My first really direct approach - completely crashed & burned....

[Jerry Maguire]

I wouldn't have conveyed your interest like that immediately.
Here's how you could alter it.

First Approach: (Looking at one of the girls) 'Excuse me....this might seem a bit random, but I was just walking past and I think you're incredibly cute...I just wanted to come over and meet you'.

Your Next Approach: Hey there, I thought I'd come over here and find out what you guys were about, but I can only stay for a minute. *Takes a seat but gives off "leaving" bodylanguage until set warms*

Then run it from there.

If she calls you up asking if "you chat up all the girls" or whatever, don't hide your interest. Say something like "only the sexy ones, but beauty is common, what do you have going for you apart from your looks?"


I think your problems were mainly the "excuse me...this might seem a bit random" don't excuse yourself and it probably wouldn't have appeared random until you said it was!, the lack of a time constraint and probably lack of "leaving" bodylanguage


Tell me how you get on.

 

[Derek Flint]

Whatever you do....don't listen to all these guys questioning your opener. Your opener could be better, but whatever, you will gain 100x more just by working on your body language and delivery. Don't fall into the KBJ trap of obsessing over what you say!

No disrespect, but some of you are giving bad advice.

The biggest problem with his opener was what he said, not so much how he said it.

Instead of opening direct, he opened with a ton of excuses and rationalizations.

That is NOT a Direct Approach.

Also, Direct is not just an approach, nor is it a routine, nor is it even a method as it is a mindset and a lifestyle.

Not in the sense that you are changing your lifestyle so it revolves around getting women, but in the sense that you are changing your lifestyle to improve it, and the increased success with women is a side benefit.

As for the person who mentioned using an artificial time constraint, those types of tricks and gimmicks are not compatible with Direct.

You can't mix direct with indirect, such as time constraints and other MM/MASF methods.

Those types of rationalizations and excuses clash with Direct.

While most methods will share some commonalities like strong body language and tonality, you cannot mix indirect methods such as mentioned above with Direct Method.

It's called Direct Method for a reason, and one of them is that it does not use gimmicks, rationalization or excuses like artificial time constraints or opinion openers.

Opinion openers, cold reads, negs, time constraints and all that other MM stuff is not compatible with Direct Method.

If you don't know about Direct Method, I respectfully ask that people please refrain from giving advice on it as you are just complicating it with lack of knowledge of how Direct Method works.

Also, people should understand and learn the basics of direct method before going out and using it in the field, otherwise they will do things like the starter of this thread did and end up getting blown out.

 

[Guitar_Whizz]

No disrespect, but some of you are giving bad advice.

If you don't know about Direct Method, I respectfully ask that people please refrain from giving advice on it as you are just complicating it with lack of knowledge of how Direct Method works.

Also, people should understand and learn the basics of direct method before going out and using it in the field, otherwise they will do things like the starter of this thread did and end up getting blown out.

No offence, but you sound like you're on your high horse a bit - almost as if you are some big 'authority' on direct game. I appreciate your reply, but you've totally undermined everyone else, without giving any concrete advice.

You say you can't mix different methods of seduction - why not? I'm not a great believer in any 'extreme'...I think taking the best bits from any method to make a method you're comfortable and congruent with is fine. It's not that only ONE seduction method works...it's what bits work best for YOU.

And next you said that my opener was not direct - well I did read up on direct game and a lot of guys are successfully using the opener "you're cute and I want to meet you". Fine, that is what I used.As for the 'excuses' and 'justifications'....well Ross Jeffries talks about 'pacing', which basically means to get a girl's complience and comfort, you say things at the start of yur opener that she has to agree with - e.g. "I know this is an unusual way to meet someone, but..." etc etc. If you go straight up to a girl and say abruptly "you're cute I want to meet you" it's a bit out of the blue to say the least - I think at least saying "Hi" or "Excuse me" shows some class and manners.

You obviously have a lot of experience with direct game though, so I'd like to pick your brains and learn from you. Give me a link to an article/info about the basics of direct game, or post some advice on the basics yourself....I'm waiting....but please don't dance around giving me an answer!

And I'd like you to give us some definite openers we can use for direct game - if my opener is so bad, what IS a good opener? And don't say you can't give an opener....if you're going to suggest situational stuff then that is indirect not direct.

There is also a guy on here posting field reports using the opener "you're cute I want to meet you" and he's getting a lot of success now, despite starting off badly at first.

I want you to give a guide to direct game that I can learn from, not just abstract advice. If my game is not direct, then what IS direct game?

 

[greenlake]

if you want to understand direct better then go to www.direct-method.com. sosuave is not a good place to learni t. 90% of the guys here are indirect. That's like me walking in a church and talk about buddha being god. It will never works nor will it ends.

btw, i've got numbers from saying "excuse me" first. To me, it depends on the circumstances(for ex; walking up to a girl on the street at night and outo f nowhere u just say "u're pretty." just creepy....) plus it made me seem more gentlemen-like. I guess when guys on here see the words "excuse" or "sorry" they just automatically think losers or chump. So next time you want to say "excuse me" then just say it and really mean it. What would happen?! The girl just gonna say "i don't like you anymore cause you say excuse me."? It's all in your head!

So just check that direct method forum and read about it. I would recommend reading some of comecuca, and hardboiled posts. Those two guys are good. Check out chrisishere's journal for motivation. That guy just never give up and now he's a success. Soon you'll find why those techniques like neg and time-constriant are not necessarily. you can use it but there's no point. for example: time constraint is for guys to act like they're gonna go soon so then they could get the girl's attention more. but with direct, if the girl is interested in you then there's no point of acting you need to go anywhere, just stay there and get to know her as a person. for neg: it's something to lower the girl's value so you'll seem higher by pickingo n her weakness. You don't need to do that with direct. Because to her, you're already a confident guy. you walk up ot her and express your feeling. c'mon, how many guys do u see doing that. thus, u're high value without wasting your effort.

good luck on your journey brother from the UK. Just have faith in whatever you believe in and soon you will get what you want. I have full faith in direct after the day i learned about it. what if it doesn't get me girls? so what, i become a more honest and direct person. there is nothing to lose, but a lot to gain.

 

[Tazman]

In my opinion, there's too much focus on the approach itself. Would it be waaaaay out of bounds to think......hmmmm...maybe she just wasn't attracted to me for whatever reason? I also agree that you may have gotten atleast a better response if it was done at a bar/club because that sort of thing is expected in those environments. Your approach seemed too confrontational because this chick didn't have time to check you out and your questions put her on the spot immediately.

You may come across a chick that would actually appreciate that kind of approach because she sees something she likes about you, and will therefore humor you and respond positively. I think someone mentioned it before, but I believe it's all about your "attitude" and not the "line" itself.

I'll give you credit though because that situation would have embarrassed me to the fullest.....you've got courage out of the way, that's for sure.

 

[DJVladdy]

I agree with Derek.

Everyone is commenting on the details, BL, etc.
I think there are some inner game/mindset issues.

Learn as much as you can about YOURSELF, be a direct MAN, and everything else will fall into place

 

[Derek Flint]

No offence, but you sound like you're on your high horse a bit - almost as if you are some big 'authority' on direct game. I appreciate your reply, but you've totally undermined everyone else, without giving any concrete advice.

You say you can't mix different methods of seduction - why not? I'm not a great believer in any 'extreme'...I think taking the best bits from any method to make a method you're comfortable and congruent with is fine. It's not that only ONE seduction method works...it's what bits work best for YOU.

And next you said that my opener was not direct - well I did read up on direct game and a lot of guys are successfully using the opener "you're cute and I want to meet you". Fine, that is what I used.As for the 'excuses' and 'justifications'....well Ross Jeffries talks about 'pacing', which basically means to get a girl's complience and comfort, you say things at the start of yur opener that she has to agree with - e.g. "I know this is an unusual way to meet someone, but..." etc etc. If you go straight up to a girl and say abruptly "you're cute I want to meet you" it's a bit out of the blue to say the least - I think at least saying "Hi" or "Excuse me" shows some class and manners.

You obviously have a lot of experience with direct game though, so I'd like to pick your brains and learn from you. Give me a link to an article/info about the basics of direct game, or post some advice on the basics yourself....I'm waiting....but please don't dance around giving me an answer!

And I'd like you to give us some definite openers we can use for direct game - if my opener is so bad, what IS a good opener? And don't say you can't give an opener....if you're going to suggest situational stuff then that is indirect not direct.

There is also a guy on here posting field reports using the opener "you're cute I want to meet you" and he's getting a lot of success now, despite starting off badly at first.

I want you to give a guide to direct game that I can learn from, not just abstract advice. If my game is not direct, then what IS direct game?

I've went "Direct" almost 3 years ago and probably know more about it than 90% of the people here.

Did you read my original response to your post and why your opener failed you?

Telling the chick she was cute was not the issue, the issue was the excuses and rationalizations you threw in before and after, all in the opener.

If you did not understand that, re-read it until you do.

You're lack of understanding what Direct Method is why you're opener failed.

I already wrote why you're game is not Direct, and it is because of the excuses and rationalizations you used in your opener.

Also, if you study Direct game, you will realize that using some of the things that the indirect guys use will cancel each other out. Direct and indirect do not mix. You can't be both.

By mentioning RJ and pacing and comfort, it shows that you are still in the indirect mindset, while trying to use direct as an opener like a routine.

Direct is not a routine. It is not an opener. It is not even really a method. And that's why you can't mix it with other methods.

It's not about being "extreme" it's about understanding why you can't use indirect with direct, or using a hybrid of the two.

That may work for other methods, but not with Direct Method.

As stated, it's a mindset. It's about eliminating excuses from all aspects of your life, and also not apologizing or rationalizing why you are approaching to and talking to a woman.

And as stated earlier in my first reply to this thread, I pointed out why you're opener was not direct.

I can give you a ton of openers, but if you disqualify the openers with excuses and rationalizations, then they won't do you any good and it seems from your response that you don't understand why your opener was flawed, and why it wasn't direct.

Also, I wrote a post a while back on how I approach. Do a search and find it, or I'll look it up later.

I work in software dev and am currently working 12+ hour days, so sorry if I can't write a step by step guide on Direct.

So in the meantime, you can start here: http://www.direct-method.com/invisionboard/

And no, I haven't undermined anyone else, at least not anyone who knows Direct Method.

90% of the advice you got on this thread is counter-productive to Direct Method and I gave you concrete advice but it appears you didn't understand it even though I was very clear about why your opener was flawed.

More advice: Stop looking at Direct Method as a routine, or as an opener. If you treat it as such it will fail you.

And stop asking for openers as that is not the issue. The issue is that if you preface the opener with excuses and rationalizations, it is counter-productive.

Here's a good direct opener: "You are exceptionally beautiful and it will be really cool for us to get to know each other"

Here's a bad direct opener: "Excuse me, but I was just walking by and I noticed you and I think that you are exceptionally beautiful and I thought it might be cool if we could maybe get to know each other"

Do you understand the difference between the two openers?

The first example is making a statement and also presupposing that the two of you will get to know each other and that it will be really cool.

The second example is more like the one you used and was none of those things.

I don't think you understood, because you wrote this:

"And next you said that my opener was not direct - well I did read up on direct game and a lot of guys are successfully using the opener "you're cute and I want to meet you". Fine, that is what I used."

You left out the part about the several excuses and rationalizations you used as well.

Here is what you actually said:

"Excuse me....this might seem a bit random, but I was just walking past and I think you're incredibly cute...I just wanted to come over and meet you"

Can you see how indirect your direct approach actually was?

Look - I'm here to help anyone that wants help with Direct. But I do have a busy life so if I don't write a step by step guide on Direct then forgive me.

I've given plenty of information in this thread, yet it seems that you don't seem to understand why your approach was not direct.

Also as mentioned, do a search for how I open, or I will do a search later when I have time.

I've been here at work since 8:00 AM and it is now almost 7:00 PM and I won't be out of here for another 2 hours so I will post more on this subject at another time.

 

[Derek Flint]

How I do direct:

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?p=1217989#post1217989

Text of my post from the link above:

OK, here's how I approach:

I'll see the HB 9/10 - I don't wait for eye contact, or any "IOI's" or any of that other stuff.
That is just used by some as an excuse not to approach.
Nor do I approach anything below a HB8
Nor do I approach 10 sets a night, because I don't need to.

Then, I'll take a few seconds to put myself in the proper state.

I will also observe her for a minute or two, if I have enough time, and I'll think about if she is the type of girl I want to meet and get to know based on her interactions with others and the way she behaves, not solely based on her looks.

If so, I then imagine how good she would look naked, underneath me squirming and squealing in sheer delight.

In my mind, that azz is already mine, and I'm going to go take what is rightfully mine, as I own that azz.

Doesn't matter if she's with 3 other HB's, or 3 meatheads who look like they could benchpress Australia. That is my HB That is my azz. It belongs to me.

I walk over to her, or more like stroll over to her, slowly and confidently with my head up, back straight with a smile on my face. Not a goofy type smile, but a warm, genuine sincere smile that creates comfort and trust. And I do this not because some PU guru says to, but because that's how I do it.

If her back is to me, I will gently place my hand on her shoulder and gently turn her toward me. If her shoulder is bare, I will make sure my hand is warm and warm it up first if I've been holding a cold adult beverage previously, so my first contact/impression with her won't be an icy cold touch.

Again, I gently yet dominantly turn her toward me. Then, our eyes meet.
I gaze into her eyes, again with a smile that radiates genuine warmth, comfort and trust. I don't say a word - not yet. I let the sexual tension build, but just for a moment.

I then take her by the hand, or maybe take each of her hands in mine and hold them up a bit to about waist level.

Then, slowly and confidently, with proper tonality, I will open with something like: "You are...(slight pause, again to build sexual tension and to peak her curiousity and interest)...exceptionally beautiful...and I would like to take the time to get to know you" I will then slightly squeeze her hand(s) at this point.

Not to "anchor" or any of that NLP stuff, but to add emphasis to my words and actions.

Then, I don't say a thing. I let those profound words just hang in the air and sink in.

I do widen my smile just a tiny bit, all the while standing there confidently, with my head held high, my back straight, my chest slightly out, shoulders slightly back and feet apart.

Again, not because some "PUA" says to, but because that's the way I do it naturally, especially when I'm feeling bold and confident.

At this point, one of three things will usually happen:

1) She will become somewhat flustered, but her face will "light up" and her body language will also perk up, and she will introduce herself by first name, or sometimes, by first and last name which indicates that my genuine honesty and openness has created instant trust.

At this point, I will qualify her by asking her if she is the type of person I should get to know, and if so, why? Or a similar qualifier to let her know that she's not getting a free pass just because she's hot.

She still has to meet my standards.

2) She will say "oh my god" a few times and might even begin to tremble.
I have experienced this phenomena more than once.
Again, I will qualify her for the reasons stated above.

3) She will say that she is extremely flattered, and loves my direct, no BS approach, but she has a b/f. I have a method I created for that obstacle that is somewhat effective, but I'm not going to share it here as it is my own original work and I don't want people using it and having it make the rounds on all the PU forums and eventually making it's way to the upscale lounges that I frequent.

Sorry, but it is sheer genius if I may say so, and I'm not going to share it so please, don't PM me and ask for it. I will delete your PM without responding.

Again, I apologize, but this is something I created and it took me years to come up with it, field test it and perfect it, and I'm not going to have it being used by half the aspiring PUA's in San Francisco's upscale Marina District.

3a) She has a b/f, but is so impressed with my genuine, ballsy, honest and sincere approach, she will introduce me to her HB friend(s) if she is present, and she may even "wing" for me. Again, this has actually happened and more than once.

Also, notice when I open, I don't say anything like "excuse me, but..." or "I saw you and I thought I would come over here and..." or "Excuse me, I usually don't do this but..." or "I think you are beautiful..." or anything like that.

(Edit: Subtle difference between saying "I think you are beautiful" and saying "You are beautiful" - Saying "I think" sounds more like an opinion or that you are unsure, where as "You are beautiful" is making a statement)

Why don't I say those things? Because I don't need to use a disclaimer or a reason as to why I came over to talk to her, other than what I stated above.

And when approaching and opening in an honest, sincere, open manner, women will usually respond in kind. They will follow your lead if it is genuine and from the heart, and they will open up to you.

If she has the attitude that she can use or manipulate me because I was honest and complimented her, or if she gets a "princess" attitude, then she just DQ'd herself, as I want nothing to do with those type of girls, but they are few and far between in my experiences when you lead by a positive example like I described above.

If you open with a lie, such as an artificial time constraint, or another lie like using an opinion opener by asking her a question that you don't care about the answer, or faking disinterest, then guess what? You're going to get the same in return - lies, fakeness, manipulation, etc...

Do you think you have a better chance of creating Attraction, Interest, Rapport, Comfort, etc... when you base your first interactions with her on lies and manipulative tactics, or on genuine honesty, warmth and sincerity?

You make the call.

Now, if being honest, genuine, open and sincere is not your persona, not who you are, then you will come across as fake and disingenuous as women have a sixth sense when it comes to BS

So, there you have it. The doubters can come up with a million excuses why it doesn't work, and you know what?
It won't for them because they already have convinced themselves that it won't, and that will come across in their approach if they do try going direct.

A self fulfilling prophecy.

It has to be genuine, and it has to come from deep within and not from some PU ebook or Home Study Course.

 

[Agent Zero]

If anyone thinks he would have gotten a different result on this approach just by leaving out a few words in his approach and being 100% direct in all he did, well, you've just substituted the indirect cult for a direct one. She was in a bad mood, bad day, whatever! Keep approaching!

 

[Obsidian]

wow, interesting strategy, Derek. How long did it take you to master?

 

[Python]

About awkward silences. My attitude is if there's an awkward silence then it's half her fault. So don't get too down on yourself.

 

[Guitar_Whizz]

Ok cheers for all the replies. Derek, that was nice and detailed, thanks. I have now joined direct-method.com and also directthegame.com and have had a look at the forums. I understand what direct is all about, but I need to get out there and regularly approach girls with this approach until I feel really comfortable with it.

Derek, you outlined a typical direct approach that you'd make. Now what sort of situations are you applying this in? Daytime? Night? Shops? Street? Bus? Etc? I feel a bit weird going up to a girl and holding her hands before I said my opener...I mean, that would really freak most girls out. But hey, if it worked for you, great.

I don't think there's anything wrong with saying "Hi" or "Excuse me" before you do your approach. That's NOT supplicating, it's just getting her attention before you speak. I don't like stuff like "I know this is a bit random", so I'll drop that.

 

[Guitar_Whizz]

I've also looked up the book 'Mode One' - that looks good. Anyone read the e-book, and if so was it any good?

 

[DonJoseCantosie]

Hey Guitar_Whizz...gonna finally evaluate your approach. Responses in bold

Ok guys, as many of you know, I've been getting into direct game lately. Well today I finally field tested a really direct opener - and I COMPLETELY crashed 'n' burned!

I wouldn't call it being crashed and burned at all.

I went into town about 3pm and walked around for a bit. Not too much AA but wasn't too bothered about approaching as I had a few things to do in town....but then I decided I would DEFINITELY do at least one really direct approach, whatever the outcome, just to conquer the fear and to see what happened.

Anyway, around 4.30pm I went in McDonalds for a chicken wrap, and there were no sets (well every girl was way too young). Finally, just as I'd finished eating, in walked a decent (and legal!) 2 set, HB7s, and they sat at a table near me. I went to the toilets and then approached them as I was on my way out....well let's just say, this was a complete ****ing disaster!! Here is what happened:-

Don't call this a disaster at all. A disaster would've been if a fight was going on or something

I walked over to their table. There were people on tables nearby who saw and heard everything I did/said, but I didn't let that bother me. I kept alpha body language, stood still, no figety movements, looked the girl I liked in the eyes and....

Me: (Looking at one of the girls) 'Excuse me....this might seem a bit random, but I was just walking past and I think you're incredibly cute...I just wanted to come over and meet you'.

Her: 'Ok'

At this point she had a completely disinterested vibe and had a blank expression on her face, and I could tell my opener had gone down like a lead balloon Sad There was a VERY awkard silence, so I said 'Are you friendly?' Her friend immediately ****blocked me with 'no'.

I then said 'Ok I thought you were kinda cute but I wondered if you were an interesting person'. My target and her friend just blanked me (they actually turned away) and my target went bright red in the face, so I said 'oh, you're blushing'. The target said 'I've got a boyfriend'. I could tell she was extremely uncomfortable and she did not know how to react.


I then sat down on an empty seat that was at their table, but as I did, the ****block said 'we don't know you' and they both immediately got up and moved to the next table! I was really taken aback by this and I felt very uncomfortable, so I ejected.


Wow, talk about a crash and burn! I'm glad I finally did a direct approach, but this did NOT go well. I've had a think about what went wrong and I've come to the conclusion that perhaps the way they reacted was just the way they were 'conditioned' to act on such a direct approach. Also, approaching a 2 set with this opener was not such a great idea - I think I'd be better opening a lone wolf with this opener.

Or maybe I just wasn't her type....oh well.






The thing is....I'm over the fear of approaching with direct openers, but now I have another fear. My other fear is the 'awkard vibe' that happens immediately after I've said my direct line. I mean, I'm really putting a girl on the spot with this opener, and it's almost as if they don't know how to react and they just say 'ok' in a kind of unsure, meek sort of way. I hate the feeling I have at this point in the sarge, and if the vibe at the beginning of the sarge is 'awkward' then it doesn't exactly set things off the right way....

I am going to field test this direct approach a good 20 or 30 more times in the daytime and see what the general reaction from girls is. If in general I'm getting bad reactions I may resort to situational, indirect methods (no canned routines though). I want to see if this direct approach works or not - my thought is that generally it'll generate a lot of rejections due to the girl's 'preconditioned' automatic response, but if enough approaches are done, will generate a few interested girls.

Finally, I will say that even though I crashed and burned, I got a HUGE thrill from doing such a direct approach. I felt HORRIBLE when I got such a point blank response though!

Firstly, congratulations on your first direct approach. It does take balls to do what you did my friend. Now on to the approach. The line you used, i think there was no need to say, "Excuse me" or "I just walked past you" or "Is this random?" as it implies ur making excuses for approaching. A better line would've just been "You're incredibly cute and I wanted to meet you" as ur right to the point, ur unapologetic and straightforward. She can either accept or reject. I think her response wasn't quite disinterest at all. if she was beat red, then she prolly felt very embarrased just for being put on the spot(Some girls act differently when embarrased). She didn't know how to handle the situation, hence with the "Ok" comment she gave you.

Also...the questions about "Is she friendly?" isn't a good idea, because it sort is implying(eventho u aren't) that she could possibly be cold, which no girls want to be thought of that way. In terms of the ****blocking saying "no", after this...keep ur attention on the target, not the ****block. Also, about ur fear of when its awkward...they're caught off guard...so its only natural for them to look surprised/not saying anything...its ur job to free them of the feeling of being uncomfortable...so the feeling of awkwardness...is a fear that one needs to get through. But keep up the approaching man

 

[Guitar_Whizz]

Thanks again for the many excellent replies. DonJose....you made some interesting points. I think you're right - my target's reaction was simply that she felt put on the spot and didn't know how to react! For all I know, she might have been fantasising about me that night!

I am just going to get used to direct approaching and I'll get used to it after a while. I know this is a good way to meet women and to weed out the disinterested ones and get to the ones who are interesting quickly.

A question though....once I've delivered the opening line....what next? Do I apply the 90/10 rule (which basically means I keep talking about ANYTHING in order to keep the conversation going and to get the girl used to me)....or do I let there be a slight silence and then say something like "but beauty these days is common, so I just wondered if you were an interesting person?"...in order to get her to qualify herself to me?

 

[tripleplay]

Guitar Whizz: This is one of the problems with approaching girls in England - they're just not used to it, and react in full-on social conditioning mode. Especially with the proper game stuff. British women, on average, are nowhere near as friendly as their American counterparts.

I think your opener is really not that good. It comes across as very needy and unnecessarily uncomfortable. I can see why they were freaked out by your up-frontedness. Also, I'd suggest that you probably weren't congruent with your body language. It's one thing going in with a confident opening line (although I'd disagree that your's was all that confident sounding), but if your body language and general demenor is not confident then you will crash and burn. I'd suggest working on your confidence and just making more standard approaches in bars and clubs (preferably after a few drinks) when you're starting out with approaches.

Furthermore, as has already been suggested, try, "hi" as an opener, followed by a comment about something she is actually doing. Or comment on the surroundings in general. Make it relaxed and mix in some humour. You may get something out of this: http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=16646. This is just a very basic blueprint for a conversation, but it's a very useful thread.

 

[ChrizZ]

Direct isn't a method. It is a way of life. Women are only a part of it. You have to apply it in every area of your life. The opener doesn't matter. You have to tell her what you are thinking.

You see her walking in the room and you think. Oh my god, she is pretty. I have to get to know her. After that you tell her exactly what you think of her without any excuses. I'm also new to direct game and it is damn hard, but I believe mastering it is well worth it. I don't even think most AFC's are depressed because they don't have a gf or don't get any sex. I think what really pisses them off is that they are ruled by fear because they are too scared to express their feelings so they hide them which is not good. You are no PUA if you master direct. You are still the same person. However you stepped out of the matrix to do what you were born to do. To be a man that goes for what he wants. A man that lives in his own reality and is immune to social conditioning.

 

[Alkali]

Ouch. Um, well. This is where you should have stopped:

"At this point she had a completely disinterested vibe"

Then say,

"Oh well, I had to say SOMETHING! It's not everyday you see two beauties walk into McDonalds."

Or something along those lines. Fish for a number if you get the vibe.

Or just leave knowing that you gave them a little ego boost.

Either way they would have appreciated your visit and talked about it later...in a good way.

When you sat down uninvited you became persistent, pesky, and possibly a creepy individual in their eyes.

 

[ketostix]

Disclaimer: I don't think Direct is the only way or the way.

Derek made good points about how to do Direct so I won't repeat that.

I actually think your approach was direct but you communicated it weakly and tentatively. And for direct to work I think you have to be comfortable and confident when you are being direct with a girl you approach.

I don't like to open with compliments because it does put the girl on the spot, maybe embarassing her and making her uncomfortable and validates her. Why not just say something like, "Hey, how are you doing..I wanted to meet you.."? Let the part you thinking she's incredibly cute be subcommunicated and maybe even something for her to ponder over whether or not you think she's incredibly cute. That's what being Indirect is really about. it's not about lies,, manipulation or games.

Had you just said "Hey there, you're incredibly cute and I wanted to meet you." Then proceed from there, it probably would've worked better. Prefacing it with "Excuse me..I know this is random..etc." Communicated that what you were doing is awkward and lead her to accept and awkward frame I think.

After she said ,"OK" to your opener. You had little chance of turning things in your favor.

There could be a few reasons why your opener didn't go well besides how it was worded. But I think the main ones might have been.

1. She just wasn't attracted to you visually.
2. She really does have a serious BF and isn't a very social or nice person
either.

But one set doesn't matter. You need to keep practicing opening and meeting other girls. That way you'll find out how to make things work for you.

 

[ketostix]

Disclaimer: I don't think Direct is the only way or the way.

Derek made good points about how to do Direct so I won't repeat that.

I actually think your approach was direct but you communicated it weakly and tentatively. And for direct to work I think you have to be comfortable and confident when you are being direct with a girl you approach.

I don't like to open with compliments because it does put the girl on the spot, maybe embarassing her and making her uncomfortable and validates her. Why not just say something like, "Hey, how are you doing..I wanted to meet you.."? Let the part you thinking she's incredibly cute be subcommunicated and maybe even something for her to ponder over whether or not you think she's incredibly cute. That's what being Indirect is really about. it's not about lies,, manipulation or games.

Had you just said "Hey there, you're incredibly cute and I wanted to meet you." Then proceed from there, it probably would've worked better. Prefacing it with "Excuse me..I know this is random..etc." Communicated that what you were doing is awkward and lead her to accept and awkward frame I think.

After she said ,"OK" to your opener. You had little chance of turning things in your favor.

There could be a few reasons why your opener didn't go well besides how it was worded. But I think the main ones might have been.

1. She just wasn't attracted to you visually.
2. She really does have a serious BF and isn't a very social or nice person
either.

But one set doesn't matter. You need to keep practicing opening and meeting other girls. That way you'll find out how to make things work for you.