Need some insight on my possible attitude problem...

[tinctrar]

Hey fellas...

I have always been opinionated on various topics and I know for sure that I never have a problem holding back.

Recently I had a debate with a friend of a friend about GDP and such. I factually backed up my argument while she (yes she...lol) couldnt come close.

The guy friends (beyond AFC) that are friendly with her backed her up on the argument...which I let slide because they are AFC.

On to the point...lately I have felt like either im too pretentious or I am picking the wrong people to be friendly with. My social circle seems to change quite a bit lately - however this skepticism is growing inside of me and I am becoming more cautious of who I really consider "friends"

Am I just getting older, going crazy, or doing the right thing?

Thanks for your comments.

 

[Warrior74]

While you might have been right...what was your tone? Where you condescending? Did you come off as an ******* or pretentious? The sad part is, if you did, you probably won't think that you did, and if you suspect you did you'll probably try to justify it.

I have a buddy who always has to be right. Even when he is right, he's such a douche about it...it rubs everyone the wrong way. He's way too serious over sh1t that really doesn't matter in the course of life. Where as if I'm right and he keeps arguing, I don't try to prove I'm right, I just let him be wrong. I will usually say...maybe I'm wrong, but I think XYZ, I could be mistaken. Whereas he would say, No! Your wrong. This is right. I'm telling you, you don't know what you're talking about. Which defiantly rubs people the wrong way. Think about it...

I'll also say this about that same friend. He really has nothing else in life to hang his hat on. He has no woman, no success, no job, he's nearing 30 and lives at home with his parents. He's a trainwreck. If letting him feel right gives him some ego gratification...i'll give him that...he doesn't have much else.

Like mama and grandma used to say, it ain't what you say baby, is how you say it.

 

[tinctrar]

Hi Warrior!

Thanks for the insight...my tone was normal...it was just a conversation...

Im really more concerned about who to keep as friends in my life right now...

Thankfully, I do have a job, my own place, my family lives 3000 miles away from me - and I am spinning plates as well.

I have been trying to give this more thought - I need to look a little deeper and find whats up.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

What do you want from a friend? What purpose do they serve? Are they there to agree with your well informed opinions? Or are they to enjoy life with?

I'm reminded of a scene of a movie that was a remake of a french film. Two old guys were talking about why one of them likes young women so much. One old guy said the other old guy should date women his own age.

This is his retort (paraphrased):

"People always say 'what are you going to talk about?' Well, young girls are in the moment, they feel, they laugh. If I want to talk about the S&P 500 I'll call my fukking broker."

Perhaps you should reserve your discussions of the GDP for like minded people, friends or not. Those kinds of things require some higher level thought, and most people aren't willing to put in their own effort and will only echo what the media tells them, as well as what their intuition tells them.

I love science (especially the hard sciences), evolution, biology, but my best friend doesn't know crap about science. But he is my best friend because when I was down and out, he didn't hesitate to help me, both financially and emotionally. He is my best friend because we share many other interests. He trusted me with his kids when they were less than six months old. I trust him with the details of my deepest, darkest sexual escapades.

When I want to talk science I hang out with science geeks.

 

[Trader]

Hey fellas...

I have always been opinionated on various topics and I know for sure that I never have a problem holding back.

Recently I had a debate with a friend of a friend about GDP and such. I factually backed up my argument while she (yes she...lol) couldnt come close.

The guy friends (beyond AFC) that are friendly with her backed her up on the argument...which I let slide because they are AFC.

On to the point...lately I have felt like either im too pretentious or I am picking the wrong people to be friendly with. My social circle seems to change quite a bit lately - however this skepticism is growing inside of me and I am becoming more cautious of who I really consider "friends"

Am I just getting older, going crazy, or doing the right thing?

Thanks for your comments.

When I want to talk science I hang out with science geeks.

Agreed.

To the OP: how in the world do you get into discussions on GDP with a girl?

And why would you want to?

Wax philosophical with your guy friends only.

 

[tinctrar]

Taiyuu! There is no doubt that if you were here we would be buddies. I love discussing science as well. And you are right...I do have friends who I do not discuss certain topics with - for it is not in the best interest and they tend to believe just what it given to them by the mainstream media.

Trader - You hit the nail on the head. This girl "friend" of mine is not the most deep person I have met...as a matter of fact her best accomplishment in life was starring on an MTV show not long ago.

The discussion was introduced by her while others argued thier opinions. Because of my work background in finance I was able to rationally and factually argue my point. Wrong group to do so in. There was my mistake.

 

[Trader]

Trader - You hit the nail on the head. This girl "friend" of mine is not the most deep person I have met...as a matter of fact her best accomplishment in life was starring on an MTV show not long ago.

And I know you didn't say this - but just to make it clear - there is nothing wrong or bad about the fact that you cannot discuss the complexities of GDP with her.

The discussion was introduced by her while others argued thier opinions. Because of my work background in finance I was able to rationally and factually argue my point. Wrong group to do so in. There was my mistake.

What I am more interested in figuring out: 'Why did she not submit to your opinion on GDP given the fact that you are the residential expert in the group?'

I know you are not trying to game her or anything but the context of *frame* does come up in different ways in non-sexual social interactions.

I'm not saying she is disrespecting you but clearly she is not giving you the full respect that you deserve.