My female friend has an AFC "stalker"

[STR8UP]

Maybe not QUITE a stalker, but pretty close.....

I have a friend who started dating this guy about a month ago. Everything seemed ok at first, although I could sense that she wasn't really into him from the very beginning. She dated him for a few weeks, but he got really clingy and started sending her dirty texts all day long that made her uncomfortable, so she broke it off.

Before she broke up with him she asked my advice on how to do it and I told her "just make sure you do it soon and be 100% clear about it".

She is friends with another girl I know. She asked her the same question, and the other girl told her to TEXT him that she doesn't want to see him anymore. Not the right way to go about breaking it off, but with this guy I doubt it would have made any difference if she told him face to face.

So after she broke it off with him, the guy kept texting and calling her. She did pick up the phone one time and told the guy she just didn't feel that they were compatible. He tried to convince her otherwise. LOSER.

Now it's been a couple of weeks and the guy is STILL texting her a bunch of AFC sh!t. She just forwarded me his latest whiny, pitiful attempt to get her back.

She doesn't respond to his attempts to contact her anymore, but he still won't give up. She's getting a little freaked out and doesn't know what to do. Aside from ME sending him a message (which I really don't want to do) I don't know what to tell her. Any ideas?

 

[DJDamage]

She doesn't respond to his attempts to contact her anymore, but he still won't give up. She's getting a little freaked out and doesn't know what to do. Aside from ME sending him a message (which I really don't want to do) I don't know what to tell her. Any ideas?

This is what I am talking about with female friends dragging in you down to their drama filled life, getting you involve in sh1t and blowing things out of proportion.

Don't tell her nothing and whatever you do don't get involved with her life filled drama. If she is that stressed about it then tell her to not pick up the fvcking phone or block his number. Worse case scenerio she can call the cops and let them either deal with it or call her crazy. This woman is not fragile and she can take care of herself.

So the guy is calling her all the time so what?? Its only in a woman irrational mind making a guy that doesn't stop calling, one step closer to being a serial killer/rapist when in actuality at this moment its just nuisance. Making a mountain out of a mole......

 

[( . )( . )]

Your the girlfriend guy yeah?

Why waste bandwidth with such a ridiculous non issue? This should NOT be in the mature section.

So the guy is calling her all the time so what?? Its only in a woman irrational mind making a guy that doesn't stop calling, one step closer to being a serial killer/rapist when in actuality at this moment its just nuisance. Making a mountain out of a mole......

I'd go one step closer and say deep down this chick doesnt give half of a sh!t that this guy does over the latest crisis he's absorbed himself into.

Maybe not QUITE a stalker, but pretty close.....

I can just see the next episode of lipstick drama this chick hands STR8UP to run with and amplify, "Maybe not QUITE a rapist, but pretty close..."

 

[ThunderMaverick]

Yeah the dude is just really hurt. It doesn't mean he's plotting to rape her, he just wants things to work. The poor fool doesn't even know he's making things worse. He thinks he's actually making it better. ; Maybe you should talk to him?

Or just stay out of the whole ordeal! That's a better idea! Don't become another ear she can just constantly yap into either. Like everyone else said, she has GIRLFRIENDS for that.

 

[WaterTiger]

DO NOT GET INVOLVED!!

If she's that worried about this nut job then she needs to go to the police and have a restraining order put out on this guy. A visit from the boys in blue will scare him far more than a "fake" boyfriend.:trouble:

DO NOT GET INVOLVED!!!!!
(If he IS a true psycho, killing you might sound good to him. Then he can "console" her while she recovers from the grief of your death.)

 

[Latinoman]

I believe you said in another thread that you don't get involved in your female "friends" drama.

This appear to be drama. And you appear to be very involved.

 

[Mind_Body_Soul]

The dude is just doing what I'm sure some of us have done in the past... Maybe not to this extent but it's just typical AFC behavior. I'm sure he's hoping he can use the sex talk and convince her to hook up with him again. It's probably harmless.

She should probably call him up and say listen, I'm banging some other dude now, PEACE OUT.

 

[Sinistar]

Rescuer/saviour schema?

 

[STR8UP]

This is what I am talking about with female friends dragging in you down to their drama filled life, getting you involve in sh1t and blowing things out of proportion.

This is one of my female friends who I actually DO have a closer relationship with, and as such I have no problem pointing her in the right direction if she asks my opinion. She isn't making a huge deal out of it, but she is expressing her concern as a single female. How is that blowing something out of proportion?

If you don't know how easily women get freaked out by stuff like this then you don't know women. I don't blame her for thinking it's a bit creepy that this guy won't leave her alone after she has made it clear that she has no interest.

Its only in a woman irrational mind making a guy that doesn't stop calling, one step closer to being a serial killer/rapist when in actuality at this moment its just nuisance. Making a mountain out of a mole......

Like I said, SHE'S A CHICK. And chicks aren't like guys when it comes to stuff like this.

I live in a good neighborhood and I wouldn't hesitate to walk a couple of blocks to a bar to have a drink at midnight, but no woman I know would feel safe doing the same. You can't compare YOUR logic and comfort levels to that of a woman.

 

[STR8UP]

Your the girlfriend guy yeah?

Why waste bandwidth with such a ridiculous non issue? This should NOT be in the mature section.

So why waste more bandwidth with a reply?

 

[STR8UP]

Yeah the dude is just really hurt. It doesn't mean he's plotting to rape her, he just wants things to work. The poor fool doesn't even know he's making things worse. He thinks he's actually making it better. ; Maybe you should talk to him?

Or just stay out of the whole ordeal! That's a better idea! Don't become another ear she can just constantly yap into either. Like everyone else said, she has GIRLFRIENDS for that.

I realize that this guy is probably harmless and so does she. But being female she looks at it with extra caution, and rightfully so.

She doesn't yap in my ear about anything. She initially asked my advice and keeps me updated, just like any friend would.

 

[( . )( . )]

So why waste more bandwidth with a reply?

I dunno, a vain attempt to clear away High school related discussion?

 

[STR8UP]

I believe you said in another thread that you don't get involved in your female "friends" drama.

This appear to be drama. And you appear to be very involved.

It's not drama at all. It's more of a running joke than anything, but she does have a little concern and I can't blame her.

So if one of my guy friends came to me with the same problem I should not get involved with his "drama"?

Matter of fact, I've known my business partner since high school and HE even went through something similar a few years ago. When he asked my opinion should I have told him to get lost?

You guys are making this a female only drama issue when it could happen to anyone. If I came here asking ideas to give HIM you guys would have a completely different response. Think about it.

 

[STR8UP]

The dude is just doing what I'm sure some of us have done in the past... Maybe not to this extent but it's just typical AFC behavior. I'm sure he's hoping he can use the sex talk and convince her to hook up with him again. It's probably harmless.

She should probably call him up and say listen, I'm banging some other dude now, PEACE OUT.

I dunno, I have been in a couple of pathetic situations in the past but I have NEVER kept calling weeks after she made it clear that I wasn't wanted.

 

[d9930380]

I won't offer advice to her as this is a man's advice forum but I will offer advice to you.

We are saying that it's none of YOUR business. As you said, she's even sees it more as a joke than a real issue. Let her deal with it, if she asks your advice, say "if it's really bothering you then call the police". Don't get involved behond that.

However chances are she's just making her life seem more interesting and also manipulating you into being the "good" guy in her life. Next you'll be putting up her ****ing shelves.

 

[musclyjerk]

You have told her what to do - to be 100% clear about it. She hasn't followed your simple yet effective advice therefore she deserves to be stalked by this man. I imagine she secretly enjoys it which is why she won't be straight with him and will continue to milk this situation for all it's worth.

Until he knows there isn't a cat in hells chance, he will pursue. She knows this - she's a woman. She isn't stupid.

The fact you have made her problem yours tells me you're being a little AFC yourself.

Why not try this: "Look, I've told you what to do. Stop milking the situation and be straight with the poor guy. Be direct, he obviously can't take a hint."

If you make her feel like trash and have her believe you think bad of her for not behaving in the way you think she ought to (by being 100% clear) she will likely respond by setting him straight just to feel better about herself as she won't enjoy milking it anymore. ..providing she cares about your opinion of her.. which is why this would also make this a good test of her character.

The Muscly Jerk

 

[DJDamage]

If you don't know how easily women get freaked out by stuff like this then you don't know women. I don't blame her for thinking it's a bit creepy that this guy won't leave her alone after she has made it clear that she has no interest.

I do know women and they also freak out when they see a spider crawling around so just like a harmless spider it ain't a big deal and its not worth paying much attention to. You might as well feel the need to step in and help her overcome every irrational fear she has because chicks have one every hour and in the end of the day they somehow overcome it without the help of anyone. Your help is not needed in this situation and the last thing you need is to get waist deep involved in her problems.

 

[STR8UP]

The fact you have made her problem yours tells me you're being a little AFC yourself.

Why not try this: "Look, I've told you what to do. Stop milking the situation and be straight with the poor guy. Be direct, he obviously can't take a hint."

If you make her feel like trash and have her believe you think bad of her for not behaving in the way you think she ought to (by being 100% clear) she will likely respond by setting him straight just to feel better about herself as she won't enjoy milking it anymore. ..providing she cares about your opinion of her.. which is why this would also make this a good test of her character.

The Muscly Jerk

Jeezus friggin christ, I post a simple question (without making ANY indication that I think this is MY problem, mind you) and everyone thinks I'm wrapped up in some chick's drama and trying to save her from the world.......WTF?????

And she isn't milking the situation. She hasn't returned his texts or emails. He sent her some whiny ass crap last night, then he texted her FOUR more times this morning. If some chick did that to me I wouldn't be too happy myself.

 

[STR8UP]

Your help is not needed in this situation and the last thing you need is to get waist deep involved in her problems.

See my last reply.

Really, where is everyone getting that this is a huge deal and that I am getting wrapped up in a huge mess?

Like I said, if I had posted that this was a guy friend I wouldn't be getting these kinds of responses.

 

[( . )( . )]

Really, where is everyone getting that this is a huge deal and that I am getting wrapped up in a huge mess?

From you silly rabbit and who said it was a huge deal? I said it was a non issue. You unfortunately have swallowed the game of female drama, combine that with the Rescuer/saviour schema as sinistar suggested and we have the "crisis", which is ENTIRELY given merit and substance by your own mind.

Again, this bird honestly doesnt give half of a crap about this as much as you do. Tomorrow it will be a broken nail or problems with her mother or issues with next door etc etc.

"Stalker" is the new black anyway, almost as cool as the latest designer handbag.

then he texted her FOUR more times this morning.

VICTOR CHARLIE TANGO TO BASE, CALL IN SWAT...OVER!!

**Helicopter blades drown out the sound of sirens**