My Situation

[ZW52]

So here's my situation. I go to school at a college in Mississippi. My first week there back in August I met a stunningly amazing girl from New Orleans. Well, a few days later Hurricane Katrina hit the area, and I think everyone knows what happened with that. Well this girl had to go back home to New Orleans to help out her family after Katrina so she was no longer going to school with me. We still talked sometimes on the phone however. I kept a low profile during this time for the most part to avoid being lumped into the friends category by her. She had a boyfriend during most of this time so we only talked about every couple weeks or so. Anyhow, her and the boyfriend broke up and now I'm trying to move into his place. I went and hung out with her the other day for the first time in a long time. Do you guys have any advice aside from what is in the dj bible on how to swing this girl towards me? I imagine there are some minor changes for the rules when it involves a distanced relationship. Any help will be appreciated, thanks.

 

[ZW52]

...bump...

 

[Wubbman]

Dude, bite the bullet and ask her out on a "formal" date (if there is such a thing). Go to dinner at a semi-nice place (I recently went w/ a girl to On the Border). I understand you not wanting to be put on the friends list, but in this case, I would go with a direct approach. If she says no, you know you are SOL because you were already on the list. You've got nothing to lose. Good luck. Report back afterwards.

 

[ZW52]

Well I would just ask her out on a date, but it's kinda hard to make the proper dating arrangements when we live 2 hours apart. Anyhow, the way I see it, since she just got out of a relationship she's probably just looking for a rebound or quick hook up. I wouldn't mind that because I don't want anything long term. But it would involve too much gas to really make it worth it for me. Yeah, I'm a cheap bastard. So I'm just going to keep myself busy with other girls and my hobbies and see what happens when she starts going to school here again next year. For now, I'm just going to avoid her for the most part, more so than I've been doing. I'll see what happens with this.

 

[Wubbman]

Well, good luck.

 

[ZW52]

Does anyone else have any advice? Would staying busy with other things instead of trying to pursue her right now be my best option?

 

[saki]

Does anyone else have any advice? Would staying busy with other things instead of trying to pursue her right now be my best option?

If you just want a fvck you better get in there now, because NOW IS THE TIME! Vulnerability=a hot night of fvcking! Of course stay busy with atleast two or more chicks so your mind is not just on banging this chick. You say you dont want LTR from this girl, but if you change your mind, you will have to have patience and work your game more carefully, but for the now, start using some SS to get up in there!

 

[Rockstar]

Well if being her rebound is out of the question because of the high price of gas, and you're going to wait and see what happens when she is going to university with you again; does that mean you are trying to position yourself to be her boyfriend down the road? Wow, that was a long sentence. Anyhow, I understand how expensive a long term relationship can be, especially with gas prices today. But, you're probably looking too far ahead if you are lining yourself up to be in a relationship with her in 6 or so months. At the same time, I guess that may be your best option. Just don't sit around and wait for her to come to your school. Summer is coming up, go find a hottie and have a nice lil summer fling with her. Best of luck however with this girl. I would say that avoiding her for the most part is a good way to stay out of the friend's zone. Seeing as you guys live far apart, it would work. Just don't call her alot, if she calls you don't answer everytime. If she sends you a text message, respond by saying something like "I'm busy" or "I'm in a meeting", or don't respond at all. It may make her wonder why you all of the sudden don't have time for her. the merits of staying scarce and keeping yourself busy aside from women are underappreciated I think. This got much longer than I thought it would, I'm out.

 

[ZW52]

Well f**k guys, I missed my chance. I found out today that the girl I was talking about in this post has a new boyfriend. So I guess it's back to the drawing board. I don't think my plan to withdraw my attention from her was really working, cause I never really demonstrated much value to her in the time we hung out a couple weeks ago. Apparently, some guy she just met came in and swept her up in the past few days. I'm kinda pissed off, now I really have a legitimate reason not to talk to her for awhile. I don't have any other prospects lined up, but I have 4 weeks of school left to change that. Dammit!!!

 

[Wubbman]

Well, I'm sorry man. The same **** has happened to me any number of times. Don't go out of your way to talk to her, but still be friendly when you see her. You never know what the future holds. Don't burn your bridges prematurely. Good luck.

 

[flexion_]

Well that does suck but let this be a reminder to you - "strike when the iron is hot."

Next time just go for it and ask her out - thats all the other dude did when you didn't.