LR: "Too Bad We Didn't Connect At The End"

[Pair A Dice]

Disclaimer: I know I fvcked up here. I'm still kicking myself over it. Took the dirty talk too far and got caught up in the moment.

Went out with a woman from OKCupid tonight. Very attractive.

Traded all of six, short messages before I got her number. Sent three texts before tonight’s, “Margaritas tonight?”

She responded positively and we scheduled a meet-up tonight at a spot in her town, about 30 minutes from me. Got there, hit it off, got some frozen margaritas and started kicking it.

Everything went according to plan — take a shot, bounce venues, establish social proof, land the first kiss, etc.

Picked up a six-pack at a local gas station, rolled back to her place and kicked it. At first, I suggested we bounce to a bar my friend manages downtown, but we chatted for a bit and stayed at home for a while. I made my move, pushing her against the wall (which she liked), pulling her top down (which she liked), and others.

Eventually I figured we should bounce locations and we rolled downtown. Got a good parking spot, walked to my buddy’s spot, had a few drinks. Immediately, I looked like the man of the spot. I had it rolling.

We spent about 30 minutes there before crashing a random party with free beer, got back to my car, kissed a bit more and bounced back to her spot. Once we got there, things picked up and we got back to her bedroom.

Things went well until I told her to, “Shut the fvck up and roll over.” She didn’t take that well and got cold soon after.

We still fvcked. I ate her out (which I shouldn’t have, since she had a hairy pvssy). We fvcked some more.

Eventually I stood up for myself, saying “Suck my d!ck or I’m going to jerk it on you. Pick one.” She grew cold — go figure — and I picked my sh!t up and rolled out.

When I got to the door, she said “Too bad we didn’t connect at the end.” Yeah, too bad.

Addendum: Posted about it on my blog, but I'd appreciate some comments here.

Stood up for myself. A man's got to get his too, and if she's not going to facilitate that, you got to move on.

 

[Boilermaker]

Woman are looking for alpha males.

So part I of your act, check.

They are not looking for juvenile jerks, morons or a..holes.

Part II of your act, fail.

 

[pinhas]

Yea dude you were way to harsh; gotta know when to drop the ****y/jerk thing and actually connect with a woman and have a great sex session.

 

[pdx1138]

Part II might have been ok to say.....after getting to know her more/a few weeks passing.

some women get off on talk like that (slvts for sure) some don't...she apparently didn't.

 

[azanon]

You might want to thumb through the DJ bible again. I don't believe there's a section where you're encouraged to be disrespectful to women.

There's a fine line between taking charge/being a leader, and just being disrespectful. Most humans don't like the latter.

 

[samspade]

Your mistake was situational. Like the other guys said, sometimes women are looking for that kind of talk, but it sounds like you were tone deaf in this instance. Unless she's begging to be talked to like that, you have to tread carefully. Sounds like she liked you but got the mistaken (?) impression that you were just looking to jizz at the end and leave. That's why she said you didn't connect. Maybe you don't care, but you probably wouldn't be posting about it if you didn't care.

 

[HoneyHitter]

You did a great job, considering the kind of woman you're looking for. Why waste time waiting for a "maybe". I personally would've not forced it onto her. If she doesn't satisfy me the way I like, I simply stop pursuing. POF, anyway.

However, I think there maybe something else at play...

If you never command her anything OUTSIDE the bedroom, she may start acting awkward if you suddenly tell her to "shut the fvck up and roll over" INSIDE the bedroom. It probably could have been prevented if you would have set that frame earlier on during the date.

 

[women haze]

Things went well until I told her to, “Shut the fvck up and roll over.” She didn’t take that well and got cold soon after.

We still fvcked. I ate her out (which I shouldn’t have, since she had a hairy pvssy). We fvcked some more.

Eventually I stood up for myself, saying “Suck my d!ck or I’m going to jerk it on you. Pick one.” She grew cold — go figure — and I picked my sh!t up and rolled out.

Why did you do this? I think others have said what I was thinking...that was a dumba ss move right there, and made you look like a bitter woman hating *******...

You had EVERYTHING ELSE RIGHT!!! all you had to do was be sweet give her a good thrashing and not be disrespectful about it....

I really want to know what your mindset was when you did this?
what turned you from awesome guy...to *******?

 

[azanon]

Your mistake was situational. Like the other guys said, sometimes women are looking for that kind of talk

Don't get me wrong, I agree with this too, btw. Psychologists would refer to these types of women as being either histrionic or borderline. But do you really want to attract these types?

 

[Pair A Dice]

Thanks for all of your responses.

I'm not really sure what flipped the switch in my mind. Had a great time during the date, got to fvcking and maybe it was just that she wanted it to be all about her. There wasn't any mention of trying to make it a mutual experience.

I wasn't getting mine and why should I need to put up with that? It wasn't a smooth move on my end and probably shot myself in the foot more than anything.

C'est la vi.

 

[macagent]

certainly better ways to deal with your situation in the end, but that's what this life is all about brother: learning. have fun with it!

 

[zekko]

Generally speaking, girls do not like to be told to "shut the fvck up", dominance or not. I'd leave that out of your repertoire.

Still, she might have been more open to this type of talk and treatment in the bedroom once she had gotten to know you better.
Maybe she wanted her first time with you to be a little more special, or at least to have been treated with a modicum of respect.

 

[cordoncordon]

Went out with a woman from OKCupid tonight. Very attractive.

Traded all of six, short messages before I got her number. Sent three texts before tonight’s, “Margaritas tonight?”

She responded positively and we scheduled a meet-up tonight at a spot in her town, about 30 minutes from me. Got there, hit it off, got some frozen margaritas and started kicking it.

Everything went according to plan — take a shot, bounce venues, establish social proof, land the first kiss, etc.

Picked up a six-pack at a local gas station, rolled back to her place and kicked it. At first, I suggested we bounce to a bar my friend manages downtown, but we chatted for a bit and stayed at home for a while. I made my move, pushing her against the wall (which she liked), pulling her top down (which she liked), and others.

Eventually I figured we should bounce locations and we rolled downtown. Got a good parking spot, walked to my buddy’s spot, had a few drinks. Immediately, I looked like the man of the spot. I had it rolling.

We spent about 30 minutes there before crashing a random party with free beer, got back to my car, kissed a bit more and bounced back to her spot. Once we got there, things picked up and we got back to her bedroom.

Things went well until I told her to, “Shut the fvck up and roll over.” She didn’t take that well and got cold soon after.

We still fvcked. I ate her out (which I shouldn’t have, since she had a hairy pvssy). We fvcked some more.

Eventually I stood up for myself, saying “Suck my d!ck or I’m going to jerk it on you. Pick one.” She grew cold — go figure — and I picked my sh!t up and rolled out.

When I got to the door, she said “Too bad we didn’t connect at the end.” Yeah, too bad.

Addendum: Posted about it on my blog, but I'd appreciate some comments here.

Stood up for myself. A man's got to get his too, and if she's not going to facilitate that, you got to move on.

This is just a terrible thing to say to a girl on a first date and for the first time f'ing her. I could see if you said this after knowing her for some time and it was said in the heat of the moment and said in a way that the woman knows you are just talking dirty to her during the heat of the moment. But to say those two things to someone you barely know? We men wonder why women say men are pigs haha. Just brutally bad.

And it tells me a lot about her character that she went ahead and f'd you after that first thing you said. Any girl with a shade of class would have told you to get the hell out of her bed and walk the F out.

 

[DonJuan_DeRosco]

And it tells me a lot about her character that she went ahead and f'd you after that first thing you said. Any girl with a shade of class would have told you to get the hell out of her bed and walk the F out.

She was maybe scared of what would happen if she refused.

OP, what the hell were you thinking?!

 

[The_Crack]

i literally laughed my ass off when i read that haha
i've said the same line " shut the fvck up and roll over" to a girl and she loved it. Funny how some women are different than others

 

[scrouds]

The mistake was the second time. Pull that sht out and use it, but if she don't like the assholio talk, drop it. Different chicks like different things, a truly suave man figures it out. And if he gets it wrong the first time, he doesn't repeat the error.

 

[Pair A Dice]

She was maybe scared of what would happen if she refused.

OP, what the hell were you thinking?!

Got tired of it all being about her and not a mutual understanding of pleasure. Wasn't the greatest lay in my life, but she was a cool woman.

 

[Pair A Dice]

The mistake was the second time. Pull that sht out and use it, but if she don't like the assholio talk, drop it. Different chicks like different things, a truly suave man figures it out. And if he gets it wrong the first time, he doesn't repeat the error.

By the second time I said something, I was just done with it all. I've never made this mistake before and won't again.

 

[vatoloco]

Things went well until I told her to, “Shut the fvck up and roll over.” She didn’t take that well and got cold soon after.

Clicky

My commentary here.

 

[Pair A Dice]

Clicky

My commentary here.

Not sure what you're getting at.

Like someone said earlier, different words work on different women. I got tired of it being all about her, so I made a move. It backfired. Rarely does.