Moment of Weakness

[SoylentGreen]

Hey guys,

I am trying to overcome a ton of hurdles in regards to picking up. I really need some advice to turn these negatives into positives. I am enduring a huge moment of weakness. Like for the whole past month.

Here are my stumbling blocks:

1.)There just aren't enough places where I live to meet girls. I have the beach ( I can't swim) the one danceclub ( I don't dance and I hate the music) and one sports bar ( I hate sports). I also have grocery stores, libraries and the like, but I don't often have a reason to go to these places if I'm not shopping. And should a 33 year old really still be approaching girls in stores and malls? Last phone number I got was from a 19 year old. Turns out her dad is 35 and I actually know him from high school. Awkward.

2.) When I go to places and approach women they often STILL don't give me their numbers despite me having done a number of things recommended on this site such as workout, watching my body language, quitting smoking and dressing better while at the same time working on my speech and my topics of conversation.

3.) Alot of the girls my age are either single moms or have issues. They don't go out as much as the younger ones either. The ones younger than me (specifically 25 and under) seem to have sh!tty personalities. Y-generation girls are kind of self-centered, arrogant (even the ugly ones) and immature and I can't NOT tell them off when they are being self-righteous. The only problem with that is that in my town, everyone knows everyone and so once I tell one b!tch off they all hear about it.

4.)I'm like a woman-repellant it seems. Everyone tells me to stop going after "hot girls". It's like they are trying to tell me the hot ones are out of my league. My own sister tells me to go for fat girls or less attractive girls because they would be easier for me..."at least then you'd have a chance" she says. My brother said the same thing, basically that I am setting myself up for disappointment. Often, I find that he is right.

5.) I'm a "rock" guy mostly. I hate rap, I hate the whole "cookie-cutter" crowd: people wearing the token Abercrombie and Fitch, American Eagle clothes or Polo shirts, drinking lite beers and listening to the typical "radio rock" and basically all trying to clone each other....I don't like this crowd. They don't like me. Never have. Alot of the advice I have read in terms of dating is to become part of this whole crowd in order to gain women. I hate these people, in Canada they are referred to as Jocks or Preps and THEY are the ones who get girls. Simply by becoming like everyone else around them...

...So as you can see I need some genuine advice. Maybe I am just overthinking everything.

Its weird though because in March and April, I let my friends dress me up in American Eagle clothes, hat sideways and all, and I went out to a bunch of clubs and I was able to score a few numbers. This month and last, when I went back to my normal clothes and went out, its been pure rejections. Do I really have to conform in order to pick up quality women? Or should I just be myself and stick to the fat ones because they are easier? I suck at this dj game.

When I was being fake I posted on how succesful I was doing but now that I am back to who I really am I am not getting anywhere...

 

[Luthor Rex]

people wearing the token Abercrombie and Fitch, American Eagle clothes or Polo shirts, drinking lite beers

I don't know how anyone can drink a lite beer, the taste is absolutely disgusting. The "litest" beer I'll drink is Yuengling (it's a local PA beer), but for the most part I find the darker beers to have the best taste. Guinness for the win!

 

[SoylentGreen]

Don S --> I know what you are thinking, but I am not repulsive or anything...here is a link to my pic on hotornot:

http://www.hotornot.com/m/r/?emid=EMB8HSE

I am about 5'5" and 130lbs so maybe its my size that girls aren't into...

 

[Zonder]

wear the uniform or GTFO

Don S --> I know what you are thinking, but I am not repulsive or anything...here is a link to my pic on hotornot:

http://www.hotornot.com/m/r/?emid=EMB8HSE

I am about 5'5" and 130lbs so maybe its my size that girls aren't into...

Your size could be part of it. Most girls are superficial.

When you posted a pic I expected to see a typical loser who wouldn't know how to say "hi" to a stranger, let alone get laid with a hottie. I'm surprised to see you look as if you are well-adjusted socially and have decent game. And yes, some people can tell just by the way you look. Oh, and that smile doesn't really work for you out of context.

My guess would be that your usual style doesn't work with most girls and you will have to conform to what cookie-cutter people consider attractive. You already know you get more numbers with the clothes your friends chose for you. If your clothes creep "cookie-cutter" girls out you can't expect to score with them. If you want average girls you should wear clothes average girls consider hot. Wearing clothes that make you attractive to women hardly the great moral compromise. I can't believe I've encountered a person who prefers his "rock" clothes to having any relationship with a woman.

Business people wear suits. I don't know anyone who finds suits more comfortable than casual clothes but everyone is happy to wear them because it is part of the environment they are in. Without the suits they wouldn't have their businesses/jobs. Without good clothes you wouldn't get laid. You have the same option any politician or businessman has - wear the uniform or get out.

 

[Warrior74]

Hey guys,

I am trying to overcome a ton of hurdles in regards to picking up. I really need some advice to turn these negatives into positives. I am enduring a huge moment of weakness. Like for the whole past month.

Here are my stumbling blocks:

1.)There just aren't enough places where I live to meet girls. I have the beach ( I can't swim) the one danceclub ( I don't dance and I hate the music) and one sports bar ( I hate sports). I also have grocery stores, libraries and the like, but I don't often have a reason to go to these places if I'm not shopping. And should a 33 year old really still be approaching girls in stores and malls? Last phone number I got was from a 19 year old. Turns out her dad is 35 and I actually know him from high school. Awkward

Dude, the beach? You have to be kidding me. Learn to swim. It will give you a hobby to fill your time so you can stop overthinking. Learn to dance. Step outside your comfortzone. I hate sports myself, I like the spirit of competition though, so I can watch a game with the boys...get over it, you are where you are so you have to make the best of where your at. Or move. Find a hot girl and get her to teach you to dance or swim. Check out dance videos on youtube and learn how to dance.

A 33 year old should be approaching women where ever they are if they are choosing you. You have no limits on what you should and shouldn't be doing.

2.) When I go to places and approach women they often STILL don't give me their numbers despite me having done a number of things recommended on this site such as workout, watching my body language, quitting smoking and dressing better while at the same time working on my speech and my topics of conversation.

You might want to start analyzing what you actually say to them and what type of woman they are. YOu have to tailor your conversation to the person your speaking to, it's a lie that you can speak to everyone the same. I don't talk in a conference meeting the same way I do in a hiphop club, but I still believe the same things and make the same points. Get me?

3.) Alot of the girls my age are either single moms or have issues. They don't go out as much as the younger ones either. The ones younger than me (specifically 25 and under) seem to have sh!tty personalities. Y-generation girls are kind of self-centered, arrogant (even the ugly ones) and immature and I can't NOT tell them off when they are being self-righteous. The only problem with that is that in my town, everyone knows everyone and so once I tell one b!tch off they all hear about it.

I feel you on the single mom thing. I "date" two single moms. They know I'm not going to marry them, but I treat them great, great convo, great sex, fun times. They enjoy themselves with me, but they know from the beginning that I'm not going to commit. I also have a hard time with the under 25 crowd. They think they know everything and its a major turn off. But I realise that for most its just insecurity speaking. They are like the loud guy who gets his ass kicked in a fight, your like the quiet master who knows exactly what to do. Learn to control your mouthpeice, its your worst enemy in this game.

4.)I'm like a woman-repellant it seems. Everyone tells me to stop going after "hot girls". It's like they are trying to tell me the hot ones are out of my league. My own sister tells me to go for fat girls or less attractive girls because they would be easier for me..."at least then you'd have a chance" she says. My brother said the same thing, basically that I am setting myself up for disappointment. Often, I find that he is right.

Stop talking to "everyone" about women. Again control your mouthpeice. How are you talking about women? Complaining? That means you don't think you can get hot girls, they pick up on that and feed you back your belief by telling you what to go for. Basically you come off as low self esteem so they point you in the direction of low self esteem women. See how that works? Let your love life be a mystery to everyone. Take your lumps in private. As for your bro being right...whatever man, kobe doesn't hit every shot, doesn't mean he stops playing ball. (sorry bout the sports reference, but you get me).

5.) I'm a "rock" guy mostly. I hate rap, I hate the whole "cookie-cutter" crowd: people wearing the token Abercrombie and Fitch, American Eagle clothes or Polo shirts, drinking lite beers and listening to the typical "radio rock" and basically all trying to clone each other....I don't like this crowd. They don't like me. Never have. Alot of the advice I have read in terms of dating is to become part of this whole crowd in order to gain women. I hate these people, in Canada they are referred to as Jocks or Preps and THEY are the ones who get girls. Simply by becoming like everyone else around them...

You sound like my buddy. He loves house music and everyone here thinks house is for gays. He hates mainstream dress and clubs. And he's so sexually frustrated we are afraid he's gonna be a rapist one day. Look snowflake, nobody cares about a unique little snowflake. Sorry. Tough. I used to be a raver, when I was a raver the only chics I got were raver girls. When I dressed like a normal I met my ex wife, I slowly introduced her to my raver lifestyle, I just didn't show up looking like a freak one day. If your a rocker, pull rock chics, otherwise switch your style up. You can't look like a construction worker and claim to be a cop, nobody will believe you. A player has a uniform just like any other job. Get a player's uniform to be a player. Or hunt in your scene only.

...So as you can see I need some genuine advice. Maybe I am just overthinking everything.

Yah. Overthinking.

Its weird though because in March and April, I let my friends dress me up in American Eagle clothes, hat sideways and all, and I went out to a bunch of clubs and I was able to score a few numbers. This month and last, when I went back to my normal clothes and went out, its been pure rejections. Do I really have to conform in order to pick up quality women? Or should I just be myself and stick to the fat ones because they are easier? I suck at this dj game.

When I was being fake I posted on how succesful I was doing but now that I am back to who I really am I am not getting anywhere...

What do you call it when you know the truth, and yet you don't want to accept it? Hiphop is big here, and that's where the hot girls are. I buy one or two outfits to go out to those clubs, just like I buy work clothes and gym clothes. The clothes don't change who you are. You can put a product in a different box and get more sales if it's better packaging and placement, doesn't change the product at all. This is what you are doing. You are packaging and placing the great product that is you somewhere where you can get the best sales.

Do you want fat girls? Do you like fvcking fat girls? Of course you don't. Do you think you deserve better? Obviously you do, because your here. Like you said, a moment of weakness...harden up man, you can do it.

I looked at your pics, and your not a bad looking dude. That smile sorta smuckish. I'd like to see you bring some pureness..., anger, passion, joy. Not some half ass in between blah smile. That is what works you dig? Showing pure emotion...try that in real life.

Good luck man.

 

[SoylentGreen]

Thanks guys.

Luthor Rex...thanks for letting me know what kind of beer you drink...

DonS...thanks for the compliment. I am currently working on everything from the neck down at the moment. I am working out to gain weight and increase my size and although I haven't bought any clothes recently, I have been eyeing out some possible outfits to compliment my style...

Zonder....thanks for the tips, what do you mean the smile doesn't work out of context? Can you clarify? Also, I see what you are saying in regards to looking at my attire as relevant to my goal. I like rock chicks but there are honestly not that many around. There are TONS more dance/prep/jock type girls that are hot, than there are rock chicks and I honestly check out the "Abercrombie type girls" when I see them on the streets and whatnot; I guess I should try to dress in a manner that would appeal to these girls but maybe with a little calibration in order to still turn the heads of the few rock girls I might see in a day.

Warrior74....you are awesome. You basically smacked me in the face and yelled "wake up!!" Like Zonder, you state that being a player has a sort of uniform and I guess I see the point. I am going to try to dress in a way thats attractive to ALL women. It will be hard but I'll figure it out. You also commented on my smile. Smuckish? Really? I often wonder if I look "too nice" simply due to my smile. I smile alot, and now you two have me wondering what others might see in it.
I respect your comments about WHAT to talk about with certain people. I remember in one of the Ocean's Eleven movies Brad Pitt tells Matt Damon something along the lines of don't use seven words when four words would be sufficient or something. I have to try this, I tend to babble and sometimes it probably ruins my chances.
You hit home when you said "What do you call it when you know the truth, and yet you don't want to accept it?" -- good point. I know that if I put on American Eagle clothes, hat tilted a bit etc that literally DOZENS more girls will be interested in me. Its just awkward for me to dress like this especially in front of my rock friends who will think I am "selling out". But then again, if I can still play my crazy heavy metal on guitar I don't think it matters how I dress. And like I said earlier I can maybe calibrate it in order to appeal to both worlds.
Its strange the differences in social groups; alot of my friends are rockers and hate dance clubs but the girls I lust after are NOT rockers and DO go to dance clubs. I guess I will have to "go where the girls are" cause I can't fvck my rocker friends can I? And rock girls are harder to come by in this day and age of hip-hop and dance music anyway...Honestly I would rather have NO friends and dozens of fvck buddies than have tons of rocker friends and masturbate everynight. And yeah the packaging doesn't change the contents so I am still me.
About the swimming lessons, you are right about that too, I should definitely learn this year. I actually work where there are three pools so I can likely get one of the hot lifeguards to teach me.

You guys have given me alot to think about, I appreciate it. Back to the drawing board I go...

 

[PeeGee]

I remember you starting a Barrie wingman thread. Are you still in Barrie?

Hit up more places. If you are thinking about going to the gym, consider using Georgian's facilities, not because it's better but because college aged girls are there, and there's always fresh meat to sarge. Fitzy's is a total meat market; not sure what you are looking for but if it's a quick lay there's no better place.

Girls around our age almost always have some issue, I find. The ones that have it together either are taken or are career/education focused. I used to hit on women my own age until I realized that the constant flakes wasn't a problem caused by me but that we were not at the same stage in life. I want a girl who has free time to do things, and they have no free time to do anything, and if they do, a new guy is going to get in the way of that. I don't exist to impress girls (jump through their hoops to make them feel good) -- they are supposed to impress me. 19-24 is the way to go.

You're 5'5 and 130? I'm 5'6 and 145. Start working out and eating right. In a few years you'll be huge. There's no quick fix when it comes to that, but the sooner you start the better.

 

[SoylentGreen]

I remember you starting a Barrie wingman thread. Are you still in Barrie?

Hit up more places. If you are thinking about going to the gym, consider using Georgian's facilities, not because it's better but because college aged girls are there, and there's always fresh meat to sarge. Fitzy's is a total meat market; not sure what you are looking for but if it's a quick lay there's no better place.

Girls around our age almost always have some issue, I find. The ones that have it together either are taken or are career/education focused. I used to hit on women my own age until I realized that the constant flakes wasn't a problem caused by me but that we were not at the same stage in life. I want a girl who has free time to do things, and they have no free time to do anything, and if they do, a new guy is going to get in the way of that. I don't exist to impress girls (jump through their hoops to make them feel good) -- they are supposed to impress me. 19-24 is the way to go.

You're 5'5 and 130? I'm 5'6 and 145. Start working out and eating right. In a few years you'll be huge. There's no quick fix when it comes to that, but the sooner you start the better.

Yeah I'm still "around" Barrie, I live right by it. I have never been to Fitzys. I usually check out the Roxx or Random Ranch, but have no one cool to go with really, except one dude who is great with chicks, but is also a criminal or always up to something that will get him arrested. Or my brother, who just buys girls drinks all night making us both look like chumps. I don't like hanging with with either of them but they are a necessary evil at this point. I was able to get some phone numbers from the Roxx, but they haven't really led anywhere yet. I also find the music WAAY too loud there to have a good conversation with someone, I can talk a pretty good game but I can't do it when I have to yell. Thanks for the tip about weight gain, actually I have started working out and eating better already. I'm 131 lbs as of today. I was 122 lbs on April 15 so I'm getting there.

Would love to hit up Fitzys with you one day and learn what I can from you and possibly help you out as a wingman....

Oh and thanks for the tip about the gym at Georgian, I have never thought of this, what a great place to meet hotties, I didn't know the general public could join...