novaknight
Senior Don Juan
Today, I'm going to take another step on my journey of a thousand miles.
I was a total AFC until recently. Was a pushover with someone I fell in love with. Got rejected, developed an eating disorder, and attempted to rebound. I went after a few chicks that were way better than me, but had no chance due to both being not very good looking AND having zero game at all. School was relentless too, as I had some teachers were either flat out impossible, or sucked and didn't teach. I suffered from depression, didn't eat sh!t at times. I was probably slowly killing myself. Each day the alarm clock felt like a sledgehammer to my forehead.
I then got into a relationship with a guy. One day this guy found out that I wasn't entirely straight. He asked me out. Being the total wuss I was, I felt that I should say yes even though I didn't exactly find him attractive. I didn't want to hurt him, like people did to me.
At this point, I was as AFC as a guy could be. Believing women should be worshiped, no sex before marriage, that I had no chance with girls I find hot cause I'm a chink, damn, even saying yes to a guy of the freaking same sex, who you didn't find attractive. What the hell were you thinking, dude. School improved a bit, but I still had no luck with women, and was with a dude who I didn't find good looking. He was every bit as AFC as I was. Perhaps even more.
An millimeter of improvement then came across me. I decided to dump the guy, making up an excuse. Then I decided to pursue one of the hottest chicks in my grade. I told myself even though she was way out of my league, I had to give her a try. Tried making a bunch of moves, but being the loser I was, they all backfired, and I knew it was pointless to ask her out. Summer then came. I was no longer anorexic, although somehow despite actually eating, I weighed less than when I didn't eat, due to actually having the energy to exercise, and do stuff in life. That's quite good. But something even better happened.
Now by some sort of miracle, I stumbled across PUA. Some sort of forum that was pretty technical, and had a bunch of routines. Perfect for a guy with a social impairment like me. Went on vacation, and gamed a HB5.5 (slight bit above average), applying all sorts of DHV tricks. I ended up with a kiss on the cheek. Although I found out she had a boyfriend, textbook IOIs were shown. I was blown out of my mind!
But it went nowhere, due to the distance. It seemed like a deity gave me some magic power, and then took it away. I felt like it was a freak coincidence. Then, I vowed to replicate that success, no matter what.
I got greedy. Decided to take the ultimate challenge. Gamed what was imo a HB9 from online. I felt that I was doing terrific at first. Somehow she even thought I was kinda cute. But eventually she saw that I was just a phony with a bunch of gimmicks, and I failed. Once again I felt like a loser. But I know something had to be done.
Talked to my ex quite a lot at that time. Actually we still do. Turns out that he was trying to get with a girl. We made a challenge. We tried to be the first one to get action from our targets. Seems he was beginning to become a better man too. I then told him I failed.
He said that he succeeded. I literally started crying. Not out of jealousy, grief at my long stack of failures. But out of joy. I was ****ing proud of him! A guy who was even worse than me, was able to score! Granted, he is probably more conventionally attractive than I am (reason why I didn't find him good looking is that my standards are EXTREMELY unconventional). But nevertheless, that took a huge amount of balls.
Somehow his new **** buddy got in a fight, and broke up. I then decided to snatch that HB8. I almost succeeded. Had she not saw past a white lie I told her to DHV myself, I probably would have scored. Never did I know I would come close to snagging a ****ing HB8!
Currently, I feel that I'm on the right track, and have quite a few goals for self improvement. I'm nowhere near good, but I'm on the way. I started working out, and although still rather skinny, I'm toned. Working on bulking, and then will cut once I reach 170 lbs. A 6'2 (still growing), ripped guy will certainly be stunning
I'm trying to phase out rehearsed routines in favor of natural game. Sometimes, when I see a hot guy, I start to become a wuss again. I'm learning to just forget about it because most hot guys are straight, and try to stick to getting chicks instead, and not letting that stud affect my game. Instead I'll try to use those attractive men in HS to build a social circle, allowing me to get girls.
Although it takes a great deal of strength, I have told myself I practically ruined all chance I have with the girl I fell in love with,and I need to move the **** on. I know not what the future holds. But I plan to make it more than just than ****ing. I plan to become a better man.
Thanks to all of you, for providing a wonderful atmosphere for me to learn in. I wish to learn, and grow with you all, both physically and mentally. Now, 100,000 more steps to take.
I was a total AFC until recently. Was a pushover with someone I fell in love with. Got rejected, developed an eating disorder, and attempted to rebound. I went after a few chicks that were way better than me, but had no chance due to both being not very good looking AND having zero game at all. School was relentless too, as I had some teachers were either flat out impossible, or sucked and didn't teach. I suffered from depression, didn't eat sh!t at times. I was probably slowly killing myself. Each day the alarm clock felt like a sledgehammer to my forehead.
I then got into a relationship with a guy. One day this guy found out that I wasn't entirely straight. He asked me out. Being the total wuss I was, I felt that I should say yes even though I didn't exactly find him attractive. I didn't want to hurt him, like people did to me.
At this point, I was as AFC as a guy could be. Believing women should be worshiped, no sex before marriage, that I had no chance with girls I find hot cause I'm a chink, damn, even saying yes to a guy of the freaking same sex, who you didn't find attractive. What the hell were you thinking, dude. School improved a bit, but I still had no luck with women, and was with a dude who I didn't find good looking. He was every bit as AFC as I was. Perhaps even more.
An millimeter of improvement then came across me. I decided to dump the guy, making up an excuse. Then I decided to pursue one of the hottest chicks in my grade. I told myself even though she was way out of my league, I had to give her a try. Tried making a bunch of moves, but being the loser I was, they all backfired, and I knew it was pointless to ask her out. Summer then came. I was no longer anorexic, although somehow despite actually eating, I weighed less than when I didn't eat, due to actually having the energy to exercise, and do stuff in life. That's quite good. But something even better happened.
Now by some sort of miracle, I stumbled across PUA. Some sort of forum that was pretty technical, and had a bunch of routines. Perfect for a guy with a social impairment like me. Went on vacation, and gamed a HB5.5 (slight bit above average), applying all sorts of DHV tricks. I ended up with a kiss on the cheek. Although I found out she had a boyfriend, textbook IOIs were shown. I was blown out of my mind!
But it went nowhere, due to the distance. It seemed like a deity gave me some magic power, and then took it away. I felt like it was a freak coincidence. Then, I vowed to replicate that success, no matter what.
I got greedy. Decided to take the ultimate challenge. Gamed what was imo a HB9 from online. I felt that I was doing terrific at first. Somehow she even thought I was kinda cute. But eventually she saw that I was just a phony with a bunch of gimmicks, and I failed. Once again I felt like a loser. But I know something had to be done.
Talked to my ex quite a lot at that time. Actually we still do. Turns out that he was trying to get with a girl. We made a challenge. We tried to be the first one to get action from our targets. Seems he was beginning to become a better man too. I then told him I failed.
He said that he succeeded. I literally started crying. Not out of jealousy, grief at my long stack of failures. But out of joy. I was ****ing proud of him! A guy who was even worse than me, was able to score! Granted, he is probably more conventionally attractive than I am (reason why I didn't find him good looking is that my standards are EXTREMELY unconventional). But nevertheless, that took a huge amount of balls.
Somehow his new **** buddy got in a fight, and broke up. I then decided to snatch that HB8. I almost succeeded. Had she not saw past a white lie I told her to DHV myself, I probably would have scored. Never did I know I would come close to snagging a ****ing HB8!
Currently, I feel that I'm on the right track, and have quite a few goals for self improvement. I'm nowhere near good, but I'm on the way. I started working out, and although still rather skinny, I'm toned. Working on bulking, and then will cut once I reach 170 lbs. A 6'2 (still growing), ripped guy will certainly be stunning
I'm trying to phase out rehearsed routines in favor of natural game. Sometimes, when I see a hot guy, I start to become a wuss again. I'm learning to just forget about it because most hot guys are straight, and try to stick to getting chicks instead, and not letting that stud affect my game. Instead I'll try to use those attractive men in HS to build a social circle, allowing me to get girls. Although it takes a great deal of strength, I have told myself I practically ruined all chance I have with the girl I fell in love with,and I need to move the **** on. I know not what the future holds. But I plan to make it more than just than ****ing. I plan to become a better man.
Thanks to all of you, for providing a wonderful atmosphere for me to learn in. I wish to learn, and grow with you all, both physically and mentally. Now, 100,000 more steps to take.
