For those pursuing or involved in a LTR, "mystery" can and often does work against you. Women need a certain level of emotional intimacy in order to feel fulfilled...just like men need a certain level of physical intimacy in order to feel fulfilled. In order to have a successful LTR you both MUST satisfy the intimacy needs of your partner.
It is impossible to meet a woman's need for emotional closeness if you are trying to remain a "mystery". If she doesn't feel emotionally fulfilled and close to you she is not going to be happy with the relationship and ultimately she will leave. When your girlfriend tells you "You never talk to me." (and the like) she is telling you that she does NOT feel emotionally satisfied.
It is okay to let go of the mystery, and actually good for you to do so in a LTR. However, you still need to provide mental and emotional stimulation to keep a healthy level of challenge and interest. You can do this by being a bit unpredictable in the things you do and say. Be full of surprises and keep her on her toes, so that she isn't sure what to expect from you from one day to the next.
Finding a balance between being unpredictable and still being reliable can be tricky, but this is the key to holding interest over the long term.
If you are wise, you can use little surprises to not only keep her interested, but also keep yourself interested. For instance, rather than doing the usual routine of going back to her or your place after a night out and hopping into the bed to have sex...pack some wine and a blanket in the trunk and find a beach, field or whatever, pull over, go to the trunk and mix things up a little bit. Surprises like this not only boost her emotional satisfaction to the roof, but you benefit from how turned on it makes her. Give her a$$ a playful slap while you're opening the door for her and letting her go ahead of you. Sneak up behind her while she's doing the dishes and lick her neck while groping her boobs and then lift her up on the counter and tell her you must have her right then. These are examples of surprises and being unpredictable that typically have good returns for you.
So, in summation...let her feel close to you or she won't be able to develop genuine feelings for you. Replace the "mystery" with being a little unpredictable in a way that not only makes her feel emotionally fulfilled but also leads to you getting physically fulfilled at the same time.
It is impossible to meet a woman's need for emotional closeness if you are trying to remain a "mystery". If she doesn't feel emotionally fulfilled and close to you she is not going to be happy with the relationship and ultimately she will leave. When your girlfriend tells you "You never talk to me." (and the like) she is telling you that she does NOT feel emotionally satisfied.
It is okay to let go of the mystery, and actually good for you to do so in a LTR. However, you still need to provide mental and emotional stimulation to keep a healthy level of challenge and interest. You can do this by being a bit unpredictable in the things you do and say. Be full of surprises and keep her on her toes, so that she isn't sure what to expect from you from one day to the next.
Finding a balance between being unpredictable and still being reliable can be tricky, but this is the key to holding interest over the long term.
If you are wise, you can use little surprises to not only keep her interested, but also keep yourself interested. For instance, rather than doing the usual routine of going back to her or your place after a night out and hopping into the bed to have sex...pack some wine and a blanket in the trunk and find a beach, field or whatever, pull over, go to the trunk and mix things up a little bit. Surprises like this not only boost her emotional satisfaction to the roof, but you benefit from how turned on it makes her. Give her a$$ a playful slap while you're opening the door for her and letting her go ahead of you. Sneak up behind her while she's doing the dishes and lick her neck while groping her boobs and then lift her up on the counter and tell her you must have her right then. These are examples of surprises and being unpredictable that typically have good returns for you.
So, in summation...let her feel close to you or she won't be able to develop genuine feelings for you. Replace the "mystery" with being a little unpredictable in a way that not only makes her feel emotionally fulfilled but also leads to you getting physically fulfilled at the same time.
