No Single Friends Left

[NSUballer]

This is a sad realization that I have come to. I no longer have any friends who are single.

Technically I have one single friend who is recently divorced and is involved in what seemingly can only be described as a LTR with a 20 year old in another state. He claims to be in love with her but I know its only because he isnt out trying to meet other women. The worst part is hes goinig to drive right hours to see her next week. SMH.

My friend of 20 years recently announced he asked his 36 year old girlfriend of less than two years, to get married. He's 27. He has been living with her basically since they met. The woman is nice but straight up crazy. Kicked him out her house multiple times in the past year. He also has a son with another crazy. He doesnt go anywhere without her and rarely spends more than an hour or so out of the house without her.

My other friend bought a house last year and moved his GF of two months in shortly thereafter.

I am the only one in my group of friends who isnt married, about to be married, seriously dating or even casually dating. Im not even really interested in any of that right now.

My issue is that I am the last man standing. I cant even get most of my friends out without the old ball and chain making a big deal about it. Its pathetic in my opinion. Maybe I am just that much different than them. Maybe I have a different perspective on women and relationships.

Surely some of you have gone through this.

 

[drak_ool]

I cant even get most of my friends out without the old ball and chain making a big deal about it. Its pathetic in my opinion.

Amen to that! The most pathetic part about it too is when you start discussing weekend plans with a "taken" friend, and he starts making excuses right away (too busy, broke, tired, etc) when you know that he simply doesn't have the mental energy to deal with the wifey/gf at home nagging at him.

And how do I know it's just excuses? Because these are the exact same guys who are blowing up my phone to go out as soon as their significant other is out of town!

This is also a good time to appreciate the effectiveness of nagging: for most guys, if their gf/wife bi.tches at them every time they go out, after a while they will simply refuse to even entertain the idea of going out because they know the misery it entails for the next week or two.

Hence my 0 tolerance policy on any sort of nagging. Don't forget that in a relationship, every inch you give up is lost forever.

 

[SecondHalf]

Appeal to the fiends GF/wife/hoe/whatever that you just want to meet a nice girl with a .7 to 1 hip waste ratio but none that you meet are a keeper like you!
It will get you laid, and prolong your inevitable declining friendship (make no mistake, eventually you're toast).
Milk it, walk away ... Such is evolution !

SH

 

[Mike32ct]

I've had this problem for the past 7 years. Nothing I can do about it. It is what it is.

As I said in other posts, me calling a taken friend is like the press on the phone with a hostage.

Mike: hey buddy how are ya!

Mikes taken friend(s): "She's feeding me and treating me well. Gotta go Mike."

 

[Desdinova]

That's the story of my life. I love having a wing in tow when I go out, but most of the time my friends' gfs take priority over me, so I'm out on my own most of the time. It's better to create friends on the spot than rely on friends who are chained to their women.

 

[zekko]

This is a sad realization that I have come to. I no longer have any friends who are single.

Considering all the posters here who have written that monogamy is completely unnatural for humans, there sure are an awful lot of people pair bonding, isn't there? Oh wait, I forgot, they're only doing it because they've seen too many Disney movies.

 

[synergy1]

Considering all the posters here who have written that monogamy is completely unnatural for humans, there sure are an awful lot of people pair bonding, isn't there? Oh wait, I forgot, they're only doing it because they've seen too many Disney movies.

Don't listen to what people say, watch what people do. For example, RT preaches not getting married, but is married himself. While one might interpret this as a mixed message, its clear that the act in itself proves that even he isn't really against marriage despite what he might post.

As for pair bonding: I think its as natural as wanting to have multiple partners. Survival is based on rearing our young, but in some cases one man can marry and take care of multiple women and multiple children, so a facet of polygamy must exist too. This duality seems to be a source of confusion for many members of this forum.

Lets face it guys: most men aren't in a situation conducive to get the women they want. There is a smaller subset of men who can get the desirable women while most others struggle just to meet women. When these types of guys meet women, they go into lockdown mode. They use their social circles as a means to met the women, than withdrawl as soon as they need too. Its not realistic to expect most of our friends to remain social when in reality its tiring, expensive and usually unfulfilling. Take a look at me for example: I work hard at most everything I do and have reasonable success with women. However, the rejection ( I live in new england, its a joke here) is even starting to wear on me. Now take the average dude who works 1/10th as hard and doesn't have the success...do you honestly expect them to stay in the game as soon as a fat piece is thrown their way? I don't think so.

 

[DonJuanabe]

I've written a few posts complaining about this kind of situation. *****, *****, *****, moan, moan, moan. You have to find some hobbies you can do solo (besides masturbation) and make new friends.

 

[alphamailman]

Yet another quandary where daygame can certainly help!

 

[st_99]

Now take the average dude who works 1/10th as hard and doesn't have the success...do you honestly expect them to stay in the game as soon as a fat piece is thrown their way? I don't think so.

yeah, it is what it is. if you want a rotation of women or few sexual dry spells there is no way around it but to get out there and do the work. its not that different than a job really. you have to force yourself to get out there when you dont feel like it, learn a little basic game, apply it, go through tons os rejections, flakes, etc.. and get those few girls. then wash, rinse, repeat as they fall off..

its work.

98% wont do it.

 

[AW1983]

Don't forget that in a relationship, every inch you give up is lost forever.

Very, very true. That sentence right there is the gem of the thread so far. Rep.

I have this problem too, which has become blindingly evident since I recently exited stage left on my LTR. Man I'd love a good wing but it's been about 3 years since the last one. And I actually do know/meet a lot of people but there's basically two types of buddies you have as a DJ: (1) Locked in LTR, will fight to the last breath to stay in it. (2) Single, not by choice.

The #1 guys might make good wings but getting them out is like pulling teeth, and the #2 guys are down to hang out and ride your social coat tails, but they are unwillingly single for a reason and though I like them as people sometimes they can f*ck up your game out in the field haha.

 

[backbreaker]

Don't listen to what people say, watch what people do. For example, RT preaches not getting married, but is married himself. While one might interpret this as a mixed message, its clear that the act in itself proves that even he isn't really against marriage despite what he might post.

As for pair bonding: I think its as natural as wanting to have multiple partners. Survival is based on rearing our young, but in some cases one man can marry and take care of multiple women and multiple children, so a facet of polygamy must exist too. This duality seems to be a source of confusion for many members of this forum.

Lets face it guys: most men aren't in a situation conducive to get the women they want. There is a smaller subset of men who can get the desirable women while most others struggle just to meet women. When these types of guys meet women, they go into lockdown mode. They use their social circles as a means to met the women, than withdrawl as soon as they need too. Its not realistic to expect most of our friends to remain social when in reality its tiring, expensive and usually unfulfilling. Take a look at me for example: I work hard at most everything I do and have reasonable success with women. However, the rejection ( I live in new england, its a joke here) is even starting to wear on me. Now take the average dude who works 1/10th as hard and doesn't have the success...do you honestly expect them to stay in the game as soon as a fat piece is thrown their way? I don't think so.

if you can show me one post wehre rollo says to not get married i'll paypal you 100 bucks.

you can't do it. in fact i'll throw you a bone here's rollo's view point on marriage


http://rationalmale.wordpress.com/2012/07/30/16-years-on/

After 16 years of marriage I can honestly say there are no appreciable advantages (outside of raising children) that a man cannot enjoy single that he can married. That’s not meant to be pessimistic, but rather a caution to emphasize how important it is to disabuse yourselves of this AFC, romanticized, marriage-as-goal mentality. It’s also not to say marriage is never worth it – just that marriage is complete advantage for women with negligible, if any, benefit for men. Marriage will either make a man’s life or destroy his life; enter into thinking about it like this and you’ll make a better decision. Is this person deserving of what I provide? Women will NEVER, even in the best of marriages, fully appreciate the sacrifices a man has to make in order to fulfill his commitment of marriage. Entering into a life-long binding commitment of fidelity that offers a man very little appreciable advantage, and knowing the totality of the risk he’s assuming in accepting that sacrifice will never be fully understood or appreciated by the woman he marries. This is why you have put your head into thinking whether she’s deserving of your provisioning, security, confidence, attention, etc. even when it goes against what you think is your kind and good-hearted nature. If you’ve come to a point where in spite of the acknowledged risks you still want to make that commitment, you must be as self-concerned about marriage as you would be in saving your own life.

rollo, like myself, 5string, **** pretty much everyone on this forum who has been or is marriage is not anti marriage. that' sjust what some people want it to say.

we're anti - jump into a marriage beucase her biological clock is ticking and she isn't getting any younger/ it's the right thing to do/you're a creep if you don't marry a woman by the time you're X/marrying the first girl who sucks your ****/not screening a woman before marriage/being too stupid to want the best but at the same time be logically prepared for the worse because you dont' want to offend your wife by making her think you don't love her...- marriage


i'l even take it a step further.. most guys who have played the game long enough are guys who eventually marry.. see guys wet behind the ears dont' see it but you get out there and you actually talk to / **** /date a bnch of women, and you actually run across one that is worth a ****, and not worth a **** beucase she will **** you but worth a **** because she actually has class and morals and isnt' a **** and is hot and has all these other qualities you want.. and you compare that to all the other road kill you've had over the past years.. shieeeet. I look at newbies who refute the idea of marriage like guys who come into money who say they will always drive a 200k Bentley or live in a super stupid house beucse why woudln't you now that you can. once they get used to having money your idea changes. once you get used to getting prime ***** the facade of the game wears off and you are OPEN to settling down if you run across one worth settling down with.



as far as your friends it's not that they are married but that they are just chumps who happened to be married. i can leave the house when i damn well please and i'm married. then again as otehrs have stated, who isn't a chump these days

 

[zekko]

As for pair bonding: I think its as natural as wanting to have multiple partners. Survival is based on rearing our young, but in some cases one man can marry and take care of multiple women and multiple children, so a facet of polygamy must exist too. This duality seems to be a source of confusion for many members of this forum.

Yeah, I've always said that both seed spreading (multiple partners) and pair bonding are natural mating strategies for humans. I can't even believe that I've had to point this out, it seems so obvious.

But some guys are so into the PUA stuff that they reject any idea that pair bonding is normal. What they fail to see is that a species having more than one potential mating strategy can make its odds of survival better. One of the strong points of human beings is that they are adaptible.

As for Rollo, I think one reason his messages seem to be contradictory to how he lives is that he tends to aim them toward beginners. He's assuming that a person reading it may not know much about PUA or the manosphere so he sort of "dumbs it down" so that a person just starting out can understand it, and avoid some of the more obvious mistakes an AFC will tend to make.

The irony of this is when I first starting reading posts here, it confused me. I was always thinking "How can he say he is happily married when he's slamming marriage so much?". It didn't make sense to me until I realized he was aiming what he was saying to beginners - naive AFCs, not the Backbreakers and 5strings.

 

[Heretolearn]

This topic has been one of the hardest challenges for me in getting older. It feels like I lose my friends because:

- their schedule does not allow them to go out and when they do, it is with their partner which REALLY changes the dynamic (I specifically hate inviting my GUY friend to a GUY event and he brings his partner without asking grrrr)
- When we do catch up, we have drifted so far apart in terms of common interests that it becomes forced. Eg. Their interests in domestic parts of lives and talking about how they went to a movie or social bbqs or dinners versus adventurous/interesting conversation.

And yes, the age factor comes into play here because I find (generally) the younger generation to be living more interesting lives/independent lives yet It is strange (not wrong but strange) to be hanging out with 20 year olds...

I aim to avoid bitterness when friends like this come back (either partner away so they are lonely) or they split up and you have to nurse them back to health ( I have been on the recovery for some time myself although had no single friends to return to )

 

[synergy1]

fair enough, my interpretation was that he doesn't recommend marriage for the majority. While I agree with that ( not that I am an expert), the message to me seems like the following: only certain people who are aware aught to get married. There are a lot of impressionable people here, and its easy to get confused with the multitude of 'don't get married' posts.

no disrespect intended.

 

[Colossus]

I've had this problem for the past 7 years. Nothing I can do about it. It is what it is.

As I said in other posts, me calling a taken friend is like the press on the phone with a hostage.

Mike: hey buddy how are ya!

Mikes taken friend(s): "She's feeding me and treating me well. Gotta go Mike."

Dude, story of my life the last few years.

Funny because I was just talking about how I never see two of my oldest buds anymore now that they are married. One has a newborn baby so I'll cut him some slack, but the other I know damn well isn't doing anything at night other than watching TV with his wife.

It is annoying. I don't think there is any excuse for it, but I've just accepted it as a fact of life once you get over 30. You cant rely on friends really, just enjoy them when they are around and expect the friendship will eventually dissolve in that potent solvent called Marriage.

 

[Demonpenz]

I see it as a chance to find some real bad asses who want the lions share of awesome. Put them in your social circle.

 

[Burroughs]

just enjoy them when they are around and expect the friendship will eventually dissolve in that potent solvent called Marriage.

yup this is how it goes...i'm 27 just starting to see this happening to my friends..once marriage hits 90% of former activities cease.

its funny i have primary custody of my daughter but have never been married...I still play golf once a week I just bring her with me...i have married friends with no kids who haven't played golf in 18 months who used to be out 2 times a month...but they have more than enough time to go to pottery barn and nordstroms every week carrying wifeys bags...fvckin faggots

 

[Boilermaker]

if you can show me one post wehre rollo says to not get married i'll paypal you 100 bucks.

you can't do it. in fact i'll throw you a bone here's rollo's view point on marriage


http://rationalmale.wordpress.com/2012/07/30/16-years-on/

Sorry to be your worst nightmare, but you are caught lying again. And I'll always be there to expose you.
Here's two snippets from Rollo's article:

I emphasize that a man not even become monogamous until he’s 30 and that he shouldn’t consider marriage until his mid 30s. Again, I state this not because I did so myself, but from my side of the fence I can see the huge advantages to doing so now. Marriage should be a last resort, something to be forestalled until a Man, by virtue of years of experience, has the ability to recognize with measurable accuracy, a woman who deserves what he provides her. The PRIZE mentality is essential. A man must be a Prince first, before he can be a King when he marries.

Another one:

Women will NEVER, even in the best of marriages, fully appreciate the sacrifices a man has to make in order to fulfill his commitment of marriage. Entering into a life-long binding commitment of fidelity that offers a man very little appreciable advantage, and knowing the totality of the risk he’s assuming in accepting that sacrifice will never be fully understood or appreciated by the woman he marries. This is why you have put your head into thinking whether she’s deserving of your provisioning, security, confidence, attention, etc. even when it goes against what you think is your kind and good-hearted nature. If you’ve come to a point where in spite of the acknowledged risks you still want to make that commitment, you must be as self-concerned about marriage as you would be in saving your own life.

I think you owe me 500$ or something but you can keep it.

 

[Dedication]

Sorry to be your worst nightmare, but you are caught lying again. And I'll always be there to expose you.
Here's two snippets from Rollo's article:



Another one:


I think you owe me 500$ or something but you can keep it.

Spreading awareness about the consequenses of a marriage and telling how/when to do it != Never, ever get married.

You know what BB is saying, why you calling him a liar? You're better than that. Y know what he ment and you also know full well what RT is saying. Don't go acting like a women trying to get your right here. Like you said, you don't even want the money, keep that humble side up and you'll be an amazing guy.