Need Serious Help-emergency-calling All Djs

[Zerotwoonenine]

hey guys, please dont read this and go, leave a comment, anything, thoughts, please.
My background: i am 17, in full time education, live in england.
My relationship: healthy, me and my GF are on our 6th month and still going, reciprocal love(not oneits), shes similar 2 me in everyway and she thinks maybe i am her soulmate, shes like me, have high standards, high moral values, would never cheat on me and low maintainence. HB8 at least.
My problem: 2 weeks ago i have been diagnosed with clinical depression, this effect 1 in 5 adults and totally wreck your life. I am suddenly no longer interested in anything, always down, when we used 2 hang out we have great fun and laugh, now i just feel down this hour and up next, never knowing when my mood has will change. I told her and she told me she will b here 4 me, thing is my life is going downhill, i am a strong alpha male and a good dj, i will sort out rest of my life, just need help on depression and relationship.
Since i been depresed i dont want to go out, feel paranoid all the time, feel distant from her and lost my connection with her, i try my best 2 b my funny and usual self but she can sense it when i am down, she said the other day that i felt pretty distant and i can tell when shes with me, sometimes my mood effect her.
Short term i need to fix this soon, otherwise i will lose her in the long run.
I love her(healthy love, again) and she loves me, please help me, i am going to c therapist on thursday and c her on fri and sat. Not taking pills cos they r really addictive.
I worked so hard for this relationship to work, i am not going to c it teared apart by a illness.
Please give me advice, anything, please fellow DJs your brother needs help.
I will be checking updates daily.Thanks brothers

 

[ExploringOne]

Major depression is a b*tch to deal with.

Spend atleast 2 hours a day outside, preferably in sunlight. Go for a walk. Jog, whatever, just GO OUTSIDE.

Get a bright Sunlight lamp for your room.

It's good that you're seeing a therapist, but it will be hard to snap out of it. It will take time.

Try to have a healthy diet. Multi vitamins, fish oil, biotin.

If you don't already, start to exercise. Working out forces the body to release endorphins, makes you feel better.

Not taking pills cos they r really addictive.

Some anti-depressants are addictive. A course of them might not be a bad idea though. Talk to your therapist. It might make sense to go on them for a while. With proper discipline it is actually not hard at all get off of anti depressants (this is experience talking). As long as the dosage is reduced gradually, the body compensates. Just don't even think of stopping anti depressants cold turkey.

:EDIT: As far as the relationship goes, try to focus on common interests. Also try to avoid being with her alone too much, in my experience, people mirror whatever feelings you project, if the feelings of depression projected by you are stronger then what she is projecting, you're gonna end up pulling her down too.

It's hard, believe me, I know. Used to be a time I really didn't have the will to even get up from bed and shower. Feel free to pm me with specific questions.

 

[Zerotwoonenine]

thanks man, i will follow through on those advice immediatly.
other ppl, please, help, if u got any experience in how to help me when i am with her or just help me to pull out of depression, thanks.

 

[Modro]

perhaps take like a week from seeing each other and concentrate on why you are depressed and try and sort it without it affecting the relationship. no contact dont see her. You will also miss her by the end of it and will be please to see her and she will be too.

 

[Zerotwoonenine]

but it dont work like that, if i miss her i just feel paranoid, trust me depression is like magic, u cant just snap out of it, it gives u a different personality, if i dont c her i am afraid that i might lose her, if i do c her i am afraid that i will make it worse cos i will make her unhappy.

 

[Zerotwoonenine]

comon ppl please i am literally checking this every 10 mins, everyone suppose to have it once in a life time, please give advice about depression and what could i do with my relationship when i have it.

 

[Zerotwoonenine]

please...............
i am suffering...............
i do not normally beg, but brothers, please................

 

[ExploringOne]

Is it raining outside? If not dump a few good MP3s onto your ipod and go for a jog. I'm a big fan of Rocky(the movie) music. You can use limewire to download alot of it for free.

Seriously, unless you absolutely have to, don't touch the computer for the next 3-4 hours. Go to the gym.

 

[Jay Jay]

Hey Zoo.

Dude, my old man has clinical depression. Its a *****, lets make no bones about it.

He was smart, champion at sport, successful, rich, popular, married to a stunning women, (yah my mommy is, or was I guess, a babe) beautiful kids and he was still miserable... suicidal.

He couldn't understand it and no one else could either, it wasn't even considered a medical condition in those days. He had it all but just was not happy. He tells me that was the worst bit, that no one understood.

So don't let people tell you its your attitude, depression is real, so don't blame yourself.

But it aint all bad news. There is a lot of help out there now for people with depression and it is a subject that more and more people are beginning to understand.

Furthermore you can still have a kickarse life with a beautiful wife and kids, money, success... the full shebang.

ExploringOne had some great tips. Take that as gospel dude. Read it again!

Mediation and being in nature and getting spiritual is also said to be a big help.

Be brave. As I told ya, my old man was miserable a lot of the time, but me and my sis never knew as kids. He put on a smile for us, dragged himself out of bed and forced himself to be a good father... but once he had that smile and got himself going he soon found that it was a real genuine smile.

But don't hide your condition from your loved ones (kids are different coz they don't get it) and never be afraid or ashamed to ask for help.

Just accept that its going to be tough. But you can work through it and have a great life.

Good luck brother.

JJ

 

[Mind_Body_Soul]

Zero,

I feel for ya brother, but I'm a bit confused.

You say

2 weeks ago i have been diagnosed with clinical depression, this effect 1 in 5 adults and totally wreck your life. I am suddenly no longer interested in anything, always down, when we used 2 hang out we have great fun and laugh, now i just feel down this hour and up next

This may just be phrased poorly, but it sounds like you were FINE until you were diagnosed with it. You say "suddenly" as if, the day before, you were happy go lucky and now that you have clinical depression, it's become a self fulfilling prophecy.

Granted, you wouldn't have gone to be checked out if you didn't sense something was wrong, but perhaps, there's a bit of depression simply at the diagnosis?

I'm pulling for ya bro. What you need to do is learn to manipulate your neurotransmitters. I have the exact opposite of what you do. I'm perpetually in a good mood. I can't really get upset. I know how to manipulate my own mind to maintain this happy state. I work out every morning (good endorphins), I drink caffeine (more happy juice), MUSIC is huge, it always pumps me up.

Stay away from the pills if you can. I dated a girl with clinical depression that was on them and eventually convinced her to get off of them, and her life improved dramatically. Now she isn't depressed at all.

 

[Kev07]

you haven't talked about any platonic friends in your post, what about your high school buddies? hang out with them from time to time.

hit the gym

sports are always real fun (especially contact sport like football(american))

maybe some good movies?

good luck bro

 

[Last Man Standing]

Don't believe everything a coctor tells you!!

Some people have maybe a chemical or pschological imbalance - but how in the hell is exerybody nowadays being diagnosed with depression?? The cause must be in the water or food supply!!! The pharmaceutical companies are making big money by suddenly discovering all these conditions and diseases!

You can have everything in llife and still be depressed - because many people concentrate on their physical/material satisfaction and NOT on their spiritual self!!! Seek God and get in touch with your human nature as created!!!

 

[lookyoung]

Listen your going to be fine. Just keep your head up. I disagree with taking any medication for depression. I feel that you could beat depression on your own. I have never been depressed but my XGF (oneitis) which led me to sosuave was depressed. SHe was on zoloft. Lets just say when a girl is on zoloft sex drive goes to sh1t.

What you need to do is.
1. workout
2. Take a martial art or yoga
3. Get support from family.
4. Write down all the great things about you and think about the people that are less fortunate than you.
5. watch a funny movie.

These are just some of the things. I am sure there are books on depression that can help you cope.

As far as GF goes discuss this with her. tell her you love her but are going through tough times right now. And she just needs to be patient. You will be back to your normal self in no time.

BEST OF LUCK. YOUR A WARRIOR:box: YOU WILL BEAT THIS.

 

[lordson]

i have been through the same thing. crying myself to sleep and **** like that. i'm sorry. theres not much i can say to help you. you need some sort of vent. try working out in the gym when angry or such. maybe what i went through is kinda different to you.

just know that whatever was wrong with me and making me sad and angry, it went away. all in due time, one day i woke up and realised i havn't been sad for a while now and that was that. it just went away all on its own.

so don't worry. one day you'll re right. look forward to the future

 

[DamianOM]

i have been through the same thing. crying myself to sleep and **** like that. i'm sorry. theres not much i can say to help you. you need some sort of vent. try working out in the gym when angry or such. maybe what i went through is kinda different to you.

just know that whatever was wrong with me and making me sad and angry, it went away. all in due time, one day i woke up and realised i havn't been sad for a while now and that was that. it just went away all on its own.

so don't worry. one day you'll re right. look forward to the future

damn, yeah fell ya man. I have been diagnosed with major depression with psychotic features and it aint easy, I dont even have enough energy to go to workout at a gym just maybe to have a walk.

 

[Boschy]

Try medication to get stable.

 

[Zerotwoonenine]

it dnt wrk,it mkes it worse

 

[Doc Dogg]

it dnt wrk,it mkes it worse

are you saying the anti-depression meds didn't work? If so you might need a different sort, go see a good psychiatrist about something different which will counter-balance the EXACT negative feelings you are having. It sounds like you are dealing with some anxiety issues as well (being paranoid, your life being wrecked due to depression, etc.) you really need to make a commited and conscious decision to get a handle on this.

I wouldn't stop seeing your girlfriend, it will just amplify your negative feelings. The best thing to do not fight your feelings, embrace it just as you would any other feeling.

For example. If you dropped a brick on your foot, you wouldn't go around saying to yourself "the pain doesn't exist, I just need to ignore it and act like it never happened"...no you go "AHHH, MOTHER FvCKER That Hurt!!:cuss: " you embrace it, you let the pain run it's course and let your brain do it's thing and release the chemicals it needs and then after a bit of time it isn't as big a deal anymore....

If you get on the right meds, it should have the effect of reducing the severity of the feelings so you won't feel as depressed and you won't need to worry as much embrassing the feelings. It reduces the brick dropping on your foot to say a largeish rock...

Like a previous poster said, use your support network to get you through this...after all this is why we have good friends and family in our lives. USE THEM!!