wh0re.

Words don't mean anything with women. Either they'll fvck or they won't. Stop listening to their words, and just try to fvck every girl you want. That is the easiest way to sort through the ones who waste your time.

 

[jophil28]

We often say here that women's words mean little and her actions speak the truth.
Certainly, 'action' has it's own langauge and the messages available in that language are highly credible, however her words (and it's messages ) are also often worth some consideration for the hidden signals that she may be sending.

IF I were in a dinner setting with a new woman and I heard," All men just want sex." I would decode that as .." Men just want to fukk women and then discard them and that includes you buddy. I am not going to let that happen to me. This date is staying vertical and going nowhere."

Because I have options, and other women to date, I would have finished that dinner in a polite way, driven her home and NOT called her again. If she was just sh1t testing me, she might call ME again and pursue me. If she has really anti-sex, and I did not hear from her again that I have lost nothing.

There is an abundance of women out there. Why bother trying to "game" your way through a brick wall.

 

[Bluntmaster]

I've had girls tell me that and they still bang on the first date.

I would have said "I know what you mean! All women want from me is sex. I feel your pain but what are you gonna do?"

 

[window]

I think you were still in with a shot but it was a bad move playing into her test...she's probably used it on a hundred guys who all turned into nice guys. You should have agreed and esculated..so she sais most guys just want sex. You say..."well from were I stand I'm a man and it's not that I expect sex but if a girl isn't feeling it for me after 2 or 3 dates it's usually a good sign the chemistry isn't there". Her "oh really, and what happens if I dont want to give it up straight away..." And the game is on. This does two things, it shows her her opinion of you does not affect you. And it takes the conversation to a sexual place which is where you want to be from the get go.

 

[The Grue]

"I love the girls that do, I like the girls that don't, I hate the girl who says she will and then she says she won't. But the girl I like the best of all, I think you'll say I'm right, is the girl who says she never will, but looks as though she might."[/QUOTE]

Absolutely golden Scaramouche!

 

[jonwon]

I'll make this short. I met a girl. Got her number. I called.

Got a dinner date. She said most dates she's been on the guys just wanted sex so I played it cool and didn't escalate sexually or anything, just talked, got a hug at the end. Went on another date; a walk in the park, and again we just talked, another hug. Then went over for breakfast for a third date - I started some kino like ran my hand down her back, high fived etc, but all in all I kept it non-sexual - didn't want to be like the other guys she complained about. Hugged her and went home. Thought to myself NEXT time its on!

Now I'm in friends zone as she said she doesn't see me in a physical light (told me in a text), I would've liked to escalate faster and alot more but she said she didn't like guys that were all about sex and always flirting with her.

Where did I go wrong?
What should I do next time?
Help.

TBH about is when a women drops this, they usually have an agenda "She said most dates she's been on the guys just wanted sex" - She probably wanted a free night out from her boring routine.

Did you pay?!

Honestly, that sort of line from a woman gets the hairs on my back up.

Next time cancel the dinner, do something that doesn't cost you much money - advance, progress if anything you weren't getting sex anyway.

But in all fairness if she peeled her panties off and screamed for you to fuc* her, i doubt you'd know what to do. Your level is basic, read up on some David D, for starters and the DJ bible.

 

[Ballie]

First date being a dinner date has never worked for me. First couple of dates should be action dates - bowling, music concerts, etc.

I only take them out for dinner after I have had s*x with them - when they have earned it!

 

[squirrels]

A girl who says, "All guys seem to want is sex" is usually the kind of girl who WANTS to have sex with these guys, bangs them, and then feels bad the next morning when all her social conditioning kicks back in.

She gives "lip-service" to the idea of chastity to make you think she's a good girl. But in many cases, when she brings up the "I'm not having sex with you" un-prompted, it generally means she's thinking about having sex with you and reminding herself, just as much as she's reminding you, that she's a "good girl".

Yeah, right.

Dude, women WANT to have sex. They want it more than men. They just have dozens of little hang-ups about WHERE and WHEN and with WHOM they can have it. The whole idea behind "pickup game" is to be able to maneuver around those roadblocks and create an environment where she feels comfortable with letting you take her.

When she says that crap, you ignore it. It's doublespeak...focus on what she DOES. It's very likely she'll whine about it the whole night, but when the sexy-time comes, she'll want it as much as YOU do, the whole while chastising you for "making her be bad".

Or maybe she won't and she really DOES mean she doesn't want anything from you. Which is why you don't take her out for an expensive meal to impress her, you just go somewhere you wanted to go ANYWAY and could just use some company. Then if sexy-time doesn't work out, you at least enjoyed yourself.

BTW some of you guys need to re-think the idea of a date-venue. The idea of a date is not to take the girl somewhere to impress her with where you can take her. It's to take her somewhere where you can be YOURself, where your personal energy is highlighted and the things you appreciate about YOURSELF shine through.

But think about what she's saying...she DOESN'T LIKE MEN WHO FLIRT WITH HER?? If that isn't a heaping smelly pile of chick double-speak, I don't know what is! :crackup: