part 1
She's from the eastern europe, I'm from the south. We met when we were living abroad.
We broke up before summer, well, I broke up with her because all of this
I did not get a gf before cause I did not. I was not even close to a player years before I met her.
I think to myself that if I wanted to get married I'd like it to be with a nice girl like her, but without all this problems...
Well at least that explains a little bit of the parental attachment. In some eastern European countries, family values are of a lot more importance than here in the US. A lot of times the male kids end up living with their parents and females are the one to move out once they get married. However, I’ve never seen or heard of a case where a girl absolutely HAS TO have dinner at her parents EVERY night. That seems a bit extreme.
Another thing is that most of the girls from these countries (once again, I don’t know the specific country so I’m generalizing) are more submissive than girls here and more willing to follow a man’s lead. A lot of this comes from the upbringing, since they are quite a bit more “old fashioned”, in other words man is the head of the family, the female knows “her place” and a lot of times if kids act out of control, a spanking is not out of the question. Ironically, their divorce rates are so incredibly low that it proves beyond the shadow of a doubt that the culture in that sense absolutely works for marriage. The culture is such that there is no “*****fication” of the males, as can be often seen here in the States.
So having said all that, it doesn’t seem like you quite have the “upper hand” in this relationship, which is required for a marriage to work, at least in my opinion. She is “stubborn” because she has power over you. If you were truly the “man” in this situation, she would bow down and follow your lead, and if you say “babe, we’re not going to your parents every night, that’s too extreme and I want us to have a life of our own”, she should be able to follow your lead on that. If you were firm about such things from the very beginning of your relationship, you would have kept your power. Most guys give in to things early on in order to get a chicks approval, and think later on things will change. They don’t. If you’ve given away all your power, the rest of your relationship will always be a power struggle, because even if you try taking your power back, she already KNOWS that you currently don’t have it. It’s not impossible to get your power back, but it’s damn DAMN hard, and it would actually be much easier to start over with a new girl who is submissive and will follow your lead RIGHT AWAY. But be wary, you always have to keep this frame and keep the lead, because if you slip up and let her have control, you are in TROUBLE.
So I see it more of a case of her not really respecting you 100% as a man, instead of her being stubborn. She just doesn’t care too much about your opinion and wishes, because she has gotten away with this for YEARS, and obviously keeps getting away with it. “You see no pattern to what she may not agree with”, in other words you’re saying, “she’s in charge, and if she doesn’t like something, she’ll throw a fit and I’ll give in, she pretty much has my balls on a platter”. So she’s not stubborn, she’s just in charge and you follow her wishes. You also didn’t answer, how and why did you get back together? If you broke up with her, were you weak enough to give into her trying to get you back? Or did you crumble and go back to her? And how long were you guys apart? Did you or she see anyone else while “broken up”? Sometimes we humans are stupid and get back with our exes because we see them with other people and we just can’t stand it and it makes us want them back (temporarily) and we get back with them, for obviously all the wrong reasons. Before you know it, the same problems that were always there arise again.
Anyway, I don’t expect too much more info from you, since you’re being pretty secretive about the whole thing. I guess I can’t blame you too much, since this is an internet forum and all. But having said that, it’s hard to get some solid advice based on limited information. Oh, and your question about the marriage clock ticking, I mean, sure it’s a decent possibility. We all know that most girls feel like they should be married by a certain age, while they can still be young enough to have kids. So yes, it’s a possibility, but you can’t ask us to be 100% sure in that being one of her main goals. I mean, we don’t know this girl, and you’ve been with her for a while now. In addition to the marriage clock, there can be any millions of additional reasons she wants to marry you, and not all of them are based on love. It’s sad but true. Women can put up with unreal situations for whatever reasons, and pretend like all is fine and dandy. Which is why you see so many old geezers signing away their fortunes to some gold-digging bit*hes in their 20s, whom they are “certain that they love and they love them back”. Aha, yeah, sure.
Oh, and you also said that she even mentions that she might be getting too old to get married and have kids? Wow, they usually won’t say that, and will just trap you lol, but she is pretty much telling you straight up. Look, having said all this, I’m still not even telling you “don’t’ do it”. Hell, it’s your life, do whatever the f*ck you want. I personally think you’re just used to her and she’s all you know. Hell, you couldn’t even get laid before you found her, at 23 years old. This is why I’m asking you, because I don’t know too many guys that didn’t get a girl before they were 23. Too be honest, I don’t think I know ANY guys that waited that long to get a girl, so I asked you why? Were you just too shy; had some glaring physical defect, just introverted and never able to make a move? Didn’t have interest? Anyway, the reason I asked that in the first place, is because the few guys that I do know that waited unusually long to get a girl (maybe they were 19, or 20, or even 21), they had a HARD TIME letting her go.