Met a girl, she's cool, BUT

[thursday]

Unusual problem. I've known this girl for a while now, she lives a few streets away from me, her brother is an old classmate of mine. I used to see her around sometimes, she's even on my facebook, but we never really talked properly until a few weeks ago. On that occasion her and I got on well, laughed, and connected. The problem is, I'm unlikely to see her again for a long time, if ever. Yes, she lives nearby, but we're extremely unlikely to be bump into eachother like that again, and her Brother and I aren't classmates anymore. We just don't run in the same circles.

But here's the thing, I'm not interested in her romantically; I actually would just like to be her friend. You think i'm crazy? Well I'm already dating a few girls and frankly i'm not attracted to this one, she just seems really cool and honest (rare for a girl). Basically I think she'd make a good friend. But how to make it happen? Send her a message on Facebook? If so, what would I say? It would seem very odd and out of the blue since I never really spoke to her before, and I don't want to give her the wrong idea.

How do you become friends with someone who has been an acquaintance for a long time, especially someone of the opposite sex? And what approach could I take in a facebook message?

(Please, no replies saying "why do you want to be friends with a girl?" Females are people too.

 

[runner83]

(Please, no replies saying "why do you want to be friends with a girl?" Females are people too.

Seeing as that's out of the question, if you were taking to her a few weeks ago, why not just send her a message on facebook.

What have you got to lose?

 

[thursday]

I plan to send her a message on Facebook.

I'm just seeking advice on the kind of thing to say that won't give off the vibe of someone who is romantically interested. Something not out of place. Remember, besides that one occassion, we've never properly talked before - we just saw each other around. Contacting her now would scream of "he wants to fvck me!", when actually, I DON'T! :crackup:

 

[MyTeamSupreme]

Females are people too.

HA! No they're not

 

[Joser590]

In reality, you have nothing to worry about because you aren't trying to get in her panties, just hang out her. If you guys connected like you said you guys did, than she should be thrilled to hear from you. It might sound crazy, but chicks love having guys as friends; we tend to make better friends because we have less drama and do not stab each other in the back.

If it helps, I always refer to my female friends as "dude" or even "bro" or "ese" (I'm Hispanic). Maybe you can start your facebook message with "What's up dude" so your correspondance seems less threatening. Just tell her it was cool catching up and that she seemed cool and that you would like to get her contact info. Trust me, she will not think it's weird and should pick up the friendship vibe.

 

[sodbuster]

I'm Calling BS on this "friendship"! When I meet a cool GUY that I enjoy hanging around, I don't ask advice from a forum on how to meet him-so he doesn't think its sexual. IF I see him again,cool,if not,thats OK too. Treat her the same way you would a guy.

 

[Iceberg]

I'm Calling BS on this "friendship"! When I meet a cool GUY that I enjoy hanging around, I don't ask advice from a forum on how to meet him-so he doesn't think its sexual. IF I see him again,cool,if not,thats OK too. Treat her the same way you would a guy.

Haha. Exactly.

If there's a cool dude at work, and I want to chill with him, I don't need to come on this site to ask the guy to grab a beer after work.

 

[thursday]

Ok, you got me. The reason i'm over thinking this is cause her Brother used to be a decent friend of mine. We're still mates, just not as close. Basically I want to avoid having him think that i'm hitting on his little sister, especially when i'm not.

I get what several of you are saying about meeting a cool guy and wanting to hang out, but the problem here is, there's no precedent or context for messaging her and saying "hey, how are you doing, want to hang out?".

 

[Iceberg]

Ok, you got me. The reason i'm over thinking this is cause her Brother used to be a decent friend of mine. We're still mates, just not as close. Basically I want to avoid having him think that i'm hitting on his little sister, especially when i'm not.

I get what several of you are saying about meeting a cool guy and wanting to hang out, but the problem here is, there's no precedent or context for messaging her and saying "hey, how are you doing, want to hang out?".

"Hey dude. (Calling her dude will signify your LACK of romantic interest)

It was cool catching up with you the other week. Was thinking about going out with some friends to __X__Bar. You should tag along. __X__ Bar has a great happy hour."

If you're too young to drink, replace bar with bowling. Or whatever people too when they're not old enough to drink. I dont know.