Need help on putting g in "game"

[JHeights83rd]

I read dj bible and didnt see anything on this. Ive been fz by a bunch a girls at my school, and girls i meet outta nowhere, i just end up calling them and chasing after them. Its annoying. Its probably cuz i dont know how to flirt and/or express interest and make a move. Most of stuff i read just says, 'go head, make a move, dont fear rejection' or 'flirt with her, kino her' or 'let her know youre interested.' 'be sexual' But this advice never really helps cuz i dont really know what means doing specifically.

Usually girls say, "just b yourself" or "just let things progress naturally, and get to really know the person, then when you both know youre right for each other, itll happen" I be myself with my game, but that isnt enough, u get the ljbf. You gotta -g- it up some way. Or it could be that the girls never really liked me from the start... cuz us mixed guys are nobody's "usual prefered type" any help on this subject appreaciated.

 

[pooparu]

Shut up with taht stupid mix guys thing, I have mixed friends that look ****in incredible and they get laid, if a girl finds you hot she's not gonna say, "oh...your mixed....you're not hot anymore". If she does than congrats you've met probably the 50 out of 3 billion women on the planet that would say something that ignorant.

Being natural IS the best way, but your natural self needs to be interesting, a tease, a challenge, yet goes beyond "just wanna get laid". The best way to do this is actually have a genuine interest in the girl . everytime I see a hot girl and think about it, I then go, "wait, is she really someone I would want to spend time with, even if just for sex?" and go in with that mentality, trying to meet and connect with other people.

Kino is flirting, though I don't like that there's a name to it. Just touch her naturally, when you want to touch her, do it, don't look at it, don't think about it just do it, whether you wanna push her playfully or hold her hand, don't over think ****.

That brings me to my next point, stop over thinking this ****. There's no "g" in game as all these PUAs would like you to believe. There's no secret move that's gonna go, "hey, *UBER LINE OF DOOM!* gotcha b*tch!". Doesn't happen. The way you worded it you have a core identity problem. I can tell that you think there's something WRONG with you, that YOU are missing a big part of the puzzle. You were where I was a few months ago, looking for something, like if you could just learn that ONE thing, everything would be solved.

The answer lies within YOU. There's no technique. I didn't believe it either, I thought I needed a new frame, or technique, just using ****y and funny would work but it wasn't me because I was forcing it out (although I was naturally C+F and almost killed that part trying to force it), negs and Mystery method felt so scripted, Speed seduction was so complex and felt so artificial.

Then I improved, I gained confidence (REAL CONFIDENCE, NOT THAT AFFIRMATION ****) by going out and meeting people and realizing that, "everyone who interacts with me leaves feeling more positively" with the rare exceptions. People like to be talked to. Then I was improving my looks and personality, I looked and felt great, women used to give me compliments but I would be to passive and scared so I would try to play it off as being the "silent and strong" type, but all the girls who knew me and liked me liked me for ME, not this fake persona.

You need to get out there and socialize, interact, HAVE FUN. That's what this is about fun, not some ****ing science project.

Here's what you do:

Look your best at all times. If you need a haircut, get it cut. If you're style is not something you like or your being an imposter (recently I realized that I'm not all gangsta that I like some class to my hip hop style so I'm changing it up some), change it, work out to feel great, man up and do things with passion. If you want something don't say, "I WISH" or "I WANT" say, "how can I get this" and "I will get this". My father is sad in this way, and I can't help him yet, I don't think he's ready to evolve to this level yet, but he's always talking about," Man I wish I could have this boat BUT X reason why he cant get it" or, "Man I wish I could get these closing or listings (he's a realtor)" but he's not REALLY pushing. He's told me about other people he could've been in business with or people who started their own company who BLEW up, and he's started his own business which isn't doing bad but it's not spectacular, and I asked him why didn't he and he gave me the answer I knew he would, "I dunno, alot of time and effort is needed and work, and I just didn't have time" or some other excuse to say, "I was lazy, didn't wanna push for it, and now its kicking me in my ass". He hasn't been doing **** but working for the past however many years, what does he mean it takes time and effort?

EVERYTHING THAT IS DESIRABLE THAT YOU WANT WILL TAKE TIME AND EFFORT, so spend it now, because you are going to live in the future, so make your future great now.

 

[JHeights83rd]

if all you know how to do is act like friend

i understand that "just have fun"... "be natural" ... its that when i "be natural" and dont think, i act like a friend. I also have form of autism, when i was growing up, i had worse signs of it, but now its subtle. But still, that **** might turn off alot of women and make them say "not my type".

originally posted by pooparu
your natural self needs to be interesting, a tease, a challenge,

In NYC most people are like that, even a girl's friends act like that. At job, on block... everywhere, guys are challenge, their funny, they flirt (physically) they tease, they got confidence in themselves

I never been a person that naturally does kino and gets aggressive on a girl like that. Then girls only think of you as the guy: "a lil nervous... hes madd cool to talk to, but when it comes to messin around, no leave that to someone else" what happens when you "be natural" but you dont know how to act like u wanna her man, youve been friended so many times, so "being natural" is acting like a friend, and thats how women react back to me, like "just a friend" thats what i dont know about, how to act like a ure interested, since i dont know what im doing, then instead of having mental break down and all autistic side effects come out, i revert back to what i know how to do... have interesting convo and be a friend.

 

[T Money]

pooparu hit it on the nail.

There's no one line that will just get any woman in the world.

You have to be YOU, not some other guy you WANT to be.

 

[SexPDX]

I kind of have to agree that this about mixed guys having a problem is way off base, the ones I know do just fine.

 

[Ace of Flames]

Man... you guys are no help. Psych him up all you want, but he still doesn't know what to do. He needs examples, not encouragement. Stop trying to be all influential and over-the-top, when it isn't nessicary.

You need to know the general way to act when you want to show interest, correct? Well, be flirty. I know you said that you don't usually flirt much, and you don't touch or push girls when you talk to them. To that I say: Do it anyway! You have to change yourself for the better, if what you do now isn't working. Its not pretending to be something you're not. Its learning to be something that's better for you.

At first, it will feel weird. But doesn't everything? The first time you try to drive a car, aren't you nervous that you might crash? If you lack experience in something, the first few times you try it, you WILL be a little nervous about it. You just don't know what will happen! But, once you've been behind the wheel a few times, you get more comfortable with it. Its not so overwhelming anymore. You know that if you turn the wheel so much this way, it'll turn the car so much that way. The same applies for women. If you touch her subtly, she'll be kool with it. If you have your hands all over her, she'll get creeped out.

You just have to break out of your shell. Say things that you might have thought to be too forward, and see the reactions you get. You'll never know how far you can go until you start. Keep up the eye contact while you talk to a girl, but don't stare. Sometimes, try to hold that contact for just a split second longer than normal. The world around you both will disappear. Kudos, you just had a moment.

When you talk to her, don't dwell on boring topics. Try and steer the convo to something more thought-provoking. Hopefully, something that gets her thinking about you, or you and her together. Talk about your goals and your dreams, and then mention that she could be there too, if she wanted to. Talk about things that interest both of you, so neither side is bored. And no matter what you talk about, maintain your confident, funny personality. Make jokes to keep it light, and get her laughing. If she enjoys the time she spends with you, she'll want to spend more.

Things to avoid are just general "friend" behaviors. Don't try to solve her problems, at least not seriously. If she comes over and complains about other guys, and then asks for your help, or your opinion, don't give it to her. Remember, you want the convo to be about you and her only, and how could helping her with other guys be good for you?? Just try to change the subject.


This is getting long, and I realize that I can't put everything in one post. If you want more examples, read the various field reports on the boards. More help on a specific thing? Go look in the Tips forum and search for it, like "Eye contact" or "Kino". You should get lots of threads with details on everything you'd ever want to know on the subject.

What everyone else said is right, but not helpful. Once he knows what to do and how things work, it WILL be natural. Then he can "be himself" and not have to use canned lines or rehearsed material.

Good luck guy!

 

[Phyzzle]

There's no secret move that's gonna go, "hey, *UBER LINE OF DOOM!* gotcha b*tch!".

I'm going to dedicate my life to finding the *UBER LINE OF DOOM!*

Because that would totally rule.