I'm 31, and I'm feeling a little rushed. DJ theory says that weshould make ourselves better, but I don't think I really have much time to improve myself more. if I'm 40 years old when I end up "good enough" for the women I want, what good does that do me?
Unless you plan on dying before you turn 40 years old, you have plenty of time to do self-improvement.
You seem to be placing the idea of a LTR or marriage as a huge priority in life itself. What you need to learn is that you DON'T need women to live a successful life. Women should NOT be the source of your happiness. Happiness should come from within. A woman can only add or take away happiness.
Also, you shouldn't be wanting to do self-improvement for the sake of landing a woman, you should be doing it for yourself! There's nothing like the happiness and satisfaction that you can bring to yourself when you remove your insecurities, and truly believe that you are a fantastic person. No woman can give you that feeling.
It just seems like the prospects I meet that are both attractive and have the right qualifications don't see much in me.
People will see you as you see yourself. If you see yourself as uninteresting, women will see it as well. It's like a mirror reflection. The better you think of yourself, the better people will respond to you.
Also, your ideal woman isn't solely made up of what you think of her. She should treat you the way your ideal woman would treat you!