My Oneitis.

[LinkinParkROX]

This sucks. I've known one of my ffs for almost a year. We're inseparable. This is going to sound extremely AFC, but we have the strongest possible bond ever. The thing is, I've flown way way way too deep into the friendzone. I'm not even sure I can make it out. Now even though we're the closest pair ever, I can walk away in a heartbeat. That's just me. So the oneitis isn't that strong. It does affect me however, when she talks about boyfriends and how she plans on getting a new one. Again, really AFC, but we're the perfect pair, what's messed up is the fact that she sees me as her "best friend" and nothing more.

She blows off her friends for me, she clearly says I'm the most important person in her life, she calls me every 5 minutes, non stop hugs, extremely heavy (but friendly) kino between us, but still. This just doesn't work. Just the other day she was saying how she wants a boyfriend. She's got the perfect guy right next to her, what the ****. I'm all for spinning plates, and yes I do my share and a lot of it. Still, I'm not satisfied because she's the one I want. I don't know, my oneitis seems so strong. I should probably cut off contact, but that'll never work. We have to see each other every day whether we like it or not, it's a work thing. I need help.

 

[SickAgain]

you say you can walk away. make a move on her and if she likes it cool. if she doesn't walk away if you must. get both of your drunk before hand so its less inhibited.

 

[Hellomisslady]

Did it ever cross your mind that maybe she keeps saying she wants a new boyfriend because it's you she wants? Make a move on her, then you'll know. Good luck

 

[LinkinParkROX]

Not that I'm a p*ssy, but we've got a ton of mutual friends. And news like me making a move on her (and perhaps getting rejected) would spread like wildfire. To add to that, she keeps subtly reinstating the fact that she has zero attraction to me. I'm her best friend, and she can't have feelings even if she tried. But I should really judge by actions not words, yeah?

 

[Hellomisslady]

Tere was so much negativity in that last comment, and it was all made by you. You're setting up barriers because you're afraid of what the answer might be. I made a move on a girl at my school who was in a completely different social circle than me, now she keeps asking when we can hang out. Point is, take chances. If you don't, you'll never know what could have happened. And hey, you say you can just walk away, so what's the big deal?

 

[Energizer]

HelloMissLady is spot on, follow his advice.

Take your chances, he who dares wins.

 

[x86]

Do not base your decision on fear or else you will regret it.

 

[prairiedog24]

Did I write the OP's post? Holy ****!

That's my story exactly. It's been a year. I've stepped up the game by being way more flirty when we're together, and more distant when we're not. Just last week she "cleaned out her closet" of other guys who've been chasing her with no success and I'm "the only one left."

It was OBVIOUS she was hoping I'd make a move, and I was ready... but guess what, I got SLAMMED by bronchitis that very day. I can't throw a girl up against a wall and kiss her when I may ruin her next week of school by doing it, not to mention gross her out.

So I wait for another opportunity. Better luck to you bro, but yeah, if you feel detached enough (like I do), you really gotta just go for it. But if you act even SLIGHTLY needy, you're sunk. She already likes you, she just needs you to shake things up with PURELY ACTION. No talking about it. No caring about it. Just doing it. (pep talking myself here too.)

Let me know how it goes. I'll let you know how mine works out too. I'm feeling a lot better, so I'm hoping tomorrow or Saturday may be the day.

 

[LinkinParkROX]

Cool. Let me know how it goes.

 

[EFFORT]

I'm all for spinning plates, and yes I do my share and a lot of it. Still, I'm not satisfied because she's the one I want.

How many other plates are you fcking right now?

 

[LinkinParkROX]

Six.

 

[Pimp-sicle]

Six.

LOL!!! Definitely lying!!!




PIMP

 

[EFFORT]

LOL!!! Definitely lying!!!




PIMP

Sure does sound like a lie, given the situation he's in. OP so your honestly currently having regular sex with 6 different women and your some how able to manage your time in a way where you still have time to be caught up with this one girl that your not fcking?

 

[xectxny19x]

Did I write the OP's post? Holy ****!

That's my story exactly. It's been a year. I've stepped up the game by being way more flirty when we're together, and more distant when we're not. Just last week she "cleaned out her closet" of other guys who've been chasing her with no success and I'm "the only one left."

great story, man. that's the way to go. :rockon:

 

[prairiedog24]

great story, man. that's the way to go. :rockon:

ughhh, I gave myself a major setback today though. I don't really feel too bad about it, because it will be ok, but it means more delay. I was sick all week, but we had some AWESOME facebook emails back and forth as we worked on a legal assignment together.

The assignmnet was an answer to a complaint (the start of a lawsuit), and you can answer "admit, deny, or lack sufficient evidence with which to form an opinion" on each claim.

I emailed her mimicking the assignment and referencing an earlier text she sent me. I said "Defendant admits plaintiff texted him at 1:30pm describing herself as 'so pretty', but lacks sufficient evidence with which to form an opinion."

She went NUTS, loved it and quickly replied that I HAD sufficient evidence because it was self evident and besides, her word should be good enough, and as such I would be held in contempt of court etc. Anyway we kept "filing" new responses to eachother. I finally "filed" a motion for "discovery" to obtain sufficient evidence. Man I love how sleazy that sounded in the context. She of course denied but with a HUGE emoticon smile.

Fastforward the last few days. We only saw eachother in passing, and with my voice still being totally shot, I didn't do anything. Tonight we had dinner together, but it was a serious evening, and she wasn't in a playful mood. I actually made her cry when she got talking about some personal **** back in her past (stuff that was wrapping up when I first met her.) My armor cracked a bit, and I even let on that guys aren't "just friends" and I'm well aware of what she went through because I've been through similar stuff before, and I'm sacrificing even from HER situation (I could have been with her a year ago, she knows it, but I refused to move because I wanted her to have time to heal up, I don't do rebounds.) She asked which relationship I was sacrificing a year ago for, and I said "with you of course."

Anyway, it's not like she didn't know my game before, so this won't be a relationship sinker, even though it's the closest thing I've come to telling her I love her. Such things could be very damaging in this situation. I probably won't hear from her all evening and tomorrow, but come next week when life goes to hell again in class we'll be fine.

My birthday is coming up in two weeks or so, so I'll just try to be really busy until then and let things reset. No worries though, we're stuck with eachother, but we def go through highs and lows, and we just passed from a high to a low. It's pretty normal, but I probably won't have much drama to report for another week or so.

 

[Prodigy746]

God after reading your guys posts i am glad i dont have any real close girl (friends) .. Thats horrible and prairie you sound like you are scared to make a move... you are putting too much effort in it...

 

[prairiedog24]

God after reading your guys posts i am glad i dont have any real close girl (friends) .. Thats horrible and prairie you sound like you are scared to make a move... you are putting too much effort in it...

You're partially right and partially not. In a broader sense, I'm not scared at all anymore. I really could lose her and move on quickly. But in a more narrow sense, I am. Timing is a problem. The times when I could flip things, I'm enjoying myself so much that then I care "less." The times I'm more frustrated and am ready to make a move, are the times when I know it wouldn't be advantageous because it wouldn't come across as natural.

Better to be patient than blow things just so I can move on.

 

[Pimp-sicle]

You're partially right and partially not. In a broader sense, I'm not scared at all anymore. I really could lose her and move on quickly. But in a more narrow sense, I am. Timing is a problem. The times when I could flip things, I'm enjoying myself so much that then I care "less." The times I'm more frustrated and am ready to make a move, are the times when I know it wouldn't be advantageous because it wouldn't come across as natural.

Better to be patient than blow things just so I can move on.

Your thinking too much.......





PIMP