Major inner game issue with follow up

[yuppaz]

Hey everyone,

I'm realizing lately that most likely due to so many failures in the recent past that I am at this point fine and smooth as silk when I am meeting someone in person, but after that I have a serious phobia of rejection when trying to set something up after the fact or follow up with someone. Have had so many failures and just blatant ignores after the fact that I'm tired of it and don't want to go through any more rejections, so I have basically stopped closing in the first place. It's also crossed over to another level. I was basically setup with someone by my brother and sister in law, we hung out kissed, blah whatever a couple days in a row, but now I'm defaulting to rejection on following up after the fact and it shows in my communication with the girl. I'm anticipating it. My goal in getting game is to have tons of beautiful women as options I can take or leave whenever, and at this point I'm more of an approach artist then a pickup artist and I'm not sure how to get over this new phobia that I've created for myself. Does anyone have good advice on getting this handled, maybe some kind of exercise to help me fix my major fear of follow up rejection or method they use for the initial follow ups that work well for them, so I can get over it with more success?

It would be VERY much appreciated.

 

[yuppaz]

anyone?

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

Try this, I'm sure there's something that can help:

http://www.recreateyourlife.com/free/

give this a try as well:

http://www.innergametapping.com/

 

[squirrels]

It's no secret I've been "out of commission" as far as dating for the last year or so, but back when I was still out there, maybe 80% (possibly more) of the numbers that I pulled got deleted within 10 minutes of me acquiring them.

Two things contributed to this...one was the fact that, typically, after getting a girl's number, when I have time to sit back and think about the interaction, I realize how dreadfully LITTLE we have in common. I can count on one hand the number of women I've found interesting to spend time with. They all seem wonderful when you're in the presence of that smiling face and those perky t!tt!es, but step away for two minutes and the whole thing seems totally retarded. I can't remember ever having gotten a girl's number and then gone home and gotten EXCITED about calling it.

It's more like, "Oh God, I have to go out with this girl and sit there and listen to her inane babble about crap I don't care about, or watch her struggle through a game of mini-golf or pool or whatever, just in the hopes that I might get her clothes off. Is it really worth it?"

The other reason is ego-driven, I suppose. I'm not an idealist, but I know that most first-dates aren't going to lead to anything interesting. Here's the thing...it doesn't matter whether I don't like her, she doesn't like me, or we're just not compatible...any time a date doesn't work out, women raised in this century believe that *I* am the problem...since you know, THEY are perfect and infallable.

I just cannot and will not bring myself to give women that kind of satisfaction by consenting to date them in the first place. There's some satisfaction in deleting a girl's number and saying, "Take that, you arrogant c*nt. You are denied the privilege of being around me...grow a personality." It's that feeling that SOMEONE has to take a stand against the growing collective ego that is women, let them know that they're low-quality and there is at least ONE man that will take a stand against them.

Of course, all it really does is nullify my chances of hooking up...because they will forget as soon as the next douche-wagon comes up and starts drooling over her. It's a losing battle.

Hilariously enough, I have come full-circle...I went from average frustrated chump, to "player", to above-average frustrated chump.

What I think your problem might be...if it's anything like mine...is that we've both sort of forgotten the POINT of all this. We've forgotten what's GOOD about women...why we WANT to hook up with them.

If your only reason for getting women's numbers is to prove that you CAN, then once you get the number, you'll cut yourself off from further exposure. The reason is that all you see is the downside to continuing to interact with these women.

Sex-drive alone is sufficient motivation when you're a hormone-infused teenager. Once you get to your 30s, it just isn't enough upside on its own to offset the "bad" aspects of the "game".

There's an old tale I used to hear from the days when I used to hang out on supposed "success-related" forums....

A young boy once asked Socrates, "How can I obtain more wisdom?"

Socrates said, "Come with me" and let the youth down to the river. As the boy approached the river, Socrates suddenly pushed his head down into the water and held it there for several seconds, until the boy started sputtering for air. He then let go.

Once the boy caught his breath, Socrates asked him, "What did you desire most when your head was below the water?"

"Air", the boy replied.

Socrates replied back, "When you want wisdom as much as you just wanted air, you will receive it."


Napoleon Hill and others will be the first to talk about "whipping yourself into a frenzy of desire". Many PUAs who taught me a few things talk about tapping your natural sexual desire ("horniness") to help motivate you to do things that women find sexually attractive.

If you cannot truly work yourself up into this state of desire, if you cannot feel attraction to women strongly enough to counteract your aversions to the dating/mating game, you will NOT be successful with the ladies. Period.

It's why alcohol always used to be my friend when talking to women...with all of the rationalization and understanding SILENCED by intoxication, it allowed natural instincts to take over.

Unfortunately, my mind has become strong enough to see through the fog I create for it...now alcohol does not silence it enough...it puts it on equal footing with my baser human desires, which leads to a non-committal half-arsed approach to the ladies. A sort of uncertainty that women mistake for an awkward shyness. It's not that I'm scared of rejection...it's more that I'm trying to decide whether to embrace my attraction to them or revulsion from them. But it may as well be all the same.

The girls can even be attracted to YOU...if you can't reach inside yourself and tap the inner-fire, no set of meager Don Juan skills is going to lead you to success.

 

[yuppaz]

wow Squirrels,

I totally appreciate your reply, man. You have obviously put a lot of thought into this, it is succinct and it means the world to me.

At the start, we may be at different places here, I am slightly dissolute as to womens thought processes, but not that much. I think that yes they are spoiled, but that is due to men's pandering and their expectation of it. Men are just too weak with women, and women encourage that because it is to their benefit. BUt put the shoe on the other foot and what would you do? If I was a hot chick and a bunch of pandering fools were throwing things and time and attention at me for nothing, I would probably take them, especially if I knew that it wouldn't last forever. I would also go for what was the absolute best for me, someone rich, good looking, fun etc. Can we really blame them for that....what if it were you? You have to admit in the beginning they have all the power, because of their vagina, and they know that. That is probably why they are taught to not give it away too early, to get the man to commit more emotionally first because they KNOW they lose all that power as soon as they spread their legs to us. You know very well that once you've banged a girl a couple times, if she is somewhat healthy she will want to be around you more, and will even change into the kind of girl you think she wants. Her entire existence and identity depends on the guy she is with, and a lot of the time she acts just like that, and she f*cking knows it. So it can be a huge commitment, depending on the girl.

I guess maybe that's why evolution makes us want the hottest girls, pretty babies = good looks = easier survival, besides if the girls morph into your definition, then what does personality have to do with anything anyway. Maybe with regards to that, think about what you are taking a stand FOR, in the end it won't change other men, so why not get yours and f*ck the rest, unless they are one of the boys / our community brothers.

I guess for me right now, I start to get nervous at the idea of rejection on follow up, like it really ****s me up at this point. I can have a good 20 minute conversation with someone, while staying strong internally and have her staring in my eyes with obvious great attraction, but I just KNOW that the moment won't transpire into more, because in person I'm a champ, all along with my texty little fingers, I'm just a chump and because I'm asking for something (to hang out), she gets the power and she ****ing gets validation and what good am I at that point...??? It's pervasive, it's been going on for a long time and I don't know how to fix it.

I've once tried Gunwitch method, early on when I started doing this, by getting really horny with the random chick I'm talking to, and it actually went pretty well. But I can only seem to show that with someone I know doesn't get 100 propositions a day, with the hotter ones, I feel like maybe I don't compare to the other guys (even though analytically I know that I do...but I'm not tall enough, not cool enough, don't have enough friends or cool stuff going on, etc. etc. goes through my mind).

Do you recommend getting horny as f*ck before calling / texting to give out those vibes when communicating with these girls?