So I am very disturbed this morning, I knew my subconscious was doing bad **** to me but I didn't understand how badly it was. You see I have an ex-girlfriend that i almost got engaged to and lived with for 3 years and dated long distance for 1.5 years for a total of 4.5 years together.
When she was in my life she was one of the best things to happen for me along with graduating college, as far as accomplishments that have "stuck" in my life. When we broke up it was sudden, and it was ugly and drawn out. She shattered my confidence in a lot of ways that would be any aspiring PUA's nightmare. She confirmed many of my insecurities. Maybe she was just upsett that I was living with another girl, but she was very uncool about the whole thing and basically made me feel like a total joke to her.
Anyways guys this was 3 years ago and in fact it may have been 3 years ago to this day but I cant remember, just remember it was the end of may into June that it happened. So this morning I wake up to a nightmare, I am disorientated. I don't know where she is and I feel loss. Then slowly as my brain starts kicking in I realize that I don't have a girlfriend, and that she is no longer my girlfriend. When my memory came back I realized that I had been dreaming of us together all night, I think it was alternating between me and her together and me and her BACK together trying again with the new me, the PUA me.
Now this is extremely disturbing to me. I haven't got to a level of success that I want yet, havent had a girl that has meant even close to what she meant to me since her, and have had a long troubled world in being effective out in the dating world because I keep getting in my own way. I left the city about a year and a half ago and except for a summer trip last year really have not been very happy or effective in this small town. I am TRYING to gear up and get some steady and consistant exposure to a bunch of women this summer and hopefully end up with a consistant girl at some point but my lifestyle and life at this point isn't exactly something I look forward to bringing someone into. The fact I woke up traumatized by this dream really worries me, this is CRAZY STUFF, what should I do? Should I see a shrink or what?
When she was in my life she was one of the best things to happen for me along with graduating college, as far as accomplishments that have "stuck" in my life. When we broke up it was sudden, and it was ugly and drawn out. She shattered my confidence in a lot of ways that would be any aspiring PUA's nightmare. She confirmed many of my insecurities. Maybe she was just upsett that I was living with another girl, but she was very uncool about the whole thing and basically made me feel like a total joke to her.
Anyways guys this was 3 years ago and in fact it may have been 3 years ago to this day but I cant remember, just remember it was the end of may into June that it happened. So this morning I wake up to a nightmare, I am disorientated. I don't know where she is and I feel loss. Then slowly as my brain starts kicking in I realize that I don't have a girlfriend, and that she is no longer my girlfriend. When my memory came back I realized that I had been dreaming of us together all night, I think it was alternating between me and her together and me and her BACK together trying again with the new me, the PUA me.
Now this is extremely disturbing to me. I haven't got to a level of success that I want yet, havent had a girl that has meant even close to what she meant to me since her, and have had a long troubled world in being effective out in the dating world because I keep getting in my own way. I left the city about a year and a half ago and except for a summer trip last year really have not been very happy or effective in this small town. I am TRYING to gear up and get some steady and consistant exposure to a bunch of women this summer and hopefully end up with a consistant girl at some point but my lifestyle and life at this point isn't exactly something I look forward to bringing someone into. The fact I woke up traumatized by this dream really worries me, this is CRAZY STUFF, what should I do? Should I see a shrink or what?
