No more excuses. Journal of successes, failures and everything in between

[Masculinity]

I recently came near a death medical experience. The doctor pretty much said I should be prepared. And so, I began thinking how I would set up my death arrangements in an effort to minimize the burden on my family. I estimated funeral costs, etc. and how I would keep my condition a secret. Furthermore, I began to think how much more I could have done with my life and how I had wasted my youth being lazy, making excuses not to approach women, etc. It was a very difficult situation. In fact, I was devastated for a few days, losing considerable sleep. I kept thinking "If only I got a 2nd chance..." I would do things much differently. I did a lot of praying and so did my mother.

And guess what? My wish was granted. The diagnosis (which I can't reveal, but would have killed me in a few years) came out in my favor. In other words, I came very close to dying in my mid 20's. And now that I know I will live, I am giving my life a complete turn. I have been consistently eating much healthier, exercising more, being more social, and I am on my way to being "fearless" as my friend calls me. In fact, he thinks I'm fearless now. I disagree. Hence, I'm stepping my life to the next level. I am significantly less inhibited and sliced the number of excuses I make. Whenever I want to wimp out, I compare my current reality to how things would have gone had the diagnosis not been in my favor: death.

In conclusion, I have become a different person--a new version of myself with multiple improvements. This thread is now my official journal in which I'll write at least biweekly about my successes, failures, and everything in the middle including funny stories, field reports, lay reports, etc. I am honored to share this with all of you. I now look forward to waking up each day of my life. Still making excuses? Think of your buddy Robyn next time you do.

Keep being money,

-R

 

[Plutoman]

I like it. Keep at it. I'll be keeping an eye on this.

 

[Purefilth]

Words I try to live by : "You can have either excuses or results. Not both."

 

[synergy1]

sometimes it takes that jolt for us to understand that it can be so much worse which in turn makes us appreciate what we have, and what we can do. When you realize that anything causing "stress" in ones life is bull****, it truly un-inhibits you and will enable you to do more.

So than onto the meat/potatos. What do you plan to do differently now with women? More approaches? Different approaches? more traveling?

In a weird way I am envious of your newfound outlook. one simply can not syntheses the appreciation you have, and subsequently the fun you are probably going to have with friends, life and women.

Good luck!

 

[Masculinity]

What do you plan to do differently now with women? More approaches? Different approaches? more traveling?

In a weird way I am envious of your newfound outlook. one simply can not syntheses the appreciation you have, and subsequently the fun you are probably going to have with friends, life and women.

Thanks, man. I have already begun doing things differently. So far I am:

-eating healthier: less sugar, fats, salt, and minimized junk food

-exercising more often: I'm doing cardiovascular exercise every other day. I used to be ashamed of my body. Now I stand up straight with my chest out and my body in line--trust me girls notice. I am still not 100% comfortable with my body, so I'm working out to reduce my body fat.

-Not caring so much about what people think of me. For example, I run and focus on my workout or go to the library and focus on my homework without wondering what people around will think of me (huge issue in the past that is now subsiding).

-I'm am no longer afraid of the approach or afraid of making a fool out of myself. If she rejects me, so be it. There is this girl from class that I have been talking to. I'm flirty with her and she responds positively. The other day, I looked at her in eyes and told her " (name), I think you're attractive, but there are so many attractive women here in (place). In other words, I look for more than just a pretty face. So if I were to ask you 3 things about yourself that you are proud about and would make me want to get to know your better; and they couldn't be your looks or something you do, what would you say? HB: "Smiles...wow that's a hard question. *goes on to answer my questions* What about you? Tell me about yourself "

We kept talking for a while and she begins tell me about her sorority and how they went to a lake.
me: you went to (lake) without taking me? That's it, I want a divorce
hb: haha, I went with my sorority sisters, so no guys allowed
me: you know...that's a good idea. I wouldn't want you all to tear each other's faces apart saying "I saw him first! No! He was in MY class "
hb: Hahaha...wow, thank you for keeping our sisterhood together
*somehow food comes up"
hb: yeah, so I was eating at (dining hall name) and I was in heaven, but I've heard (dinning hall 2) is much better.
me: you haven't been to (better dinning hall!?)
hb: lol...no!
me: that's it...don't make plans for next Friday because you and I are going
hb: *smiles and keeps asking questions*
At some point, the topic changes and then we come back to food
me: cool, I like those qualities you mentioned about yourself. Why don't you take me out to eat sometime
hb: Haha...for sure. We are already going to (dinning hall) on Friday, remember? *giggles*
*long story short, she was IOI'ing me a lot. I will update on this.*

Thanks for sharing this post. We all need a kick-in-the-as$ every once in a awhile, and I think you got the biggest kick a guy can get.

Your post reminds me what a blessing it is tobe living and making the most of this life.

Thanks, I agree; we take many things for granted. It is a privilege to breathe, to walk, to have a car, to be alive.



Furthermore, I have been accepting dismissive behavior from people until recently. It is a self-esteem problem that I have been passively wishing to battle all my life, but have done nothing about until now. I closed my eyes and thought to myself "I deserve much better than people/women who treats me like this. I am (listed my self qualities) and if a woman can't see that, then there's something wrong with her not with me. As simple as it sounds, I have significantly stopped blaming myself for failures (unless they are, of course, my fault). I used to beat myself up a lot over failed approaches or low IL girls. That is no longer the case. I am actually more neutral about it now and realize there are things out there beyond my control including flaws in others (and not just me).

 

[sageproduct]

Robyn, that's wonderful that the diagnosis came out in your favor. Cheers for you man.

Coincidentally, this morning I had a sudden realization that I had not considered my own mortality in a very long time. I used to live in my life in a way where I could die at any moment and it would be ok. Unfortunately, it has not been fulfilling to that degree recently - a sign that I need to make changes

 

[Masculinity]

Putting a plate in check

Robyn, that's wonderful that the diagnosis came out in your favor. Cheers for you man.

Coincidentally, this morning I had a sudden realization that I had not considered my own mortality in a very long time. I used to live in my life in a way where I could die at any moment and it would be ok. Unfortunately, it has not been fulfilling to that degree recently - a sign that I need to make changes

Thanks, my man. I'm glad my story reached out and influenced you/others positively

-------------------------------------
On another note, I put a plate in check tonight. I called her and left a voicemail after she didn't answer. As you may recall, one of my new perspectives is not taking garbage from others. In a calm and interactive tone I said: "Hey, dude! I'm calling to follow up on my text message and ensure there aren't misinterpretations. I know you have goals to get accomplished (she's in her 1st semester of college with the goal to be pediatrician) and I do not want to take away from your focus. As a college student myself, I understand the importance of time management, especially in one's first semester of college. In other words, the ball is on your court. If you change/rearrange your schedule to hangout, you may contact me. And if turns out that you're don't have to hangout that's completely cool too. Talk to you later!"

After not hearing from her in six days, I get a call within ninety seconds of leaving the above voicemail. In summary, she says the following: "hey, I'm sorry I didn't answer your call. I was at a BBQ at my aunt's house. I have been thinking about my schedule, and by next week, I will definitely have my scheduled settled to go see you." I listen and tell her it's cool and that I called to either end it on a good note or ensure this doesn't happen again in the future. She continues with "yea, I understand what you mean. I will have this set and text you tomorrow." We say our goodbyes and she's coming over to my place soon.

Man, I can't believe how I accepted this behavior before. In this scenario, it's almost like showing her I am not going to put up with her bull had a positive effect (showing she's interested). Lesson learned.

 

[Masculinity]

Not demonstrating interest immediately appears to generate interest

I took an exam recently with a complex problem near the end. There is this hb8-8.5 that sits behind me in our class of 250 people. There a two guys sitting on her left and whenever she has a question their white knight butts rush over to help. I have learned better & can distinguish sexual interest from I-think-he-can-make-my-grade-better interest. Anyhow, I sit between two hb7.5's--one on my left and one on my right. The one on the left is a hired gun at some bar and just doesn't cut it for me (red flags); the one on the right is an Asian girl with whom I have to move at turtle speed to avoid her running away like a rabbit.

Somehow dating/sex came up one day and I rejected bar hb7.5. "I think we make good friends, but I just don't think of you that way." To which she replied with "aww ." I felt very powerful. I automatically ignore most attractive women because they are usually used to guys drooling over them. I do the same with hb8.5. However, this time I actually had a reason to talk to her (the exam). We talked outside for a little. She was holding strong eye contact, body was faced directly towards me, kept asking me questions and then asked if we were in both classes together. She then begins asking me about my grades, so I tell her. Then she asks how I think she did on the test. I reply "I don't know how I did myself yet. It would be a lie to say I know how you did, haha." She responds by smiling and tilting her head about 45 degrees. I held eye contact with her directly for over 5 minutes--the first time I have ever done this. Surprisingly I did it easily with her, calling her "dude," not paying attention to her beauty, etc., and she was obviously not used to this.

In summary, I have found I might have have the ability to "turn off" my sexual attraction for a girl, which conversely makes me more calm when interacting and possibly seem more attractive to the girl. I am not talking literally, of course. It is more of like a mental shortcut to improve my interpersonal skills with babes. I actually did not think of all the signs she was sending me because I had already desexualized her my reality, which is really intriguing. This might be nothing or it may be a new start--I'm going to talk to her and class and update soon!

-R

 

[Masculinity]

Australian hb

At around 2:20PM I am leaving my psychology class with a break in between before my other class. As I'm walking downstairs, I see a religious preacher speaking against science (at a highly scientific university). Long story short, I hang around for a bit with about 15 other people and listen. He used to be a frat boy drinking and getting high off heroin binges. "Why are people attacking that man?," I ask. This Asian girl comes and talks to me about him and some interesting points. Suddenly a female friend from work comes and talks to me; we chat for a bit and then I decide it's time for class. As I turn my bicycle, I catch a 6ft. tall blonde with green eyes (sitting down) looking at me (hb8.5). I sustain eye contact and she immediately gives me an eyebrow lift like this: (Image). At that point, I get the good old AFC in my head saying "pshhht...that's pure coincidence. No gorgeous woman in her right mind (like the one in front of you) would set her eyes on you." I could not handle it anymore. I pulled my bike over and stopped. The DJ inside me dominated and said ":cuss: WTF are you saying AFC?! Robyn, you get your ass over there right now :trouble:. I grabbed my self esteem from the floor and put it across my face with a smile. I am now biking back to the hottie. She sees me and I open:

r: hey, are you listening to that man speak?
hb: hey, yeah we are actually doing a documentary of him, blah blah
r: yeah, I was listening to his ideas on biological impulses, etc.
hb: his tone and speech really captivate people
r: definitely, it takes courage to stand in front of 20 people opposing your views and still keep your cool. I study dating and sexual relationships and ones tone and speech can be attractive to the opposite sex.
hb: (her body shifts my way--smile) Wow!
r: (I catch her accent) Yeah, I'm actually part of a dating forum online where we discuss dating and women. Are you an international student from Australia?
hb: Yeah! *smile* I'm from Australia, but I'm just visiting here for 3 days for a film. Where should I go visit? I want to go to (museum)
r: You have to go out and party--karaoke is fun
hb: haha, I hate karaoke! You like it huh?
r: What? Your crazy. Mmm...I don't know if I can hangout with you I really like to sing--it's awesome
[ we go back and forth for about 8 minutes; she is asking lots of questions]
r: Listen, I actually came over because I found you attractive and wanted to see what you were like.
hb: Aw, thank you! You're very nice to talk to, as well.
r: I actually, have to go to class, but let's hangout...what's your #?
hb: I don't have a number here Do you have Facebook?
r: I don't, but let's talk through email
hb: Sure, do you have your phone?
r: hands it over...what's your name?
hb: I'm Sophia, and you?
r: I'm Robyn. Come here and give me a hug
hb: Stands up immediately and gives me a tight hug.
r: Cool, check your email
hb: I will

I sent her a follow up email with an invitation to go dancing with me. If she comes, awesome. If she doesn't, I had the courage to approach, sustain a convo, and tease a major babe. If nothing else, I got practice Will upfate if this changes.

 

[zenaddict]

the op has finally nailed his inner game

https://d22zlbw5ff7yk5.cloudfront.net/images/cm-32343-050ad5a70b9655.gif

 

[visions]

congrats and bringing up your self esteem. it's working wonders.

 

[OC Speedball]

You always had it in you, it's just breaking through and applying it.

I would say try to do a bit more teasing, especially on the hot girls. Like, I would have said, "At first I was gonna say you were just one of those Australian tourists here that just come to party."

Her: "Do I come off as that type of girl? Haha"
Me: "Yeah, a little."

As you walk up and approach make sure that you are imagining your giant balls hanging out of your pants. Go up with a smile and tease her like a little girl. Don't give a crap about anything.


You are still young! 20's is prime time for picking up girls, and this is made easier by the fact that you are in college. What I really loved when I first started all this, and started to hang out with girls and go on dates, was how much fun it is. You NEVER know who you are going to meet and what types of cool stuff they have going on in their lives. I know there is a lot of women hate on these forums, but there are a lot of truly cool and interesting girls out there. Not all of them are generic duds. I have so many awesome memories from all the girls I've hung out with.

I went out with a half Japanese girl and she showed me her dad's race cars in her garage. He had a Lotus and a Porsche 911 made for the track. I went out with an Egyptian girl who was filthy rich who picked me up in her twin turbo BMW; and she was an awesome conversationalist. I've gone to parties with a couple of girls I've met and met their friends as well; really fun times. I've gone to concerts, arcades, bars, etc. And then there are the girls that are just interesting, like this one girl who was supporting her Mom financially and taking care of her younger sister. There was an artsy chick who I just ended up becoming friends with and we would go record shopping together. Be truly interested in them and you can at least make some friends and get invited to stuff.

The point I'm making is, you are missing out on a lot if you stay in your comfort zone. A well-built ship isn't made to stay in the harbor...it's made to go out there and battle the rough seas.

Go forth and conquer.

 

[Masculinity]

"I don't contact her because it's been too long since we met"

You always had it in you, it's just breaking through and applying it. Go forth and conquer.

You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to OC Speedball again.


---------------------------------------------------------

Moving on, I have noticed many guys in here (myself formerly one of them) believe that there is such a thing as "it has been too long since I got her number" to contact her. I have a short FR to share to refute it:

I met this hb7 at a party about 9 months ago. She was a mentor for a university program and I was one of the mentees. I saw her sitting down on a couch and noticed a set of nice, broad hips and a small waist (really, who doesn't want that?). So I approached and introduced myself. I then proceeded with direct game, "I came over because I find you attractive and wanted to make sure you aren't a creepo" or something along those lines. She loved it, but her friend (the grenade) got jealous and pulled her away from me a few minutes later. I had my target cracking up and number closed right before the UG took her out of the party.

6 months go by and I am at my new university. I just got a new job and I am filling out paperwork, woohoo! Guess who is my coworker? Yep, hb7 haha.
I kept acting cool. I did call her a few days after I met her, but it was a busy time for her (and for myself) so we moved forward without hurt feelings.

It has been about 3 months that she and I work together and she gives me IOI's here and there. She also throws sh!t tests to gauge my value and I pass them without a problem. There are a lot of feminists where I work (I know). Yet I keep my humanist views strong. Long story short, the other day I was working on a reading and she comes over to sit next to me. She starts a conversation and I can see she's interested from the way she looks at me. I know a lot of you wouldn't hang with girls from work, but heck this girl is actually pretty mature. So I went in and she's scheduling something in her computer:

r: leave saturday night open because that's out date
h: whaaat?
r: you heard me
h: I have to book this (XYZ) event and yada yada
r: Still, keep Saturday open
h: keeps smiling
r: (I tease her about something; I don't remember what, but she is loving it)
give me your hand.
h: uhhh...I don't know...last time I gave you my hand you got my number
r: that wasn't your hand, girl. That's called having game
h: (giggles)
r: (pulls phone out) I don't think I have your number anymore. You must have made me upset somehow, haha
h: (laughs), why don't you get it from the office?
r: nah, that's creepy. (hands over phone) put your number in my phone
h: lol you put it
r: I don't know it...here you go
h: punches number in

I later hear a conversation about how she broke up with her female friend (platonic), so I call her a loner. She responds with " lol yeah, I am kinda lonely" with a smirk on her face. I walk over to her and hug her while running my hands up and down her back and shoulders. She smiles and I say " I have to go, but I'll call ya."

A day later I call her and set up a date. She sh!t tests me again saying that what I am suggesting sounds kind of romantic. I respond with "so, what's wrong with that? I usually don't hangout with people from work because it complicates things, but I am taking a chance here, so don't make me regret it." She's laughing and agrees but says she recently broke up with her ex. I answer with "alright, worst case scenario, we'll be friends and behave professionally at work and best case scenario you'll have a charming, funny, and cool guy in your life " She is cracking up and agrees to hangout Saturday night. I have a date! And if worse comes to worse, she will be moving out of state in a few months. Don't doubt yourself; it doesn't matter how long it has been; if she wants you, she will keep the doors open.

keep being money,

-R

PS: I'll update on the date

 

[Gunner26]

First off, congrats on the diagnosis going in your favour.

Second, I shall be following this thread I'm quite interested to see if your college studies have an effect on your interactions. I mean telling that Australian girl you were part of an online dating community almost as if it were part of your course sounded so much better than I ever could have put it haha

Keep up the good work

Gunner

 

[OC Speedball]

Good job with the office game. I liked it. Taking situations and using them to do pickup on the spot. It reminded me of another good one when girls leave. They usually say, "Bye! See you later!" You can immediately say back, "Oh, you'll see me later? Well let me mark the date down so I don't forget."

Also, what is the reasoning behind handing your phone to the girl to let her punch in her number? My other friend did this and I never understood it. Why can't you just say, "Give me your number," and punch it in yourself? Not saying you're wrong in doing this, I just want to know what the mentality behind it is.