My latest horrible cold approach...need to improve

[SoonToBeDJ]

Yesterday I was at a restaurant and before I left I approached the waiter that served my table. To get to the point I was horrible, the worse cold approach I have ever done. I still got her # but I wonder if it is even real. When I was asking her I couldn't even think of what to say, I was like "uhh uhh."

Got any tips to improve? Obviously I am a rookie in cold approaches but I tried to picture her as an ugly ass girl but I couldn't I just kept stuttering. I am normally not bad when talking to girls, some times I get nervous but this time it got out of hand. The most important thing about the approach is that I learned I really need to work on them, even more important than her number and if it is real. What do you guys think?

 

[LikRetsam]

As you said, practice makes perfect!

 

[Microphone Fiend]

There is a correlation between experience and confidence. The more you put yourself in the situation the more confident you'll be. If you are havign trouble conversing, forget about how hot she is, and listen to what she's saying. When she talks she'll give you clues about what topic you can go into next.

 

[SoonToBeDJ]

If she did give me her real number which she could have, do you think this will affect our relationship? I am not talking about a relationship as bf or gf this early because if we do end up together then what happened yesterday wouldn't be an issue but I am talking about will things be weird on the first date just because of what happened when I initially met her? Did I already ruin my chances with her if the number is real?

 

[Microphone Fiend]

Some chicks dig the whole bashful, "i'm awestruck by your beauty and don't know what to say" approach, so there's still a chance she gave you her real number. Just have fun, and think about is she good enough FOR YOU! read "Kill that Desperation" by Pook, it might be on the first page still at DJ Tips section, or go look in the DJ Bible. it gives you the right mindset when it comes to talking to chicks who are good-looking

 

[SoonToBeDJ]

Since I got her number and will eventually call and see if it's real I don't know when to call her. Friday I am leaving to visit my brother and sister who live in California and I will be there for a week. When should I call her? When I get back or before I leave? I could call her back when I come back but I have read that waiting to call them after a long time is a bad thing. So when should I call her?

It just came to me why I messed up so bad in the approach (or one reason why)... I asked for her # in front of my mom. It's the first time I have ever done it infront of my mom and it was just weird. The reason I did it infront of my mom was because other times I could have talked to some girls but didn't because my mom was there and I beat myself up after the chance passed up because I didn't. Is there anything wrong with that in your opinion? By the way, this chick is older than me, I will be 17 in 2 weeks and she is about 23. Any thoughts on the age?

Thanks to everyone who replied for this is a learning experience for me. I will continue to improve because I am confident enough I can do it. If it wasn't for this site I probably wouldn't had approached at all so thanks again to those who replied to this thread and any one else who has taken part in helping me become a DJ.

 

[CribMaster345]

she's 23 you're 17? you approached her infront of your mom? whoa, that's a little ..strange lol

i'm no DJ, but my advice to you is what my parents have been telling me my whole life ..that it's "never too late to change" so even if your approach was horrible, when you date her you can change you know? you don't have to be the stuttering noob you can be the DJ & she'll probably forget the way you approached her. & call her up don't wait see if it's the real number & if it is just listen to her & talk

 

[Craig Reeves]

Well, you're probably more critical of your approach than she was. You probably weren't THAT bad, or else she would not have given you her phone number. However, if you feel as if you aren't good at making approaches, the only way to really get better is if you practice them often.

When young DJ's often start to make approaches, they think they have to go PERFECT when they do not. Women KNOW when you are interested in them, so they will expect at least a LITTLE nervousness anyway, and they probably won't mind it.

About 90% of the time, women will NOT notice mistakes if you KEEP GOING and not try to fix them. If you mess up and say something a little incoherant, KEEP GOING, don't stop and say "uhh.....". Just keep on making eye contact, smile and keep conversing.

 

[Microphone Fiend]

This one is one of my favorite posts on how to approach
http://www.sosuave.com/vBulletin/showthread.php?s=&threadid=15014&highlight=Alice



I just found this thread in the older section of the DJ section. It has a lot of varying situations that could help you out a lot:
http://www.sosuave.com/ubb/Forum6/HTML/001742.html

Good Luck, and don't be so hard on yourself, approaching in front of your mom is a move that shows balls of steel

 

[SoonToBeDJ]

Thanks for all the confidence boosters guys but when should I call her? Before Friday the day I leave for a week or after I come back which is like the 18th?

We'll see when I call her if she'd like to go out on a date since she is older than I am but I am not worried about that. I am not exactly sure how much older she is so...