Hey everyone.
Thanks in advance for reading this. I left some unimportant stuff out- tried to keep it simplified.
I met this girl around 3 years ago. Ever since the beginning it was obvious we wanted to be together. I must admit I was never that aggressive with girls, so I didn't want to seem too pushy. throughout that year we pretty much were really close friends but never were officially dating. We would sometimes get into akward situations but 2 days later we would get back together and everything would be fine.Well, we had our ups and downs in that first year. at the end of the year I guess she didnt want to be with me anymore and told me to **** off. So I took it normal no big reaction or emotion since I was kinda tired of her as well with some of the sh1t she pulled, but nonetheless at the same time I knew I would never forget her since she really meant a lot to me. So a year passes by and I get a text message from her. I knew it was her because I remember the first digits of her number (mind you i immediately erased it the day of she told me to **** off). So we text eachother back and she admited she made a mistake and was sorry about everything. I forgave her knowing she was going through a lot at the time. The next day we met and we talked about how that whole year was sorta like a wake up call. We both obviously missed eachother a lot and thought about eachother all the time. We realized we wanted to be together so at the end of that night I told her how I truly felt. She felt the same way and we finally were official.
Its not even been a month yet now since we got together. I just find out a couple of days ago in that whole year we weren't talking she was going out with this one guy ( about 4 months after we stopped talking). This is were i f*cked up. We were there in my room talking and I bring it up. Mind you she was hanging out with him the weekend before and told me about him and how she doesnt like being around him and me being confused at the same time as to why she doesnt like him at all. So I ask her about this guy and she tells me they were going out for 7 months. Im just confused at this point, before she told me she didnt have a boyfriend during that whole year and that she just went out on dates but nothing ever happened. So I ask her more about it and this is were i f*cked up- i ask her if she did anything together. i specified it and asked her if they did anything more than kiss. she told me that they did oral on eachother a couple of times throughout the relationship. This is were my heart felt like it was just ripped out and i felt like total ****. I sorta just went blind sided and starred at the ground for a bout 5 min while looking her into her eyes every so often seeing how serious she was. there was dead silence. The rest of that night (which wasnt much) was bad. After my reaction she pretty much said "Its late I gotta go". So im like, wtf, but didnt say anything (still shocked) and walked her out. I say goodnight and go and give her a kiss while she is in her car and at that moment she turns her head away. I could tell she was pissed, but what for? and why the rejection of the kiss? So i pretty much went back inside and sat down and thought. though, and though. I thought for a long time. I never knew she was that kind of person, I mean I just didn't really expect that comming out of her mouth. I was shocked. I wasn't sure (that night) if this was the girl I wanted to be with.
After she left I realized how it was my fault for bringing it up but at the same time hers for just getting up and go. F*ck i was shocked and hurt at the same time, the last thing I needed was for her to basically make me feel like more sh1t. It wasn't even late at that matter so I knew right from the bat she just wanted to get the f*ck outta that situation.
So right before she left she said she would call me the next day and obviously didnt (knowing her for this long I know how it works). Its now been 2 days and havn't heard from her.
The next day came around and I still had that thought in my head of her and that other guy. It wasn't soon later that I realized WTF!!! why am i so f*cking hurt by what she did with some guy she doesnt even like him anymore let alone want anything to do with ? Why am I so occupied with her past? I lost sight of whats right in front of me - a new relationship with this girl I truly love and care about dearly. Yeah its gonna be hard for a little bit but im sure time will help mend that thought. I go and call her wanting to tell her how i f*cked up and that I don't give a **** about what happened in the past but no answer. I leave her a voice basically describing how i f*cked up and how the past isn't relevant especially at the beginning of our relationship.
I definetely want to talk to her about what happened that night. Especially about what I did wrong and what she did wrong. Now its just a matter of waiting (which i hate more than anything) for her to call me. At the same time I really hate waiting because it seems like its her call to "see eachother".
Anyway, Ive pretty much decided that its no use looking back at the past even though its going to hurt- first, i have to look at the issue at hand, my girl is obviously confused, hurt, pissed off - not sure why but I hope soon she can tell me. Second, this is the start of a relationship that we both really want. the future is only thing i should be worring about so there is no reason why the past should ever be brought up. its on a don't tell don't care don't ask basis. your here with me and thats all that matters.
Sorry it being kinda lengthy. I appreciate your thoughts and comments on this matter. I just want to get a scoop of other people's opinions.
Thanks
Thanks in advance for reading this. I left some unimportant stuff out- tried to keep it simplified.
I met this girl around 3 years ago. Ever since the beginning it was obvious we wanted to be together. I must admit I was never that aggressive with girls, so I didn't want to seem too pushy. throughout that year we pretty much were really close friends but never were officially dating. We would sometimes get into akward situations but 2 days later we would get back together and everything would be fine.Well, we had our ups and downs in that first year. at the end of the year I guess she didnt want to be with me anymore and told me to **** off. So I took it normal no big reaction or emotion since I was kinda tired of her as well with some of the sh1t she pulled, but nonetheless at the same time I knew I would never forget her since she really meant a lot to me. So a year passes by and I get a text message from her. I knew it was her because I remember the first digits of her number (mind you i immediately erased it the day of she told me to **** off). So we text eachother back and she admited she made a mistake and was sorry about everything. I forgave her knowing she was going through a lot at the time. The next day we met and we talked about how that whole year was sorta like a wake up call. We both obviously missed eachother a lot and thought about eachother all the time. We realized we wanted to be together so at the end of that night I told her how I truly felt. She felt the same way and we finally were official.
Its not even been a month yet now since we got together. I just find out a couple of days ago in that whole year we weren't talking she was going out with this one guy ( about 4 months after we stopped talking). This is were i f*cked up. We were there in my room talking and I bring it up. Mind you she was hanging out with him the weekend before and told me about him and how she doesnt like being around him and me being confused at the same time as to why she doesnt like him at all. So I ask her about this guy and she tells me they were going out for 7 months. Im just confused at this point, before she told me she didnt have a boyfriend during that whole year and that she just went out on dates but nothing ever happened. So I ask her more about it and this is were i f*cked up- i ask her if she did anything together. i specified it and asked her if they did anything more than kiss. she told me that they did oral on eachother a couple of times throughout the relationship. This is were my heart felt like it was just ripped out and i felt like total ****. I sorta just went blind sided and starred at the ground for a bout 5 min while looking her into her eyes every so often seeing how serious she was. there was dead silence. The rest of that night (which wasnt much) was bad. After my reaction she pretty much said "Its late I gotta go". So im like, wtf, but didnt say anything (still shocked) and walked her out. I say goodnight and go and give her a kiss while she is in her car and at that moment she turns her head away. I could tell she was pissed, but what for? and why the rejection of the kiss? So i pretty much went back inside and sat down and thought. though, and though. I thought for a long time. I never knew she was that kind of person, I mean I just didn't really expect that comming out of her mouth. I was shocked. I wasn't sure (that night) if this was the girl I wanted to be with.
After she left I realized how it was my fault for bringing it up but at the same time hers for just getting up and go. F*ck i was shocked and hurt at the same time, the last thing I needed was for her to basically make me feel like more sh1t. It wasn't even late at that matter so I knew right from the bat she just wanted to get the f*ck outta that situation.
So right before she left she said she would call me the next day and obviously didnt (knowing her for this long I know how it works). Its now been 2 days and havn't heard from her.
The next day came around and I still had that thought in my head of her and that other guy. It wasn't soon later that I realized WTF!!! why am i so f*cking hurt by what she did with some guy she doesnt even like him anymore let alone want anything to do with ? Why am I so occupied with her past? I lost sight of whats right in front of me - a new relationship with this girl I truly love and care about dearly. Yeah its gonna be hard for a little bit but im sure time will help mend that thought. I go and call her wanting to tell her how i f*cked up and that I don't give a **** about what happened in the past but no answer. I leave her a voice basically describing how i f*cked up and how the past isn't relevant especially at the beginning of our relationship.
I definetely want to talk to her about what happened that night. Especially about what I did wrong and what she did wrong. Now its just a matter of waiting (which i hate more than anything) for her to call me. At the same time I really hate waiting because it seems like its her call to "see eachother".
Anyway, Ive pretty much decided that its no use looking back at the past even though its going to hurt- first, i have to look at the issue at hand, my girl is obviously confused, hurt, pissed off - not sure why but I hope soon she can tell me. Second, this is the start of a relationship that we both really want. the future is only thing i should be worring about so there is no reason why the past should ever be brought up. its on a don't tell don't care don't ask basis. your here with me and thats all that matters.
Sorry it being kinda lengthy. I appreciate your thoughts and comments on this matter. I just want to get a scoop of other people's opinions.
Thanks
