Need some good advice.

[SinisaD]

Hi there everyone, I am new to your forums and have been reading over your site for a few days now sence I found it. I like how you all help eachother out and give sound advices to people who are less experianced in the dating /// gettin girls part hehe .

I would calssify my self as a above avg. lookin guy, good personality, funny, but quite shy if I may ad.... I am 19 yrs old and have been in just a few relationships. I don't have a hard time talking to girls but my main problem is I am not good at all asking girls out. I am currently in collge and am actually not ashamed to ask for an adivce sence am not that experianced whith girls and I hope that some of you may give me a sound advice on a certain development and my overall aproach. I am also gona say am sorry if THIS has come up before... or if I skiped over it while reading your forums and site.

A while ago in my chemistry a above avg. lookin girl I never talked to initiated a convo with me... I was talkin in my native language... after I was done she asked me what language was that I said what it was... she said she tought it was just her imaginin things I said no and etc... did a lil bit more small talk and that was it.. Didnt talk to her after that. A while later in our lab... We finished it I went for my next class and stoped for at vending machine to get a bottle of water... Friend cameo ut of lab said that girl was askin about me.. I said what she asked and he said she asked for my name.. I was like no way she asked about me and other guy from class said that she did too.. I then continued on to my class... A while later a week or in our class as it ended I was packin my books and she turned around asked me if I could maybe help her go over the test in which we all did pretty badly I said yeah sure. She asked for my number and I gave it to her.. also I asked for her number as well... she told me she would call me to set up a time when we could go over the test... Well that day I came home was takin shower she called and left a msg. saying " she was sorry she asked me to help her and if I didnt have any time she could maybe find somebody eals and that i give her a call" I did and we talked and iunno how we got into sports but she said she played softball I was like thats like awsome that she is playin sports and she said she had a game tonite and asked if I wanted to come... I said yes I would like to come... and that was it.. So we met up at the baseball field 1 hr before game... We had a beeor or 2 before game talked a bit had quite nice time.. she touched my leg a few times.. and I made a bit of fun of her for touchin me hehe ... she knew i was just jokin... we had good time game ended I asked if she was hungry so we went grabed some food. Had a really long convo.... yeah she was very open to me sigh asked me even If i was a virgin which I said I was... didnt really care... she said is there any reason i told here there was never a good mood for it.. and i asked her if she was and she said " i cant say that i am".... and we just continued talking was fun nite. after dinner we were gona leave she said she couldent belive how long we were talikn... we were going to our cars... and were about to part she said she had a game on wed... and if i maybe wanted to come... I said I will let her know.. she said ok coo and we left... The next day she txted me again (note I didnt yet respond to her question from that nite) askin if I wanted to come to the game... I txted back sayin yes... So came wed.. we talked in class a bit... and told me after class she will call me about when the game was... Well I was leaving with my friend threw halway another guy older guy about mid 40's really cool started talkin to her and said why was she blushin she was like "shut up" to him which I heard all of it... and just kept walkin... the guy cought up to us and was like yeah u go dude... u know what am talkin about to me... I was like what... he was like yeah that girl likes u a lot... so yeah... mid wed... about umm 2pm she msged me sayin the game might be off due to rain and wondered if I maybe wanted to do soemthing eals if game was off and also ading no pressure with a haha in the msg... I was like yes sure we can do soemthing she msged sayin "good haha" and that was it. She later msged sayin game was off and stuff and was wondering what we could do.. I asked if she wanted to go bowling she said yes... she asked for my address so we could go together because she lives in a diff city about 30 mins from where I am... so yeah she came to my house and we left together on our way there she got called sayin the game was on... " i tought to my self omfg wtf!" and yeah so we went togame was freezing... During breaks she seemed to have huged and held me so she keeps warm.. then I held her as well.. game ended... nite was runied even tho game was fun lol... we went for dinner she held my hand we talked for a while and stuff she said she couldent belive how much we talked... so came thursday we met up to go ever test... didnt really do much ended up talikin.. she was very open to me and stuff... so we were leaving then she held my hand again... After that we didnt go on a date.... she was bussy works like 12 hrs sat + sunday each and cople hours a day normal days... so no time to meet up during the next week so we just talked after our classes and stuff... I always txted her or called she never seemed to call me or msg first.... o yes on that thursday I kinda hinted that I liked her.... didnt tell her but in our talk... after we left she msged me back sayin she liked me and that she didnt think I liked her... and so on... and I said then that I did! sigh maybe dumb but to go on with this long story.. fast forward to this week... she now seemed to hang out or talk to me less... and she kinda gave suspiciouse excuses well to me... sense am shy but am kinda very straight forward when dealin with chicks ... I asked her if I was now being just lead on or was I mastaken.. she msged me back saying that she liked me but wanted to be friends for now... and that she was too bussy for a relationship... I msged her back saying thats all I needed to know and that was it... I havent talked to her after that .... in lab I cought her few times lookin at me... but after lab i didnt talk to her..

Now when I found your site I see what some of the mistakes I did that had led me into this... I ask you is she really blowing me off with that friends for now excuse or does she really mean it... Because I do know she is very bussy! because of the amount of time she works... Currently I am playing the ignore game... I have not msged or called her in 4 days now and she hasent msged or called me yet.... am gona continue ignorin her without callin or txtin.... Its gona be hard because she sits infront me in class... I will talk to her if she says hi or something to me in class but that will be it.... So now I think I lost my " hard to get" advtg... with some of the stuff I did...

Thank you for advice ahead of time guys and I will post more info if you need it... Sorry if my Story was so long... :-(!

 

[Bussey]

Well see here's the problem... no where did YOU step up... She was making all the moves... according to your story, she asked you to her game, she invited you to her second game, she was the one who cuddled up to you, she was the one doing everything....

After the first game, or while she was holding onto you the second game you should have advanced the relationship...

That I think is the main problem. Be unavailable/busy for a while, then when she starts pursuing you again, then you can take the lead and advance it.

 

[Shrub]

Hey dude I'm 19 and go to university as well, damn it's a good place for hotties. Girls are usually quite open to meeting people in class, as everyone likes making new friends around campus. If you want to get with these hotties, however, you gotta have a policy of action more than words...otherwise you'll remain a class buddy.

You texted back and forth asking each other if you liked one another. Why? All that does is kill mystery/tension/attraction. Don't tell her you like her, SHOW her by kissing her on a date. Because you see each other in a platonic way (in class) all the time, at college it is perhaps easier to fall into the LJBF zone quicker, so action needs to be early. I've been there myself, not making a move on a girl that was attracted to me - quickly the whole concept of us as a couple lost its momentum. Then, at that point, the relationship becomes awkward (as shown by her avoiding you). I also agree with the Bussey, lead her.

you're story was long but the fine details etc were irrelevant - its a universal story that's happened to nearly every college student including me - the idea of you two as a couple will loose all momentum in her mind if you wait too long without making a move. To recover, keep being ellusive (like you're doing), keep developing a confident, attractive lifestyle and it wouldn't hurt for her to know you're popular with other chicks (which you are, now you're becoming a DJ). This will hopefully build that momentum back up in her mind and, like Bussey said, you won't make the same mistake again. But don't place too much importance on one girl.

 

[locarius]

She was throwing herself at you, hoping you would take over. You didn't, and now she thinks you are gay

Just kidding, but seriously, next time you need to take control and LEAD like a man is supposed to do.

TELL her what you are doing that evening. INITIATE physical contact. ETC.

It sounds like you have what it takes to be good with women. Just read the DJ bible and get out there and approach women and have conversations.

 

[NewMan]

your shy - but there's come a point in life when you have top step up to the plate.

She wanted you bad - and you didn't make the move.

If you don't make the move, you'll always be jerking off.

you had oportunities but didn't move in. She gave you all kinds of buy signals - but you never took the bait.


now what to do...

you've got only once chance as I see it.

you've got to step up to the plate - after class - and do it face to face.

You slide up and ask her out to something fun. You tell her your going to see a band, going to hit a club, whatever you've got in your town. But you slide up and you invite her out with you.

if she accepts - you make a move on her that night.

if she doesn't - you move on. you blew it.

 

[squirrels]

I'm not reading all that sh!t. Chill out and relax.

 

[SinisaD]

lol squirrels sorry man should of said It was a long story ...

Thank you for the advices guys. I totally agree with the stuff you said.... she was making all the moves and here I was too shy to even make one. She was basically throwin herself at me..... don't get easier then that but as I said I am shy..... All I can do now like you have said is play the bussy game or step up the plate.

As many of you have stated or hinted it... yes my shyness is a wh***... don't know why but when I do initate a convo with a girl I open up but when it comes to making a move or maybe even initating the convo its tough. But sence i read a lot threw your site I see what mistakes I have been making them. Now I just have to put myself to test and not just read on what to do.

I just wish that I have found this site before.......!!! I would just like to thank you guys for making a awsome site. It is helping me quite a lot currently with approach and how to deal with girls. You guys have a awsome community and keep up the good work guys!.

Once again thanks!