My Ex Is Screwing Me Up

[DJsparky]

So i broke up with my ex who was treating me like crap. Anyways because she wont leave me alone, i am feeling for her again. I feel sick to my stomach and it is like she just knows how to get me that way. I dont blaime her however, i blaime how i react to her.

I know this is about me then her but she is my kryptonite. I will read some RSD post and be over her completely, but then i get a text off her. I will stop thinking about her and she calls me. If i switch my cell off, she will call my house, if i shut my house phone she will send me an email. These chemicals are ****ing me up.

She is a huge drama queen and will ask questions just to get drama. She is a really angry person against me. But I just can't but think if what she is saying is true about me. She says "I am an ****ing idiot who will never attract another woman in his life and i am a **** ****." She's a nasty biznatch.

Here's the deal. Logically i know this girl is nothing. Emotionally i'm being ****ed up. I would say "Go out with the boys" but the reason i have zero social circle is because she chased everyone away. I am alone in this and it's killing me and the worst part is she just knows when to have her name pop up. I have no money, no job, in a different town because i move here for her, i have no social circle. I miss my fun and adventourous me.

It wouldn't be so bad but i lived with her for a whole year, I got used to her, we we're like a married couple and i got emotionally attached. It's like im nearly 21 and Now i am depressed, alone and having panic attacks at night. I can't hardly sleep, this is totally ****ing me up and i don't know what to do. I just find myself playing games and im sure i'm making excuses for myself but where to start with all this.

 

[KontrollerX]

Run a search on Borderline and Histrionic Personality Disorder on this forum to find out if this is the brand of drama queen you are dealing with.

If its not the pathological breed its still crystal clear that whatever type of drama queen she is she is harming your life and not helping to advance it.

You've got an emotional dependency on her because she has made it so that she has become your entire world which is a no no in DJ land.

A woman is to be a part of your world not its sole and entire focus.

She is only contacting you now not because she cares about you but because she wants to be the one to dump you.

She is so sick she just has to win a stupid game with you to feel worth anything so she will pretend and lie and manipulate and play on your emotions to get you back with her.

She is the root of your problem and not its solution despite the strong brain chemicals in your head telling you she is the wellspring of life from which you flow.

No my friend you are the well spring of life from which you flow and you have to believe that and become self sufficient by first making a mature decision that a real man makes to cut cancerous people completely out of his life.

This girl is toxic and is dragging you down.

A good person who loves and cares for you will make you feel good, confident and secure.

Your dealings with this woman have given you panic attacks and made you profoundly sad.

Think about that quietly as you sit in your room for 5 or 10 minutes seriously sit and think about it. Argue with your brain chemical feelings using the full force of manly logic and strength and tell yourself your feelings are deceiving you because they are and that she is not your solution but your problem and only by getting her fully out of your life and going cold no contact as painful as it may be is the only path to recovery.

Its very similar to drug addicts and smokers and alcoholics that try to quit.

They know that what they are doing is bad for them but the brain chemicals push them towards their doom.

Its the same with love for destructive women though it should be noted its not true love but a sick form of dependency and I think if one is truly honest with themself repeatedly about a person's true effect on their life whenever their "feelings" for this person creep up that gradually logic will win over but you have to work at it just as any chemical addict has to work to overcome their addiction.

She is dragging you down brother.

Cut the rope she is dragging you with and save your life.

 

[zack77766]

Run a search on Borderline and Histrionic Personality Disorder on this forum to find out if this is the brand of drama queen you are dealing with.

If its not the pathological breed its still crystal clear that whatever type of drama queen she is she is harming your life and not helping to advance it.

You've got an emotional dependency on her because she has made it so that she has become your entire world which is a no no in DJ land.

A woman is to be a part of your world not its sole and entire focus.

She is only contacting you now not because she cares about you but because she wants to be the one to dump you.

She is so sick she just has to win a stupid game with you to feel worth anything so she will pretend and lie and manipulate and play on your emotions to get you back with her.

She is the root of your problem and not its solution despite the strong brain chemicals in your head telling you she is the wellspring of life from which you flow.

No my friend you are the well spring of life from which you flow and you have to believe that and become self sufficient by first making a mature decision that a real man makes to cut cancerous people completely out of his life.

This girl is toxic and is dragging you down.

A good person who loves and cares for you will make you feel good, confident and secure.

Your dealings with this woman have given you panic attacks and made you profoundly sad.

Think about that quietly as you sit in your room for 5 or 10 minutes seriously sit and think about it. Argue with your brain chemical feelings using the full force of manly logic and strength and tell yourself your feelings are deceiving you because they are and that she is not your solution but your problem and only by getting her fully out of your life and going cold no contact as painful as it may be is the only path to recovery.

Its very similar to drug addicts and smokers and alcoholics that try to quit.

They know that what they are doing is bad for them but the brain chemicals push them towards their doom.

Its the same with love for destructive women though it should be noted its not true love but a sick form of dependency and I think if one is truly honest with themself repeatedly about a person's true effect on their life whenever their "feelings" for this person creep up that gradually logic will win over but you have to work at it just as any chemical addict has to work to overcome their addiction.

She is dragging you down brother.

Cut the rope she is dragging you with and save your life.

well said. I suggest if possible to leave town and get your identity changed or something where she can't find you. This girl is screwing up your social life and your life in general.

 

[WC2]

Listen man, a lot of us have BEEN there. I was there almost 2 months ago. You know you are better than her, but you have this bottomless pit in your stomach that keeps telling you that you need her back.

In REALITY, you know you just need comfort. You want comfort from someone, something and she's the one who always gave it to you. It's alright, admit it. Admitting things to yourself and feeling pain is a VITAL step in getting over your Ex's.

I have a post somewhere about my ex-GF that I'm going to link you to. Understand that she CHEATED on me after being with her for more than a year. We were on the borderline of getting engaged. It took a lot of guts, but I got rid of her and 2 months later I'm seeing a new woman. I'll post the link in a few..

 

[WC2]

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?p=1333172#post1333172

 

[DJsparky]

I apprieciate all your guys advice. I will put all this into action and move on. Thank you

 

[Last Man Standing]

This is what you get for letting a little girl lead you!!! Be a man!!!

 

[KarmaSutra]

Run a search on Borderline and Histrionic Personality Disorder on this forum to find out if this is the brand of drama queen you are dealing with.

If its not the pathological breed its still crystal clear that whatever type of drama queen she is she is harming your life and not helping to advance it.

You've got an emotional dependency on her because she has made it so that she has become your entire world which is a no no in DJ land.

A woman is to be a part of your world not its sole and entire focus.

She is only contacting you now not because she cares about you but because she wants to be the one to dump you.

She is so sick she just has to win a stupid game with you to feel worth anything so she will pretend and lie and manipulate and play on your emotions to get you back with her.

She is the root of your problem and not its solution despite the strong brain chemicals in your head telling you she is the wellspring of life from which you flow.

No my friend you are the well spring of life from which you flow and you have to believe that and become self sufficient by first making a mature decision that a real man makes to cut cancerous people completely out of his life.

This girl is toxic and is dragging you down.

A good person who loves and cares for you will make you feel good, confident and secure.

Your dealings with this woman have given you panic attacks and made you profoundly sad.

Think about that quietly as you sit in your room for 5 or 10 minutes seriously sit and think about it. Argue with your brain chemical feelings using the full force of manly logic and strength and tell yourself your feelings are deceiving you because they are and that she is not your solution but your problem and only by getting her fully out of your life and going cold no contact as painful as it may be is the only path to recovery.

Its very similar to drug addicts and smokers and alcoholics that try to quit.

They know that what they are doing is bad for them but the brain chemicals push them towards their doom.

Its the same with love for destructive women though it should be noted its not true love but a sick form of dependency and I think if one is truly honest with themself repeatedly about a person's true effect on their life whenever their "feelings" for this person creep up that gradually logic will win over but you have to work at it just as any chemical addict has to work to overcome their addiction.

She is dragging you down brother.

Cut the rope she is dragging you with and save your life.

MOTHERFVCKIN' TIZIGHT!

KontrollerX gets a 6 gun salute for this post.

Awesome doesn't even come close. If I could rep you more I would!

 

[DJsparky]

Run a search on Borderline and Histrionic Personality Disorder on this forum to find out if this is the brand of drama queen you are dealing with.

If its not the pathological breed its still crystal clear that whatever type of drama queen she is she is harming your life and not helping to advance it.

You've got an emotional dependency on her because she has made it so that she has become your entire world which is a no no in DJ land.

A woman is to be a part of your world not its sole and entire focus.

She is only contacting you now not because she cares about you but because she wants to be the one to dump you.

She is so sick she just has to win a stupid game with you to feel worth anything so she will pretend and lie and manipulate and play on your emotions to get you back with her.

She is the root of your problem and not its solution despite the strong brain chemicals in your head telling you she is the wellspring of life from which you flow.

No my friend you are the well spring of life from which you flow and you have to believe that and become self sufficient by first making a mature decision that a real man makes to cut cancerous people completely out of his life.

This girl is toxic and is dragging you down.

A good person who loves and cares for you will make you feel good, confident and secure.

Your dealings with this woman have given you panic attacks and made you profoundly sad.

Think about that quietly as you sit in your room for 5 or 10 minutes seriously sit and think about it. Argue with your brain chemical feelings using the full force of manly logic and strength and tell yourself your feelings are deceiving you because they are and that she is not your solution but your problem and only by getting her fully out of your life and going cold no contact as painful as it may be is the only path to recovery.

Its very similar to drug addicts and smokers and alcoholics that try to quit.

They know that what they are doing is bad for them but the brain chemicals push them towards their doom.

Its the same with love for destructive women though it should be noted its not true love but a sick form of dependency and I think if one is truly honest with themself repeatedly about a person's true effect on their life whenever their "feelings" for this person creep up that gradually logic will win over but you have to work at it just as any chemical addict has to work to overcome their addiction.

She is dragging you down brother.

Cut the rope she is dragging you with and save your life.

Thanks for the value. She has alot of traits in those disorders.

Here's something i don't get though. Today i got a phone call. It was from one of her homies and in britain we call them chavs. So this chav was calling me all these names under the sun, that i have been a prick and his going to kick my head in. Well i wanted to kill him and was going to beat his ass.

But is this what she wants? I'm confused dude. She turns everything around on me. To give you a better understanding of what drama queen she is, i'll post her traits:

Insecure about her looks

Fishing for questions to add to more drama

Overly reactive, doesnt matter if i dont react

Sucks you into her bad cold state

Cold and distant

Only talks about herself

Will make every conversation about herself

Doesn't make effort

Argumentive

Turns everything around



The reason she is ****ing me over is because i feel that i am to blaime. Now i haven't done anything wrong other then listening to her bull**** and putting up with it. But everytime she blaimes it all on me and its horrible.

My question is, what type of drama queen is she? is this my fault?

I had to live with this for 1.5 year and i guess as a man i feel very ****ed up. I need to find my direction as they say.

 

[KontrollerX]

Heh heh an old UKer buddy I had online already schooled me to what "chavs" are and he made it abundantly clear to me that they are hated with the firey hatred of 10,000 suns by regular UKers.

The U.S equivalent to a chav is someone like Kevin Federline or Eminem or even Britney Spears in her current state of being. :crackup:

As for what type she is if she's not violent and doesn't rage for apparently no reason by screaming at the top of her lungs at random times or openly fear you are going to abandon her and cry like a little girl or cut herself I'm inclined to say she is a Histrionic Personality Disordered girl.

The Histrionics and Borderlines are very similar and grouped into the cluster b personality disorders together which includes sociopaths and narcissists in the sterling lineup of the worst people you will ever encounter in the world.

BPD's and HPD's (for short) will turn your world upside down by at first making you think they are the sweetest person you ever met but then drive you crazy by fvcking everyone behind your back or implying they might get it on with one of their massive group of male orbiters some of whom look like they were digged up from the filthiest trailer park you can find and some of the male victims the cream of the crop.

The sickness doesn't make them descriminate much in their male targets though if you have money and status you are much more likely a candidate to be their main boyfriend for a while who they stay with the longest but bring the most pain to thanks to all their cheating and lying to you. They like guys with money or some form of status because their life blood is attention and by having a guy like this be involved with them the spotlight gets on them more.

They like their sociopath cousins have a callous disregard for other people's emotions due to them being basically a wounded little girl or child in many ways in a grown woman's body thanks to their maturity development being haulted around the age of two thanks to not making an empathy connection with their mother who likely ignored them in some awful way while they were infants. The mother's smile and touch is incredibly important to a young child to teach them empathy and other normal human traits and because this was all lacking in the borderline or histrionics life their sense of empathy and normal human traits are either completely lacking or severely broken so you will get a twisted form of interaction out of them ie what you expect from a normal caring girl to a certain situation when she is called out for wrongdoing will be instead of remorse outright defiance or disregard for the damage she has done you or others. That or you will get the appearance of remorse but it is only the deceptive act of paying lip service to calm you down and regain your trust so she can betray you again for her own sick purposes.

So no you were not in the wrong with your relationship with this creature.

They are well known as "crazymakers" ie the longer you are with one the crazier you are made to feel because all of your logical conclusions are discounted and the girl puts on such a chameleon perfection act to the public you both interact with it can be construed that if there are problems in the relationship you are the problem and not her and with society siding with her that makes you feel even more crazy but you are not crazy at all. She is just working her manipulative magic on others in different ways than you thats all.

These types of people are said to be so naturally good at manipulation and deceit they have been known to disrupt entire social systems turning friend against friend and that includes both the male and females they interact with.

Their need for drama and distraction is so great that they turn people against eachother and make people they are supposed to love angry at them and eachother so they get to bask in all the conflict and drama since this is the only thing that makes them feel good and alive in life and also keeps them away from introspection and thinking about their life which could actually change them a bit for the better. True introspection for these people is so very painful because when they do this they see how rotten they have been but sadly because of the nature of the disorder they are often powerless to stop it because the disorder is so addictive and easy for them to keep going along with.

Anyway I could go on all day about them I know so much but the other things you have said also fit like the being cold and distant.

At first they seem so warm loving and kind but then when you get closer to them they pull away because they are inherintely afraid of true love because when they needed it the most as two year old children their mothers acted cold and distant towards them either actively or through incredible neglect.

They don't have a true sense of themselves and their real personality growing up because of all the damage their mothers have done to them so they take on the personality for a time of those they get involved with and basically mirror your best qualities back at you which makes you think you've found the ever elusive soul mate because the girl just feels so incredibly perfect to you.

Also they are inherintely selfish which goes along with what you said about things "being all about her", overly concerned with her looks and fishes for compliments or comments that can allow her to start an argument with you or someone else again to reignite all that tasty drama that she needs.

Yeah I think this one is an HPD for sure unless you reveal she has violent tendencies and is prone to self injure.

Does she also cake her face with makeup constantly and dress in sexually provocative outfits almost all the time?

 

[Last Man Standing]

Is she putting you in a head lock and forcing you to follow her?? It is you who has the problem not her!!!

KontrollerX - replace "borderline personality disorder" with "hor" and you'll be right. Quit justifying hor thinking and behavior by given it a medical term!! This hor disorder wasn't around 40 years ago!!!!!!!!!!