Hi guys,
Im usually trying to give a tip or two on these boards, but I'm newly single, and kinda need somebody elses perspective on something.
Situation: I work as a private contractor in the software business, and was working in a Fortune 500 facility on a daily basis. I met Pam there casually in the hallways and instantly liked her because she gave off a "friendly, confident vibe" , and possessed an offbeat eccentric sense of humor. I sensed this because I frequently make inane wacky (****y and funny) observations about life and see if people respond. You know, anything that comes to mind--if someone tells me "you look more dressed up today than usual"....I come up with something seriously 'out there'----"I signed the papers on my pre-crematorium service this morning". You get the idea.
Anyways, there was a spark there with Pam every time I came up with one of those ridiculous come backs. You know the drill---the little extra eye contact. The feeling of being really comfortable together. And finally yesterday, Pam started touching me casually when she had the opportunity.
As you all know, the combination of casual confidence and self control works perfectly in these social situations. Basically I act like its NO BIG DEAL for a woman to pursue me. It HAPPENS ALL THE TIME (actually it does happen regularly). But I keep up the sincere, ****y and funny, and "gentleman" thing at all times. Most guys would be ALL OVER pam if that happened to them, but I know how to act and how to stay casual and fun at all times.
NOW: Anyways, I told you all those things to give you some specific background. Finally, this morning Pam and I went to a business breakfast in her car (typical female awful driver, paid zero attention to the road or other drivers). This was perfect because I was two feet from her and got to work my mojo in a more isolated environment. Which earned more touching and an easy conversation. Anyways, I started working social proof in the car. Its a chance to prize yourself a little more than usual, since most women despise bragging and (0vert) arrogance. I dropped a few names, and a few associations and connections in a casual way which she would not have been aware of previously. You know.....stuff like....."yeah, I was a ranked racquetball player a few years ago".....if it flows in the conversation.
PROBLEM: Here's the problem. Pam has a boyfriend. She mentions him in passing. He's "older". This seems like to me to be a "negative" thing in a way, since she knows im younger, athletic, and wacky and crazy.
Then again, she might appreciate this fact, for a variety of reason.
QUESTION: My question is this. Should I totally ignore her references to her boyfriend and ask her out? Should I play it cool, and try to become friends with her? Should I play the gentleman and tell her I like her a lot, but dont want to cut in on the mans territory?
The bottom line about the boyfriend is that i dont really care. If she loved him, she'd MARRY the dude, and wouldnt be "flirting" with me. Dont get the wrong idea, she's not a slut. Its probably just that she has a convenient friendly relationship with this guy, and hasnt found anything better going on. She's not cheating on him. She's just more likely bored.
I NEVER ask out married women, but this is a different situation. I want to take this woman out, but I want to do it the right way, and not disrespect myself.
Any suggestions?
Im usually trying to give a tip or two on these boards, but I'm newly single, and kinda need somebody elses perspective on something.
Situation: I work as a private contractor in the software business, and was working in a Fortune 500 facility on a daily basis. I met Pam there casually in the hallways and instantly liked her because she gave off a "friendly, confident vibe" , and possessed an offbeat eccentric sense of humor. I sensed this because I frequently make inane wacky (****y and funny) observations about life and see if people respond. You know, anything that comes to mind--if someone tells me "you look more dressed up today than usual"....I come up with something seriously 'out there'----"I signed the papers on my pre-crematorium service this morning". You get the idea.
Anyways, there was a spark there with Pam every time I came up with one of those ridiculous come backs. You know the drill---the little extra eye contact. The feeling of being really comfortable together. And finally yesterday, Pam started touching me casually when she had the opportunity.
As you all know, the combination of casual confidence and self control works perfectly in these social situations. Basically I act like its NO BIG DEAL for a woman to pursue me. It HAPPENS ALL THE TIME (actually it does happen regularly). But I keep up the sincere, ****y and funny, and "gentleman" thing at all times. Most guys would be ALL OVER pam if that happened to them, but I know how to act and how to stay casual and fun at all times.
NOW: Anyways, I told you all those things to give you some specific background. Finally, this morning Pam and I went to a business breakfast in her car (typical female awful driver, paid zero attention to the road or other drivers). This was perfect because I was two feet from her and got to work my mojo in a more isolated environment. Which earned more touching and an easy conversation. Anyways, I started working social proof in the car. Its a chance to prize yourself a little more than usual, since most women despise bragging and (0vert) arrogance. I dropped a few names, and a few associations and connections in a casual way which she would not have been aware of previously. You know.....stuff like....."yeah, I was a ranked racquetball player a few years ago".....if it flows in the conversation.
PROBLEM: Here's the problem. Pam has a boyfriend. She mentions him in passing. He's "older". This seems like to me to be a "negative" thing in a way, since she knows im younger, athletic, and wacky and crazy.
Then again, she might appreciate this fact, for a variety of reason.
QUESTION: My question is this. Should I totally ignore her references to her boyfriend and ask her out? Should I play it cool, and try to become friends with her? Should I play the gentleman and tell her I like her a lot, but dont want to cut in on the mans territory?
The bottom line about the boyfriend is that i dont really care. If she loved him, she'd MARRY the dude, and wouldnt be "flirting" with me. Dont get the wrong idea, she's not a slut. Its probably just that she has a convenient friendly relationship with this guy, and hasnt found anything better going on. She's not cheating on him. She's just more likely bored.
I NEVER ask out married women, but this is a different situation. I want to take this woman out, but I want to do it the right way, and not disrespect myself.
Any suggestions?