main plate has become my LTR - bon voyage

[Scormus]

Just to update, my main plate (tall, slim, sexy Eastern European 8.5 who is 8 years younger) is my LTR now, and I've given up my other plates (gasp).

The divorce case she was having is sorted now, though she is still in a child custody case (a son from a previous marriage, who doesn't live with her or even in our country).

It felt like a bit of an "up or out" situation, promote her or lose her, and I've decided to give it a go. I feel that I am better off and happier with one of her, than to have 5 plates who are 6's and 7's.

We live 3.5 hours away from each other (we used to live in the same city, but I had to move away for work reasons), and she'd have to find a new job to join me in my new city, but I guess that is detail to sort later.

On a trip away together I discovered she can be high maintenance (nitpicked me about the detail of how to take the photos on the trip) and nagged me about being a better guy in general (e.g. "know the wines we are ordering", lol; it pisses her off to know that I can afford better but like to eat junk food, "my friend fell for her guy fast because he could cook well"), but I think it is OK, she apologised at the end without prompting, and she verbalised how she feels for me (to which I just said, good to know).

I called her out on being high maintenance and she didn't deny it and even said, well if you like low maintenance there are less attractive girls than me who would be. Lol. I told her if not for her looks I would dump her, but she can get away with a little bit more on account of her looks.

Its all good, I like the honesty, I think this girl and I understand each other.

 

[VladPatton]

So far, by what you've written, I'd say you're doomed.

 

[TheCWord]

As Vlad points out, there are some red flags in your post but we obviously don't know the whole story. Be sure to keep your eyes open and your guard up, and don't fall into a pattern of accepting bad behaviour or ignoring red flags just because you're in an LTR now and don't want to deal with a breakup/being alone.

How'd the LTR thing come up? Was there a talk where something was officially said or have you guys just kind of naturally settled into being an exclusive couple?

I called her out on being high maintenance and she didn't deny it and even said, well if you like low maintenance there are less attractive girls than me who would be.

If anything's going to doom you it's going to be this. If she thinks all she has to bring to the table is good looks and that you should be grateful and accept her BS just cause she's attractive, that sets a bad frame.

And newsflash to sweetheart: looks fade.

 

[Scormus]

How'd the LTR thing come up? Was there a talk where something was officially said or have you guys just kind of naturally settled into being an exclusive couple?

It was a bit of both. She asked if I had slept with any other women since I met her. I said yes. She said I cheated on her. I said no, we weren't in a relationship yet. She said she thought we were from a point in time late last year. She asked me if I was banging anyone else right now. I swore I'm not.

She knows I am capable of walking, so I don't think the BS can get out of line, and apart from putting out every time, she had presents for me on Valentine's, the main one must have cost her a day's salary. And did I mention from the first bang (which was premeditated as it was a sleepover) she has always turned up with no hair below her eyebrows - what more could a guy want?

So if she is high maintenance it could be more like she sets high standards for herself by being the best girlfriend she knows how to be.

 

[samspade]

Just to update, my main plate (tall, slim, sexy Eastern European 8.5 who is 8 years younger) is my LTR now, and I've given up my other plates (gasp).

The divorce case she was having is sorted now, though she is still in a child custody case (a son from a previous marriage, who doesn't live with her or even in our country).

It felt like a bit of an "up or out" situation, promote her or lose her, and I've decided to give it a go. I feel that I am better off and happier with one of her, than to have 5 plates who are 6's and 7's.

We live 3.5 hours away from each other (we used to live in the same city, but I had to move away for work reasons), and she'd have to find a new job to join me in my new city, but I guess that is detail to sort later.

On a trip away together I discovered she can be high maintenance (nitpicked me about the detail of how to take the photos on the trip) and nagged me about being a better guy in general (e.g. "know the wines we are ordering", lol; it pisses her off to know that I can afford better but like to eat junk food, "my friend fell for her guy fast because he could cook well"), but I think it is OK, she apologised at the end without prompting, and she verbalised how she feels for me (to which I just said, good to know).

I called her out on being high maintenance and she didn't deny it and even said, well if you like low maintenance there are less attractive girls than me who would be. Lol. I told her if not for her looks I would dump her, but she can get away with a little bit more on account of her looks.

Its all good, I like the honesty, I think this girl and I understand each other.

Are you telling us all this in spite of your decision? These all seem like reasons not to "promote" her. Don't get me wrong, if you just want a hot piece of a$$ on your arm without the hassle of plate spinning, I get that. But divorced + kid + long distance + high maintenance + nagging = a lot of marks against her. You should be treating her like she is a 6 anyway, take her down a notch or two.

 

[zekko]

But divorced + kid + long distance + high maintenance + nagging = a lot of marks against her. You should be treating her like she is a 6 anyway, take her down a notch or two.

Well, there's one way to get an 8.5, lol.

Divorced with a kid? I thought foreign women were supposed to be better than that.

"my friend fell for her guy fast because he could cook well"),

Wow, remember when guys used to look for women who could cook? Now apparently the opposite is true.

Having said that, I'm a pretty good cook. My girlfriend is doing most of the cooking at the moment, but I taught her a good deal of it.

 

[Scormus]

Divorced with a kid? I thought foreign women were supposed to be better than that.

I bet if I moved to her homeland I could get the equivalent but a few years younger with no kid. But then what livelihood would I have there, my craft is in the UK.

I met her in the UK, she has been here nearly 5 years, let's be glad she isn't as unrealistic as some British 6's who think they are better than me its laughable.

 

[In2theGame]

So far, by what you've written, I'd say you're doomed.

LoL i was kinda thinking the same.