My Girlfriend broke up with me because...

[Hakuna]

If a girls tells you “I’m breaking up with you because…”
We’re different religions
Long distance isn’t going to work out
I have too much school work to do
I’m having family issues
I got this awesome dildo and I don’t think I’m going to need Men anymore

What she’s really saying is “My interest level in you is NOT high enough to overcome _______ ”
NEVER focus on specifics, it will only cloud your judgment and make it harder for you to make rational decisions. Nothing in a relationship matters besides a girls interest level, and the more you think in terms of ONLY interest level, the better choices you’ll make. Here’s an example,

Say your girlfriend breaks up with you because her parents don’t accept you. There’s two ways to view this

(a) Focus on the specific situation and try and solve it. Her parents don’t accept you so you kiss their asses. You Call her 20 times and say you’re sorry for who you are and that you love her and you want her back. You try and qualify yourself to her parents over and over again. She ends up feeling sympathy for you because of your desperate behavior. But simultaneously, your desperation and neediness kills ALL attraction she feels for you. Even if she attempts the relationship again with you, you’ll look so pathetic and lose so much power to her, she won’t respect you or see you as a dominant male. I am 100% positive almost EVERY guy can relate to this scenario.

(b) Focus on INTEREST level. It doesn’t matter why she broke up with you. You need to increase her INTEREST LEVEL, not try and solve some specific problem. So what increases a girls interest level? You try and move on and talk to other girls. You don’t call her, instead, you focus on your own life. This drives her crazy because she WANTS you to feel bad that you guys broke up. She WANTS you to be broken and apologize a thousand times but instead you refuse and accept that some things just aren’t meant to work out. Now it’s a win-win for you. Her interest level gets driven back up and she wants you back. OR, you’ve gotten over her and moved on so even if you DON’T get back together, you’re still able to maintain a positive mentality.

I only mention this scenario because one of my friends has recently been in this situation. He first saw his break up via outlook (a) which caused his girlfriend’s interest level to drop further and further and drove him almost insane with desperation and loss. It wasn’t until he shifted to seeing it in the other way that everything changed for him and he ended up having the option of either getting back with his girlfriend who came back crawling to him OR moving on to a different girl who I thought was a better option for him.

 

[pipe007]

I want to break up because = you are a wussbag, Im not attracted to , blah blah blah

this is almost an over used cliche around this site... its been mentioned millions of times....

 

[johnca2010]

Hakuna, EXCELLENT post. Bible material.

Guys, he's right. This is not the most earth-shattering stuff, but often times we lose sight of commonsense when we're in these situations.

I just got out of a 3-yr relationship this week and what Hakuna is saying is completely true. Despite knowing this, I STILL fell in the trap of focusing on the specifics, trying to make up for WHO I AM, and it's completely ridiculous. DON'T DO THIS. I wasted days trying to "win her back." What bullsh*t. Finally I'm getting my act together and focusing on my goals again...and letting her do whatever the f*ck she wants. The fact of the matter is that it feels GREAT to be single again. Sure, I don't have Mommy there to text me goodnight every single day, but it's time to grow some f*cking ballz. I already have three b*tches I'm spinning the plates with right now and it's AWESOME. I'm a 23 yo guy who hasn't even visited around the States yet (not to mention the world)..I want to nail so many different types of girls it's not even funny. No wonder she couldn't feel close to me! Life is too short and our d*cks don't work long enough to waste our time, energy, and youth listening to estrogen-driven broads b*tch at us about sh*t. Leave that for the AFCs and poindexters who haven't decided to step up their game. My judgment was so clouded by personal insecurity that I could barely see BEYOND the relationship. Time to work on myself, focus on who I am, and not worry about getting attached to some girl for the wrong reasons.

Plus I have more time to kick it with my friends and be as crazy as I want to be without some nagging gf at home crying about how we don't "hang out enough" LOL (seriously how many of us guys have dealt with nagging b*tches who always whine and cry about sh*t when we should be out hitting *****es from the back doggy style!). Not to mention that I'm focusing again on my career goals and even planning to move to LA!! I have more time now for my hobbies like reading, working out, and investing. I was in love with trying to control her and prevent somone from f*cking her!! But the ironic thing is that by doing so I ended up losing out on all the cool sh*t I could have been doing and hot chiks with big round asses I could have been nailing..not to mention that I could have used that time to make more $$$ so that I could get higher quality tail!

If a girl's IL in you dropped, move the f*ck on. Hakuna is totally right not to listen to the BS excuses/reasons. The fact is that most of these b*tches are so out of it that they don't even know what the hell they're saying half the time. Don't be a little puppy dog and start falling for their emotional crying, ranting, "be with you further," etc. bullsh*t. Don't do what I did and act like a little girl, b*tching about what we "had together." That's the past; accept that things change and let the past go. Sure, you might have had a good time with her..**** I had TONS of good times, now the ride has ended!! She's out getting her mouth full with some other guy. Accept that and move on to bigger and better prizes.

I'm NOT SAYING that you should never have a gf, relationship, etc. Just make sure that 1)you're getting into it at the RIGHT TIME and for the RIGHT REASONS (meaning not just because you're a p*ssy and afraid to be alone and 2)if it ends, print out Hakuna's post and read it until it begins ingrained in your behaviour.

 

[perseverance]

When a girl dumps me I often think to myself, "what took her so long?"