New problem I've been coming across "everything happened so fast"

[tryst type]

This is the the third time I've experienced this now.

Here's the pattern:

-Girl is usually shy or seems nervous. Sometimes it comes across as disinterest.
-Girl doesn't give clear IOIs/doesn't respond well to kino
-Girl ends up sleeping with me on the first night

Then afterwards or the next day I get a text along the lines of "I had fun and you seem great but this all happened so fast and I'm just not ready"

So basically I get laid, they enjoy it, but then bail.

Is it something I'm doing wrong or something I'm doing right? Lol

 

[thatfeel]

it's a sh!t test nothing more.

 

[GotED?]

I don't do ONS but I heard this is a woman's 'Buyer's Remorse' afterwards.

I guess congratulate yourself on becoming a male slut??

Exodus

 

[tryst type]

I don't do ONS but I heard this is a woman's 'Buyer's Remorse' afterwards.

I guess congratulate yourself on becoming a male slut??

Exodus

I've encountered it in the past when we'd just fool around and not have sex as well. It's only recently that it made me think of other times I've encountered same thing after.

 

[Igetit!]

I don't do ONS but I heard this is a woman's 'Buyer's Remorse' afterwards.

Bingo.....


This is gonna sound crazy,but you moved too fast.....just like the girls said.


It really just all depends on what your GOAL is....

If all you want is sex,well mission accomplished,you got it.
If you just want one night stands,well you got that too.


If you want anything else besides that,like a possible long term or short term relationship,you need to slow down a bit. You said.....

-Girl ends up sleeping with me on the first night

The chick ends up sleeping with you the first night you meet her. She might enjoy the sex,but afterwards,she realizes you two don't really know each other that well and starts to feel like a slvt. She also starts to think that YOU THINK she's a slvt. So she'll start to avoid you to avoid the slvtty feeling she gets around you. So again....


If you want something BEYOND a one-time sexual experience with the chick,you might wanna pump the brakes a bit and not rush to the bedroom so fast. Keep doing everything you've been doing to get the attraction going,but stop short of sex. Maybe toss one more addition date off in there,THEN GO for the tail.

You just need to add a bit more "comfort",that's all.

 

[Trump]

This is the the third time I've experienced this now.

Here's the pattern:

-Girl is usually shy or seems nervous. Sometimes it comes across as disinterest.
-Girl doesn't give clear IOIs/doesn't respond well to kino
-Girl ends up sleeping with me on the first night

Then afterwards or the next day I get a text along the lines of "I had fun and you seem great but this all happened so fast and I'm just not ready"

So basically I get laid, they enjoy it, but then bail.

Is it something I'm doing wrong or something I'm doing right? Lol

LOL. We always want sex REALLY quickly with the hot girl, and THEN we want her to turn into a 1950s housewife.

Bro if you want a "relationship" in 2014, you can't sleep with a girl the first night. You have to let get to know you, trust you, believe in you, etc, etc, etc. She's attracted to you to sleep with you, so you are doing that right. But if you want a relationship, a girl who drops her pants within hours of meeting you may not be the most level headed, trust worthy, respectful girl you want to bring home to mama.

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

Last two responses on here, never thought I'd see the day

BeDJ's somewhere puking his brains out after reading this.

 

[TheCWord]

If you want something BEYOND a one-time sexual experience with the chick,you might wanna pump the brakes a bit and not rush to the bedroom so fast. Keep doing everything you've been doing to get the attraction going,but stop short of sex. Maybe toss one more addition date off in there,THEN GO for the tail.

You just need to add a bit more "comfort",that's all.

But Mr. Igetit, how are we to reconcile this slowing things down with what we are taught on here about girls losing interest if you're not manning up and escalating when she wants you to?

Bro if you want a "relationship" in 2014, you can't sleep with a girl the first night. You have to let get to know you, trust you, believe in you, etc, etc, etc. She's attracted to you to sleep with you, so you are doing that right. But if you want a relationship, a girl who drops her pants within hours of meeting you may not be the most level headed, trust worthy, respectful girl you want to bring home to mama.

Same question to you, Mr. Trump. We talk so much about girls losing attraction if you don't try to bed them... you spend too much time trust-building and trying to be the good guy that she'll hook up with a guy who is more action oriented.

It's a funny thing to complain about on a site when some guys here are still looking for their first lay, but I never have any trouble conjuring up purely sexual relationships. Problem is all of these girls, some of whom I have genuinely liked, see me as a good f*ck and not much more.

Edit: Also, a common thing said on here, and this comes straight from the book of Play Her Man, is just keep f*cling her until she asks for a relationship. That's your only job. I wonder if anyone on here has had a successful LTR with a quality girl come from that philosophy? Or by doing that am I just always going to be the guy she has fun with but when it comes time to settle she'll go for someone a little less sexually aggressive?

I think the basis for the just-keep-f*cking thinking is that girls want to tame the wild man.

 

[tryst type]

I've had "one night stands" before but it never conjured up the repetitive responses I've been getting lately about things moving too fast.

I figure if the girl isn't pumping the brakes when things get physical regardless if it's on the first night then it's a green light to sex.

That's why I've been a little stumped afterwards. I'm used to the girl stopping things from escalating when I test and advance during a make out.

 

[Gut_79]

First of all, sorry for my english. This thread got me to register here. If a girl sleeps with you the first night, she usually isn´t a relationship material. She may see you as alpha to fvck (=ONS or FB) or provider (=withdraws sex). If you don´t try to sleep with her as fast as you can, you never know what type SHE is. Do you want a LTR with a girl who has been a slvt to everyone else but you? This is the most important part of the screening process. It doesn´t make any difference whether you want an ONS or LTR. Be fast. Also, there is always a guy who takes things faster, if you are slow. Taking things slow is investing to something that rarely pays off.

 

[mv.89]

"I had fun and you seem great but this all happened so fast and I'm just not ready"

Try replying back saying

"Well you can say that again" or or

"Amen to that"

just for the kind of reactions you'll get , I bet you'd get a good laugh out of it. lolol

 

[_sideways_]

Good point Gut....There is always someone going faster or slower. So u gotta be just right.
And also...It should be fun for you to go fast or slow or mix it up because there's a new chick every minute.

 

[tryst type]

I usually respond: "tell me about it, it just all seemed to happen so naturally though"

I've had that calm them down and I move on and not bring sex up but it almost always makes them bring it up again and they just withdraw entirely.

 

[Tictac]

So your seduction game is 'A' level. But sometimes you'd like another date.

Really want to fire them up (at the risk of having them not show for date #2)?

Escalate like crazy, then stop and say you have to go, but you'd like to see her again. Even better, get an 'urgent call' that you have to leave to handle.

 

[Igetit!]

But Mr. Igetit, how are we to reconcile this slowing things down with what we are taught on here about girls losing interest if you're not manning up and escalating when she wants you to?

Well like I said before,it kinda depends on what you want.


If all you want is sex,then full speed ahead....go for it. If it's just sex and/or one night stands,then by all mean,bang her as soon as possible. But from what the OP said,it seems like he gets the sex,but when he tries to see or hang out with her afterwards,she ups and disappears.

Same question to you, Mr. Trump. We talk so much about girls losing attraction if you don't try to bed them...

That's true,but the OP said he sleep with the girls on the SAME NIGHT he meets them. Then afterwards,they start talking about things happening "so fast". A girl WILL lose attraction if you take too long to try to bed her,that's true.....but DAMN......the same night you meet her???

I think it's safe to at least go out on ONE date before trying to bed her.


And again...if it's just sex you want,fine.....then sleep with her. But if it's some type of relationship.....ANY TYPE......be it long term,short term,FWB...whatever.....she's gonna need some comfort......BEFORE sex. Otherwise,after sex is over and the arousal dies down,she's gonna look over at this "stranger" lying next to her and start to feel like a H0.


Haven't you ever heard of "Coyote Ugly"? (Not the movie). Google it.

you spend too much time trust-building and trying to be the good guy that she'll hook up with a guy who is more action oriented.

What do you mean by spending "too much time" building trust? Didn't you read the OP's post? He said he sleeps with the chick the SAME NIGHT he meets them. All I was suggesting he do was go on at least ONE date,then he can go for the sex. You act like you have a scarcity mentality,like if you don't get the sex right then,RIGHT NOW,then the world is gonna come to an end.


If the OP meets a girl on Monday night,it's ok to get a little physical,exchange numbers,then maybe set up a date for Wednesday or Thursday. It's not oxygen to where to gotta have it RIGHT NOW,it's just a chick.

Edit: Also, a common thing said on here, and this comes straight from the book of Play Her Man, is just keep f*cling her until she asks for a relationship.

That sounds right to me,I agree. But from what I understood,the OP CAN'T f*ck the chick a 2nd time cause she get's buyer's remorse and disappears after the first. I agree you should keep having sex with a chick til she asks for a relationship,but how can you repeatedly keep having sex with her if she bolts and starts avoiding you?


The OP said that this is something he's been running into a lot lately. He's trying to have sex with the girls multiple times,but they keep leaving.


So he's trying to "keep having sex with them til they ask for a relationship".....but they leave. It's like THE GIRLS keep saying,it's moving too fast. You think it's a coincidence that all these DIFFERENT girls all keep saying the SAME thing?


His attraction game is golden,he just needs to add some comfort in. You can get sex,sex,sex with attraction,but you won't get a relationship without comfort.

 

[tryst type]

Great tips guys. I guess I what it comes down to is I'm escalating fast physically waiting for them to put a stop to it if they're not wanting to, but they don't so I assume all is good.

From now on I'll be the one to play that card. I'll stop when it's hot and heavy and say "it's going too fast" or something to suggest I'd like to see her again instead of just get laid.

 

[Trump]

Same question to you, Mr. Trump. We talk so much about girls losing attraction if you don't try to bed them... you spend too much time trust-building and trying to be the good guy that she'll hook up with a guy who is more action oriented.

You are right. Like our bro PHM said, it is not in the mans best interest to seek a relationship in 2014 unless you have tons of leverage (i.e she is poor, wants kids at a young age, not pretty, etc, etc , etc) All you should do is sleep with her.

On a side note, that's why shouldn't get married unless she is planning to get pregnant in 2 months after the marriage. If you are already getting everything outside the marriage, why would you get married if you are not planning to have kids? You have to be able to sell yourself and make her want to be with you at all times, without the benefit of a piece of paper.

It's a funny thing to complain about on a site when some guys here are still looking for their first lay, but I never have any trouble conjuring up purely sexual relationships. Problem is all of these girls, some of whom I have genuinely liked, see me as a good f*ck and not much more.

Yeah its funny bro, its almost as if 2014 girls don't need guys unless its for sex. They want kids, but they dont want to create a family, establish unity, fight for morality, work for money, help society. They all want to be on the housewives on beverly hills, with a nanny taking care of their kids. Not saying its right or wrong, just the way it is.

Edit: Also, a common thing said on here, and this comes straight from the book of Play Her Man, is just keep f*cling her until she asks for a relationship.

 

[Jaylan]

Basically thats a female player line.

She got what she wanted (sex), but shes not feeling it enough for it to go past that encounter.

Simple. No need for you guys to spin your own hamster wheels on it.

 

[Bokanovsky]

-Girl is usually shy or seems nervous. Sometimes it comes across as disinterest.
-Girl doesn't give clear IOIs/doesn't respond well to kino
-Girl ends up sleeping with me on the first night

How do you progress from her being nervous and not responding to kino to sleeping with her on the first date?

 

[IndeedSir]

How do you progress from her being nervous and not responding to kino to sleeping with her on the first date?

If your attraction game is good and she's even remotely attracted to you physically, you'll hit all the switches to get her fired up. It's a difficult game and one I struggle with but it's just about pure seduction. Think James Bond.