After reading this thread on failure, I started to think on what is worse than failure. Missed Opportunities. I thought about my opportunities in life that I had failed to capitalize on and why.
At the moment, I am sitting here in my office, rendering a video for a company in Canada to sell real estate in a Latin Amercian vacation spot. This has been one of my most lucrative clients since I started my own business and I thought about the opportunities that made it happen. But first a recap on missed opportunities.
My Background
First, I wanted to go to art school for computer animation and film making. My parents were of common working class stock. They were first in their family to attend college, the first to bootstrap their way out of poverty. My mother was a insurance claims adjuster, my father worked in a factory as a manager. We weren't wealthly nor were we going hungry. We were solid working/middle class. My parents didn't understand art school as a viable choice. Learn something you are good at, we spent good money on that computer, thats the future, learn that. I was a good boy who listened to his parents, they had never steered me wrong and so I took their word. Also they promised after 2 years, they would see about finding the money for art school.
So I went to school for computer information systems and hated it.
Missed Opportunity 1.
During my sophomore year in college in 1993, I worked in my MIS department. While I could troubleshoot, network, build computers and program, I began to shine in creating multimedia presentations. So much so that my boss started a whole side business having me and my roommate creating powerpoint and video presentations for his government contacts. He bought me my first real 3D software. I would spend nights rendering out animations and learning my software, and I'd spend my days in class and working for my boss. (I spent my weekends partying and getting laid like a demon, but we'll talk about that later). Late one night in a chatroom about 3D, I shared my work with the only other guy in the room. He was very impressed. We exchanged email addresses and eventually he offered me a job working for his company in the UK. Turns out, his company was Psygnosis and the game they were working on was Wipeout XL for the Playstation. I was stoked. 19 and I had a job offer from a major video game company. I was excited and went home and told my parents. They were not happy for me. The told me finish college first. They told me that I would be too far away. They told me that I was too young to move out of the country. They filled me with fear and I passed on the job. I know, you're probably calling me stupid right about now. Trust me, so am I.
Almost Missed Opportunity
During my Jr. year, my boss gets a contract to go to Saudi Arabia to teach computer based learning to the Royal Saudi Air Force. The starting salary would be 70k a year with taxes paid afterwards. Again, my parents pushed the fear buttons. But I decided to do it anyway. It turns out, they were requiring all contractors to have a Masters Degree, and so I didn't go. I didn't feel so bad about it. But I did feel bad about how my parents own programming prompted them to try and squash my opportunities.
Final Missed Opportunity
After college, I began working in local television as a graphic artist and animator. My best friend from college had moved to Atlanta and was working on a children's tv show creating 3D characters. His art director had recently taken a job in LA with a company that created DVD menu animations and designs for Hollywood films. He had already showed her my demo reel and recommended me for the job.
At this point in my life I was in my mid 20s I had a LTR and a 2 year old daughter. I felt this was my last chance to get out of this small town I was stuck in. I talked to the Art Director and she wanted me. I had the job. I had a friend in LA so I had a place to crash. The plan was to move out there for 6 months, save my money and get a place and then bring my family out there.
At first my girlfriend was all for it. I was finally going to be earning a real salary. But as the time drew near, she changed her mind. She told me she didn't want to be away from family and friends. She didn't think she would like it in LA and she refused to go. She refused to even discuss it. I felt torn between my desires to fulfill my ambition to work in film and my responsibilities to my family. I really felt this was my last chance to escape this crap town. My upbringing on putting family first and my love for my daughter and my fear of losing my girlfriend, my daughter and my self respect won out. This didn't happen without some resentment. In fact, it poisoned our relationship. I felt that she killed my dream for selfish reasons and used my daughter against me. It was the beginning of the end for us and I knew I was never going to marry her. I pretty much gave up after this. I gave up on being ambitious, working out, eating healthy. I gave up on everything. I defiantly gave up on our relationship and became a shell of a man, a yes dear no dear, whatever you want dear. After 2 years of that, she lost all respect for me. She cheated, and we split. I remember saying to myself....if I would have known this was going to happen, I would have went to LA anyway.
So what was the common theme? What was the lesson learned? What stopped me from grasping at the opportunities right before my eyes? Fear. Fear was at the root of missing out on all of these opportunities. I let fear overcome my faith in myself. I let fear of failure, fear of expectations, fear of responsibilities override my ambition. If I had a time machine, I would go back and tell that young man to believe in himself. That life goes on and the only regrets are the opportunities not taken.
I also took a long hard look at my upbringing. My parents believed in working hard and keeping your head down. Just be happy you have a decent job that pays the bills. Go with the flow.
I know you're thinking right about now. 'Warrior, What the hell does this have to do with picking up chics. I mean cool story bro. But I'm trying to get laid over here.' And well if you read that far, it's understanble that you would be asking that. One thing you noticed was this, I never listed women as a missed opportunity. I learned in college there are always more women. I've probably slept with around 50-60 women in my life (college was seriously fun). But I never really worried about women. I've dated cheerleaders and a couple of wanna be models that guys have drooled over. Why? Because I just walked up and started talking to them. Me. The computer nerd. My college girlfriend was co captain of our college cheerleading team. People couldn't understand it. But you see she wasn't my focus. My career was my focus. She was for fun. I never doubted that I should have a girl like her, or that she should go for me. It never really occurred to me until I started getting haters and people trying to undermine my relationship (again, that's another story for another day). My eyes were on the future, she could be there or not...someone else would take her place.
So how does this relate to game?
You have millions of opportunities to meet and have sex with women. Every day you have opportunities. What is the thing that is holding you back? Fear. When you don't approach, you miss an opportunity due to fear. I'm not good enough, I'm not tall, or I'm the wrong race, or I'm not dressed right...whatever the excuse is one fact remains. FEAR WILL ROB YOU OF OPPORTUNITIES.
You must have faith in yourself. You never know who this person is. It could be your future wife, your future link to someone who may hire you, your future FB for the next 6 months. But by doing nothing, you will never know. You cannot let fear rob you of opportunities. Even if you fail, you will learn something and a new opportunity will show up.
There's a good point to end this on. "A new opportunity will show up". So that begs the question, how does Warrior's story end. Did he get some dream job? Is he living in the lap of luxury in some LA party pad? Sadly no. I went on to get a better job, I pay child support. I see my daughter on weekends. The market has changed, new bright eyed young kids have taken over the 3D, graphics and effects market. New software and schools are teaching tons of kids today how to do this stuff. It's a buyers market for employers. The big paydays are gone. I lost my job a few months ago.
'Dammit Warrior, that sucks' you are probably saying. 'Bummer. What's the point of all this then?'
Well the point is this. I started studying internet marketing about 2 years ago. I started a service creating videos for clients online. After losing my job I partnered up with a friend who has a video production company and we are going after corporate and internet clients. People who will gladly pay for services. The lower costs of our industry now makes it possible to sell our services to more people in different markets. The internet means that we can find clients all over the world now. Now I am working on several websites and I will soon be selling my services in 4 different markets. I saw a new opportunity and this time I'm tackling it without any fear what so ever. And this time, I'm going to make it. The only obstacle to my success is me. And when it comes to women and game, the only obstacle to your success is you and your faith in yourself. Don't let fear rob you of opportunities, they are every where. Good Luck.
At the moment, I am sitting here in my office, rendering a video for a company in Canada to sell real estate in a Latin Amercian vacation spot. This has been one of my most lucrative clients since I started my own business and I thought about the opportunities that made it happen. But first a recap on missed opportunities.
My Background
First, I wanted to go to art school for computer animation and film making. My parents were of common working class stock. They were first in their family to attend college, the first to bootstrap their way out of poverty. My mother was a insurance claims adjuster, my father worked in a factory as a manager. We weren't wealthly nor were we going hungry. We were solid working/middle class. My parents didn't understand art school as a viable choice. Learn something you are good at, we spent good money on that computer, thats the future, learn that. I was a good boy who listened to his parents, they had never steered me wrong and so I took their word. Also they promised after 2 years, they would see about finding the money for art school.
So I went to school for computer information systems and hated it.
Missed Opportunity 1.
During my sophomore year in college in 1993, I worked in my MIS department. While I could troubleshoot, network, build computers and program, I began to shine in creating multimedia presentations. So much so that my boss started a whole side business having me and my roommate creating powerpoint and video presentations for his government contacts. He bought me my first real 3D software. I would spend nights rendering out animations and learning my software, and I'd spend my days in class and working for my boss. (I spent my weekends partying and getting laid like a demon, but we'll talk about that later). Late one night in a chatroom about 3D, I shared my work with the only other guy in the room. He was very impressed. We exchanged email addresses and eventually he offered me a job working for his company in the UK. Turns out, his company was Psygnosis and the game they were working on was Wipeout XL for the Playstation. I was stoked. 19 and I had a job offer from a major video game company. I was excited and went home and told my parents. They were not happy for me. The told me finish college first. They told me that I would be too far away. They told me that I was too young to move out of the country. They filled me with fear and I passed on the job. I know, you're probably calling me stupid right about now. Trust me, so am I.
Almost Missed Opportunity
During my Jr. year, my boss gets a contract to go to Saudi Arabia to teach computer based learning to the Royal Saudi Air Force. The starting salary would be 70k a year with taxes paid afterwards. Again, my parents pushed the fear buttons. But I decided to do it anyway. It turns out, they were requiring all contractors to have a Masters Degree, and so I didn't go. I didn't feel so bad about it. But I did feel bad about how my parents own programming prompted them to try and squash my opportunities.
Final Missed Opportunity
After college, I began working in local television as a graphic artist and animator. My best friend from college had moved to Atlanta and was working on a children's tv show creating 3D characters. His art director had recently taken a job in LA with a company that created DVD menu animations and designs for Hollywood films. He had already showed her my demo reel and recommended me for the job.
At this point in my life I was in my mid 20s I had a LTR and a 2 year old daughter. I felt this was my last chance to get out of this small town I was stuck in. I talked to the Art Director and she wanted me. I had the job. I had a friend in LA so I had a place to crash. The plan was to move out there for 6 months, save my money and get a place and then bring my family out there.
At first my girlfriend was all for it. I was finally going to be earning a real salary. But as the time drew near, she changed her mind. She told me she didn't want to be away from family and friends. She didn't think she would like it in LA and she refused to go. She refused to even discuss it. I felt torn between my desires to fulfill my ambition to work in film and my responsibilities to my family. I really felt this was my last chance to escape this crap town. My upbringing on putting family first and my love for my daughter and my fear of losing my girlfriend, my daughter and my self respect won out. This didn't happen without some resentment. In fact, it poisoned our relationship. I felt that she killed my dream for selfish reasons and used my daughter against me. It was the beginning of the end for us and I knew I was never going to marry her. I pretty much gave up after this. I gave up on being ambitious, working out, eating healthy. I gave up on everything. I defiantly gave up on our relationship and became a shell of a man, a yes dear no dear, whatever you want dear. After 2 years of that, she lost all respect for me. She cheated, and we split. I remember saying to myself....if I would have known this was going to happen, I would have went to LA anyway.
So what was the common theme? What was the lesson learned? What stopped me from grasping at the opportunities right before my eyes? Fear. Fear was at the root of missing out on all of these opportunities. I let fear overcome my faith in myself. I let fear of failure, fear of expectations, fear of responsibilities override my ambition. If I had a time machine, I would go back and tell that young man to believe in himself. That life goes on and the only regrets are the opportunities not taken.
I also took a long hard look at my upbringing. My parents believed in working hard and keeping your head down. Just be happy you have a decent job that pays the bills. Go with the flow.
I know you're thinking right about now. 'Warrior, What the hell does this have to do with picking up chics. I mean cool story bro. But I'm trying to get laid over here.' And well if you read that far, it's understanble that you would be asking that. One thing you noticed was this, I never listed women as a missed opportunity. I learned in college there are always more women. I've probably slept with around 50-60 women in my life (college was seriously fun). But I never really worried about women. I've dated cheerleaders and a couple of wanna be models that guys have drooled over. Why? Because I just walked up and started talking to them. Me. The computer nerd. My college girlfriend was co captain of our college cheerleading team. People couldn't understand it. But you see she wasn't my focus. My career was my focus. She was for fun. I never doubted that I should have a girl like her, or that she should go for me. It never really occurred to me until I started getting haters and people trying to undermine my relationship (again, that's another story for another day). My eyes were on the future, she could be there or not...someone else would take her place.
So how does this relate to game?
You have millions of opportunities to meet and have sex with women. Every day you have opportunities. What is the thing that is holding you back? Fear. When you don't approach, you miss an opportunity due to fear. I'm not good enough, I'm not tall, or I'm the wrong race, or I'm not dressed right...whatever the excuse is one fact remains. FEAR WILL ROB YOU OF OPPORTUNITIES.
You must have faith in yourself. You never know who this person is. It could be your future wife, your future link to someone who may hire you, your future FB for the next 6 months. But by doing nothing, you will never know. You cannot let fear rob you of opportunities. Even if you fail, you will learn something and a new opportunity will show up.
There's a good point to end this on. "A new opportunity will show up". So that begs the question, how does Warrior's story end. Did he get some dream job? Is he living in the lap of luxury in some LA party pad? Sadly no. I went on to get a better job, I pay child support. I see my daughter on weekends. The market has changed, new bright eyed young kids have taken over the 3D, graphics and effects market. New software and schools are teaching tons of kids today how to do this stuff. It's a buyers market for employers. The big paydays are gone. I lost my job a few months ago.
'Dammit Warrior, that sucks' you are probably saying. 'Bummer. What's the point of all this then?'
Well the point is this. I started studying internet marketing about 2 years ago. I started a service creating videos for clients online. After losing my job I partnered up with a friend who has a video production company and we are going after corporate and internet clients. People who will gladly pay for services. The lower costs of our industry now makes it possible to sell our services to more people in different markets. The internet means that we can find clients all over the world now. Now I am working on several websites and I will soon be selling my services in 4 different markets. I saw a new opportunity and this time I'm tackling it without any fear what so ever. And this time, I'm going to make it. The only obstacle to my success is me. And when it comes to women and game, the only obstacle to your success is you and your faith in yourself. Don't let fear rob you of opportunities, they are every where. Good Luck.
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