Nicholas's journey...Let the game begin!

[Nicholas]

Mirror...Every single day I take look at it. Did that this morning, guess I'll do it tomorrow. But tonight, I'm standing in front of it. Oh no mister, this time I'm not checking my hair or teeth. This time I'm looking directly into my eyes, exploring the depths of my soul. The time has come to confront my everlasting enemy, myself.
Oh, I know dear strangers, there are some of you now saying "blah, here we go, another one ready to spit out his problems, crying out for help". No, please, do not waste not a single second here if there is a gorgeous girl waiting for you out there. This is not a moaning post, this is not for your entertainment (althrough I'd never mind if it is), this is a exclusive testemony for myself. Leave now, or be the jury.

The pendulum has been stopped.​

Enough with the poetic words. I'm 21 year old guy, from South-Eastern Europe, country named Republic of Serbia. As I've noticed most of you are from US, you might have heard for the place or not, even if you did chances are it was with bad connotation. But let's skip that story for now. The night I found this site, still can't remember how, I was thrilled. This site is pure gold. And I'm realising how lucky I was to find it with every another visit.
I'm college student of Economy and I'm doing very solid, I'm about half way to the degree. I live with my family (like 90% of young people here) in a big house. I have no income, my family is deep in debts, but that doesn't differ much from the most of people here. Overall the situation is not good, but it can be much worse. You may ask now, why does that matter? It will eventually get clearer.

So, lets have a turn to my social life. Up until mid 2010. I have had about 3-4 close friends. So I was pretty much dependable on them. Last year has been very solid, I've made a lot of progress in my social life, along with other areas. Now I have wider circle of friends, people I know/hang out with. That was the time I first came into contact with chicks, got friendlier and more talkative. Still, I was very much oriented to the future, not paying enough attention to the things going in the present.
I changed. Somehow I understood some things that I never even tried to. I've learned so much new things and may I say, made a huge turnover in my life. Got the new way of thinking, adopted new philosophies.

But I ended up in the line of "Nice guys". Yes, another one. I can't really blame myself, I never actually knew anything about women. I was mostly trapped in my dream land, eventally I'd get warmed up for some chick, but then again, let it go. That's the story of my love life. Zero. Null.

PROGRESS IN LOVE: []|||||||||||||||| 0 %

Never had sex, hell, never even kissed a girl (or I can't remember the last time). Shocked? The good thing is that, I never made progress not because of rejection, but rather to not trying. Never tried to kiss a girl. Never invited one out for a date. Of all the girls who flirted with me, I never used not a single chance. So here I am...joined with this great community, ready to start the new chapter in my life. I'm very ambitious person, I can not get satisfied with mediocrity, I thirst for knowledge and aim the very hights one can rich in life.

This is it. This is where my story begins. This is where I will track my walk through the path I am yet to construct. This is when the NEW objectives will be brought upon myself. The time is NOW.

LET THE PENDULUM SWING​

Let the game begin.​

 

[Mindgamez]

Wow NICE!
I can feel your power and motivation. It's very big! This actually got me more motivated while I was reading. I'll surely read sometimes about your journey. I know you'll be an awesome DJ someday. Never give up on your goals and dreams!

I should seriously start mine. Yep...

 

[Luke]

Looking foward to follow your journey on to greater things.

Keep improving, believe in yourself and dont let other people tell you what you can do.

 

[Nicholas]

Hello O o O o.
Thank you guys. I'll just say this > If you don't take notes of your progress you'r probably going to forget it and think you actually never made any.

So...it's been a while since I posted that little introduction from above. It has been a busy week for me, couldn't make myself to continue with my story here. Oh, it feels good when you are actually busy, doing other things in life, unlike playing games on PC for entire day'n'night. That's one of lousy habbits I'm getting rid of. Thinking of how much time I wasted on that...grrrr...makes me angry.

First of all, I realize now that I made a mistake putting this thread on High School Forum, I'm older than you guys and I need older people to join me in discussions (and much more people are on the other under-forum). So if any MODERATOR CAN MOVE MY THREAD TO "DON JUAN DISCUSSION" IT WOULD BE GREATLY APPRECIATED.

Anyway, tonight I'm gonna do a quick summary what changed in my life since my last post. I've changed my perspectives, I look things differently now. Before I cared about people, their reactions and used to please them. Oh, that was so wrong. I don't take bulls*** from anyone anymore. I checked a thread with 48 laws of power, and I realised if I ever wanted to be dominant I had to stop to give a crap what people need, want or like me to do. Well I guess we all know that now.

- Put yourself on first place....................................

I also had a lot of opportunities to talk to females, mostly 'friends' or just girls I know. I was focusing on eye contact and keeping myself comfortable, and also watching their reactions and body language. I was pretty confident and I noticed the difference from before when I was nervous around them. Still I haven't made any new contacts, so I expect my nervousness to appear again...I've also catched a lot of smiles and eye contacts. Seems I progressed on confidence scale.

Anyway I have some plans I've been delaying for like ages. So I'll write below a reminder to myself - what are my priorities and goals.

Priorities:

◙ Faculty obligations
◙ Working out/gaining weight
◙ Improving in social & love life
◘ Fixing and whitening my smile
◘ Online poker as a hobby and a chance for a possible future income

Still, I often find myself unable to get rid of my illusions of perfection. Still I'm giving myself reasons not to invest myself 100% in this change. There are a lot of objective factors that are affecting me, and I seem to be consistent in trying to figure out how to change things that just can't be affected in any way. That's a big fallacy in my mind, I'm often worrying about things. Well, since now I'm not.

- No more stress and worries about things I can't change....................................

I have a feeling of unreadyness. I seem unprepared. I'll just invent reasons to make myself think I'm not ready to jump into action.

"That chick is checking me out...wow, she's smiling now. I should approach. But wait, what should I say...hmm. Do I look alright in the first place? My hair, my clothes. Fvck my wardrobe, will I ever have freaking money to buy some nice outfit? *Lights a cigarette* Fvck, I should quit smoking. Maybe tomorrow."

WTF WAS THAT? Get out of my mind you b1tchy AFC! Well, guess no other way way to get that fkr out of my mind without making him leave himself, make him run away frightened forever. No better way than stepping up and being a man, taking things that you want. So, my new objective from now on is:

- Meet a HB and get her phone number.............................☐

Later. :rockon:

 

[Nicholas]

Hello fellas. Time to check in now, after party, while there's sweet taste of jagermeister in my mouth.

Tonight I went out with my friend, we decided to go have fun at that club called "Babylon". My 2nd time visiting. Nothing special happened. I used the opportunity to analyse the situation in order to put some perspective in future visits. Basically I was drinking and focusing myself on the first place. Here's what I noticed.

I wasn't dressed up as I would like, my outfit probably made me look a bit serious so I wasn't actually shining among the mases. Anyway I realised I need some clothes that will make me feel comfortable, so I can be more confident and get rid of "Am I looking good thoughts?" that are buzzing me. It's a lousy situation with $$$ until the next month and I do actually have a lot of faculty obligations, so I probably won't be going to clubs until then. I will use that time to consider my 'new style'.

Step by step.

I noticed very interesting thing also. I don't have much money, no fancy wardrobe, I'm skinny and have no car, or a place to take a HB for a crazy night (without waking my entire family). My very good friend I was with, he just has all that. Cash, fancy looks, great body, fancy car, most of the time empty appartment. He's intelligent and more experienced than I am. But he didn't get a girl also. Not now, not last time. So what's really going on? He is passive just like me, checking out chicks and their buts, he would like to take one or two of them home. But why didn't he? So I realise now deeply, you may look nearly perfect, have all these things and still you can't make any progress without TRYING. The real battle is actually going on in your brain tissue, and only if you train your mind and get the right mindset you can focus crucial things and follow your desires. I know you'r gonna say it's mentioned for a 100th time, but it's really important to me to make this conclusions.

To be clear, my goal is not to get some lays, few numbers or some slut to absorb my self-pity. I don't want that. I DO want to be in that 20% guys fvcking 80% of the gals. Hell, I want to be in top 5%! If it's gonna take some time, well, I waited up until now, no reason to rush into anything. But I do need to change to be more active person. It's hard, but that's the only road I can take. I have to.

My question now is...
Should a non-experienced guy take a shot with a chick below his standards, just for the sake of experience?
You may think what standards...well I am picky and I would never give a gnome a chance with me, but maybe I should stop looking for flaws and just give it a shot.
You can also see my situation, I may be not a great catch in most of girls' eyes, but I do consider myself humorous, charming and have great manners - I am genleman. Every now and than, maybe even every day I get eyes/smiles from hot chicks that aren't arrogant and can see further than their own nose. Most of the time it probably means nothing, but I deffinitely have potential.

But it's like I have holes in my mind. It's like having a semi-solved puzzle, and you can't put it all toghether. You don't know how! Experience, once more. I'll rephrase other guys' post - I am afraid that I will ruin my image that other people have on me. I'm stopping to care about that. Afterall I don't even get anything if they think I'm cool or smth. I must take what I want.

Generally it seems it will take time for all of this knowledge (that's widely known among most of you) to incorporate in myself as a person. Passivity -> Activity.

I could spend all night writing here, where the hell I get the inspiration you might wonder. Truth be told, you guys inspire me.

Thanks.

 

[iwanttofight]

Hey, I give you mad props for telling the world about your sexual experiences or lackof . You have a good mindset. Don't worry slowly but surely you will become great with women.