Losing Interest

[Cashew]

She isn't the one starting to losing interest. I am. If I lose complete interest, I'd obviously just move on to another girl. It's not at that point yet. I wouldn't have a problem finding another, but I'd rather keep this girl. I think this one is really great, both looks and personality are amazing; she is just not challenging to me.

She is always the one driving and coming over to my place to hang out or before we leave for somewhere (recently moved back in with her parents for a bit, so I have no intention of going there). I always pick our dates, and when she does suggest something, it's obvious that she does so based on the fact I would like to do it. They are often things she isn't so big on. Though things she enjoys are things I like to do as well, I just seem to have more hobbies or activites that I like doing when compared to her.

To me it seems like she is putting in a lot of effort and investment (which is good). Though I'm putting forth some effort, it isn't a lot and it hasn't seemed necessary to me as she will come over or do something with me whenever I tell/suggest it to her.

What can I do to get her to be more of a challenge to me or to increase her value without lowering my own?

 

[pingpongz]

Sounds like you have a keeper. Dont **** it up. If you want a challenge go complete a jigsaw.

 

[Acq]

What can I do to get her to be more of a challenge to me or to increase her value without lowering my own?

my ex was also no challenge, despite of her being VERY hot and investing too much energy into our relationship. At the end, when I lost interest to a point of no return she became an extreme AFC so our relationship had ended.. There was no challenge from her, she did everything to please me, and that was annoying.

 

[DJ#7436]

I think you're screwed. She obviously has no hobbies and no friends to value.

You'll find a girl that does and you will have some level of competition for her time which will keep your attention and attraction level higher.

I just came out of a LTR with the girl you mentioned. Ending it wasnt fun because she was a great person, just no hobbies and no life outside of me.

My .02

DJ#7436

 

[Cashew]

I think you're screwed. She obviously has no hobbies and no friends to value.

She has quite a few friends who she hangs out with regularly and a decent social life. I am just a very busy guy, so I don't always have time for her. But it seems that when I do have time, she will be available to me 95+% of that time.

 

[guywhoneedshelp]

my ex was also no challenge, despite of her being VERY hot and investing too much energy into our relationship. At the end, when I lost interest to a point of no return she became an extreme AFC so our relationship had ended.. There was no challenge from her, she did everything to please me, and that was annoying.

Yea same thing with me. I actually had the same problem.

I was with my ex for a little over a year and it was just boring after awhile. The only times I'd ever be excited to see her were when we got into a fight and didn't talk for 3 or 4 days.

She was available every day and expected to see me every day, and everything was so arranged. She couldn't just "stop by" for a few hours and things would be cool, my day was scheduled around here. She expected to see me the moment I was done with school/work and she was pretty much an AFC.

Then all of the sudden after making fun of her "no life" status for awhile she broke up with me and considered me "abusive." she then started hanging out with her friends (mainly male) every night til 2am and as far as I know she still doesn't work or go to school or really do anything productive with her life.

 

[Acq]

Then all of the sudden after making fun of her "no life" status for awhile she broke up with me and considered me "abusive." she then started hanging out with her friends (mainly male) every night til 2am and as far as I know she still doesn't work or go to school or really do anything productive with her life

Same here.....

 

[guywhoneedshelp]

As much as I thought it was a turn on to be with a girl who was obsessed with me and had no life other than me...it eventually was a turn OFF!

At first it was like "yea I get to bang this hb every day!" but then it was like "baby lets take a week of no sex...so it'll feel good again..."

When I met her she had mainly male friends then midway in the relationship she complained she didn't have any friends anymore. Why do you think? Because your male friends want to bang you and now that you are with me they feel as if they have the chance!

Now she's back to hanging out with all those AFCs and man I hope she's happy...but she's gonna realize that in this day and age she's gonna be stuck with no education and no skills and the only thing she could do to be somewhat successful is marry a rich guy. Which she probably wont do because she's too damn shy.

What's with these types of chicks?

 

[Cashew]

I'm glad you guys can identify with my situation, but...

A.) It isn't very encouraging.

B.) It doesn't really help. It'd be nice if I could get some actual advice, or at least thoughts/opinions, about how to potentially fix this problem.

 

[shinko]

women who are attractive have less need to develop a character, likes dislikes, hobbies and so on. they have there looks and its enough to get more than enough attention from men so there is never much need for them to do any real character development or growth.the hotter they are the worse the problem. the up shot is, that after a while sometimes a very short while they are such boring company you want to move on.sure looks are important, but you get used to them, they become 'normal' to you. which is where someone with some depth really means something

Further since men on this forum go to greater lengths than most to live a full, vibrant and varied live, these women with little to no depth are shockingly unforfilling.

That's been my experience anyway.

As for advice, see her less. once maybe twice a week max. Encourage her to go out with her girls, take up some hobbies together, or things she always talked about but never did. Maintain your 'interesting' life and encourage her strongly to do the same. Talk about things beyond the mundane, challenge her a little without being harsh and see what she is capable of. she'll prob wonder what on earth is happening since she'll think your pushing her away, so tred carfully and be tactful

 

[RokyRoc]

You guys have finally stumbled upon the disadvantage of being in the sosuave community and being a DJ.

You have standards now, and now not every pretty looking girl is going to be good enough for you. Luckily you have the skills now to approach more and more girls. See unfortunately now that you can meet women and talk to them without any intimidation or pedestals, they become human and as humans they can become boring and predictable. What I have learned is that now we need to play a new dating game. Instead of picking that one girl and then going for her, we need to pick 100 girls and go for them. We need to hang out with the chill the fun and the challenging ones and leave the others behind. Its a sad fact to be tired of having sex, but when you get to that point, its hard to change things without being a jerk or ending the relationship.

 

[Crazy Asian]

haha i feel this way too.
at first this one girl was hot.
but now that she's so easy, i don't find her attractive anymore.