Never been kissed

[El_Indio]

I was just wondering if anyone could relate to me. Im 20 years old, gonna be 21 in like 5 months and ive never been kissed. Needless to say ive never had a girlfriend. I feel like such a loser for being the way i am. I also have no friends. I pretty much just go to school and then to work and then home. I don't go out. Last time I hung out with friends was back in highschool. I guess i was social back then. I mean, I don't think im asocial, I just don't talk to people unless I have to (to get homework, notes in class). When I think of where ill be in like 5 years, i see myself alone in an apt with like 8 cats.. haha j/k. most likely a dog. I'll probably never have a girlfriend, and probably die being a virgin. It's sad and pathetic, I know. Has anyone else been through this?

 

[il_duce]

Yes.

Not to make you feel bad or anything...I can't really relate to the having no friends part, but I can relate to everything else you said. I'm almost 19, and in practically the same situation with women. It's not like I'm ugly or anything, in fact, chicks do approach me occaisonally...even hot ones. But I guess I've gotta admit that I really do lack the confidence to approach them.

You could just say I miss my chances with women. All the ****ing time.

Take life by the horns and get out more, meet people. I should be taking my own advice.

 

[jbbrain]

boys-come on now..

newbies read the don juan bible found at the top right of the screen. No exceptions.

Have fun with it.

 

[il_duce]

I've already read it...maybe I need a refresher.

 

[MVPlaya]

Indo,

So you're not happy with your life right now. What the ƒuck does "I'll probably die a virgin and its sad as hell. haha" mean? What is this ƒucking sarcastic self pity. Check out our bible and do the bootcamp, and learn to talk to people. I can understand the guy whose 70 and says to his kid, "son, I ƒucked up, if I could change things I would but I can't." I don't understand the 20 year old who's wishing his life away so that he can die lonely. Get out there, people are much more sociable than you think. Maybe you just need time to break out or something.

 

[Panther]

I was more or less like you, a couple of years ago.

Guess what: things have improved amazingly! there is still a long way to go though

 

[chancer357]

I'm 27 and iI have never so much as had a girl even flit with me or give me any kind of posative body language or anything.

 

[Nightspark]

hrrm i was in your situation about 2 years ago... (just not the friends part of it) it got to me sometimes but i basically had to do something about it...

i started going out more and more and eventually i got to who i'am today... someone who know sees that time is precious and that i must make the most out of it...

approach girls, talk to them! easy as that!

But DO READ the DJ BOOTCAMP BOOK! it helped me boost my confidence and all! highly reccommend it...

good luck! and practice till you are one of the bests!

 

[chancer357]

There are cases where all the stuff in the dj bible won't help.

I'm not good looking, I'm not strong, I'm quiet. Girls hate me before I open my mouth.

I've been in situations where someone will have tried to set me up with a friend. The girl I'm being setup with makes up her mind that she dislikes me before I can introduce myself. Literally, I'm not exaggerating. They'll be sitting by thier friend and tell the friend as much. Then, since its sort of a group situation, the friend who did the setting up tells me its not happening.

I'm nice, I dress the same as everyone else, I try to make conversation. I'm just not an attractive person. Thats just the hand I got dealt, can't do much about that. If you aren't physically attractive, then you just aren't going to be creating any kind of attraction.

 

[MFDoom]

I'm nice, I dress the same as everyone else

Don't try to dress like everyone else, man. I'm not saying go out and change your style to some outlandish style, but try and put your own spin on things. Girls can tell when you are just trying to "fit in" or when you've got your own things going on.

Plus if you keep telling yourself that you aren't attractive, then you will never have the self-esteem to get a chick to respect and become interested in you.

 

[chancer357]

I don't understand how what I tell myself will affect antyhing. Girls don't like what they see before they are even physically close enough to talk to. I could think I was great, but I will look the same & get the same reaction. No amount of confidence or self-esteem can change that

 

[MFDoom]

Self esteem goes a long way. Have you read the DJ bible yet? There's a lot of information in there that would be helpful to you. Check that stuff out and you will understand what I'm saying.

 

[chancer357]

I have read it. It has never made a difference

 

[MFDoom]

You can't be so down on yourself. You need to open up your mind and realize that just by walking and breathing, you are performing something amazing. Every single one of us has something unique about them. You just gotta show of what you've got man.

 

[SDBmania]

I was and or still am in your position. I'm 22 and have never had a girlfried, but I am social. You just have to find some people at school that you can be friendly with. The only reason I have never had a girl friend before is because I usually get rejected. Just read the bible, that will help. Focus on making friends first.

 

[ShortTimer]

Kissing really isn't that difficult, you do it once or twice and you've pretty much got it down. Don't stress over it, it's not complicated or anything and you'll learn fast.

 

[Hubris]

I might be a little weird, but I've got another way to think that works for me.

Nobody is special. Nobody is unique.

That guy, who's seeing the hot girl, the difference between him and me is almost zero. Anything he has I can get. Anything that I have, he's probably too stupid to be able to acquire.

The CEO of a huge company isn't that much different from me. The guy who macks girls every night isn't that much different either.

With just a little action on my part, I can have what any other male on earth has. And I can do it better.


----
Of course, my philosophy won't work for everyone. So just try whatever works. I grew up with Nirvana and grunge music, that may be why I take the "no one's special" approach.

 

[khanboy]

Dude, I know exactly what you're going through. I went through High School with practically no interaction with the opposite sex. Except for the last week where I got rejected 10 times, lol.

Anyway, I went a whole year reading posts upon posts from ASF. Looking for chicks to approach, but never approaching for I was a major sissy. Finally, I got PISSED OFF at my total inaction and busted out the beginning of this school year. Been approaching chicks on a fairly regular basis.


chancer357 has a point. It doesn't matter if you see yourself like the next suicide victim or a mack daddy. All that is merely feelings. You can tell yourself you're a player till you're blue in the face, doesn't mean you are or will be.

Thoughts and feelings exist in the mind and honestly aren't much help.
Action is where the results come from. Approaching chicks regardless of how you feel is the road to becoming great with women.

Be a man of action,
khanboy

 

[MetalFortress]

Originally posted by chancer357
There are cases where all the stuff in the dj bible won't help.

I'm not good looking, I'm not strong, I'm quiet. Girls hate me before I open my mouth.

I've been in situations where someone will have tried to set me up with a friend. The girl I'm being setup with makes up her mind that she dislikes me before I can introduce myself. Literally, I'm not exaggerating. They'll be sitting by thier friend and tell the friend as much. Then, since its sort of a group situation, the friend who did the setting up tells me its not happening.

I'm nice, I dress the same as everyone else, I try to make conversation. I'm just not an attractive person. Thats just the hand I got dealt, can't do much about that. If you aren't physically attractive, then you just aren't going to be creating any kind of attraction.

Holy cow, you can't be serious. Saying that the DJ Bible says nothing about your situation is like saying that a Limp Bizkit lyric sheet has no swearing in it.

First off, you're not good looking. You're not strong. The second one is the easiest to do something about. Learn how to get strong via weight training methods. Once you can toy with a barbell with a couple hundred lbs attached to it, you will definitely look, feel, and BE stronger. As for being good looking, everyone has the ability to maximize what they've been given. You can't just not try and then call that the hand you've been dealt.

Also, dressing the same as everyone else is a mistake too. Who wants to talk to someone who tries to be a clone? Be different.

 

[MetalFortress]

Originally posted by chancer357
I don't understand how what I tell myself will affect antyhing. Girls don't like what they see before they are even physically close enough to talk to. I could think I was great, but I will look the same & get the same reaction. No amount of confidence or self-esteem can change that

High confidence and self-esteem will lead to it NOT MATTERING TO YOU whether girls like you or not.