Need Advice: Asking best friend out

[Shinrao]

I'm not sure if i should yet, but she's one of the coolest girls i know, and most of that's with proof of knowing her for over 10 years.

When im with her, we seem to get along, and people would say we look like a couple, it happens sometimes i even mention her in a topic that has nothing to do with her.

I need more DJ's here to give me some advice on the approach i should take, without looking like a moron.

I haven't been very specific on the details so I'll just answer anything you guys need so i can be on the right foot to ask her out.

 

[legrandtango]

Well, if you have been friends for 10 years, that basically means she has decided for the past 10 years that shes not gonna sleep with you. So unless she is really damn obvious about her interst level, if you were to ask her out she would porbably ljbf you. And if you went for the kiss she would probably pull away. I really dont see it, this is just my humble opinion. Take it or leave it.

 

[drixsa]

dude there are soooo many girls out there

why take a chance with a friend of 10yrs thats just dumb, unless you are considering marrige

 

[Shinrao]

I'm not offended one bit . When i meant 10 years, i really meant 11, but little of that counts as her trying to sleep with me when 11 years ago we were 6 and a half.

She probably thought of it once or twice, and had the same idea that I did, that i might say no...Thanks for your thoughts though, I'd like to hear other people's ideas/past experiences.

 

[Shinrao]

Originally posted by drixsa
dude there are soooo many girls out there

why take a chance with a friend of 10yrs thats just dumb, unless you are considering marrige

Hahaha makes some sense, just most of the girls I'd date would follow her model...sad i know :|

 

[drixsa]

Originally posted by Shinrao
Hahaha makes some sense, just most of the girls I'd date would follow her model...sad i know :|

dont risk it dog

ask her to be your wing-woman and help you pick up other chicks

 

[Biphoria]

Ofcourse you could fall for your best friend. You're best friends because of how well you go together.Not worth losing her over such bs.
NONONONONO

 

[Shinrao]

K sweetness, I'll just forget that idea.
I'm happy your all not just blind bats that say go for it without reason.

Thanks Dudez yea theyre's other hot girls, its just a concept that wont go away.

 

[Coolage]

you could do something fairly easy. Have a friend of yours mention something about you two should get together and see how she responds. Make sure he is trustworthy.

just a suggestion.

 

[Shinrao]

already thought of that, the dude's that had something to say a bit higher make sense when they say not to ruin it, but if ever I would that would be a good idea. Thanks.

 

[DJSask]

What I would do...

Wait til your having a great moment when you both laughing and having a good time and then just look her in the eye and say "let just get it over with and get married"

gauge her reaction

 

[Shinrao]

Hahahaha! Sure, I'm on that one I'll just switch the heavy word marriage for something more casual.

 

[Walden]

If you "ask her out" you put a lot on her , because in agreeing to "date" you se agrees pretty much to switch up to an intimate footing (you already hang out, right?) on the basis of a 30 second "question" you just put to her.

In doing so you risk the friendship.

If you were a sneaky bastid you'd start doing things that involve isolating her a bit and run some NLP **** on her so you can put her in the right "mood" and then start into her wth kino.

 

[OddTech]

Originally posted by drixsa
dude there are soooo many girls out there

why take a chance with a friend of 10yrs thats just dumb, unless you are considering marrige

Hey drixsa, considering that you've been here for over 6 months, I thought you would encourage him to risk the friendship.

Why? Well, here is this link (from the DJ Bible):

here.

From the thread, the philosophy is that Shinrao is going to be miserable as he looks from afar, always thinking "what if." Would he get mad if he see this girl with other guys? Would he feel lonely wondering why? Would he feel used like an emotional tampoon?

Yeah, I know that 10 year of friendship is risky. But Shinrao will have to decide if "a man and a woman can be just friends." If Shinrao believes that: "no, a man cannot be friends with a woman who he is attracted to," then he basically answered his question.

I'm trying to think in the "shoes" of Shinrao here. It's up to him to find out what's more important to him: the preservation of the friendship, OR the feeling of regret. As most fellow DJs know, we fear regret more than rejection. Good luck man, I understand that it's a hard decision.

Oh, and also, in the meantime you should be finding other women. Hehehe.

 

[Shinrao]

Very good reply to my question dude, made me think a bit. I think I'd be happier in the long run just being buds, the way it's supposed to be, and seeing a few ladies in the meantime would really be more fun then acting like a worrywart. To answer your question, yes a man and a woman can be friends, so i guess that theyres nothing else for me to say but thanks . My black book of numbers awaits to get to dialin

 

[DEKKA]

friends into lovers only works when thats the way you set it up.

i.e. if you were friends because you never got the balls to do anything other than be friends than thats how she sees you and there's no way outta that catagory.

however if you purposefully used indirection to "befriend" her before moving on to completely seduce her than that is a worthy and useful tactic.

10 years of friendship = permantant LJBF

plenty of fish in the sea... grab a boat and start fishing.

 

[Shinrao]

Originally posted by DEKKA
friends into lovers only works when thats the way you set it up.

i.e. if you were friends because you never got the balls to do anything other than be friends than thats how she sees you and there's no way outta that catagory.

however if you purposefully used indirection to "befriend" her before moving on to completely seduce her than that is a worthy and useful tactic.

10 years of friendship = permantant LJBF

plenty of fish in the sea... grab a boat and start fishing.

Hmm, well the story is I've been her friend since i was 7 but i only started liking her in the last year or 2. So its not a problem of guts, i just thought about it now. But like you said, other fish in the sea, and it's sweet to have her and a girlfriend . 2 for 1 i say!

 

[Coolage]

I still would go with my suggestion. Won't hurt anything as long as you choose a person wisely.

That's bull****, he wasn't going to mack her when he was 6.

This is a special circumstance for that rule. I know a friend of mine who is dating someone he had been friends with since they were children.

It is definitely possible.

 

[Shinrao]

what sucks is theyres no time machine or something for a failsafe. And since I moved a few miles west from Montreal, the friends i have now are completely different and have no ties to her or her friends at all. So theyres no way i can pull a trick and get a friend to ask her what she thinks of me, on a more personal note. I would have gone with that plan a long time ago if theyre was a way , meh whatever. I'll deal.

 

[DEKKA]

Originally posted by Coolage
I still would go with my suggestion. Won't hurt anything as long as you choose a person wisely.

That's bull****, he wasn't going to mack her when he was 6.

This is a special circumstance for that rule. I know a friend of mine who is dating someone he had been friends with since they were children.

It is definitely possible.

thats probably true...at least partly.

having known him for so long though has completely destroyed his mystery though... you do realize that dont you? she knows what he is and if shes known him that long my bet is that she thinks of him as more of brother of sorts.

one of the most powerful allies you have when you're getting involved with a new women (key word new), is your mystery. she can build you up to be whatever she wants.

my guess is the mystery is gone... but if she still likes him even after shes known him for so long then id say hell, give it a shot.

id rather not mess up a 10 year friendship when there are so many other hot babes out there