Mistake to have ex as fb?

[Neon Owl]

Split up with my gf nearly 3 months ago now and so far have seen her twice and stayed at hers both times. I thought I could handle this situation as atm I'm not getting sex from any other girl so I thought it's better than nothing while I find someone else...problem is I'm finding it hard to let go of her emotionally.
I'm thinking of telling her next time I see her that I can't do this anymore...knowing that she's probably fvcking other guys at the same time and only seeing her every few weeks is doing my head in.

What are you guys thoughts on keeping your ex as a fb? Has it ever worked out for you?

 

[Exoduso]

Been there, done that.
Stop it if you truly want to move on.

 

[plate's_empty]

Good question. I've wondered the same thing. I've tried it a few times in the past, but one of you (looks like it's you this time) usually still has strong feelings for the other. Two outcomes have happened for me. One, we end up getting back together exclusively, or two, one of us wants to get back with the other and the feeeling's not reciprocated so we end it once and for all.

It would be nice to be able to have an ex as a plate, since you'r both usually comfortable with each other sexually, and you don't have to put in the extra work to get her. But it hasn't worked out that great for me. Maybe it has for someone else.....

 

[Neon Owl]

The thing is I know as long as I'm seeing her the possibility of getting back together is always there in my mind. I know I'd find it very hard to form a relationship with another girl as long as she's there in my thoughts.

I think the feeling is somewhat mutual tbh as she's showed lots of signs of missing me since the breakup and the first time I saw her afterwards she kept saying how she really missed me and regretted what happened. But every time we speak in between meeting up she always says that we're just friends.

 

[Neon Owl]

Plus I don't really want to let her go until I've got another girl...I need the semi regular sex after being in a relationship as masturbating just doesn't cut it anymore and make me feel depressed when I have to resort to getting myself off.

 

[White Boy]

very big mistake

 

[Kevin Matthew]

Split up with my gf nearly 3 months ago now and so far have seen her twice and stayed at hers both times. I thought I could handle this situation as atm I'm not getting sex from any other girl so I thought it's better than nothing while I find someone else...problem is I'm finding it hard to let go of her emotionally.
I'm thinking of telling her next time I see her that I can't do this anymore...knowing that she's probably fvcking other guys at the same time and only seeing her every few weeks is doing my head in.

What are you guys thoughts on keeping your ex as a fb? Has it ever worked out for you?

It has been 1 week since i have started no contact with my ex...two days in she asked if I wanted to be in an open relationship...i considered it, but then realized how hard it would be...now she's going crazy.

Stop talking to her...NOW!! DO NOT TELL HER!! Go ghost, ASAP. Worst case scenario, you get over her...best case scenario, she texts you, you don't answer, she freaks out when you don't answer, she tries to contact you again, you don't answer, she keeps freaking out, you still don't answer, until she's mad over you.

I know what you're going through. I'm going through it to. It's time to move on, man. She has.

 

[JoeMarron]

Let her go. FB ex's can only work if you've moved on emotionally. Semi regular sex isn't worth losing your peace of mind over. Move on and start talking to other girls.

 

[Neon Owl]

I don't think I could just go NC with her out of the blue. I'd feel a right d1ck I like to leave on good terms with people it's just how I am.

I have been talking to other girls since the split I've already been on 2 dates but never got to date 2 with either of them as they just weren't my type.
I'm meeting another this weekend and we already get on well even though we've not met in person yet so I'm hoping it will go ok and help me realise I don't need my ex.

I think just sleeping with another girl who I also enjoy spending time with will help me gauge how much I'm still yearning for my ex. It's hard to know if I just miss having someone (anyone) who I've got a connection with physically and emotionally or if it's actually the person herself that I'm missing.

We'll see...either way I can't keep this up. I wake up and go to sleep every night thinking about her...it's not good.

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

It's not good. Get used to it though, It could be worse. In your state of depession you could have gone on a bender, driven home sh1t faced and ran over a family of four, as terrible as that is. Next thing you know you're locked up for 30 years, and guess what, you're not sleeping alone! Now you're sleeping with some bald dude who has a handle bar mustache and likes to stick a spoon up your ass.

 

[Vigs]

It has been 1 week since i have started no contact with my ex...two days in she asked if I wanted to be in an open relationship...i considered it, but then realized how hard it would be...now she's going crazy.

Stop talking to her...NOW!! DO NOT TELL HER!! Go ghost, ASAP. Worst case scenario, you get over her...best case scenario, she texts you, you don't answer, she freaks out when you don't answer, she tries to contact you again, you don't answer, she keeps freaking out, you still don't answer, until she's mad over you.I know what you're going through. I'm going through it to. It's time to move on, man. She has.

You have it backwards, best case scenario is you get over her, worst case is you keep working on the broken thing you have going. Its better to find someone new with a clean slate than to try and hold bad relationships together.

@OP the advice you are getting is sound. I slept with my ex wife for about two months after she left me. I didnt start healing until I went NC. You can do it cold turkey, or you can tell her why you need to. Cold Turkey has the chance of getting her interested again, but once again, the relationship failed for a reason, and those reasons are still there.

It sounds like she broke up with you, so protect yourself. She isnt going to.

 

[Zion]

Worst. Fvcking. Idea.

Do not do it.

 

[Hexagram]

Split up with my gf nearly 3 months ago now and so far have seen her twice and stayed at hers both times. I thought I could handle this situation as atm I'm not getting sex from any other girl so I thought it's better than nothing while I find someone else...problem is I'm finding it hard to let go of her emotionally.
I'm thinking of telling her next time I see her that I can't do this anymore...knowing that she's probably fvcking other guys at the same time and only seeing her every few weeks is doing my head in.

What are you guys thoughts on keeping your ex as a fb? Has it ever worked out for you?

Just so you know - She doesnt give a sh!t about how you feel right now.

Grow a fvcking pair and walk away like any man with a healthy self esteem would. And please dont say gay sh!t like "I cant do this anymore" - just do it.

 

[Neon Owl]

I know 100% that she's no good for me and I can find someone better but the fact that she was my first ever gf/lay is clouding my judgement badly. If I'm totally honest there's still a part of me that wants her to ask to get back together and become how we used to be...sort of like my logical and emotional sides are conflicting :/

I realise she probably doesn't care about how I'm feeling I know she's quite a selfish person deep down. I need to remember that.

The question is, do I agree to see her again and sleep with her then tell her I'm not seeing her ever again or just txt her and cut all contact...

 

[Neon Owl]

Ok I won't say 'I can't do this anymore' that does sound pretty bad doesn't it. Something like "It makes me sick to know you're fvcking other guys while I'm still seeing you" is much better I agree.