Nexted the girl I love

[DJSavvy]

Feelin a bit down.

A bit of background, dated a girl for 3 years, broke up 8 months ago. Tried to get her back with no luck, tried very hard; but still she needed her time, not ready for a commitment, etc.

So yesterday I saw her and told her that I could not just be friends, I can not be just your friend, I can't keep investing myself in a girl who is not reciprocal. I know it's the right thing to do, but It makes me feel like crap!

What goes through a woman's head when an ex bf who they still care about says goodbye, they're giving up on them?

 

[WC2]

What's going through her head?

Probably that you've lost your testicles since you stopped dating.

You next her for a good reason (hopefully). And now you're totally rethinking your decision and going against what was your word. If I were to guess, you are probably telling yourself now that you shouldn't have nexted her for such a stupid reason (even though it probably IS a good reason).

I don't blame this girl for not being reciprocal. See, women LOSE interest when men cave in to their decisions.

The only possible way to start this relationship up healthy again is if your woman decidedly wants something with you again and you let her work her way up into it.

This whole deal with you changing your mind and begging for her back is not something that a man who has his sh!t together does. Women want men with their sh!t together who don't necessarily need a gal to make them feel whole.

My advice? Forget this chick for now, achieve your goals and aspirations, improve yourself, and of course spin some plates. It's not worth stressing over one girl. I know this is at least your 2nd post on this, so I already know you could have spent this time to improve yourself and spit some game to new girls. Get on it!

 

[The Bat]

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=90482
Spin more plates.

There is a user on here called DannyKDJ who went through the same thing you're going through now. Search him and private message him. He might be able to connect with you on a better level than any of us can (unless somebody is going through the same thing).

Don't worry about what's going on through her head. She could be thinking, "Oh thank god, he is gone. Finally. Thought I could never get rid of him and move on." Or she could be thinking, "Oh no, he is gone. Now who will be there to give me attention and talk to me about my feelings and other guys when I need him to? Crap..I have to get him back so I have somebody to go to." Or she could be thinking, "He finally grew a pair. Good for him."

So you see, it does not matter to you at this point what she is thinking. It does you no good because each one of those instances (and I could come up with more) paints you in a negative, useless picture.

It will not be productive for you.

Only thing productive for you now to do would be to read that thread I posted and put that theory into action.

 

[DJDamage]

What goes through a woman's head when an ex bf who they still care about says goodbye, they're giving up on them?

The decision regarding you was made a long time ago.

I take it that she was the one that dumped you. Well then she has already gone through the motions in her head that there is a good chance she could lose you forever after dumping you, and guess what?

She was fine with it. If she wasn't then you would still be in the picture.

Congradulation of severing the last cord of her tentacles that were still attached to you. You wasted 8 months in agony for nothing, next time when a woman ends things and you don't want that, do not settle for anything less then and just walk away.

 

[dannyegg4575]

I feel your pain. The guys in here are trying to cheer you up and get you to move on.

3 years is a long time. It's not an easy thing to do. What you need to do now is to start learning to let go. go through the emotions you went through, accept as quickly as possible that this is now a reality.

Don't suppress any anger or anything. Get angry. Start going out to the gym and use that anger on the weights. And start hanging out with your buddies. You'll start to see why these guys tell you what they did.

if you anyone to talk to, we're here for you. and if you need to PM me to hear what you have to say, I'm just a PM away.

Like DonS said, good luck.