Sup gents?
I'm spinning four or five plates at the moment actually, but this is about two in particular. Let's call one Jade and one Emily. Let it be known that I haven't lied to any of these girls and told them that we're exclusive, however none of them have asked if I was seeing anyone else
(the other plates have and they're okay with it).
Jade is what you'd call cute. I met her at a party I DJed at, we have texted every day for like a month and there's been some cute messages strewn in there. I made the decision a week or two ago though that I couldn't date her exclusively, she may be 18 but a girl with no drive or ambition who has drank 7 days in a row is very offputting to me. She's still cute and fun, but I could not ever be in something serious with her.
Emily is what I'd call hot. I met her at a university party and got her number within two minutes. We have been on a few dates and they've gone very well. She's exiting (or still in? It's hard to say but whatever it is is either over or finishing up) a long term relationship with another guy and doesn't want things to go too fast with us, which I understand. I do like her though, but I didn't want to put all my eggs in one basket when complications still exist (namely, the other guy she was/is seeing) and lose a perfectly good plate.
Here's the awkward thing, through sheer oversight on my part they are both invited to my 21st. My original thought was that Jade would have to deal with me hooking up with Emily there and just put up with it, but in the last few days - and especially tonight while tipsy, she's been saying how she gets butterflies thinking of me and how she really wants to see me and just kiss and hold me. She even said she really liked me, and almost used the word love. That stuff freaks me out, not exactly someone I can just say "sorry babe I'm seeing someone" to without having to have a major freak out on our hands.
On the other hand, I'd be upset if I hooked up with Jade at the party and Emily (who's a little insecure already) witnessed it. That would definitely not go down well, and to be honest losing Emily would upset me more then losing Jade.
It's tough because the complications with Emily prevent me from wanting to go "all in" with her. I could tell Jade I just want to be friends days before the party, deal with a major freak out then and focus on Emily (with the other plates in the background not interfering, until such a point where as I became exclusive with Emily if it were to progress that far). Having said that, Emily might not be a sure thing, and Jade is a perfectly good plate to spin. It'd suck to throw her away on a chance that might not pay off.
Uninviting Jade is the other solution, that'd send an even worse statement then the above actions though I think.
Basically, I'm wondering if there was any way I could keep both girls without upsetting or hurting any of them? My guess is no, but there are DJs on this forum who are far more adept at juggling plates then me, so it's worth asking your advice. I could just be a man and say to Jade "I need you to know that because we're not actually dating, I'm still seeing other girls. I hope you understand". I probably should have said that in the first place tbh like I did with some of the other plates heh.
Enough from me now, if anyone could give me tips, thoughts or advice on how to deal with this (while preferably keeping both plates spinning and happy) I'd greatly appreciate it to the moon and back :cheer:
I'm spinning four or five plates at the moment actually, but this is about two in particular. Let's call one Jade and one Emily. Let it be known that I haven't lied to any of these girls and told them that we're exclusive, however none of them have asked if I was seeing anyone else
(the other plates have and they're okay with it).Jade is what you'd call cute. I met her at a party I DJed at, we have texted every day for like a month and there's been some cute messages strewn in there. I made the decision a week or two ago though that I couldn't date her exclusively, she may be 18 but a girl with no drive or ambition who has drank 7 days in a row is very offputting to me. She's still cute and fun, but I could not ever be in something serious with her.
Emily is what I'd call hot. I met her at a university party and got her number within two minutes. We have been on a few dates and they've gone very well. She's exiting (or still in? It's hard to say but whatever it is is either over or finishing up) a long term relationship with another guy and doesn't want things to go too fast with us, which I understand. I do like her though, but I didn't want to put all my eggs in one basket when complications still exist (namely, the other guy she was/is seeing) and lose a perfectly good plate.
Here's the awkward thing, through sheer oversight on my part they are both invited to my 21st. My original thought was that Jade would have to deal with me hooking up with Emily there and just put up with it, but in the last few days - and especially tonight while tipsy, she's been saying how she gets butterflies thinking of me and how she really wants to see me and just kiss and hold me. She even said she really liked me, and almost used the word love. That stuff freaks me out, not exactly someone I can just say "sorry babe I'm seeing someone" to without having to have a major freak out on our hands.
On the other hand, I'd be upset if I hooked up with Jade at the party and Emily (who's a little insecure already) witnessed it. That would definitely not go down well, and to be honest losing Emily would upset me more then losing Jade.
It's tough because the complications with Emily prevent me from wanting to go "all in" with her. I could tell Jade I just want to be friends days before the party, deal with a major freak out then and focus on Emily (with the other plates in the background not interfering, until such a point where as I became exclusive with Emily if it were to progress that far). Having said that, Emily might not be a sure thing, and Jade is a perfectly good plate to spin. It'd suck to throw her away on a chance that might not pay off.
Uninviting Jade is the other solution, that'd send an even worse statement then the above actions though I think.
Basically, I'm wondering if there was any way I could keep both girls without upsetting or hurting any of them? My guess is no, but there are DJs on this forum who are far more adept at juggling plates then me, so it's worth asking your advice. I could just be a man and say to Jade "I need you to know that because we're not actually dating, I'm still seeing other girls. I hope you understand". I probably should have said that in the first place tbh like I did with some of the other plates heh.
Enough from me now, if anyone could give me tips, thoughts or advice on how to deal with this (while preferably keeping both plates spinning and happy) I'd greatly appreciate it to the moon and back :cheer:
