my gf wants to wait A YEAR!?

[Dole]

alright first off i appreciate everyone offering their advice. however, there are so many things wrong with what so many of you said it's gonna take a novel to explain it.

i know she has high interest level. whenever i do things that don't involve her, she gets extremely jealous and protective of me. if i tell her a story involving another girl hitting on me, she just about ****s a brick. now im not saying it's good she's this protective, but i know for a FACT she has high interest level.

she would NOT jump on a movie star the second he asked for it because she is just not like that. she is from the same "sexually repressed" (as you guys put it) culture that i am. she is afraid of it because of the moral backlash and ultimate judgement if religion happens to turn out to be the correct path to have followed at the end of the world.

this leads to another point. i do NOT appreciate anyone as jaded as most of you are coming on here and talking down on my or my girlfriend's belief system. no matter where you are that is low class.

i am positive i need no reprogramming and/or reading the "bible" to change who i am. as a person, i feel that i can hold my head up high because i have not forfeited any of my values and morals because of what some guys on a forum have told me.

finally, while i do appreciate you guys trying to offer your expertise, your "help" is no longer needed on this topic for me. i know now that this was a mistake to post to all you guys that are jaded and think the way you do about sex and relationships. thank you very much.

JJ

Okay virgin.
Good luck.

 

[OrangeCrusader]

Okay virgin.
Good luck.

Go back to sucking off Kontroller, and find out there's more important things in life than just sex, unless you're a weak coward. Maslow's needs, look it up.

Really starting to hate some people on here, I can see why many leave. There are nuggets of gold in here, however they're buried in mountains of sh1t.

 

[(JJ)]

Okay virgin.
Good luck.

funny how fast my point about jaded views has been proven. 5 minutes. and thanks for the well wishes

 

[Gustav Yavo]

i have a question tho...

How does she know shes gonna be ready in a year? (could be more or less, are you prepared if its more? because just the fact you came onto a aforum to discuss this says to me its an issue that bothers you. Ive heard other virgin girls tell their boyfriends that it'll be a year before sex, rarely do the girls wait that long)

and is your girl on the pill? and have you two ever talked about it?

 

[(JJ)]

phew. someone asking coherent questions to try and offer me some help. (no offense to those that actually did have good advice.)

she doesn't know if she's going to be ready i'm sure. but that's the rough timeframe she's given me. the day after the stuff that i wrote about in the original post happened, she told me it made her uncomfortable, and that she was thinking that we needed to be together at least a year before we could actually do that. and it does bother me, but not enough to break up with a cool girl. i've been involved with other girls, but none of em were as fitting to my personality as this one. mainly im posting because i kinda wanted to rant, as i said earlier. and no she's not on the pill.

having said all this tho, she specifically has told me that she didnt see herself doing any of the stuff we've already done till she was married. that may be an indication, i suppose, that she will give it up before a year

 

[FutureSpartan]

Be honest with yourself man. If you could be having sex right now with 10 other beautiful women, would you trade that for the activities/conversations you have with this girl you are dating?

Really think about this. Is this girl really that great and special that you are willing to pass up other opportunities with other hot women to wait a year to have sex with her?

Another thing you must consider, what if she no longer decides she wants to be with you before next year? Imagine she dumps you and then ends up losing her virginity to some OTHER dude that did not have to wait. Imagine how sh*tty thats gonna be for your ego.

You said that you want sex. Then why are you with this girl if she is not fulfilling that need of yours. If you are more concerned with how she feels, rather than how she makes YOU feel, you have handed over all power of the relationship to her.

Nothing jaded or flighty here man, its called being smart and looking to make yourself happy FIRST, before HER.

 

[Brandonc662]

alright first off i appreciate everyone offering their advice. however, there are so many things wrong with what so many of you said it's gonna take a novel to explain it.

i know she has high interest level. whenever i do things that don't involve her, she gets extremely jealous and protective of me. if i tell her a story involving another girl hitting on me, she just about ****s a brick. now im not saying it's good she's this protective, but i know for a FACT she has high interest level.

she would NOT jump on a movie star the second he asked for it because she is just not like that. she is from the same "sexually repressed" (as you guys put it) culture that i am. she is afraid of it because of the moral backlash and ultimate judgement if religion happens to turn out to be the correct path to have followed at the end of the world.

this leads to another point. i do NOT appreciate anyone as jaded as most of you are coming on here and talking down on my or my girlfriend's belief system. no matter where you are that is low class.

i am positive i need no reprogramming and/or reading the "bible" to change who i am. as a person, i feel that i can hold my head up high because i have not forfeited any of my values and morals because of what some guys on a forum have told me.

finally, while i do appreciate you guys trying to offer your expertise, your "help" is no longer needed on this topic for me. i know now that this was a mistake to post to all you guys that are jaded and think the way you do about sex and relationships. thank you very much.

JJ

Jaded? You are saying that the people who gave you good advise are jaded? Well if their jaded then you are naive? yes naive! You obviously want sex from this girl or you wouldn't ask for advise or even "rant" as you later retorted.

You didn't like the hard truth that people were saying so your ego has made you dismiss their advise because they are "jaded". No they are not jaded, they are able to look at your relationship with no emotions attached and see it for what it is. That is why you are naive, you have emotions clouding up your judgment and that is causing you to justify what is happing in the relationship. Also the people that are giving the advise probably are speaking from experience which I'm sure you don't have.

Who wants to put a wager on this guy being one of the millions of guys that will come back 3mo from now and say "you were right, I should have listened"?

 

[Dole]

Jaded? You are saying that the people who gave you good advise are jaded? Well if their jaded then you are naive? yes naive! You obviously want sex from this girl or you wouldn't ask for advise or even "rant" as you later retorted.

You didn't like the hard truth that people were saying so your ego has made you dismiss their advise because they are "jaded". No they are not jaded, they are able to look at your relationship with no emotions attached and see it for what it is. That is why you are naive, you have emotions clouding up your judgment and that is causing you to justify what is happing in the relationship. Also the people that are giving the advise probably are speaking from experience which I'm sure you don't have.

Who wants to put a wager on this guy being one of the millions of guys that will come back 3mo from now and say "you were right, I should have listened"?

I will, I was one of them. Didn't listen to the advice people were giving me on this forum about the relationship while I was seeking help, three or four weeks later relationship came to an end and everything they said was exactly how it was.

 

[mintxx]

man... this thread makes me feel so old. i can't get interested in sex enough to contemplate making any kind of concessions, that kind of crap gets a blank look and a nexting from me. plenty of other girls who legitimately desire the minty boy

 

[mintxx]

Go back to sucking off Kontroller, and find out there's more important things in life than just sex, unless you're a weak coward. Maslow's needs, look it up.

Really starting to hate some people on here, I can see why many leave. There are nuggets of gold in here, however they're buried in mountains of sh1t.

a good example of why half an education in behavioural psychology or syntactical logic is more dangerous to a halfwit than no education at all

 

[(JJ)]

yall are kinda right. you're right about making concessions i don't want to and shouldnt have to. i understand this. however, this is a girl that's probly a 7.5 or so and also has a good personality. i don't hit the drinking scene ANY because of a history of alcoholism in my family. she has stopped. for me. there are very few girls that i consider cute enough to allow to spend time with me. there are even fewer that match the morals that i have. this is my problem with just walking away. and i know it's afc and all that other stuff. but that's how i feel

 

[slamthedoor]

Iron Rule of Tomassi #3
Any woman who makes you wait for sex, or by her actions implies she is making you wait for sex; the sex is NEVER worth the wait.

Not worth the wait?!?! She's a virgin. He's a virgin. First time sex is notoriously bad for most people anyway. Whether she asks him to wait or not isn't going to make much difference.

When a woman makes you wait for sex you are not her highest priority.

This is a seventeen year old girl he's talking about. I suspect her priorities are finishing high school, her cheerleader practice, getting into college, and her babysitting job. She'd be stupid if she made a horny teenage boy trying to get into her pants "her highest priority". Rollo, why should any guy be her highest priority? How much quality has the original poster demonstrated?

'Iron Clad' rules make sense when you're talking about adults, but I don't think this one is as iron clad for people who have not reached a certain level of maturity. Some of the advice offered on here is the equivalent of giving a child a loaded gun. At least Guybrush is making some sense...it's OK to wait.

 

[(JJ)]

yes that's what i was talking about. thank you for putting it into words.

 

[fireguy]

I remember my first time. It was with a girl who liked me. Four days after kissing her, we became boyfriend and girlfriend. You think it's love, but it's not. You're gonna break up sooner or later. I waited a year. Then I broke up. Nice and clean, no hard feelings, it just wasn't what I wanted and I told her that. Then we actually got to the sex. Ironic isn't it. Once you break up and become friends, she now wants to do the wild thing with ya. You start to get options, and now you get picky with girls.

It's like sales. If you only talk to one prospect, that one sale is insanely important. You try sooo hard, and ironicly, that will make you loose the sale. And you go "noooooo!". Life sucks and youre pissed the next few hours beating yourself up.

On the other hand, lets say you have 20 prospects and one says no. You're so indifferent to the no that you could care less. You know your product is a great one, and soon there will come someone who almost sell themselves, cause they want what you have to offer. And you can go meeh, im not shure you're the right kind of customer. These are expencive quality wares. They need care and good attention. I'm not shure you're my type.

Someheow over time, you start to "get it" and you get more and more sales. Just like women.

Just know that you have everything to offer a woman.

 

[Smack]

Not worth the wait?!?! She's a virgin. He's a virgin. First time sex is notoriously bad for most people anyway. Whether she asks him to wait or not isn't going to make much difference.




This is a seventeen year old girl he's talking about. I suspect her priorities are finishing high school, her cheerleader practice, getting into college, and her babysitting job. She'd be stupid if she made a horny teenage boy trying to get into her pants "her highest priority". Rollo, why should any guy be her highest priority? How much quality has the original poster demonstrated?

'Iron Clad' rules make sense when you're talking about adults, but I don't think this one is as iron clad for people who have not reached a certain level of maturity. Some of the advice offered on here is the equivalent of giving a child a loaded gun. At least Guybrush is making some sense...it's OK to wait.

It's OK to wait if you want to wait. But if you don't want to wait, why should you wait? Why should he stick with a girl who is not giving him what he wants? He doesn't want to wait because he is a) a guy and b) does not subscribe to some silly 'morals' that say it's bad for us to follow our nature and have sex when we are physically mature enough for it. Ergo, he shouldn't have to wait. He should be getting it on with a girl like many horny 17 year olds are doing.

 

[KontrollerX]

Jesus, you are not in an LTR. She isn't your GF. After you are having regular sxx and she has proven herself worthy for 6 months, maybe, maybe you might consider her GF material. Until then, you are just dating. Go out and date and FK 20 other chicks in the mean time. All this "morals" and "cheating is wrong" crap makes me want to vomit; they are simple constructs of the weak mind. As long as the woman is meeting your needs then you don't need to get it elsewhere anyways; if she isn't, then she isn't up to your standards and you should find another chick.

All this AFC advice makes me sick.

Good post.

The reason I gave the advice I gave in this thread is because so many AFC's who come to this board in particular ie the discussion forum want to stay with their cold fish girlfriend or are in love with their oneitis and whenever we tell them to next the b!tch they complain about that solid and sane advice.

So I decided to try a different tactic.

And that tactic is basically telling this guy that he could have it all.

He could hold onto his oneitis/cold fish girlfriend and let her have her little "1 year game" while he knocks it out with other b!tches on the side and keeps his mouth shut about it and then when the end of the year comes he finally gets to nail the girl of his dreams.

He gets to have it all this way.

But nope, nope.

AFC's think being the "good guy" whatever that means and sticking by their own arbitrary "morals" will get them some kind of gold star in life.

It won't and its a waste of time to think otherwise.

Having a good time is what its all about and is what young guys should be focusing on.

Leave the moral philosophizing about all of this to greying old bastards in their 70's whose wives haven't put out for them for 20 years.

You are on a board that will give you many alternative viewpoints from mainstream society on how you can productively live your lives with the most benefit to you the male so I don't see why you guys are even here if you aren't going to consider other ways of living.

Wouldn't it be far more fun to knock it out with other chicks since your main woman isn't putting out and busting your nut on their faces and then doing the same to your oneitis after the year passes than playing her little game in an honest way and in so doing effectively let her blue ball you for 12 months as a result?

And not only blue ball you but also bear in mind that by allowing this sh!t (or not getting you some on the side) she fully controls this relationship.

Not at all an appealing thought to a real man.

An AFC can handle it just fine though.

No sweat off his back to let the little lady wear the pants.

 

[IM0001]

OK I will not be reading all the replys on this but IMO. I feel that if a women wants to wait for sex. I find that a rair trait and it shouldn't be something forced or put down about. In my beliefs I want to be a virgin for hopefully a virgin wife. Sadly in this day and age few of you know why I would want this. It's not only for the STD free or kid free benefits. Its the emotional and intimate aspect that you cannot have if you just toss sex aside as just some other fun thing to do with a woman. Believe me I have had chances to do a lot but I control myself and in turn respect a woman for the man that she might call a husband someday. And in no way am I a prude, hell there are all kinds of things I want to do and I know the women I have talke to would defintily enjoy. Us guys that hold it off till the end aren't known for being great lovers over the long haul for nothing. Just because we haven't had experiance doesn't mean we will never learn.

Sadly, I reciently lost my GF due too the Emotional impact of her getting HPV from a past BF. The only guy she slept with. She was devistated and needed time to think about her life and what was going on. Since there truely was a lot going on in her life I can believe her on this vs many other women who give guys the BS "I'm too busy" line. Hopefully she will recover but outside of her mistake that caught up to her, her having the respect to tell me about it and not want me to get it is a kind gesture. You have so much other things you can do with women and SEX though fun and exciting, can usually hurt more in the long run. Why not hold it off for a bit and get to actually know and like a person instead of just being like every other animal in the wild and screwing anything that walks with a innie?

Just my .02

 

[Jaxon]

Good post.

The reason I gave the advice I gave in this thread is because so many AFC's who come to this board in particular ie the discussion forum want to stay with their cold fish girlfriend or are in love with their oneitis and whenever we tell them to next the b!tch they complain about that solid and sane advice.

So I decided to try a different tactic.

And that tactic is basically telling this guy that he could have it all.

He could hold onto his oneitis/cold fish girlfriend and let her have her little "1 year game" while he knocks it out with other b!tches on the side and keeps his mouth shut about it and then when the end of the year comes he finally gets to nail the girl of his dreams.

He gets to have it all this way.

But nope, nope.

AFC's think being the "good guy" whatever that means and sticking by their own arbitrary "morals" will get them some kind of gold star in life.

It won't and its a waste of time to think otherwise.

Having a good time is what its all about and is what young guys should be focusing on.

Leave the moral philosophizing about all of this to greying old bastards in their 70's whose wives haven't put out for them for 20 years.

You are on a board that will give you many alternative viewpoints from mainstream society on how you can productively live your lives with the most benefit to you the male so I don't see why you guys are even here if you aren't going to consider other ways of living.

Wouldn't it be far more fun to knock it out with other chicks since your main woman isn't putting out and busting your nut on their faces and then doing the same to your oneitis after the year passes than playing her little game in an honest way and in so doing effectively let her blue ball you for 12 months as a result?

And not only blue ball you but also bear in mind that by allowing this sh!t (or not getting you some on the side) she fully controls this relationship.

Not at all an appealing thought to a real man.

An AFC can handle it just fine though.

No sweat off his back to let the little lady wear the pants.

Kontroller I've seen you make some good posts on this board, but this is not one of them. First of all, you're attempting to give advice to a 17 year old kid on how to be a man, and that advice in essence is to "bust a nut on other chicks faces"?

Like all teenagers JJ is sure to be naive about some things, but he's hit the nail on the head when referring to you and many other on this thread as jaded. A real man is someone who stands by their morals and beliefs, and helps others to do the same. Not someone who "accidently" sticks it in and rapes his girlfriend.

And for the record, most courts define rape as "any penetration, however slight". So basically what you're saying is that "real men" rape their girlfriends and cheat on them by busting nuts on other girls faces behind their back? That's anything but the actions of a real man or a Don Juan. Being a DJ is not equal to being a selfish bottom-dwelling @sshole, or a felon. You've got some f*cked up views dude, and I really hope you reconsider some of them before you decide to procreate.

I can't help but think that your misguided advice has presented itself at least in part to you prostituting your morals for the eventual approval and attention of select women, which sounds downright afc to me.

 

[KontrollerX]

"First of all, you're attempting to give advice to a 17 year old kid on how to be a man, and that advice in essence is to "bust a nut on other chicks faces"?"

Absolutely.

A young 17 year old man should make the most of his youth and get as much pvssy as possible while he is young and virile. You would have him remain "true" to one woman who is hell bent on blue balling him for an entire year as part of her stupid game. He is ready, willing and able to go along with this stupid game because of his misplaced morals which I and others are trying to tell him are foolish and are holding him back. Now I'm not against all morality but just the kind that isn't backed by the law. Cheating is not a crime, nor is the girl deciding to play games on this guy and blue ball him a crime. Maybe they should be in your opinion but they are not.

"Like all teenagers JJ is sure to be naive about some things, but he's hit the nail on the head when referring to you and many other on this thread as jaded. A real man is someone who stands by their morals and beliefs, and helps others to do the same."

First you say JJ is a teenager then you try to say that he is a man. My point is he is too young to have fully developed a set of long standing morals yet. He doesn't have enough life experience yet to get hung up on any one set of morals. Right now my point is while he is young he should be having fun and sex with as many chicks as possible. I'm sure in your world him sitting around watching paint dry and putting up with his girlfriend not putting out is the way to go but its not my way nor the way of other intelligent DJ's and if our way according to you makes us "jaded" well I for one am proud of the label sir.

"So basically what you're saying is that "real men" rape their girlfriends and cheat on them by busting nuts on other girls faces behind their back?"

There is a difference between cheating on a girlfriend who has been nothing but good to you and cheating on a games playing b!tch.

His girlfriend is the latter and not the former. Learn to read dude.

Also any judge worth anything at all is going to say something along the lines of "get the fvck out of my court room with that bullsh!t" in response to some little darling trying to bring a rape allegation after admitting she willingly dropped her panties for this fellow "minor" and had him lay ontop of her and move rhythmically back and forth.

"That's anything but the actions of a real man or a Don Juan. Being a DJ is not equal to being a selfish bottom-dwelling @sshole, or a felon. You've got some f*cked up views dude, and I really hope you reconsider some of them before you decide to procreate."

Read up on the real Don Juan and educate yourself. The popular oldschool posters turned this place into a morality haven which it was never intended to be. Sure their way is a valid way to be a DJ but so is the opposite way ie immoral or morally selective.

"I can't help but think that your misguided advice has presented itself at least in part to you prostituting your morals for the eventual approval and attention of select women, which sounds downright afc to me."

You have no idea what you are talking about whatsoever.

The way I view the world and carry out my life is by doing what will benefit me within the law.

I don't waste my time living with morals that the law will not arrest me for not having.

Its not about female approval its about what most benefits me KontrollerX and all the young men I give advice to via PM who thank me profusely for all that I have told them because what I tell them works and works well. You and the rest of the moral crusaders value your above it all self righteous delusional arrogance over benefitting yourself in more exciting and pleasurable ways. So be it though. I can lead a horse to water but I can't make the dumb bastard drink it can I?

 

[SmoothTalker]

Morality and legality are NOT the same thing. And if your only morals are 'what can I get away with without going to jail?', then yes, you are immoral.

PS: Even by those morals your advice is wrong. As several people have pointed out, accidentally sticking it in is rape.