My first really direct approach - completely crashed & burned....

[Guitar_Whizz]

Ok guys, as many of you know, I've been getting into direct game lately. Well today I finally field tested a really direct opener - and I COMPLETELY crashed 'n' burned!

I went into town about 3pm and walked around for a bit. Not too much AA but wasn't too bothered about approaching as I had a few things to do in town....but then I decided I would DEFINITELY do at least one really direct approach, whatever the outcome, just to conquer the fear and to see what happened.

Anyway, around 4.30pm I went in McDonalds for a chicken wrap, and there were no sets (well every girl was way too young). Finally, just as I'd finished eating, in walked a decent (and legal!) 2 set, HB7s, and they sat at a table near me. I went to the toilets and then approached them as I was on my way out....well let's just say, this was a complete ****ing disaster!! Here is what happened:-

I walked over to their table. There were people on tables nearby who saw and heard everything I did/said, but I didn't let that bother me. I kept alpha body language, stood still, no figety movements, looked the girl I liked in the eyes and....

Me: (Looking at one of the girls) 'Excuse me....this might seem a bit random, but I was just walking past and I think you're incredibly cute...I just wanted to come over and meet you'.

Her: 'Ok'

At this point she had a completely disinterested vibe and had a blank expression on her face, and I could tell my opener had gone down like a lead balloon Sad There was a VERY awkard silence, so I said 'Are you friendly?' Her friend immediately ****blocked me with 'no'.

I then said 'Ok I thought you were kinda cute but I wondered if you were an interesting person'. My target and her friend just blanked me (they actually turned away) and my target went bright red in the face, so I said 'oh, you're blushing'. The target said 'I've got a boyfriend'. I could tell she was extremely uncomfortable and she did not know how to react.

I then sat down on an empty seat that was at their table, but as I did, the ****block said 'we don't know you' and they both immediately got up and moved to the next table! I was really taken aback by this and I felt very uncomfortable, so I ejected.

Wow, talk about a crash and burn! I'm glad I finally did a direct approach, but this did NOT go well. I've had a think about what went wrong and I've come to the conclusion that perhaps the way they reacted was just the way they were 'conditioned' to act on such a direct approach. Also, approaching a 2 set with this opener was not such a great idea - I think I'd be better opening a lone wolf with this opener.

Or maybe I just wasn't her type....oh well.

The thing is....I'm over the fear of approaching with direct openers, but now I have another fear. My other fear is the 'awkard vibe' that happens immediately after I've said my direct line. I mean, I'm really putting a girl on the spot with this opener, and it's almost as if they don't know how to react and they just say 'ok' in a kind of unsure, meek sort of way. I hate the feeling I have at this point in the sarge, and if the vibe at the beginning of the sarge is 'awkward' then it doesn't exactly set things off the right way....

I am going to field test this direct approach a good 20 or 30 more times in the daytime and see what the general reaction from girls is. If in general I'm getting bad reactions I may resort to situational, indirect methods (no canned routines though). I want to see if this direct approach works or not - my thought is that generally it'll generate a lot of rejections due to the girl's 'preconditioned' automatic response, but if enough approaches are done, will generate a few interested girls.

Finally, I will say that even though I crashed and burned, I got a HUGE thrill from doing such a direct approach. I felt HORRIBLE when I got such a point blank response though!

 

[Obsidian]

:crackup:

oh well

when you asked about this approach, I figured you meant you would try it in bars, rather than a fast food restaurant in the daytime

It's good that you're being courageous, but I honestly think your line is just unnecessarily awkward. You would get by just as well (or better) with "Hi," followed by a comment about your surroundings.

 

[SaucyBoy]

You have to see interest level above zero first. Really.

I have never approached unless there is a look or something that I can take hold of. It has to be the right look too. Not fear or surprise or she just happened to be looking at you.

The direct approach can work but man! It's really mining for diamonds at the dump.

Here's my M.O. - I like the grocery store. Lots of things to talk about like where is stuff. Also, you can tell a lot about a woman from her cart contents. Baby food. PASS. I've accidently knocked down boxes. It did get me a phone number. Not the smoothest but hey.

Obsidian is right, this works more in bars and nightclubs.

I'm finding the gym at work to be interesting. I can fake an injury or stumble sometimes. It never seems like it's PUA in action. I don't usually go to these extremes. Mostly it's 'how do I work this thing?' - I also see different ones there regularly. That helps big time. They know I'm EMPLOYED and not a welfare case. I know they are too.

I have tried direct off the street and it has never worked. If you are extraordinary it might.

 

[Agent Zero]

I haven't approached a 2-set directly, but I could see how that could be a problem. It's probably a good idea to start off with solo girls. I agree with you the direct approach does put the girl on the spot and I'm thinking of changing mine up to soften the blow a bit. I don't know if it's the line though cause on a few occasions I have delivered the opener perfectly and got the flattered reaction I was looking for. So Direct can work, but you have to do it correctly. You were coming from the bathroom too, dude, haha.

 

[movistar]

In that setting, I wouldn't approach with the "your cute" approach, I think it was great that you did that approach. If you would have used something more subtle she wouldn't have gotten shy, and her friend was a bich. Always the fat friend to c*ockblo*k!

 

[Last Man Standing]

Sometimes the best approach is no approach - especially when she is with another person!!

You don't have to approach every girl that you fancy!! Environment is a big part of the approach!

When you said she was cute, at the same time you silently said her friend wasn't cute!

 

[Derek Flint]

What you did was not a Direct Approach.

What you did was approach, then make a bunch of excuses and rationalizations as to why you approached, all but guaranteeing a Crash and Burn.

"Me: (Looking at one of the girls) 'Excuse me....this might seem a bit random, but I was just walking past and I think you're incredibly cute...I just wanted to come over and meet you'."

Can you count the number of excuses and rationalizations just in those few words?

Guys, direct is not just about the approach, it's an attitude, a mindset, a way of life.

The above was NOT a Direct Approach.

You demonstrated low value with all of your excuses and rationalizations for approaching her.

Now, would it have gone better had you not prefaced your opener with all those disclaimers?

I don't know. I wasn't there to see it take place.

But by reading your post, I bet your body language probably mirrored your excuser and rationalization mentality, as did your vocal tonality.

Direct is about no excuses, no rationalizing, no apologizing for approaching women whenever and wherever you want.

I didn't have to read past the part I quoted to know the results of your approach.

If I sound harsh, I do apologize, but if you are going to go the Direct Approach/Method route, you have to do it 100% and not just in your dealings with women.

Anyways, hopefully you learned from your crash and burn and will do better, but also remember that Direct isn't really an approach or even a method.

You are either direct in your life or you are not.

Direct is not a routine you can use like "The Cube" or any of that other BS

-----------------------------------------------

Edit: Just finished reading the responses to the original poster.

Direct works very well in all environments, not just nightclubs. In fact, it seems to work better during the daytime.

Also, I do not do things like wait for IOI's (Indicators of Interest) or any of that stuff.
I see her, I go for her. I don't wait, I don't hesitate. Hesitation sub communicates a lack of confidence, and waiting for IOI's is just another excuse not to approach.

Approach who you want, when you want, where you want, within reason.

That is what makes it even more effective, because it sub communicates that you have balls and that you don't care what other people think.

Again, Direct is a whole different ball game, so if you have the "community" and the "masf" mindset and rules ingrained in your head, you must get rid of all that crap as it will have an adverse affect on you if you chose to go the Direct route.

 

[PhX]

Why do so many people open with "i think your cute and wanted to meet you".

That's a terrible opener. You have to demonstrate higher value to your target and this line just makes you look like an AFC. You don't want to compliment her right off the bat. You should gain attraction first.

 

[Tear Gas]

good job on trying bro..that takes a lot of confidence! Try changing up the opening line and see how it works. one thing, why did you sit down when she started giving you a bad vibe and said "i have a bf"..i would of left immediately after that and possibly said something witty/mean to them on the way out haha but again good job on trying!

 

[PhX]

This opener is ESPECIALLY bad opening a 2-set.

You need to gain comfort and value for BOTH friends, not just compliment the one and completely forget about the other. This is why she ****blocked you and said no.

 

[Derek Flint]

This opener is ESPECIALLY bad opening a 2-set.

You need to gain comfort and value for BOTH friends, not just compliment the one and completely forget about the other. This is why she ****blocked you and said no.

Utter community BS

Read my reply above why he crashed and burned.

I have Direct approached 9's and 10's and have had their friends wing for me, not CB me, because they were so impressed by my direct, no BS, non-community game playing crap.

I've also had 9's and 10's who turned out to be engaged, married or be in a relationship and hook me up with their equally hot single friends for the reasons I mentioned above.

I create attraction and value by my actions, not by reciting and parroting someone else's routines.

This thread is about Direct Method and Approaches, so please don't hijack it with MM/MASF BS

 

[Tear Gas]

Utter community BS

Read my reply above why he crashed and burned.

I have Direct approached 9's and 10's and have had their friends wing for me, not CB me, because they were so impressed by my direct, no BS, non-community game playing crap.

I've also had 9's and 10's who turned out to be engaged, married or be in a relationship and hook me up with their equally hot single friends for the reasons I mentioned above.

I create attraction and value by my actions, not by reciting and parroting someone else's routines.

This thread is about Direct Method and Approaches, so please don't hijack it with MM/MASF BS

I understand that you're saying that direct approaching is all about confidence and being direct, not making excuses of approaching. What i want to know is what you say when you first approach. I already know being confident, looking your best, being direct and staring in her eyes are important too. Basically how the conversation with her goes! Do you just get her number and leave?

 

[Derek Flint]

I understand that you're saying that direct approaching is all about confidence and being direct, not making excuses of approaching. What i want to know is what you say when you first approach. I already know being confident, looking your best, being direct and staring in her eyes are important too. Basically how the conversation with her goes! Do you just get her number and leave?

Too many guys make the mistake of leaving after they've gotten a number, like they just robbed a bank or something.

For me, I take a number as a last option, not a 1st or 2nd or 3rd or whatever, but there is no reason to leave as soon as you got her number.

Think about what it sub communicates to her if that as soon as you get the number, you leave.

It is almost as bad as leaving right after you've had sex with her.

I can't tell you what to say when to approach, as every girl and situation is different.

This is why I loathe canned material, as it will actually prevent people from developing their wit and the ability to think on their feet and adapt to her responses and changes in the environment.

I can tell you what not to say, as I pointed out in the reply to the original post, and that is, don't make excuses for approaching her and talking to her.

You/we both know why you are approaching her.

And it's not because we are dying to know if she flosses before or after brushing, or if she thinks David Bowie is hot, or because we want to know who lies more, men or women?

 

[DonJuan11]

Me: (Looking at one of the girls) 'Excuse me....this might seem a bit random, but I was just walking past and I think you're incredibly cute...I just wanted to come over and meet you'.

Her: 'Ok'

At this point she had a completely disinterested vibe and had a blank expression on her face, and I could tell my opener had gone down like a lead balloon Sad There was a VERY awkard silence, so I said 'Are you friendly?' Her friend immediately ****blocked me with 'no'.

I then said 'Ok I thought you were kinda cute but I wondered if you were an interesting person'. My target and her friend just blanked me (they actually turned away) and my target went bright red in the face, so I said 'oh, you're blushing'. The target said 'I've got a boyfriend'. I could tell she was extremely uncomfortable and she did not know how to react.

I then sat down on an empty seat that was at their table, but as I did, the ****block said 'we don't know you' and they both immediately got up and moved to the next table! I was really taken aback by this and I felt very uncomfortable, so I ejected.

LOL. I don't think "are you friendly" is a good thing to ask to anyone. It's almost like saying "Are you slutty?"

But props on the approach.

 

[Trapper]

The more you try, the more you get success.. no worries.. next time you feel more confidence and so on... Its all about experience and confidence..
Good Luck..

 

[BluEyes]

Originally posted by LMS
Sometimes the best approach is no approach - especially when she is with another person!!

You don't have to approach every girl that you fancy!! Environment is a big part of the approach!

When you said she was cute, at the same time you silently said her friend wasn't cute!

QFT

Somebody had his morning coffee

 

[Derek Flint]

QFT

Somebody had his morning coffee

Respectfully disagree.

When correctly approaching a woman and creating attraction and displaying value, her friend(s) will do everything they can to get the two of you together instead of CB'ng you.

 

[greenlake]

first of all. Good job!!! Unlike most guys on here, you finally got the gutz to approach a girl in an honest way and get that powerful feeling which can not attain with indirect.

btw, stop thinking too much. you did nothing wrong.....u actually did good for your first time. Screw body language, eye contacts, voice tone etc for now. It will comes as you approach more girls cause then you'll be comfortable with yourself. But if you want to know the truth then let me tell you. she probably is not interested in you and there is nothing you can do to change that. Or, she was nervous and don't know what to do cause her friend was there. How to avoid that? don't, let it comes or just fvcking tell that girl to not ****block you. Isn't that the point of being direct? Direct is not a freaking opener, it's a mindset.

 

[Randallpink83]

good job man on the approach.

too bad you ran into immature/mean chicks... but that happens, very often.

I wouldn't get discouraged... This whole direct approaching thing is just an experiment anyhow right? Well keep at it if you really want to learn it. Luckily it can't get much worse from here right? lol. I say try some more.

The direct approach thing aint for me, but it could very possibly be for you!

...but wow, I hate when girls gotta be so mean. a hb7 at a mcdonalds... lol and she acted like she got approached all day long and it was bothering her.. lol girls crack me up. Probably the first time she had been hit on in weeks.
but yes I agree, It would be easier with a solo girl. She has to play cool in front of her friend.

 

[Agent Zero]

Whatever you do....don't listen to all these guys questioning your opener. Your opener could be better, but whatever, you will gain 100x more just by working on your body language and delivery. Don't fall into the KBJ trap of obsessing over what you say!