My best friend is flirting with my girlfriend and she subtly reciprocates

[vato]

I agree that one needs time to heal. I had sex with 2 girls after my ex and I honestly felt really bad spending time with them.
Having sex was ok but what made me feel bad was going out with them and just spending time. I felt so fcking bad and disgusted I can’t describe it.
Being alone is better for me.
right now there is a girl that wants to spend time with me but I can’t even text her back.
All I can do is Setting up dates once every 1-2 weeks and bang her.

If you had an attachment with a girl it’s not easy like some people here say. „ go out and bang hotter“ probably works when you just got dumped by some girl you knew for some weeks/months or it was just superficial af.

we should take our time. That’s not a damn competition about who has more sex than the ex. Detaching means not caring anymore.

Yeah, same for me. I had sex with a bunch of girl when I broke up with my ex and it felt good while f*cking them but it felt wrong before and after. I need time to heal. I'll go out tonight and approach girls, get numbers but I won't try to close

 

[soulforge]

I was really good at setting the boundaries with her during the first year but somewhere down the line when she started to argue about stuff and I stopped setting boundaries the same way because of my fear of losing her. Now I understand though, never lose the frame and always set boundaries even it means losing her

OP no joke.. I will dump a girl who won't agree and accept my boundaries.. Any serious challenging behaviou, I will give her a little benefit of a doubt, if it continues.. I simply walk away. She will either come back, or we will both move the Fvk on, which saves me years of drama and headaches down the line, including the possibility of her cheating.

Never be afraid to walk away, If that bich is getting out of pocket.

Don't feel too down about it bro, that girl likely had intentions to cheat down the line, look at it, as a good thing that you broke up now, than got cheated on down the line.

You will get over it in time, and never take her back if she tries to worm her way back in.

Stay NC, we will support you here on SS

 

[Lauel]

You can't punch loyalty into a person. They are either loyal or they are not.

That hits hard. Thanks.

 

[EyeBRollin]

I only got through the OP and my goodness that is such disrespect. Man should never allow that level of disrespect from his woman. And that guy is no friend. Don’t ever allow people to neg you, let alone in public and in front of your woman.

If someone publicly negged me, my wife would check me on why I’m allowing the disrespect. Respect is everything.

 

[vato]

I only got through the OP and my goodness that is such disrespect. Man should never allow that level of disrespect from his woman. And that guy is no friend. Don’t ever allow people to neg you, let alone in public and in front of your woman.

If someone publicly negged me, my wife would check me on why I’m allowing the disrespect. Respect is everything.

Yeah, I confronted her about the flirting she said apologized and had a get over it attitude. I was cold for a week because I was still angry about the "tight" comment. But she broke up with me 1 week later saying I take her for granted and she doesn't feel appreciated. If that was the case then she would've broken up with me before I confronted her. There was something else going on that I don't know about..

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

If someone publicly negged me, my wife would check me on why I’m allowing the disrespect. Respect is everything.

If someone publicly insults me, my kittens know that behind my calm expression bloodlust lurks and they are always glad for my restraint.

 

[Dr.Suave]

Yeah, I confronted her about the flirting she said apologized and had a get over it attitude. I was cold for a week because I was still angry about the "tight" comment. But she broke up with me 1 week later saying I take her for granted and she doesn't feel appreciated. If that was the case then she would've broken up with me before I confronted her. There was something else going on that I don't know about..

My guess, she was getting mentally ready to f0ck (and/or monkeybranch to) your friend. Might as well break up with you before to feel less guilt and not be technically cheating.

It was a harsh experience but In the end you are all better for cutting not one but a few toxic people out of your life. You will learn a lot from this and become better at vetting/screening.

 

[vato]

My guess, she was getting mentally ready to f0ck (and/or monkeybranch to) your friend. Might as well break up with you before to feel less guilt and not be technically cheating.

It was a harsh experience but In the end you are all better for cutting not one but a few toxic people out of your life. You will learn a lot from this and become better at vetting/screening.

Yeah or monkeybranch to somebody else I don't know about. My friend has two newborns and a GF so the probability is lower there.

 

[vato]

A little update. Doing better. Was out last weekend at a bar and saw her sister, said hi and kept it moving. I knew her sister was watching me at the bar so I scanned for the best lookin chick and approached her and exchanged insta. I know it's petty but it gave me satisfaction because I know she will tell my ex what she saw.

Guess who contacted me the next day? She wanted to see me and work things out. I told her "nope we're done, you crossed the boundary of no return" and that I would never have a child with someone who has flirted with my friend (she was always pushing for marriage).

Moral of the story, no contact and working on yourself works.

 

[Divorced w 3]

A little update. Doing better. Was out last weekend at a bar and saw her sister, said hi and kept it moving. I knew her sister was watching me at the bar so I scanned for the best lookin chick and approached her and exchanged insta. I know it's petty but it gave me satisfaction because I know she will tell my ex what she saw.

Guess who contacted me the next day? She wanted to see me and work things out. I told her "nope we're done, you crossed the boundary of no return" and that I would never have a child with someone who has flirted with my friend (she was always pushing for marriage).

Moral of the story, no contact and working on yourself works.

Does it though? You’re doing and saying things that are in response to her. If you didn’t care you wouldn’t have written her back with such a pithy line and tried to show her up in front of her sister. You literally manufactured the situation so that she would contact you. Don’t bull**** a bull****ter.

 

[CornbreadFed]

Does it though? You’re doing and saying things that are in response to her. If you didn’t care you wouldn’t have written her back with such a pithy line and tried to show her up in front of her sister. You literally manufactured the situation so that she would contact you. Don’t bull**** a bull****ter.

he probably begged her to come back in reality lol

 

[vato]

Does it though? You’re doing and saying things that are in response to her. If you didn’t care you wouldn’t have written her back with such a pithy line and tried to show her up in front of her sister. You literally manufactured the situation so that she would contact you. Don’t bull**** a bull****ter.

I never claimed that I didn't care. It's obvious that I care and I'm not over her 100%. I'm doing better than I was a couple months ago. If you read through the thread then you'll know I have enough leverage to tell her to f*** off.

 

[soulforge]

Bro let me say weldone to you.

Ignore the jokers who are pointing out the obvious, that you still care.. Obviously to some degree you still care, which makes you a man of strength who was able to tell her to get lost, even though you still have some feelings for her.

This is a sign of strength & not weakness.

Weakness would have been allowing her back into your life, which you didn't.

Healing from a break up is different for everyone. Some dudes can get over a girl in a matter of weeks, other dudes it might take a little longer, depending on the chemistry and attachment you had with said girl.

Your on the right path. From what I remember it's a relatively recent break up.

Don't let the chest beating on here, throw you off your path of healing and moving on.

 

[JoyDivision1990]

Was out last weekend at a bar and saw her sister, said hi and kept it moving. I knew her sister was watching me at the bar so I scanned for the best lookin chick and approached her and exchanged insta.

So what's happening with the IG girl? What's that saying "the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else"?

I never used to believe that, now I do. To some degree anyway.

It's also important to spend some time alone, introspecting, reflecting, owning our role and learning from mistakes. We ALL make them.

You can do both!
.

 

[Dr.Suave]

What's that saying "the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else"?

I never used to believe that, now I do.

Yeah, I bet.

 

[vato]

Bro let me say weldone to you.

Ignore the jokers who are pointing out the obvious, that you still care.. Obviously to some degree you still care, which makes you a man of strength who was able to tell her to get lost, even though you still have some feelings for her.

This is a sign of strength & not weakness.

Weakness would have been allowing her back into your life, which you didn't.

Healing from a break up is different for everyone. Some dudes can get over a girl in a matter of weeks, other dudes it might take a little longer, depending on the chemistry and attachment you had with said girl.

Your on the right path. From what I remember it's a relatively recent break up.

Don't let the chest beating on here, throw you off your path of healing and moving on.

Yeah man, it was difficult the first month but it got easier as the days went by. I just remind myself and if I miss her I just read through the thread to remind myself the disrespect I had to go through.

 

[vato]

So what's happening with the IG girl? What's that saying "the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else"?

I never used to believe that, now I do. To some degree anyway.

It's also important to spend some time alone, introspecting, reflecting, owning our role and learning from mistakes. We ALL make them.

You can do both!
.

I have a date planned with her on Sunday.

I've done a lot of introspecting and reflecting while at the same time approaching as much as I can to keep a balance.

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

Your a fool because your approaching this sequentially as if her doing this is the problem, no, because she undoubtedly did many things before this point that would of been worthy of rebuff and she knew it, yet she continued to escalate her behaviour, probing you further until rebuff.

When you have somebody who is constantly probing your boundaries, you essentially have an enemy to contend with, but due to the nature of women, that being they ALL do this, the blame inherently shifts to us and so we must set and enforce the boundaries, we enforce by exercising another option and ghosting

 

[vato]

Update:

She broke no contact.

I've been doing a lot better lately. (She still comes to mind, just in case someone comments: "u sTiLL cAre aBouT heR!!!!").

Went out with friends this Saturday to my usual spot. It's a bar she never wanted me to go to during our relationship because it's always packed with stunners. Anyways, I was having fun, laughing, dancing and socializing with random people.

The day before, I had approached an Albanian hottie and texted her to come this place.

In my drunk state I saw my ex's face in the crowd and saw her eyeballing me across the bar. I turned my back, went to my friends, grabbed a drink and just chilled until the Albanian chick showed up.

When Albanian showed up I sat with her, talked, bought drinks and homerun. Closed the deal.

3 am I get this text from my ex:

"I hate you, I hate you more than words can explain. The only time I go out, you're there right in front of me. I hate you, I wish I never met you, I regret every single thing I did for you. You don't even deserve this text. You knew this would break me. You knew it, that's why you did it in front of me. You don't deserve and have never deserved someone like me. So ****ing disrespectful. I've thought about you every day, I've missed you every day, I've wanted to text you, call you EVERY DAMN DAY. But you??? No, you're the wh*re I knew you were but didn't want to believe you were. But thanks for this. This was EXACTLY what I needed to actually get over you."

I didn't reply to this text. And on Sunday she sent me another text:

"I would never do this to you. You were standing in front of me, messing around with that girl??? Do I deserve no respect at all? I would NEVER do this to you. N E V E R. I've tried to get over you but I can't, but you? You're out every weekend and yesterday you behaved like that. I've been sitting at home every weekend, everyone's been out but I've been at home, I've been depressed. WHY AREN'T YOU HURTING? WHY WAS THIS SO EASY FOR YOU? WHY? WHY ARE YOU FEELING GOOD? WHY ARE YOU HAPPY? YOU SAT THERE AND HELD HER IN YOUR ARMS RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY EYES. WHY DID YOU LEAVE WITH YOUR ARMS AROUND HER? I HATE YOU!!!!"

I replied with "my intention wasn't to hurt you" and this is a fact.

She kept texting, saying things like "you were the one I was supposed to marry", "you were the one I was supposed to have my children with".

Then she blocked me.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

I replied with "my intention wasn't to hurt you" and this is a fact.

You should've kept that to yourself. If she doesn't know you didn't intend to hurt her, your text is not going to change her mind. Just leave her texts on 'read'.