Need serious advice...

[AverageFC]

I haven't been to this forum in over a year or so, because I really didn't need to be here, that and I felt I in general I was attending way too many online forums, something I have now cut down on immensely. I hardly use the internet for too much other than e-mail nowadays.

Anyways, first let me say I'm not interested in becoming a 'DJ' in the sense that I want multiple sexual encounters with various women. That's not something I'm interested at all. I'm looking for a serious relationship right now.

Here's my story. I'll welcome any and all serious advice. If people have questions I'll respond in the thread, but after this thread I think I'll disappear again. I just needed to here other thoughts on this and I have no one else to really go to. Hopefully some pros can assist.

I'm in my third year of university in the US, however this semester I am studying abroad in Europe, mainly working.

Something I've learned during this is for some reason not too many guys study abroad, so there are women aplenty. Guys if you're considering studying abroad, do it!

So during my work here, as I've just implied, I've been fortunate to work with a decent amount of American students my age. One girl and I (well I feel anyway) were instantly attracted to each other. Eye contact never deviates. I really don't think this qualifies as the "don't date people you work with" thing, because technically we're all students, and it's a temporary job.

We have gone out 4 times, mainly over the past month. I have kiss-closed.

Now, as I said earlier, I want a relationship right now. I'm a grown man, I'm an adult. However...I've never had a serious relationship before.

Here's the kicker: The girl is gone right now travelling. Of course I can't blame her because that's what students do when they have semesters abroad. I will not see her until April 3rd at work, which will only be in passing, we don't work together.

A few days later, I am doing some traveling myself, which will last 4 days. Add all this time together, and in theory I have a total of a week and a half to see her before I go back to the States because my program ends. In addition to this, she lives across the country from me back home. Not like east coast-west coast, but far enough that it's too far to drive.

We have a lot in common, and I really like this girl. After my stint of traveling which I've mentioned above, I want to see where she stands on pursuing an LDR. This is something I am confident I can handle.

Does this seem feasible to others? Share your thoughts. Thanks guys.

 

[Last Man Standing]

As you know LDR's don't last because you need to be close to one another to build a trusting relationship - only IF the seperation is a short period of time AND IF you already have a deep bond with each other would you have a chance of it working.

 

[dj22]

:kick:
Thats what its going to feel like when you get home. She is going to kick your ass to the curb and go on with her life, while you are still obsessed with her. I had a similar experience to this in high school when I studied for a semester in Germany. I hooked up with a girl from California who was in the same program as me and I'm from PA. Not really feasible for anything to come out of it but I was being too much of a romantic and thought we would see each other again. We emailed for about a year and then lost touch. International affairs are just that.

I'm heading to Costa Rica in the fall to study for a semester in college. I can't wait to mingle with all the pootang there. There is always so many more gfirls than guys doing study abroad. Now I am a little more mature at 22 and know what I am looking for....just a good time and not a soul mate.:nono:

If you think this is "the one" though you need to talk to her now about it and not wait until you get home and are seperated and not likely to ever see each other again.

If it is meant to be, then it will work when you get back to the states, but not likely, that is my sappy opinion.

 

[AverageFC]

I just wanted to pop in to clarify I am not "obsessed" with her, I'm just interested in pursuing something more than dating.

 

[AverageFC]

There used to be a lot of people who could give effective advice here...they don't exist any more?

 

[Spook]

I want to clarify something from you. You've dated this girl 4 times and are ready to jump into a LDR and know you're ready for it? Is that right, or did I misunderstand the story?

 

[AverageFC]

Well I have dated her 4 times, the hypothetical plan would be to date her a few more, and then see where she stands, and then an LDR. If it's not worth pursuing at least an LDR, would you be suggesting I have been and am wasting my time?

 

[AverageFC]

bumping this for a final time.

 

[shiningshadow]

I don't think it's worth it. When you go back, how far away will you be from each other? I think you're better off looking for a fun time than a relationship with this girl.

 

[Julian]

this is the stupidest thing ive read here since ive been back for the last 2 weeks.

LDR? Dude...if you've posted here 500+ times u should know that LDR = DONT WORK.


its a stupid idea to begin with and an even worse idea to try and pursue.

Thats my wisdom.

listen to it cuz i know whats up.

for real.

peace

 

[EFFORT]

Don't do that to yourself man, its a really bad idea. I think you already know better, you seem to be doing well, your studying abroad, improving yourself etc.

Have fun now, meet lots of girls and people in general, get to know yourself, figure out what u want in life and make that happen, don't complicate your life with a lsd, espcially with a girl you've only "dated 4 times" (and for future reference always know a girl for awhile and be having sex with her before getting into a relationship)

 

[Hawke]

Life is about taking risks, and as you know a LDR is a big risk. But if it's with someone you really like, the benefits can outweigh the risk somewhat i think. IF your ok with that risk, ready to deal with it, go for it. It's your life after all, and who know's if you do start a LDR it may just work out. Not all LDR fail, just the vast majority.